Hot off the press, this intrepid reporter has just learned that some major sponsors who were approached by Joe Gibbs Racing to be added to those currently sponsoring the #20 Cup car have said NO!!! Here's your update on this developing story:
1) Supercuts has said NO for obvious reasons. How does he trim his hair? With a weed wacker perhaps.
2) NutriSystem has also said NO because even though they have worked miracles with other celebrities they know trying to slow down Tony's voracious appetite would be even tougher than trying to slow down his rapid fire mouth which he so frequently engages without putting his brain in gear.
3) L'Avion has added its name to the quickly growing list of potential sponsors for Smoke's Cup team who have said NO. As the "100% Business Class" airline, they have found that their large, comfortable passenger seats aren't large enough for the MIchelin Tire mascot wannabe who drives the #20.
4) Gillete too has said NO to sponsoring Mr. Stewart. First, they want to stick with "The Young Guns" theme which has worked well for them and, second, they are worried that Tony has aged so much so quickly that he can't even remember to shave most days thus making him a totally inappropriate spokesperson for their products.
5) Dale Carnegie Seminars, the "How To Win Friends and Influence People" specialists have also determined that Tony is the poster boy for how to lose friends and influence no one so they too have added their name to the "Just Say NO To Tony" list of prospective sponsors.
We will continue to monitor Advertising Age and other industry publications to keep you all updated on new developments in JGR's sponsor search as they unfold.
P.S. Since we have all learned that Smoke's fans have little or no sense of humor, let the bashing begin.
OK, here's another update on Smoke's open mouth insert foot disease. I just read a quote in today's newspaper where he said "tires should never, ever be the deciding factor in a race." Hmmm, since all drivers used the same compound of tire, how does he figure tires were the deciding factor in Kyle winning and him finishing second. Heck tires and tire wear, along with fuel mileage, pit strategy, etc. have OFTEN been the deciding factor in races but at Atlanta everyone was on an even playing field with their tires so his statement is just STUPID. He got out driven by Kyle Busch who seems to be the ace of Cup racing at driving a loose race car. Tony should just be happy he got second (along with his 20 team's $160,000 prize) for driving for four hours. Enough Tony. We get it. You've found a new ENEMY to blame for your lengthening losing streak. Do us all a favor and JUST SHUT UP!!!
Hey, Hoo, I'm after you!
I'm gonna beat you down--
Right to the dirty ole ground!
Hey, Hoo, I'm after you!
You ain't got nuthing for me,
Just you wait and see!
Hey, Hoo, I'm after you!
Git that catcher's mask and mitt,
It's coming back at you, big ole schnit!
(I've worn myself out--I'll be back) LMAO
You race! You race! YOUUUUU race???????
You can't git nun then sponsers nedder. Here's why:
1.Supercuts--you ain't got no hair.
2.Nutrisystem--you one them pictures of them skinny sick peoples.
3.L'Avion--you thank that's sum that fancy water.
4.Gilete--ifn you had a razor sumbudy'd slit your big r.e.d.neck
5. Dale Who? Jr. or Sr.?
Hellul, Man, that big boy could drive one uf them thangs with no tars! What you driving, sissy pant?
Well I didn't know my favorite arsonist a.k.a. "The Torch" was also a poet. Have you written some good rap music to go with that little ditty? Thanks for stopping by and I look forward to your return.
JW,
You are absolutely correct. Everyone knows debating me isn't worth the effort because I'm too thick-headed to ever have my mind changed about Smoke - lol. But boy can he wheel a race car.
Wow volfan, you are really on a roll today. Perhaps a little less sugar in your coffee and a lot less coffee, hmmmm. You are hilarious. You should share your funny side with us more often.
Volfan,
I do appreciate you not mentioning or ridiculing my after shave, Eau De Toilett. I know I wear a little too much when I'm out of deoderant but we'll keep that our little secret.
JW,
True dat, true dat. I'm currently under an intense educational study by The American Society for Personality Disorders but so far no one has been able to prove I have a personality.
