OK, so maybe calling him a thief might be a little strong, but … nah, he’s a thief.

I know – I am a die-hard Jazz fan and am too familiar with the John Amaechi years. Simply put, he was a terrible player – he really had no business being in the NBA for five years.

Let’s be clear – he was not awful because he is ####. He was awful on his own accord. By all accounts, he was a nice enough guy off the court. Back then he was whiny in the press and rumored to be part of the malcontents (including Mark Jackson and Deshawn Stevenson) on the team, but that really makes him no different than any other NBA player. There were frequent stories about his run-ins with Jerry Sloan – again, not all that unusual.

I don’t care that he is #### – if people want to make a big deal about it, so be it. But honestly, Amaechi really wasn’t a player that would merit any attention other than being ####.

But reading excerpts from Amaechi’s book disgusts me. But it has nothing to do with his personal lifestyle and everything to do with his professional attitude. Let me set the background. The Jazz signed him in 2001 as a desperate attempt to shore up the front-line They gave him a 4-year, $12 million contract – a significant amount of money at the time.

Over the next two seasons, there were numerous rumors about Amaechi’s poor work habits and attitude. It was apparent to anyone watching him play that he was dogging it on the court. In 104 regular-season games, Amaechi averaged 2.6 points, 1.8 rebounds and shot 32 percent from the field.

Basically, he stole that money.  Maybe not a smash and grab, but a theft nonetheless.  Think Enron, not stick up at the Kwik-E-Mart. 

Well, that’s how I view it now – at the time, I just thought it was a bad signing. But it is now apparent that Amaechi never intended on giving a full effort in exchange for paid wages.

First, he writes about his relationship with Sloan. "I respect the game of pro basketball. I just don't think it's all that important. I wasn't going to be embarrassed by Jerry Sloan because basketball had a proper role in my balanced life and I didn't blindly worship a game he made pretty much the entirety of his existence."

OK, so basketball wasn’t as important to him as it was to Sloan. At the time, many said he didn’t take it seriously at all, but we’ll give him a pass and take him at his word that he was just well-balanced.

Later he writes about his poor performance after his contract. It is interesting to see where he places the blame. He writes: “"Why does the performance of so many players decline after they sign multiyear guaranteed deals? It's a little thing called human nature. Plenty of guys - Karl Malone and John Stockton are the obvious examples - play hard no matter how much they make. Other guys lack the discipline. Predicting which player falls into which category is the key to scouting."

Later he continues: "The problem was not my commitment to the game. I was working as hard, with what I had, as anyone on the team. The truth is Sloan and Jazz management hadn't done their research - otherwise known as scouting. They could tell you all my court tendencies, how I played the game and why I should fit into the system. But they knew nothing of my character."

So let’s make sure I’m clear here – he admits he had the skills to fit into the Jazz system. But it is their fault that he was a failure because they didn’t know he was going that he was lazy, selfish and dishonest. And obviously Utah’s research should have uncovered that – it’s not Amaechi’s fault that he’s such an untrustworthy character. Sure, he puts in a throwaway line about working hard, but in the same breath he basically admits that his dropoff was due to lack of effort.

What kind of man blames the team for that and takes no responsibility? I’ll tell you who – a con man, a thief. Amaechi had no intentions of fulfilling his end of the contract but he took the money anyway.

Right now, many people are saying that Amaechi should be proud of coming out of the closet and for the things he wrote in his book. After reading a few excerpts, I think Amaechi shouldn’t be proud, he should be embarrassed.

*Statistics and excerpts from the book were taken from Steve Luhm, writer for The Salt Lake Tribune.

I wish …

… I could get inside Kobe’s head and find out the real reason he only took three shots in the second half o####ame 7.  I would look for that answer before I tried to find out what really happened in Colorado.

… we had better nicknames for pro athletes.  The only athletes with good nicknames are streetball players – “Future”, “Hot Sauce”, “Escalade”.  Can’t we have the announcers from the Rucker and AndOne Tour be roving P.A. announcers in every major sports arena until every top athlete is appropriately named?  Just a couple of decades ago, we used to have nicknames like Magic and Iceman. Now we have K.G. and T-Mac.  People just don’t have the same creativity any more.  Personally, I blame video games.   

… Jalen Rose would retire and become a full-time sideline reporter for TNT.  His interviews have been hysterical, not to mention the moment when Nick Van Exel threw towels on Jalen’s head.  Among all-time sideline reporting moments, it’s second only to Suzy Koelber and Joe Namath.  Also, Charles has already given Jalen a great nickname, “The Robot”.  Because that’s what he sounds like when he talks.    

… that the next time Greg Anthony is as visibly annoyed by Stephen A. Smith’s histrionics as he was on Saturday, he just kicks Stephen’s A. up and down 42nd Street.

… announcers would stop using the word “literally” – they obviously have no idea what it means.  The other day ESPN’s Mark Jackson (not the former player) said that Cuttino Mobley was “literally salivating about the opportunities he would have in this game.”  Just so everyone is clear, when Cuttino heard the game plan, his body immediately started producing large amounts of saliva.  Every time a broadcaster says something like that, it literally makes my ears bleed.

… that I was friends with Kenny and Charles.  I know it’s pathetic to for a grown man to wish he was friends with other grown men, but it’s the truth.  And it’s not because they’re famous, either, because I can honestly say I don’t wish I was friends with Tiger Woods or Tom Brady.  And it’s not because I don’t have any friends, either, because I do.  They’re just not as good as Kenny and Charles.

… ESPN would stop giving us updates every 30 minutes on Barry Bonds.  If he ties Babe Ruth, fine, tell us.  But you don’t need to break in to show us that Barry can’t catch up to a fastball of a pitcher who was in Double-A a year ago. 

