Of course we’re talking about Friday Night Lights here. Who isn’t? Thanks to some negative off the cuff comments from NBC exec Ben Silverman and the news that last Friday’s episode represented the last the cast and crew were able to complete prior to the writer’s strike and you have a lot of people realizing all at once that they may have seen the last of the Taylors, Riggins, Garrity, et al.
And, as much as I want to see it continue, I’m not entirely convinced the quick death isn’t the best available fate. That’s how much I like the show, but that wasn’t always the case.
While there were a number of noteworthy critics lauding Friday Night Lights from the pilot episode, I gave the show a rather tepid but hopeful review after one episode. While relying too heavily on the precedents set by the book and the movie, I wrote the following:
“No longer set in 1988, the school is now the fictionalized Dillon. The players, while drawing heavily on their real-life models, aren’t real either. The super-quick cuts and Explosions in the Sky soundtrack are carried over from the film, but at this point the topic isn’t new…It’s become hyper-realistic, so bizarrely true that we don’t even notice anymore.”
I was wrong. The characters have revealed a depth that puts any reality show star to shame, the very people who are supposed to be real, relatable. Tim Riggins, in the 30-plus episodes we’ve seen thus far, has easily become the most compelling character on television, drinking pitchers before practice, yearning desperately for the girl who has made the breaks he’s never been able to catch. (And his hair reminds women of Jesus, so there’s that.)
Up against American Idol for most of its first season, FNL struggled for viewers. Websites started sprouting up in support of the show and, after some deliberation, NBC renewed it for a second season. On Friday nights.
As many predicted, the crappy time slot put the show in an almost impossible position. It’s tough to draw viewers on a night when there aren’t any and even the critical approval of sports-culture figureheads like Bill Simmons and Chuck Klosterman can’t replace the ad revenue that the show apparently cannot deliver. We’re not making art here, we’re pushing product and if the latter coincides with the former all the better. If not? There’s always My Dad is Better than Your Dad.
Which brings us to the very real possibility that last week’s mid-season ending was the ending. As fans of the show we’ve already been granted a death row reprieve once, the odds for a second in showbiz are about as long as Tim Street impregnating a beautiful and understanding waitress.
If that’s the case, however, I am prepared to let the show go. Cruelly cutting the cord, considering the circumstances behind it and the public support against it, would only serve to make the show even more memorable.
This isn’t a particularly profound or unique thought. You could have your pick of clichés to sum it up: better to burn out than fade way, if you love something set it free, always leave ‘em wanting more, etc. That last one is said to be the first rule of showbiz but the real rule is money, represented by eyes on TV screens, talks and, while everyone I know (and everyone you probably know if you’re reading this) loves the show, we apparently don’t know enough people.
At this point NBC isn’t saying whether the show will continue or not and there have been rumors that, should the show be canceled, ESPN might be interested in picking it up. Selfishly, I’d be delighted with more episodes but the “echoes in eternity” side of me knows it would be better if it ended right now.
What if we never know whether or not Tim Riggins escaped the painful precedent set by the male figures in his life? What if we never know whether or not Jason Street has his child and ultimately finds a replacement for the shine of Friday night lights? What if we never see Smash in a college uniform? So what?
As with all good art, the questions themselves are nearly destined to be more interesting than the answers. Try to recall the most memorable ending you’ve ever seen. Was it from your favorite movie or book or show? Did it answer every question or confirm your belief in the work? Or was it just an ending? Not necessarily life affirming but simply life, abrupt, unresolved endings and all?
For a show praised for its realism, there may not be a better ending than the one we’re looking at right now. What might be the final episode of Friday Night Lights ended last week with Street making an earnest appeal to his girlfriend to keep their child. His final words were these:
“So give it a chance.”
If those are the final words for Friday Night Lights as a whole, well, could you write a better ending?
Interested in fighting
for that inch chance? Petitions are here, here and here.
Personally, I just went out and bought the DVD of the first season—my first
ever television series purchase—as someone
said that would help. I think I’ll watch that now.
