1. Kyle Busch: Busch passed Jeff Gordon with four laps to go, then went door-to-door with Carl Edwards on the final lap as a huge wreck brought out a caution and an official video review of the finish. Replays verified that Busch was ahead as the caution came out, and Busch celebrated his sixth win of the year, and second restrictor-plate win of the year. The win was especially satisfying for Japanese manurfacturer Toyota, as the Japanese had been particularly devastated by Takeru Kobayashi’s heartbreaking loss in the Nathan’s Fourth Of July Hot Dog-Eating Contest.

"You think there was a wild finish at Daytona?" says Busch. "You should have seen the climax at Coney Island, where the contest went to a five hot dog eat-off between Kobayashi and his gluttonous American rival Joey Chestnut. A 'green-white-checkered' finish doesn't pack anywhere near the drama of a 'five hot dog eat-off.' I defy anyone to find anything more dramatic than a 'five hot dog eat-off.' Sure, the men's final at Wimbledon may have been the greatest tennis match in history, but it lacked one thing: Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal frantically shoveling five franks apiece into their gizzards, while some glorified carnival barker in a straw hat calls the action. Now that’s entertainment!"

"This win at Daytona was really special for me. It's my first Daytona Cup win, and I think I'm really starting to win over the fans. I distinctly heard much less booing from the stands after this win. Sadly though, it’s not because I’m becoming more popular; there’s just fewer fans in the seats. I'll take fans anywhere I can get them, even if they're empty seats."

2. Dale Earnhardt, Jr.: Earnhardt, piloting the #88 Hendrich National Guard/Amp Energy Chevrolet sporting a special camouflage paint scheme, led the most laps at Daytona, but was shuffled from the draft late when Jeff Gordon passed him for the lead. Earnhardt regrouped to finish eighth, and moved up a spot in the point standings to second, 182 behind Kyle Busch.

"Yep, I got ‘shuffled from the draft,’" says Earnhardt. "'Shafted’ for short. I was well hung...out to dry. But how about the all-DEI front row to start the race? Wasn't that special? And Martin Truex, Jr. could have made it a 1-2-3 DEI start, but he had to go to a backup car after failing inspection with a roof height infraction. The team says it was an unintentional, but I beg to differ. Teresa Earnhardt is known for her ruthless aggression, as well as her 'roof-less aggression.' And what’s with this ‘For Sale’ sign in front of DEI? I hear buyers can purchase the organization without Teresa, or with her, known as the ‘fully loaded’ package. I understand that fully loaded package is ‘totally ####in.’"

"But I really wanted this win, for myself, and for the troops honored by our special paint scheme. The camouflage design was a huge hit. And it's obvious the deceptive powers of camouflage really work. Just take a look at our merchandise sales. We disguised the same old #### in a new wrapper, and people bought just ate it up. Hey, what fans doesn’t want a different Dale, Jr. t-shirt for every day of the week? For that kind of blind loyalty shown by the people of Junior Nation, we're going to honor them with their own paint scheme. The #88 Chevrolet will sport a paint job featuring the images of multiple tattoos on a background paint color known as 'Tanning Booth Bronze.'"

3. Carl Edwards: Edwards came up inches short in his bid for victory in the Coke Zero 400, his assault on Kyle Busch’s lead cut short by a caution that flew as the two battled for the lead. Busch had the lead when the caution came out and was declared the winner after a video review. Edwards disappointingly settled for the runner-up position, which, along with Matt Kenseth’s third and David Ragan’s fifth, gave Roush Fenway three cars in the top 5.

"I really think I could have passed Busch had we been able to complete that final lap," says Edwards. "I don't dispute Busch's talent, but it sure seems that everything always falls perfectly into place for him. You know, like it does for Danny Ocean and his all-star crew anytime they scheme to pilfer millions of dollars right from under the noses of some of the dumbest casino security teams ever."

"I was very impressed by the efforts of Matt and David. Matt really helped me their at the end, and David's been very strong at Daytona. He's making a name for himself in that #6 car. For so long, people have associated that #6 with Mark Martin and Viagra sponsorship. Well, David's fanatically adamant that people realize he's the driver, and AAA is the sponsor. For Christ's sake, whatever you do, don't ask him 'What's up?'"