… I knew why Bonds’ bat speed has slowed down so much.  Hahahahaha.

... someone would tell Nowitzki that when Tony Parker switches on to him, you go to the low block, not float around at the top of the key.  This is the NBA playoffs, not the European league.  

… the networks could hype up the Red Sox-Yankees rivalry a little more.  After all, it’s the best rivalry in sports.  And we’re already in May.  Seriously, it’s really interesting to all of us that aren’t Boston or New York fans. 

… I had the option of watching a “silent game”, as NBA TV did a month ago.  No announcers, just mics that captured the sound of the players and the crowd.  It was fannnntastic.  I’d use that for every game that Hubie Brown and Doug Collins weren’t broadcasting.

… that just once, both Mark Prior and Kerry Wood are healthy for an entire year.  Just once.

… the best of luck to everyone participating in NGS II.  I’m not doing it, but I hear it’s a lot of fun.

I know I'm one of the only people in the country who still gets excited about the NBA All-Star Saturday competitions, but I think they're so entertaining.  Here are some of my favorite moments from Saturday night’s events.  All times are MST.  

 

6:42 – Walter McCarty is singing the National Anthem, even throwing in random riffs where he scales up and down with no rhyme or reason like those people who audition for American Idol.  He is better than I expected, which is to say he's not a train wreck.  Needless to say, I am wildly disappointed.

 

6:47 – The first event is the Shooting Stars competition, where a current NBA player, a WNBA player and a retired player shoot from different spots on the floor.  Mercifully, they made this a one-round competition this year.  Tony Parker and Kobe Bryant make the half-court shot on the first try.

 

6:48 – The Los Angeles team comes out and Magic Johnson has abandoned the form-fitting jersey he wore last year and actually has a larger one that fits.  First, McCarty doesn’t bomb and now Magic doesn’t look like Oliver Miller any more.  It’s not looking too good so far, I’m concerned I’m not going to have any fun tonight.

 

6:48 – Kevin Harlan talks about a heart-warming story of how Kobe befriended a young boy who was a Katrina victim.  Pretty transparent, I think Kobe’s PR team needs to start working a little harder than that.  

 

6:58 – They show Eva Longoria for the 7^th time after San Antonio wins the shoot-out.  I know that everyone over 40 in the media can’t get enough of her, but personally I can’t wait for Tony Parker to dump her.  Right after Katie leaves Tom, I’m focusing all my psychic powers on this couple.

 

7:19 – Dwayne Wade wins the skills competition. 

 

7:29 – Charles tells Kevin Harlan that when he offers him some Altoids, he really means it.  Although Charles is joking around, you can tell that he's also serious.  It's really the only way to tell someone that he has bad breath.

 

7:30 – The three-point contest is about to start.  Ray Allen has to be the favorite, with Dirk Nowitzki second.  None of these other guys are true shooters. 

 

7:42 – Tyronne Lue looks genuinely distraught that Chauncey Billups doesn’t make the finals.  Like really, really upset. 

 

7:53 – Mark Cuban cheers as Nowitzki wins.  Cuban is also wearing a headset (like a television headset, not a phone headset) for some reason.  If you saw any other owner wearing a headset, it might strike you as odd.  But since it’s Cuban, it seems perfectly normal. 

 

8:00 – Andrea Bocelli, the opera singer, performs a song.  In Italian.  I don’t know why everyone thinks the NBA is trying to distance itself from its hip-hop image. 

 

8:01 – On one of the pictures they are running in the background during Bocelli’s song, Ricky Davis is wearing a balloon hat on his head.

 

8:03 – While HDTV is great, there are definitely drawbacks.  One of those is being able to see hair hanging out of Bocelli’s nose in great detail.  I know he’s blind so I can’t hold him responsible for not trimming it before he appeared on national television, but his personal assistant should be fired. 

 

8:04 – TNT viewers vote Michael Jordan’s leaner dunk is voted as the best dunk of all time over Vince Carter’s between-the-legs slam.  Unfortunately, Kenny screwed up because he didn’t listen to Charles and didn’t originally include Carter’s 360 windmill jam instead of the between-the-legs dunk.  That is the best dunk of all time.  Sorry, I know that there is no way people are going to vote for Vince over MJ in any sort of competition, but that’s the truth.  Actually, that’s just the best dunk in the slam dunk competition.  The best of all time is also Carter’s – when he jumped over that 7-footer in the Olympics.  This cannot be argued, it is an absolute fact. 

 

8:05 – The dunk contest begins!  Personally, I love the competition, even though people always say everything has already been done, which I completely disagree with.  Think of Josh Smith last year or Jason Richardson a few of years ago.  Quick story: When I was in college, Brent Barry won the slam dunk contest.  One of my friends, who is white, was in a complete tizzy because a white boy was going to win the competition.  After it was over, he turned to me and said: “YES! IN YOUR FACE!”  For the record, I am not African-American, I am Asian.  But I guess I was the closest thing in the room.

 

8:14 – Josh Smith puts some tape on the floor, which is about three feet above the free throw line.  Everyone starts getting a little worked up, expecting something that we've never seen before.  Then Smith runs past the tape and takes off about a foot inside the free throw line.  It actually wasn’t a bad dunk, but he gets the lowest score because everyone was expecting him to jump from further away.  Talk about over-promise and under-deliver.  It’s like a buddy promising to throw the greatest bachelor party ever, and then holding it in Reno. 

 

8:18 – Magic says that once Las Vegas holds the All-Star game next year and shows that they can handle the “bedding situation”, they will likely get an NBA franchise.  I think Magic Johnson is the only person in the world who thinks the reason that Vegas doesn’t have an NBA team is because they don’t have enough hotels.  