HR13, thank ya, thank ya very much for reminding everyone I set the kitchen on fire. Yeah, I really needed that. LOL I do enjoy having fun with you. BTW, do you think Smoke knows that new spammer--pluscindy286? She might be a good "fit" for him.
Oh, way off topic here. Have you seen that commercial with Kasey Khane wearing that spandex jumpsuit with the hearts? I would guess the Bud officials vomit every time they see it. I love silly humor, but that is over the top for me. I find it to be gross.
Yeah Torch (lol) I think if I suddenly woke up as Kasey Kahne I would be firing my agent over that one. I love humor in commercials too but agree that one somehow crosses every line of good taste imaginable.
So has your hubby let you try your hand at cooking again yet?
I really do appreciate you stopping by to share your thoughts AND your humor which you should use more often. Dang gurl, ya'll r 1 funny hilljack.
Hey if you want another laugh out loud moment, read SpeedBeagle's latest blog on Juan Pablo. I smile when reading lots of blogs but I truly laughed out loud reading SB's latest. GREAT stuff.
Hoosier - I usually don't read or comment on the blogs, but with all the furor surrounding the tire issues at Atlanta, your Tony Stewart blogs are timely and the reactions from his fans are hilarious. As a Jeff Gordon fan, I would just pose one question to Tony Stewart's fans: When Jeff Gordon speaks his mind how come it is considered whining, but when Tony Stewart is a complete #### (even if he is right about what he is saying), he is just speaking his mind? Also, no offense, but when Hoosier is an #### and makes fun of Tony Stewart, isn't he then just speaking his mind as well?
P.S. I read your profile, and already knew some of it, but just wanted to say that you have my sympathy regarding your son and using his photo as your avatar is very cool.
Hey HR- Some of us Tony Stewart fans DO have a sense of humor and CAN laugh at his imperfections without taking offense.
As for sponsors, I hear that Hair Club for Men is in negotiations to buy the hair that will be coming off Tony's back Monday night. HC officials say that if they could get him to cut his hair, they could end baldness altogether ;o).
Thanks a bunch for the shout out for my blog!!
Last edited by SpeedBeagle20 on March 13th at 11:02 AM.
HR13, he bought me one of those "industrial strength" grills. Wow, it is amazing what you can do with those. My three kids and their families are even coming around for meals now. SpeedBeagle is too cool for me. I enjoyed that. Again, thanks for being such a good sport. (I am a hilljack because we can fix beans, taters, and conrbread on the grill.) Did you know you can singe you hair lighting a grill? LOL
Torch, of course I know you can singe your hair lighting a grill. Heck, I should probably buy some of Tony's hair to use to replace the eyebrows I lose every year the first time I fire up the grill.
Jumping Pig,
Well I appreciate your comments but you have to try to understand the mind of Smoke's average fan. He can never do or say anything wrong and people should love that he exercises his free speech and criticizes things in such an outspoken manner. HR13, on the other hand, is an imbecile who should stop acting like a child and grow up. But hey, I love acting like Tony and then being tarred and feathered by his fans for doing so. There are some great Tony fans out there though. There was an especially nice message from one on my previous Tony blog about his 5 biggest complaints and SB and The Torch are also kind and understanding considering how big a BLEEP I can be - lol Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Hanahan,
Which cage? The one in which Tony should be kept or the one in which his fans should live? Just curious. I was day dreaming earlier today (or living in my normal fog as my wife likes to call it) and thought about a historical reference to Tony that will appear in racing tomes in the future.
Entry: Tony Stewart, a native of Indiana who could drive and win in anything with wheels. Unfortunately his record-setting championship career was cut short when he totally lost it during a stop and go penalty and accelerated too quickly running down a Cup official whose legs were broken. He then went back on the track and refused to heed the black flag resulting in the race being red flagged. As he was pulled from his car and put in a straight jacket he kept screaming something about killing Brian France and that he was the true face of NASCAR and should never be penalized for anything. Tragically, his life ended just two years later when, wearing his Superman pajamas, he attempted to fly out of a seventh floor window at the institution where he had been housed since his meltdown. Employees at the Eldora Home For Criminally Insane Former Race Drivers said he had been especially depressed since learning that he could no longer order pizza any time he wanted.