4. Jeff Gordon: Gordon’s tactical error, choosing the high line to counter Kyle Busch’s dive low for the lead on lap 156, may have cost him the win in the Coke Zero 400. Busch took the lead after Gordon had led the previous 21 laps and held on for the win, and Gordon errantly tried to block Carl Edwards on the final restart, sending Gordon sliding into the grass. Gordon fell from second was credited with a 30th-place finish.

"Our car definitely had the speed to win this race," says Gordon. "It had more top-end than the 'Hee Haw All Jug Band.' The #24 DuPont was quick from zero to 60, and even faster from 2 to 30. I'm really upset with myself. Not necessarily for blowing my chance to win the race, but for ruining my opportunity to drink a victory Pepsi as the winner of the Coke Zero 400. That would have made NASCAR squirm. Viewers heard the word 'Coke' uttered so often, they probably thought they were watching an episode of 'Miami Vice.'"

5. Matt Kenseth: With a mad scramble going haywire behind him, Kenseth was running third on the final lap at Daytona, his front bumper glued to the rear of teammate Carl Edwards’ #99, who was attempting to pass Kyle Busch for the lead. Edwards couldn’t quite make the pass, and Busch gained his first Daytona Cup win while Kenseth celebrated his best-ever finish at Daytona. Kenseth has top-10 finishes in all but one of the last eight races, and moved up four spots to ninth in the Sprint Cup point standings.

"It really behooves me to hear several NASCAR analysts and announcers proclaim me the hottest driver in NASCAR," says Kenseth. "Although it saddens me to know that they're all men, and they're referring to my driving."

"Anyway, someone has to step up and do something to slow down Kyle Busch before he runs away with the Cup. And, since no drivers seem to want to take the initiative, I say NASCAR should throw the equivalent of a debris caution and dock Busch about 300 points. Really, for no other reason than to bunch the field. I mean, isn’t that what ‘debris cautions’ are for? Busch has probably done nothing wrong, but since when does NASCAR actually need debris for a debris caution?"

6. Jeff Burton: Two on-track incidents, combined with a pit lane penalty, were too much for Burton to overcome and keep his string of top-15 finishes intact. The Richard Childress driver finished his night at Daytona in 37th after a pile-up with 20 laps to go left him with a broken radiator and oil pump, and Burton dropped a spot in the points to third, now 182 out of first.

"Damaged goods may be appealing to Alex Rodriguez, but not to me," says Burton. "Restrictor plate racing is not RCR's strong suit. We’ve got to get better at these big tracks. Management has kind of been dragging their feet on our restrictor plate program. Not long ago, I asked Richard Childress if he could get us some time in the wind tunnel. The next thing I know, I see him on the television talking to Dave Despain."

7. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson ran consistently in the top 10 for most of the night at Daytona, but a flat tire less than 30 laps from the end doomed his victory aspirations. Then, on lap 157, the #48 Chevy was spun when Dave Blaney’s car was hit from behind and into Johnson. Damage was minimal, and Johnson was able to salvage a 23rd-place finish, and remained at the #5 spot in the points.

"Sometimes, things are just beyond your control," says Johnson. "At least that’s what Chad Knaus says when our car heads to the inspection line. I just want Martin Truex, Jr. to know that I feel his pain. A failed inspection will only cost you some points and some cash, and earn you lingering su####ion as a cheater. It looks like NASCAR’s coming down pretty hard on Truex, docking him 150 points. I don’t know what that team did to the roof of their car, but NASCAR didn’t like it. It reminds me of the time Chad installed a mirror on the ceiling of the #48. I don’t know what kind of competitive advantage it gave us, but the ladies sure loved it."

"But the severity of that penalty leads me to believe that NASCAR found something just a bit more incriminating in that car, like Roger Clemen’s DNA, or Amy Winehouse’s video collection. It will take time for Truex and team to regain their integrity. And ‘integrity’ is exactly what Mark Martin will bring to Hendrick Motorsports. Despite his diminutive stature, Mark is a giant in this sport. He represents 27 years of NASCAR experience, and represents all that is good with the sport. Even better, he represents the Lollipop Guild."