 

8:20 – Andre Iguadola completes a ridiculous dunk from off of the backside of backboard.  He actually hit his head on the backboard the first time he tried it.  I think we might need to take a new vote on the best dunk of all time. 

 

8:25 – We’ve completed the first round and we still haven’t had the obligatory shot of Shaq falling all over people after an incredible dunk.  We better get a picture of this in the finals, people, it’s not a dunk contest unless we see it.

 

8:28 – Nate Robinson is interviewed and he sounds like a 14-year-old boy.  So maybe he will still hit that growth spurt.

 

8:30 – Uh, oh, Robinson has missed his fifth dunk in a row and everyone is having Birdman flashbacks.

 

8:31 – He finally did it on his 8^th try and it’s a good dunk.  Last year, everyone was laughing at the Birdman.  This year, everyone feels relieved and happy.  There’s a lesson here: People will always root for the little guy, and laugh at the goofy, lanky guy who is on acid. 

 

8:34 – Shot of Damon Jones in a bright red jacket – apparently he broke into Craig Sager’s closet.  He’s also not sitting in Shaq’s lap so I have a bad feeling that the Diesel may not be present.  I know he was here earlier, but I’m worried he left.

 

8:36 – Nate jumps over Spud Webb.  Absolutely awesome. 

 

8:36 – We finally get to see a picture of the players falling over each other and running on the court.  Shaq isn’t in the picture.  It doesn’t feel right, but I guess we all just have to move on. 

 

8:37 – Magic keeps saying that “The dunk contest is back!”  Whatever, he said the same thing last year when Josh Smith won.

 

8:40 – Iguadola completes his dunk.  It’s pretty marginal.  Kenny isn’t sure what to give him so he looks over at the other judges’ scores and then puts up an 8.  It ends up being a tie so there is a dunk-off, and Kenny is absolutely ecstatic.  Honestly, I think Kenny was trying to offset the other 9’s he saw next to him and hoping for a tie.  It worked and I couldn’t be happier.

 

8:53 – Nate has just missed his 10^th try at the halfcourt dunk and guess who they show?  Shaq.  That’s right, he’s been here the whole time.  He’s standing next to Terrell Owens who is wearing a matching hat -- there must have been a 2 for 1 special.  We’ve seen Eva Longoria 17 times tonight before we finally get another shot of Shaq?  After we fire Andrea Bocelli’s personal grooming assistant, the TNT producer is next. 

 

 8:54 – After Robinson misses his 11^th try, Magic just said that Nate has done a great job for every little person in America.  I didn’t realize he was working for us.  Apparently Magic wasn’t satisfied with the absurdity of his Vegas hotels comment.

 

8:55 – Robinson completes it after his 16^th try (by my count, not TNT’s).  The dunk contest has officially become an endurance contest.

 

8:55 – He gets a 47.  The score is way too high.

 

8:57 – Iguadola dunks and only gets a 46.  A.I. has been the best dunker throughout the night and he loses.  Seriously, they need to limit the number of attempts.  It took Robinson over 30 attempts to get down five dunks.  I thought he was phenomenal and I always root for the little guy, but that was a little ridiculous.

 

8:58 – The crowd is obviously disappointed with the result and the excitement that was in the building a few moments before is gone.  Cheryl Miller attempts to pump up the crowd by repeatedly saying: "C'mon on, y'all saw a show tonight!"  A few hundred people clap half-heartedly.  Just so we're clear, that is the proper response to Cheryl Miller under any circumstance.

 

8:59 – Cheryl asks Nate if he was getting tired.  He responds by saying that although he made it look easy, it was actually pretty tough.  Um, actually, it didn't look that easy.  It actually looked really, really difficult.  And exhausting.

 

Although the ending of the dunk contest seemed a bit anti-climatic, overall it was an entertaining Saturday event.  Looking forward to tomorrow. 

            While I think Mike Holmgren is a pretty solid coach, I’ve always felt he was a bit overrated (before the Super Bowl, one of the common stories was about the tremendous job Holmgren has done since he gave up personnel responsibilities).  Sunday’s performance did nothing to change my mind. 

            But after I recently read about Holmgren’s motivational techniques, my opinion of him dropped another couple of notches.  Apparently, in an attempt to inspire his players, Holmgren showed the team $73,000 – the winner's share – in $1 bills the Saturday night before the Super Bowl, according to The New York Post.  The loser’s share is $38,000.

            Does this make sense to anyone?  This just seems absolutely insane to me.  Maybe I’m overreacting, but I can’t stop thinking that Holmgren is completely out of touch with reality.  These players are facing the biggest game of their lives, they’re already millionaires and can make history by bringing the first championship to Seattle – and Holmgren thinks that the extra $35,000 (the difference between the winning and losing) is the most important factor to the players.   

            The weird part is that Holmgren has won a championship before with the Green Bay Packers, so you would think he would make decisions based on past experience.  I’m trying to imagine Brett Favre, Antonio Freeman and LeRoy Butler sitting in the locker room, all of them smoking cigars and celebrating the fact that they were now $73,000 richer.  Granted, I wasn’t there, but I have a hard time believing that’s what happened.      

            Initially, I thought maybe Holmgren just didn’t give much thought to his speech so it turned out lame.  But that can’t be it – think about the effort it would take to get $73,000 in $1 bills on a Saturday.  You obviously just can’t do on the spur of the moment – a likely scenario is that he came up with the idea on Thursday, had someone get the money on Friday and then gave the speech on Saturday.  So even after three days, this still seemed like a good idea to Holmgren. 

            If I was a Seahawks fan, I would be concerned.  It’s not that I think the motivational speech is important because I think a lot of the rah-rah stuff is forgotten as soon as the game starts.  It’s just that it shows an amazing lack of common sense by the head coach who is supposed to lead your team to the promised land.  When you think about it, are you surprised that this man couldn’t figure out how to manage the clock (kick the field goal!) at the end of the game?        