Such a said end to his remarkable career. Don't you think?
Last edited by HoosierRacer13 on March 13th at 12:52 PM.
HR13 - I have met plenty of great fans of just about every driver out there. In fact, when I go to the races, Smoke and Ryan Newman fans are usually the most fun to mix it up with in the stands; it's generally been the Dale Jr. fans (a relatively small minority of them) that have been unpleasant about a rivalry. It will be interesting to see how that changes now that Dale Jr. is with HMS.
JumpingPig, Kevin Harvick fans have been great to me. Somehow those fans seem to have his sense of humor. They are a riot. I've been to Atlanta, Talladega, Bristol, Homestead, Texas, and Daytona. Also, Elliot Sadler fans are a fun bunch. Races, whether NASCAR or NHRA or dirt, are so much fun and you can meet so many wonderful people. IMO
The fans that bother me most are the ones who throw cans and bottles at Jeff Gordon. That guy is such a class act and certainly one of the best race drivers to ever participate in a Cup race but there are those who always root against the best even if it is Tiger Woods or Michael Jordan. I personally love watching the most talented athletes even if I don't root for them individually or for their team. Extreme excellence is so rare we should all revel in it when we see it displayed. That's why I can dislike Tony so strongly and still marvel at some of the things he does in a race car.
Last edited by HoosierRacer13 on March 13th at 1:38 PM.
volfan,
I know this is a NASCAR blog but, if you have never been to the Indy 500, put that on the top of your bucket list. Having followed it on radio as a youngster and having been to it multiple times, I still get goosebumps and tears in my eyes during the lead-up to the start with Taps and Back Home Again in Indiana etc. I love attending Cup races but every race fan should see the Indy 500 live at least once. Let me know when you are coming and be sure to bring your grill. I'll stop by for some of your cornbread and beans. By the way, I'm Irish so I eat mine with maple syrup - lol.
I happen to love Tony's hair long. :) And enough of the weight jokes...that's getting old. Tony's a fantastic driver and I'm happy someone speaks up. That's the only way changes will be made. I bet you Goodyear is scrambling. And as far as K Busch winning on the tires. Someone had to come in first! That doesn't mean it wasn't a struggle.
Hoosier.....There is no substitute for the truth even when it hurts. If I could list things I am thankful for it would have to be we like the same driver.
Nice list of fictional sponsors and their reactions to Smoke. You are a bit blunt here. Oh well, Tony is known for his bluntness, so your style on the blog is appropriate.
fishwanda,
I was surprised to see that you had read my blog and left a comment. I know you are a big 20 fan and I do respect his driving talent. Actually, even my wife said last nite that she feels sorry for Tony after reading my blogs, but hey it is just me being like Tony, outspoken.
I will eagerly follow his season and Kyle's because I think if Kyle beats him in the points Tony will leave JGR when his contract expires. It's amazing how much more Kyle is getting out of the 18 than JJ Yeley could.
Last edited by HoosierRacer13 on March 14th at 6:20 AM.
noahspop,
Good idea. He just has to hope someone doesn't spill gray paint all over him or he'll end up with Goodyear painted on his body and we both know how much he would hate that.
Gerrel,
Me blunt? Well, he is my role model so I am trying to be as outspoken as he is - lol.
Hoosier...sorry so late to the party. So many NASCAR blogs now they fall off the page before I can get to them!
After getting bashed by Tony fans in some of my past posts I will reserve comment since I dont have 10 hours to defend my opinion...but yours is funny!
Being relatively knew in these there hills and reading some of your more recent blogs I was wondering why all the reference to Tony fans being haters of yours. I now see why...lol. It is sad that people cant have any sense of ha ha. Smoke's my fave driver (Im ducking now..lol) and he always will be, but I'd like to think I'm a fairly rational person and know he's flawed. As are all the other 40 some drivers out there. Personally, your blogs are makin me laugh my behind off. I think they're great!!
