'Twas the night before Christmas and all thru the house,

Shaq begins to wonder how this all came about;

The championship banner hanging high up in the air,

Another ring for the Diesel, but who really cares?

'Cause the Heat keeps losing all but left for dead,

While visions of Kobe winning continue to haunt O'Neal's head;

And the Lakers are ready to be put on the map,

While Shaq plays Santa with his 20 kids on his lap;

When out in the East there arose such a chatter,

Shaq is out of shape again he's getting fatter;

So away he went to leave it all up to Flash,

You're on your own kid while I collect my cash.

The Suns are shining in the West and there's a new Jazz show,

but we all know that there's still San Antonio;

Then all of a sudden in Denver, the Answer appears

Just in time for Garnett to say the end is near;

And just like that Buss calls McHale quick,

He thought for a moment it must be a trick.

Buss asks if he liked last night's game

"I don't know" McHale replied. "Ask what's-his-name."

"Now, Blount! now, Davis! now, Hudson and Griffin!

On, Jaric! on, Foye! on, James and Madsen!

To the bottom of the Northwest! to one last call!

Now go away Garnett! I'll take the fall!

As the speculation continues and the rumors fly,

Isaiah Thomas insists he's a nice guy;

So up to Stern's office Thomas flew

to request more players 'cause he was down to two;

I'll cut this short so I can shop at the mall,

Maybe it's on sale... that is, the new ball;

Shaq don't like it so he drove out of sight,

"Happy Christmas to all, and to O'Neal's career - good night."