            Um, that’s it.  Just wanted to let everyone know that Holmgren might be delusional.  

***********************************************<
/p>

             Last note on the Super Bowl: After the big game, I typically feel a little bummed out that football season is over.  But after all the whining from Seattle fans and the ridiculous rants of Pittsburgh fans, I’m sick of football.  I just want it to go away.  It’s like when I have a bad round of golf, I don’t care if I play for another month.  So thank you, Seahawks and Steelers fans, for providing such an excruciating experience – it is much easier to move on now.    

 

 

Did the NFL fix the Super Bowl? No, the refs were just horrible. 

I don't believe in the conspiracy theories because of one principle: risk/reward.  Bottom line: the risk of fixing games by the league is far too great.  If the NFL was caught doing that, it would be the greatest scandal in sports history and could cripple the league for years.  Do you think the league would risk all that just so that Jerome Bettis could win a championship?  Or just because Pittsburgh makes a better story?  No way, it’s not worth it. 

Trust me, as a Utah Jazz fan who watched Michael Jordan get all the calls in the playoffs, I've given it a lot of thought. 

*************************************

Did the refs cost the Seahawks the game?  Sort of.  Yes, it's true that great teams can overcome bad calls and Seattle didn't -- they're not a great team.  But neither is Pittsburgh.  If there were phantom penalties on the Willie Parker run and the pass play that set up the first Steelers’ touchdown, Pittsburgh doesn't win either. 

Seattle fans shouldn't complain because the Seahawks still had their chances to win it.  But Pittsburgh fans shouldn't be gloating, either, because the Steelers were flat-out lucky.  Just celebrate the title and thank your lucky stars that the officials had a Peyton Manning-like meltdown on the big stage, but don’t try to tell us that Pittsburgh was the better team on Sunday.  The only people who think that the penalty calls on the Seahawks were legitimate are Pittsburgh Steelers’ fans or people who thought the halftime show was great – either way, they’re both delusional.

*************************************

Does anything scream rock ‘n roll more than a 62-year-old man doing Jazzercise moves in a belly shirt?  I think not. 

*************************************

Why were all the people around the stage during the show wearing bright, neon-#### shirts?  It looked like a Wham! concert. 

*************************************

What was the deal with Al Michaels making a random Lake Placid reference at the start of the game?  “Do you believe in miracles? Yes!”  Yeah, yeah, you made a great call, Al.   But seriously, you’re probably been congratulated on that at least a million times.  You were even in the movie.  Do you really need to remind us again that you were there?

 

This was originally part of an article I wrote for the finalist competition about Super Bowl halftime shows.  Since this really got off the topic, I cut it out.  I recently found out the name of this act is Big Rich or something like that.  For some reason, I've noticed people have been talking about them in their comments to various blogs so this is my contribution to that discussion.  I wrote this before I saw any of those comments.

Unfortunately, football was not the only sport that was affected by the Janet Jackson fiasco.  At last year’s NBA All-Star Game, they had a country singer perform with a rapping cowboy.  If you didn’t see it, it was even worse than it sounds.  At first glance I thought the rapping cowboy was Karl Malone (that is the honest truth, no joke).  But then I realized he was using correct grammar so it obviously couldn’t be the Mailman.  It was weird – you never hear someone rap using proper English while clearly annunciating each word (except for in local radio commercials and Will Smith videos). 

Meanwhile, Jay-Z and Nelly were sitting courtside while this was all taking place.  Unfortunately, the cameras didn’t show them but I imagine they would have looked like Pete Carroll after the Reggie Bush lateral.  Too bad 50 Cent wasn't there because I have never seen a brawl with gangsters and cowboys before.  In this case, the gangsters would obviously be favored, but if they were real cowboys who rode horses and chewed tobacco, I'd have to give the edge to the cowboys (assuming it was just a fistfight, no guns allowed).  It would be close, though. 

Then to top off the show, a little person came out and started dancing around in a cowboy hat and chaps.  What?  People are protesting dwarf-tossing but they let this go?  Is there a single person who wouldn’t rather be thrown 30 feet in the air than be forced to prance around on stage with a country singer and rapping cowboy in front of millions of people?  Seriously, we need to get our priorities straight, people.

The topper came after the show, when Charles Barkley said: “I hope whoever was in charge of the Halftime show is getting their resume ready.” 

Amen, Charles, amen.

Since it seems like it's becoming customary for eliminated finalists to write something after being kicked to the curb, I guess I'll do the same.  Personally, the awkward interview with the losing team is one of my favorite things in sports because you never know what they're going to say (see Matt Leinart: "I still think we're the better team" or Peyton Manning's "I'm trying to be a good teammate here")  If you're lucky, I'll say something completely obnoxious, too.

I just wanted to thank everyone who took the time to read my posts and voted for me (well, those who gave me more than 2.88 stars).  It was fun to write again and hear from readers.

I haven't been able to participate in the community as much as I would have liked to since my life has been pretty busy lately (moving to a new state, new job, buying a house and expecting a first child in the next couple of weeks) but, as things settle down, I look forward to reading many of the blogs here.

I especially look forward to reading the work of those who have left such nice comments in the past.  I have really appreciated those comments.  When your friends and family compliment your work, you're never sure if its just because they're, well, your family and friends.  To have complete strangers take time to write something positive is a great feeling.

 Thanks to the NGS judges for giving me an opportunity to compete in this contest.

            I’ve always loved the Super Bowl, but there are definitely some ways to make it better.  If I could, these are first three things that I would change.    