Approximately eight seconds into the 133rd Kentucky Derby,
I realized why this event is one of the best in all of sport. It's not
the fancy hats or the bespoke suits or the silver cups. It's something
much more primal than that. After the week-long coverage and the
hour-long made-for-TV build up, you're left with a two minute race.
It's a physical competition as old as man, something that happens
naturally in backyards and playgrounds the world over. Line them up and
let's see who is the fastest.
In the biggest such race in
America, that horse was Street Sense. His impressive rally from 19
horses back to win snapped a number of Derby streaks:
First Breeder's Cup Juvenile winner to win the Derby.
First 2-year-old champion to win the Derby since Spectacular Bid in 1979.
First horse to win the Derby with two or fewer prep races since Sunny's Halo in 1983.
First horse to win from the seven slot since Pleasant Colony in 1981.
First Derby win for jockey Calvin Borel.
But
there was one more thing that rarely happens at the Derby: the chalk
came home. Street Sense was the longest favorite ever to win the Derby,
but he was still the favorite. Hard Spun, the fourth choice by the time
the race went off, held on to place after leading the field for much of
the race. The morning line favorite and post time second choice,
Curlin, came in to show. The $2 trifecta paid $440, the lowest total
since 2000.
The reason the Derby is such a great, and difficult,
race to handicap is because anything can happen. We see it almost every
year. A lightly regarded horses hits the board (Bluegrass Cat, 2006) or
even wins the whole thing (Giacomo, 2005). It's almost impossible to
predict.
This year, however, the Run for the Roses was painfully
logical. If not for Hard Spun's polarizing workout earlier in the week,
this race could have finished 1-2-3 on the toteboard. Does this mean
the race was in some way disappointing? Not in the least.
Street
Sense's back of the pack rally to win could become the stuff of legend.
Seeing the colt cut through the field like a shark fin through water is
as good as it gets on the track. Was there greatness in that move?
Unquestionably.
Is there greatness in that horse? We'll find out in two weeks at Pimlico but right now, I'm a believer.
"On the TV the announcer is predicting how the race will be run and famous people are asked their opinions. I wait for a twinkle in my brain but nothing happens. Still it's all so exciting I want to talk to someone about it..." --Kentucky Derby Day, Belfast, Maine Stephen Dobyns
I've
been waiting for that twinkle all week, through the workouts and the
draw for post and the conjecture, but I'm fairly certain no magic
realizations are coming. They never do.
You can't even call
handicapping the Derby an inexact science. The inexact part is
accurate, but science seems to imply that there's a way to figure this
all out. In theory there is, but after seeing Giacomo win in person,
I'm not so sure it isn't like trying to predict that lottery. The fact
that I keep trying has less to do with some inherent belief in my own
intellectual capacity and more to do with the excitement of
participating in the spectacle, the excitement that Dobyns mentions above.
I've got my own julep in hand--no EarlyTimes though, Old Whiskey River for me and my horses--so let's start piecing this puzzle together.
1. Sedgefield (50-1) - Should
be near the front with the early speed, but his best race came in the
Lane's End where he sat in the middle of the pack and ended up second
to Hard Spun. The horse is
experienced by new Derby standards with five starts this year, but that
75 Beyer in his last race scares me. Needs a lot to go right to have
any shot.
2. Curlin (7-2) - The
big mystery horse. He's only run three times, but he's won them all
impressively. His Arkansas Derby was effortless, beating Storm in May
by 10 1/2 lengths, but he got a pretty good trip so I'm still throwing
him out. Look at it this way, winning the Derby after not racing as a
2yo is like a high school star winning the NBA MVP award in his rookie
season. WillCurlin be Kevin Garnett or Johnathan Bender? I think the experience factor is a lot to overcome, but if he does let the hype begin.
3. Zanjero (30-1) - The sort of horse, from the three slot, that spoils exotics. This year alone he's already lost to fellow starters Dominican, Street Sense, Circular Quay and Imawildandcrazyguy but he finished third in all three of those races. Classic example o####ood but not good enough. Additionally, Garrett Gomez, Zanjero's
jockey for his past two races, will be atop Any Given Saturday. I won't
be shocked if this horse screws me, but if you can't omit a horse who's
lost to 20% of the field already who can you omit?
