The Rose Bowl stew of glitz and hype is finally about to come to a boil. But before dinner is served on Wednesday night, we need to take a look at some of the match-ups that will have absolutely no impact on the game, but are much more fun than your traditional analysis. (Which I'll get to as well. After all, you gotta eat your vegetables.)
Celebrities: In the scarlet corner we have Nick Lachey, Snoop Dogg, Will Ferrell, and thousands of fledgling actresses who know that Matt Leinart could get them on the second season of Unscripted. In the burnt orange corner we have Luke and Owen Wilson, Roger Clemens, Matthew McConaughey and President Bush, who I doubt will be in attendance as that would make him only the second-most popular Bush in the building and who wants to relive being the people's second choice? (Question: Is it an NCAA violation to have an actor who played a bookie on your sidelines? I'm laying 5-1 odds that it is.)
Edge: Texas. While SC has the big-name star power, I like the understated cool and 4502 career strikeouts of the Longhorn supporters. It's all about the drawl.
Cheerleaders: This could be the most difficult category to assess as both squads may feature as much talent on the sidelines as their respective teams on the field. In a word, WOW! USC goes with a classically co-ed white sweater, while Texas features lots of fringe and mini-skirts.
Edge: USC. This is sort of like pitting Audrey Hepburn against Shania Twain. You can't go wrong either way, but one's a classic and one ain't.
Jewelry/Style: While USC has had two football lettermen wear Olympic gold around their necks (Fred Kelly in 1912 and Ken Carpenter in 1936), Jeff Madden, the UT Strength and Conditioning Coach, wears a gold chain and Puerto Rican-style nameplate medallion...on the sidelines. (Also worth watching: If Texas adds a rose to their helmet logo, like they've been doing on their website, they may force the first amendment to the Helmet Corollary.)
Edge: Texas. Tell me that Coach Madden's shines don't reel in an additional two to three recruits per year.
The Game: In my mind, it comes down to two things: defense and experience. While all the hype has been on the offensive fire-power in this game, it is defense that will most likely decide the outcome. And, in a small twist of fate, both teams will be focused on the exact same thing: stopping the run. If Texas can slay the two-headed dragon of Bush-White, they should have the athletes to match-up with the Trojans on the outside.
On the other side, USC has to cut-off the legs (not literally) of the lead Longhorn, Vince Young, and force him to move the ball through the air with his free-throw flick throwing motion. Not that either team struggles with the aerial attack, it's just a matter of picking your poison.
Slight Edge: Texas. USC leads the country in total offense, but Texas isn't far behind at number four. However, Texas possesses the sixth-rated defense in the nation, while Southern Cal sits far behind at number 35. In this sort of match-up defense generally wins out. (See: Alabama v. Texas Tech.)
Then there is the unquantifiable element, experience. This is the first national title game for Mack Brown, who has been open about the pressure he feels to succeed in football-mad Texas. Also in play is the Longhorns' long history of also-ran status. If the Trojans go up early will it start to feel like another missed opportunity for the Horns? Combine the two and you have a lot of mental baggage weighing on Bevo's boys.
Baggage that, by this time, the Trojans have a bellboy to carry for them after consecutive national titles. USC has been in the spotlight all season long and Pete Carroll probably views the national media the way Jennifer Anniston looks at People magazine.
Additionally, this game is almost a home game for USC. While the eyes of Texas will certainly be at, as well as on, the Rose Bowl, the Horns still have to deal with spending two weeks in a city full of people wanting them to lose. The best Texas can hope for is the Kobe Effect, as he always played better after stopping off in Eagle, Colorado.
Major Edge: USC.
I've discounted Texas all year long, mostly because they're a Big XII foe and that's what Husker fans are supposed to do, but partly due to their propensity to come up short in the big game. If Mack Brown doesn't win this year he may jump the Rio Grande and start working on his own sequel to The Motorcycle Diaries. And who wants 50 Cent to lose his oddest, and whitest, fan?
But after THE Ohio State University threw an offensive party in the Fiesta Bowl, the Horns win at the Horseshoe looks a lot more impressive. I think they will need at least one touchdown out of their fourth-ranked scoring defense to do it, but I'll take the Longhorns by a big, meaty neck.
It all began on June 1, 2005 when Dr. Daryl Gross, the Director of Athletics at Syracuse University, announced that the Orange were ditching the all-orange headwear they had donned for the past 21 years and adopting an Alabama-like orange helmet with blue numerals and a solid blue stripe down the middle. It was a throwback to the Jim Brown era, when the Orange were still Men, and a major upgrade over the Donovan McNabb togs. But how would the new uniforms affect the team’s play? The Orange went 1-10, their worst record since 1948, with the lone win coming against Buffalo. Not a great start to the “old is new” era at SU.