Designate Las Vegas as the Permanent Super Bowl Site 

I’ve had many in-depth discussions about this, and, honestly, I’m still a little torn.  There is a spiteful part of me that loves that the Super Bowl is in Detroit.  Heck, I kind of wish it rotated between Detroit, Green Bay, and Duluth just so I knew I wasn’t missing anything by not being there. 

In the end, however, I’ve decided that the Super Bowl needs to be in Las Vegas every year – ultimately, it just makes too much sense. 

First of all, more than anything, the Super Bowl is a two-week party.  Obviously, there is no other city better equipped for a bash that lasts half a month.  People would go to Las Vegas just to be part of the festivities, even if they couldn’t get into the game.  When was the last time you heard of someone going to Detroit just to party?

Second, the players’ ability to handle Vegas becomes a story in its own right.  It is probably the only storyline that could hold fans’ attention for two weeks.  The drama that could potentially unfold each day would be mesmerizing.  In addition to a daily injury report, they would need to create a Las Vegas report: Owens – jailed for solicitation; Lewis – missing, last seen at Cheetah’s. 

Then factor in the potential effects of all the wild parties – inebriated players showing up to interview day; rampant dehydration during the game; the first time a player misses the Super Bowl because he simply couldn’t get out of bed – the possibilities are endless.

For example, think about the 1985 Chicago Bears, a team that everyone knew would crush the Patriots.  Now imagine if they had to spend two weeks in Vegas – it would have changed the entire complexion of that game.  How do you handicap that game when you know Jim McMahon is going to get a total of 13 hours of sleep in the final week? 

Of course, none of the above scenarios would apply to today’s Patriots since Belichick would just fly his players back to Utah every night.

The third reason to hold the Super Bowl in Vegas is because everyone in the stadium would have money on the game.  You know how much fun it is to be in the sports book with a couple hundred people on an NFL weekend?  Imagine being with 70,000 people who are betting the over/under.  You could have a 28-7 blowout in the 4th quarter and every fan would still be at the edge of his seat to see if his $100 on the 42.5 over was going to pay off.  The atmosphere would be absolutely electric. 

Lastly, on the night after the game, you have roughly 50 NFL players who have just won the Super Bowl and another 50 who just experienced the greatest disappointment in their lives.  And they are all in Vegas.  We could reach unprecedented levels of mayhem.  The report of this night would easily be the most anticipated story coming out of Super Bowl weekend.

I know what some people are going to say about this idea.  The NFL will never go for it.  The networks and sponsors will never go for it.  Even the Vegas casinos might not go for it (do you want your rooms filled with high rollers or the sports writer for the Cleveland Plain Dealer?).  But you know something, if they don’t like it, they can get their own blog.  Because around here, we’re going to Vegas, baby, Vegas. 

 

Allot More Tickets to the Real Fans

            One of the great sights of this year’s Rose Bowl was seeing half of the stadium dressed in Texas Burnt Orange and the other half in USC Cardinal and Gold.  But at the Super Bowl, the stands won’t be brimming with Steelers’ Black and Gold on one side and Seahawks’ aqua-blue puke color on the other.  

That’s because each team is allotted only 17.5 percent of the Super Bowl tickets, or a little less than 11,500 passes.  After all the mothers of the players’ children are given their tickets, there’s only around 8,500 seats left for the fans. 

The rest of the tickets are divvied up among other teams in the league and the NFL.  Most of these tickets are used for corporate sponsors and Mike Tice’s retirement fund.

Last year, USA Today reported that the median income for those who attended the Super Bowl was $125,000. So if you are looking for another reason to hate rich people, here it is – they’re at the Super Bowl and you aren’t.  (Of course, I probably shouldn’t encourage people to hate anyone, but the Internet is a place to rail against things that you find unjust, like rich people or Keanu Reeves’ career.  I also think it’s OK since rich people have their own place to degrade poor people – it’s called a country club.)

I realize that most people at the game are probably football fans.  But few of them have strong loyalties to either team – most are just rooting to see a good game.  While there’s nothing wrong with that (I would be the same way), it doesn’t lend itself to a particularly electric atmosphere.

It’s a little like when the NBA plays an exhibition game in Japan.  All the fans are excited and they’re cheering every play, but they couldn’t care less who wins the game.  It may be a fun atmosphere, but it doesn’t have the same intensity of a home crowd rooting on their team. 

            Obviously, there will always be a substantial number of corporate tickets, but it seems like the NFL should be able to release a few more thousand tickets to the diehard fans.  There are grown adults who paint their faces and bodies to show support for their team – just throw them another bone.  While I don’t understand them and, quite frankly, find them a little frightening, these people deserve to be at the game more than another suit. 

 

Musicians Who are Eligible for Social Security Cannot Perform at Halftime

            During the furor that immediately followed Janet Jackson’s wardrobe malfunction, I remember thinking that the controversy would soon pass and it would become nothing more than a funny Super Bowl memory.  Of course, as usual, I was dead wrong. 

            One of my friends has called it the worst non-terrorism event in this country over the last 15 years.  He has three reasons: (1) It ruined any fantasies that he had about Janet Jackson, (2) It set off a chain of events that led to Howard Stern leaving free radio and (3) On a subconscious level, he is now disappointed any time he turns on the TV and doesn’t see nudity.

            You may or may not agree with him on those points.  But I will give you one more reason that he may be right: Halftime entertainment is becoming an absolute abomination. 

            As a result of Janet and Justin’s fiasco, one of last year’s requirements apparently was a musician who was not only uncontroversial, but also had the ability to suck the life out of a stadium full of people.  I present to you Paul McCartney. 