4. Storm in May (30-1) - Showed a little heart to hold on to second in the Arkansas Derby, but there's not a lot else here. Beaten by both Curlin and Sedgefield and I'm not favoring either of those horses.
5. Imawildandcrazyguy (50-1) - If Zanjero was good but not quite good enough, Blahblahblahguy is average and not nearly good enough. Finished off the board in every race thus far this year.
6. Cowtown Cat (20-1) - Intriguing colt here coming off consecutive wins in the Gotham and the Illinois Derby after hooking up with Todd Pletcher. He's not the best horse Pletcher will have going on Saturday, but somehow that makes me like him more. War Emblem anyone? One to watch on the toteboard for win bets and probably a part of exotics.
7. Street Sense (4-1) - What
more is there to say? Best Beyer in the field with victories over most
of the other mid-range prospects. Let's just say he's probably not
running for show money.
8. Hard Spun (15-1) - The toteboard will tell you all you need to know. How is the betting public going to respond to Hard Spun's ridiculous workout? I already think he's a value at 15-1 and if he goes up from there I'll bring out the hammer.
9. Liquidity (30-1) - Nakatani likes his chances better astride Great Hunter. So do I. Put up a 102 in the Sham Stakes, but still lost.
10. Teuflesberg (30-1) - After a one race stand with Edgar Prado, Teuflesberg is back with Stewart Elliot but it probably won't matter. Devil's Mountain has already been beaten by seven
11. Bwana Bull (50-1) - The winner of the El Camino Real, my favorite graded stakes race name, has never won the Derby. Bwana finished behind both Tiago and Sam P. in the Santa Anita Derby and I barely like those two.
12. Nobiz Like Shobiz (8-1) - Consistency, consistency, consistency. Winner of three of his last four, Nobiz was bumped early on in his loss to Scat Daddy and Stormello in the Fountain of Youth Stakes. This horse is definitely on my ticket.
13. Sam P. (20-1) - Occupies
an odd middle ground at 20-1 which gives me pause, but he's been beaten
too often by too many others for me to give him a second look. Could be
Pletcher's pawn in the grand scheme of things.
14. Scat Daddy (10-1) - He's beaten Nobiz
and I like that horse, but Scat Daddy's had to work hard for his last
two wins. The Derby is all about making tough choices and this might
end up being mine.
15. Tiago (15-1) - Has
improved his Beyer in ever race thus far, including an impressive Santa
Anita Derby in his first race with Smith. Will probably end up near the
bottom of my ticket, but if he floats upward of 15-1 he might be an
intriguing win bet.
16. Circular Quay (8-1) - He's
been in the hunt with every horse I like, but it probably won't be
worth it to play him straight up. Easily a part of my exotics.
17. Stormello (30-1) - I was skeptical at first, but I think Stormello still gets to the front breaking from 17. That won't be where he ends up.
18. Any Given Saturday (12-1) - Finished
on the board in all three 2007 starts and there's no reason not to play
him. That said, I'm nervously leaving him off because I like others
more.
19. Dominican (20-1) - Pretty good price considering he beat the second choice, Street Smarts, in his last out, but I think the extra distance does him in.
20. Great Hunter (15-1) - The
first horse I fell in love with, it hurts me to see him all the way out
there on the end. He's got the speed, he's got the jockey and he's got
an excuse in the Bluegrass. After careful consideration, I'm saying
screw it and taking him anyway.
My standard Derby approach is to
work out an exotic or two early, then go shopping for value in the last
hour before post. Without further adieu, here's how I'm leaning:
Great Hunter Nobiz Like Shobiz Storm Sense Tiago Circular Quay
And I'll be keeping a close eye on where Hard Spun and Cowtown Cat end up odds-wise.
At least that's my "twinkle." With all that thinking out of the way, let's remix Dobyns a bit: Troy has yet to fall, but play those country songs anyway.
I need to hear "Whiskey River" right now. other Derby horses. That's not my kind of pony.