8. Kasey Kahne: After starting 41st, Kahne patiently carved his way to the front and survived fender damage suffered on a lap 143 restart to place his #9 Dodge in the top 10 with a seventh-place result, rebounding well from two-straight finishes of 30th or worse. The face of Gillett Evernham Motorsports now sits eighth in the points, 509 out of first.

"It’s great to finally hit the top 10 in the points," says Kahne. "Hopefully, people will realize that I’m not just another pretty face. I’m not sure who said it first. Maybe it was Genghis Khan; maybe it was Vlad The Impaler; maybe it was King Richard The Lionheart; maybe it was #### Trickle The Leaky Bladder; or maybe it was Corey Glover, lead singer of Living Colour, who said, ‘I ain’t no glamour boy. I’m fierce.’ I just want to be taken seriously, whether I’m barreling down the straightaway at Daytona doing 195, or performing a boy-band dance routine while in a heart-covered racing suit."

"In any case, I was pleased with the car right from the start. Like a boat from Cuba making landfall in Miami, we ‘unloaded fast.’ And, it was a good day for Dodge's in general, with three cars in the top 10. Ryan Newman wasn't one of those, and he's often expressed his unhappiness with his car. And, his contract expires soon. I'm not sure there's much Roger Penske can do to keep Newman from getting the hell out of Dodge."

9. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin was involved in two incidents in the second half of the Coke Zero 400 and could manage only a finish of 26th. After leading the race as late as lap 121, Hamlin fell back in the pack, which is dangerous territory in a race known for late wrecks that change the complexion of the race.

"What can you say?" says Hamlin. "Oftentimes, the line between success and failure at Daytona is measured by your vicinity to the nearest no-driving fool. Trust me, I know. I nearly wiped out Kyle Busch early in the race. Luckily, he saved it, or that would have been two years in a row that I took out a Joe Gibbs teammate at Daytona."

"Anyway, racing at Daytona is a crapshoot, which also happens to describe Tony Stewart’s physical condition during the race. But Daytona wasn’t a total loss for Tony. He was this week’s winner of the ‘Who Sharted?’ t-shirt. And Daytona wasn't a total loss for me, either. I won Saturday's Winn Dixie 250, giving Joe Gibbs Racing its 13th win in 18 Nationwide races this year. That's domination, and people are starting to take notice. Jack Roush was so impressed by our cars, he said a #### could drive them. Is that a compliment of the car's handling, or an insult to ####? Don't knock ####, Mr. Roush. They are smart animals. They don't even wear pants and they expose themselves less than NASCAR officials."

10. (tie) Clint Bowyer/Tony Stewart: As the field roared towards the white flag, Bowyer made contact with the #6 of David Ragan, and another spectacular Daytona crach for the #07 Jack Daniels Chevy seemed imminent. Somehow, Bowyer maintained control, and lost only a few positions. Moments later, a crash midway through the pack ended the race under caution, with Bowyer locked into the ninth slot, his ninth top 10 of the year.

"I really wished we could have won this race for all the Jack Daniels drinkers," says Bowyer. "Then they could have celebrated the Fourth of July on the 'Fifth Of Liquor.' The Jack Chevy was really fast. It was like a bottle rocket out there. And while we're talking Jack Daniels, I think it's a perfect time to introduce my new Jack-scented shampoo. It's called 'Bow-yer Hair Smells Terrific.'"

Stewart battled flu-like symptoms prior to Saturday’s race, and pre-race intravenous fluids weren’t enough to keep him in the car. On lap 72, Stewart pitted and was relieved by J.J. Yeley, who had the #20 car primed for a top-10 finish before bad drafting position and the inevitable last lap carnage left him with a result of 20th. Stewart dropped three places in the points to 12th, only two points ahead of Kevin Harvick in 13th.

"Very few drivers know what it’s like to take the green flag with needle marks in their arms," says Stewart. "Except for maybe Aaron Fike. Sadly, a simple IV drip doesn’t produce the same euphoria as a syringe full of heroin. Maybe a ‘smack’ to the face would have kept me in the #20 car all night, or an IV drip of chicken gravy. Anyway, my Daytona saga was just another case of the bad luck that's stricken me practically every week this year. I shudder to think of the bad luck that awaits me in Chicago. If my race ends because of a cow and a huge fire, I'll know it's just not my year."