Don’t get me wrong, McCartney is an incredible musician able to put on amazing shows, during the Nixon administration.  I would say more about McCartney’s performance but I can’t – I feel too guilty knowing that I am ridiculing someone’s great-grandfather.  It would be no different than if I went to the local retirement center and teased the residents for having false teeth and artificial hips.

I was willing to give the NFL a pass since it was only a year after the Janet Jackson incident.  But now it’s time to move on – unfortunately, it’s clear that the NFL still hasn’t.

That’s why this year the Rolling Stones are performing at halftime.  I’m not exactly sure which target audience the NFL is trying to reach, but I’m pretty sure that most of them are dead.

Honestly, it’s a little sad to see how the Rolling Stones have sold out.  These guys were groundbreaking, rule breaking, and generally awesome in their heyday.  But now?  Well, now they’re sticking it to the man through multi-million dollar corporate sponsorships and $250 concert tickets.

I realize I run the risk of offending people who are Rolling Stones’ fans, so I just want to say two things to those people.  First, it isn’t that the Rolling Stones are a bad band – they’re one of the all-time greats.  They’re just not right for the Super Bowl, that’s all.  Second, who printed this story out for you?  Because I know you don’t know how to turn on the computer by yourself.

            To be completely honest, Super Bowl halftime shows have never been extremely entertaining.  There have been a few exceptions, such as U2’s performance.  I also enjoyed the years when the league copied the MTV Music Awards’ idea of pairing odd couples during presentations, like Mandy Moore and Marilyn Manson (undoubtedly one of the three most frightening experiences of Mandy’s young life, but if I’m honest, it would be in my top three, too). 

The only difference is that the NFL made the musicians actually perform together, which was a genius.  My favorite was Shania Twain, No Doubt and Sting.  The music wasn’t that great, but it was bizarre, which is a pretty good substitute for real entertainment.  

            I miss those days.  Again, halftime shows were never first-rate, but they were at least tolerable.  That’s all I’m looking for – a return to mediocrity.  Honestly, it would be a major step up.

 

 

 

 

For many football fans, the Super Bowl is reminiscent of Christmas as a child – waiting for the big day takes an eternity and when it finally does come, sometimes you find yourself thinking: “Is that it?”

This year the former will hold true – there is a two-week break between the Super Bowl and the conference championship games.  And if history serves as a future indicator, there is a good chance that fans will be disappointed Christmas morning, too. 

In the past 25 years, 19 Super Bowls have been played two weeks after the conference championship games.  In those games, the average margin of victory is 19 points.  Compare that to only an 11-point differential in games played with one week of rest. 

It should be noted that the last two Super Bowls have been decided by three points after a two-week layoff, so a longer break obviously doesn’t necessarily mean a bad game.  But when you look at the number of competitive games (decided by 10 points or less) over the years, it is clear that the last two contests have been unusual.  Only six of the 19 games with a two-week rest have been competitive, compared to four out of the six games following a one-week break.

While this small sample size wouldn’t be valid for any respectable statistician, the results make sense.  Even under normal circumstances, an extra week off can lead to teams getting a little out of sync.  During Super Bowl Week(s), the players are on a much bigger stage and can’t follow their normal routines.  Increase the amount of time they are exposed to intense media scrutiny, social obligations and other off-the-field distractions, and you increase the likelihood they don’t perform to their usual levels on game day.  Even if you don't believe in the statistics, it would be difficult to argue that a longer break produces better games.       

So if a shorter wait translates into a better game and happier fans, why doesn’t the NFL change it to one week?  Well, like many things in life, the decision is driven by money.

Specifically, the networks believe that more time spent promoting the Super Bowl translates into more viewers.  Higher ratings, of course, allow networks to charge advertisers more the following year.  This year companies are paying $2.5 million for a 30-second commercial, according to Reuters.

“People like to complain about the hype and the delay,” said Sean McManus, president of CBS Sports, before last year’s Super Bowl. “But from our standpoint, all it does is build interest and build excitement. That’s the way it should be.” 

McManus’ viewpoint has been echoed by other TV executives as well.

“The Super Bowl is a national holiday,” Neal Tile, executive vice-president of marketing for Fox Sports, told the Associated Press last year. “Think of it as shaking a bottle of soda. The more you shake it – two weeks versus one – the bigger the pop.”

Although network executives may believe that a two-week buildup leads to more viewers, past results do not support that view.  Since 1990, the television ratings are virtually identical for games played with two-week and one-week breaks, 42.5 and 42.3, respectively.  (The 1990-2005 period is used to capture the impact of other media, such as cable television, on the ratings.)

In fact, there are indications that a one-week rest may even be better for attracting viewers.  In four of the five years with a shorter break, there was an increase in ratings compared to the prior year.  That happened in only four of the 11 years with a two-week wait.

Not surprisingly, the most important factor in television ratings appears to be the quality of the game.  In games decided by 10 points or less, the average rating was 43.3.  Compare that to a 41.7 television rating for the other games.  That is a significant difference when you consider that would convert into almost 2 million more households this year.

Given those results, it seems obvious that the networks’ greatest desire should be to broadcast a competitive game.  As discussed earlier, history indicates that there may be a relationship between a one-week waiting period and a tight contest.   At the very least, there is nothing that suggests that a longer break is conducive to better games.  So in a worst-case scenario, networks may actually be losing money due to their insistence of a two-week break.  Best case, they're needlessly torturing fans an extra week. 

In 2004, when the New England Patriots narrowly won 32-29 over the Carolina Panthers, the game grabbed the highest TV rating for a Super Bowl in six years. 

“This proves once again it doesn't really matter who the teams are in the Super Bowl,” McManus told USA Today after the game. “What matters is how competitive and exciting the game is in the closing stages.”

Although McManus recognized the importance of having a close game, it was the following year that he cited the value of having a two-week break before a Super Bowl.  Unfortunately, the networks don’t seem to realize that you are usually going to get one or the other, not both.   