The Orange’s downfall prompted me to examine other team’s fate after a significant uniform/helmet switch. Pittsburgh trotted out new helmets for the 05 season and stumbled to 5-6 following a BCS bowl appearance in 2004. New Mexico State followed the retro-is-in-craze, reverting to white helmets for 2005 and went 0-12. Oregon, the virtual chameleon of uniform changes, while only losing one game this season, got snubbed by the BCS for the second time in four years.
There seemed to be a pattern emerging that pointed towards a relatively simple deduction, dubbed the Helmet Corollary by yours truly, which states: “If a team changes its helmet design more than once every 25 years, said team is simply not a college football powerhouse.”
Look at the teams that are in the BCS this year: USC, Texas, Notre Dame, Ohio State, Penn State, FSU, West Virginia, and Georgia. That’s a pretty traditional bunch. There will be no question as to what they’ll be wearing come January.
While nearly every team in college football has made minor changes to stripes, numerals, fabrics, etc. to keep up with modern times, this year’s BCS group seems to highlight the fact that you have to have a good head on your shoulders if you want to win titles.
USC has sported the same helmet design continually since 1993, minus the facemask change from scarlet to grey in 2001, but today’s logo dates back even longer as it is the same that Anthony Davis wore when he ran all over Notre Dame in 1972. And speaking of the Irish, they’ve been doffing the all-gold lids since 1962.
Ohio State’s been plain since 1968, Penn State since 1975. The Seminoles have worn the same spears and tomahawks headdress ever since Bobby Bowden set foot on campus in 1976. In 1964, Georgia started riding the coattail’s of Lombardi’s Packers and they continue to this day, while if West Virginia’s interlocking “WV” design looks vaguely 80’s it’s because it is. The Mountaineers have had the same helmets since the decade dawned.
But the Helmet Corollary extends far beyond just this year’s top teams. Take a look at the National Champions since 1990 (including split national titles): Colorado, Georgia Tech, Miami, Washington, Alabama, Florida St., Nebraska, Florida, Michigan, Tennessee, Oklahoma, Ohio State, LSU and USC.
All of those helmets are imminently recognizable to even a casual fan of college football, and only one of those teams has since undergone a relevant change. Washington didn’t fudge the logo, but they did switch from gold to purple helmets between 1996 and 1998, before going back to gold in 1999. Are they feeling the effects of the sartorial switcheroo? Let’s just say they’re 3-19 in the past two seasons.
But if you’re willing to forgive the Huskies for changing colors, it was a nod to tradition I believe, you have to reach even further back on the National Champions list to find a team who has made major uniform changes in the past 20 years. That team is BYU in 1984. Since then, at Nike’s behest I presume, they’ve had a revolving door of helmet and uniform designs, seemingly switching every two to three years, before finally arriving this year at, guess what, the same helmet design they wore when they won it all. After a 12-0 start in 2001, they gave up 100 points in their final two losses to finish 25th in the AP Poll. In the past three years they’ve bobbed around the .500 mark and fallen completely off the national radar.
It seems as if the Helmet Corollary is making its presence felt in AD offices throughout the country. But remember, you can’t undo what’s already been done. Syracuse, NMSU, Pitt, Indiana, and BYU, a combined 18-49 in 2005, have all made changes back towards tradition, but it takes a while to wake up the echoes of past greatness. (Ask Notre Dame, and they wouldn’t DREAM of changing their signature look.)
So what does the Helmet Corollary mean? It means that Florida and Miami can color one sleeve whatever they want, Nebraska and Florida State can experiment with different white-pant combos, and Tennessee and Miami can trot out an occasional throwback design, just don’t change the helmets.
But it also means that maybe there’s a reason Oregon and Virginia Tech (whose current helmet design dates only to 1999, according to ESPN’sCollege Football Encyclopedia) have been close in recent years to the coveted Sears Trophy, but not close enough.
There is one team with a chance to overturn the power of the HC in the coming years and they reside in Columbia, South Carolina. It seems fitting that Steve Spurrier, who has always given the impression that he’s more than willing to throw tradition to the wolves, would be the one to do it. (Quick name the most famous visor on college sidelines prior to the Air Spurrier era.)
The Gamecocks have alternated between crimson, black and white helmets for the past decade, but should Spurrier get USC-East up and flying they can make history as the first team since, irony alert, their bitter rival Clemson, whose now famous paw print design was only four years old when they won it all in 1981, to take home the trophy without a tried and true traditional topper.
Until then, tradition…and the Helmet Corollary…still reign supreme on the college gridiron.