Hopefully, the networks will soon realize the benefits of a shorter break and reduce the waiting period to one week.  The best part is they don’t have to do it simply for the fans’ sakes – they can just do it for the money.  Either way, it is a move that would benefit the fans and networks alike.    

·        Which would embarrass you more if you were Mike Vanderjagt last Sunday: missing the game-tying kick or being seen on national television wearing that tiny, diamond stud earring?

·        After Alex Rodriguez committed to playing for the United States, he said: “I appreciate the support and understanding of my fellow Dominican players and friends who aided me in making this decision.”  After the Dominican players assured him that it would be OK to play for the U.S. and Rodriguez made his decision, who else thinks that those players immediately started giggling and giving each other high fives?

·        On Inside the NFL, they showed Steve Smith before last week’s game saying to a Chicago player: “Leave me on the island with him so I can torch his #$!%!”  Afterward, Cris Collinsworth correctly observed that Chicago lost this game because of their “arrogance” – they refused to come out of their Cover 2 defense and give Smith more attention.  There’s no reason for Seattle not to double team Smith every play – if Ricky Proehl ends up beating you, so be it.

·        Don’t you hate it when you watch PTI and realize that either Kornheiser or Wilbon aren’t on the show that day?  It’s almost as bad as watching TNT’s Inside the NBA and realizing they let Magic on the set again.  I realize that no one wants to be the person to tell Magic that he’s not welcome any more, so can’t they just stop sending him a paycheck like they did to that mumbling guy on “Office Space” and see if he gets the hint?

·        One of the most intriguing parts of the Colts game was when Peyton Manning waved off the punt team so he could go for it on 4^th down.  I actually felt sorry for Dungy when I saw his face after that happened.   But think of some of the current coaches with a Super Bowl ring – Belichick, Gruden, Billick, Shanahan, Holmgren, Gibbs, Parcells – I can’t imagine any of them letting their quarterback do that.      

·        When Theo Epstein walked back into the Red Sox offices, did everyone stand up and do the slow clap?

·        You’ve probably heard that someone vandalized the house of Pete Morelli, the official who overturned Troy Polamalu’s interception.  I thought the most interesting part of the story was that they weren’t sure if it was related to the call, or because Morelli is a high school principal.  I guess Morelli wasn’t receiving enough abuse at school so he decided to become an NFL referee, too.  Personally, I would have just chosen to be an IRS agent – just as many people hate you, but you only have to work one job and your weekends are free.  Of course, I’m a little lazy.       

·        I’m a Utah Jazz fan so I hope I’m wrong, but I have a feeling that 20 years from now I’ll still be talking about the time the Jazz passed on drafting Chris Paul.

·        If they ever mike up NBA players during the games like they do in the NFL, it would be a travesty if they didn’t include Dikembe Mutombo and Yao Ming talking with each other. 

·        According to Lamar Odom, Kobe Bryant always says: “I never liked Mike (Jordan) growing up.”  If Kobe was ever in a trial again and I was the prosecuting attorney, I would break this quote out.  There’s no way a jury would believe a single word Kobe said after that.    

 

This week's finalist assignment was about my favorite football memory -- I  chose my favorite NFL moment.

I grew up in a town that didn't have an NFL team.  It was just one of the many crosses that I would have to silently bear in this life.   It wasn't easy growing up, but I would force myself to get out of bed each morning and tell myself that one day I would move to a city that had an NFL franchise.  

Until that day finally came, I found other ways to cope.  Since I didn't have ties to any particular team, I would root for the teams that had local college players on their roster.  The two players that I followed most earnestly were Scott Mitchell (University of Utah) and Steve Young (Brigham Young University).

Not to ruin the ending, but my favorite football moment doesn't have anything to do with Scott Mitchell.   In fact, if I were to highlight my five worst football memories, Mitchell would be in three of them – choosing to root for him remains one of the worst decisions of my life. 

I won’t go into the details of the Detroit Lions years and the complexity of rooting for a player who you slowly come to despise, but after Mitchell left and Barry Sanders retired, I felt like I could wash my hands of the Lions.  Today I feel like someone who escaped from a POW camp – I am grateful that I am free, but I weep for those I left behind. 

Actually, for a long time it wasn’t much easier rooting for Young.  When he was ready to leave college, I was excited to finally have an NFL team to call my own.  Projected to be the top pick in the NFL draft, Young instead decided to play for the Los Angeles Express of the USFL.  Of course he did. 

            So not only did I still not have a favorite NFL team, I had to follow a franchise that I was certain would be extinct in a few years (I was 11 years old at the time – why I was able to figure this out and Steve Young could not is still a mystery to me).  The low point came when the team actually played Young at running back because they had so many injuries to their backfield.

            Thankfully, the league’s demise came two years later and Young could finally play for a real, bona fide NFL team.  Well, sort of – he was picked in the supplemental draft by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.  It was like the NFL was retaliating against Young for spurning the league a couple of years earlier.  Or God was punishing me for something I had done – it was hard to be sure.           

While Young was with Tampa Bay, I saw him play exactly zero times.  Surprisingly, the networks weren’t interested in broadcasting Buccaneers’ games nationally so I never even saw my new favorite team.  Of course, that probably wasn’t a bad thing.  The only time I saw the Buccaneers were during the game “highlights” shown on the local newscasts, which typically consisted of receivers dropping balls and Young running for dear life. 

            After two years, Young was dealt to the San Francisco 49ers.  In retrospect, it was an event that might have saved my life – I’m not sure I could have recovered from the psychological damage that would be caused by voluntarily cheering for both the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Detroit Lions during my formative years. 

            However, San Francisco presented its own set of problems – namely, Young would be backing up the greatest quarterback of all time.  During the next four years that Young languished on the bench, I half-heartedly cheered for the 49ers to win each week while mostly hoping that Joe Montana would throw four interceptions that day or, if I was feeling particularly mean-spirited, wishing that he would go the way of Joe Theismann.  My ill feelings toward Montana only grew stronger as I heard stories, true or not, about the different ways that Montana intentionally snubbed Young.

            Throughout it all, Young was the consummate teammate – he always denied a rift between him and Montana, and he never lobbied for a trade.  In other words, he did exactly the opposite of what I hoped he would do.

            Finally, in 1991 after an injury to Montana, Young got his chance to be the starter on a real NFL team.  It had been eight years since he left college.  EIGHT YEARS!  Most players’ careers don’t even last that long, but here Young was, for all intents and purposes, just beginning his career. 

            During his first few seasons, Young set passing records and became a league MVP.  Despite these accomplishments, there were many 49ers fans who questioned if he could lead San Francisco to a Super Bowl win, especially after losing two years in a row to the Dallas Cowboys in the playoffs.  And of course, the comparisons to Montana lingered – if there was one thing that Young was guilty of, it was that he was not Joe Montana.

            Personally, I believed Young could win a Super Bowl, but I often wondered what it would mean if he didn’t.  He didn’t get the starting role for the 49ers until he was almost 30 years old, possibly spending the prime of his career on the bench.  One of the reasons he waited was because he really wanted to win a championship as a 49er (as a starter, not a backup).  Now he was 33 years old and most likely his window of opportunity was closing.  If he didn’t win a championship, were those years standing on the sidelines a waste?

Fortunately, the question became moot as Young proved he could win the big game in 1994.  After having another MVP season and setting an NFL record for the highest passer rating, Young led the 49ers over the Cowboys in the NFC Championship game. 

In the Super Bowl, Young had an outstanding performance – he passed for 325 yards and a Super Bowl record six touchdowns (breaking Montana’s record), while also rushing for 49 yards.  Young was named MVP of the game as the 49ers trounced the San Diego Chargers 49-26.  

  That remains my favorite NFL football memory.  Excuse me if I don’t go into more details of the game but, honestly, they really weren’t that important to me.  What was important was this player who I had followed for 10 difficult years realized the ultimate achievement of winning a championship and having one of his greatest games on football’s largest stage.

In that moment, everything was worth it – all the painful years in the USFL, in NFL’s Siberia and on the bench – it was all worth it.  Am I talking about Young or myself?  Well, both.  One win probably shouldn’t be so important that it can validate an entire career, but in this case I think that’s the truth.  The championship validated Young’s place in history, and it vindicated my loyalty to him.

I will share one specific detail about the game.  It’s a scene that I’ve seen numerous times on NFL Films, where Young is standing on the sidelines after the game is well in hand.  He is cherishing the win, then turns his back and says something like: “Can somebody finally take this #### off my back?” and a teammate pulls off the imaginary ####.

Since then I have heard Young say that was the one thing he regretted doing that day.  Personally, I love that moment.  For years, Young always said that he never felt the pressure of following Montana.  He did that because he always said the right thing – it might not be how he really felt, but he always said what was best for the team.  That’s why I love that moment so much – it was honest.  One of the great things about watching players win a championship is that you get to see their true feelings.  Their emotions are raw and they are unable to put up fronts that hide the truth. 

You remember the scene where Michael Jordan is laying on the floor, clutching the trophy while weeping after winning the NBA Championship?  It was a moment of vulnerability that you rarely, if ever, saw with Jordan.  It was the same with Young.  The scene on the sideline spoke volumes about the pressures that Young was under, and the joy and relief that came with winning a championship.   

Today, my NFL loyalties are more stable.  My childhood dream was fulfilled and I moved to a city with an NFL franchise (Chicago).  Just in time, too, or else I might have made the decision to put a stake in Alex Smith, which could have been a Scott Mitchell-like disaster. 

Of course, I’m probably too old and jaded to follow a player’s career in the same earnest manner as I once did.  That is why another player will probably never cause me as much grief as Mitchell and Young did.  And it is also the reason why my favorite NFL memory will likely never change. 

 

If you want to read the first part of this article that explains the criteria for this list as well as #6-#10 entries, click here.

5. Ricky Williams

            Williams has always been a bit different, such as not talking much to teammates, only doing interviews with his helmet on, and wearing a wedding dress for a magazine photo shoot.  These are things that didn’t scream crazy, but just a little odd.

            Then he decided to leave the NFL so he could smoke pot.  Hey, if it’s that important to him, who am I to judge?  But I always thought the craziest part was that he felt he had to quit football in order to smoke weed.  Since when did they become mutually exclusive?  If he hadn’t learned from one of his teammates how to get around the drug test, he really must be a loner.  Where was his agent?  Couldn’t he have arranged a conference call with one of the Portland Trailblazers so they could explain to Ricky how the system worked?

            Look, I would be the last person to endorse marijuana use.  But it is what it is – pro athletes smoke marijuana.  In fact, I guarantee that marijuana is more prevalent in professional sports than steroids. Of course, it’s a meaningless guarantee since we will never know if I am right or not.  And also, you don’t get anything if I am wrong.  Nevertheless, I stand 100% behind my guarantee.

            Let’s just end this section with a quote that Ricky gave after he returned to football.

            “Everywhere I go, I hear ‘Welcome back.’  But everywhere I have been, I have always been with myself.  I'm with myself now more than ever.  It's funny people say ‘Welcome back’ when I haven't gone anywhere.”

            Seriously, it’s really hard for me to believe that this is a guy who likes to smoke pot.

 

4. Tonya Har