The NFL Draft should be so easy. In barely more than hour, using little cardboard cut-outs of jockey silks, they drew for post positions in Louisville yesterday. There were winners and losers and Mike Battaglia's morning line, all of which you'll find below.
Basically, we've got some information now so let's get started.
I
was starting to love Great Hunter (15-1). He's beaten Street Sense, the
best horse in the field in my opinion, his speed figures are right
there and he had an excuse in the Bluegrass Stakes. Now he's breaking
from the 20th post, as poorly placed as possible. Fantastic. Thank you
cruel fate.
Stormello (30-1) was in over his head anyway, but
he could've been a pacesetter in this race. His name would've been
called most of the way around the track, the owner's silks would've
gotten prime TV time. But now, breaking from 17, he's just another
speed horse fighting to get inside.
Street Sense is right in
the thick of things, literally. He opened as the second choice at 4-1,
but I'll be surprised if he doesn't end up as the people's choice.
It
might be time to reconsider Hard Spun (15-1). Sure he may have left his
race on the track with his freakish workout on Monday, but out of the 8
slot he's in the right place for a big run. Now all that's left to see
is the betting publics reaction to that workout. Will more people jump
on or jump off?
Oaklawn's dual champ, Curlin (7-2), drew the
second post. Now, you can't discount what Curlin has done thus far this
year. What you can discount is the fact that this is his only year.
How will this lightly raced horse deal with starting in what amounts to
the Derby's aisle seat, getting bumped and bruised in the sprint to the
first turn?
So there you have it, some starting points. Talk amongst yourselves.
The Legend never worried about GHT...The Yun' Ball Coach sent along the accompanying photo last week and while the late Dennis Johnson is definitely the focus (and reason this photo probably surfaced), check out Bird giving an interview to Marv Alberts Brent Musberger with an old-school white can of Miller Lite in his hand.
Forget the champagne that DJ has collared, it's the original Lite beer for the Hick. Only thing that could make this picture better is if Bob Uecker were somehow involved.
Notice that the can is nearly as long as his shorts. Those were the days.
Seriously, you guys. Seriously...Thanks again to the Yun' Ball Coach for this story from chicagosports.com about current Cubs backstop, Michael Barrett: Barrett seriously bleeding Cubs blue.
Apparently Michael likes it in Chicago and I'm fine with that. He hits as well as any catcher and if we're going to fault him for his defense on this team he's probably only fourth or fifth on the hit list. Check out his love letter to the Cubs:
"I will put no deadline or nothing on anything," Barrett said. "For me, I feel like I've been through a lot as a player, and I feel completely blessed to be a part of this team. For me, if there's a distraction that keeps you from appreciating putting on a Cubs uniform, then something ain't right. That's the way I feel."
Spoken like a true catcher, and...
"I feel indebted to this organization for what it's done. It believed in me at a time when a lot of teams and a lot of people gave up on me. . . . When you have that grace extended to you, it's easy to come to the yard and be appreciative."
Maybe it's just me, but isn't loyalty like this, even if it ends up only on paper, far too rare? As a fan, the one thing I never understand is why we don't see more of this. Wouldn't this be the approach of most any fan out there? Find a team and city you like and do everything you can to stay there.
Hardly ever happens, though. I guess when your career has a 10-year shelf life (if you're lucky), maximizing your earnings becomes that much more important, but good for Barrett for saying all the right things even if it's only February.
The season starts now...Spring Training has begun and the traditional slate of non-stories bubble up from Florida and Arizona every day now: Dice-K throws BP, Wood hurts himself and misses 8 hours, Barry Bonds has a funny t-shirt (which actually might be sorta remarkable, who knew he had a sense of humor?). The important thing isn't what happens in Spring Training, it's that Spring Training is happening and with that comes the promise of everything American: watery beer, cheap encased meats and baseball.
But video game companies are ready to let fans get started now. They time the release of their games just early enough so the rosters won't be quite right come Opening Day but who the hell cares? You can play (virtual) baseball while there's still snow on the ground.
While Bortone focused on the early history of baseball gaming, and I remembered a handful of games played on my father's Odyssey, I couldn't help but look ahead to the true rise of baseball on the NES. Everyone seems to agree that RBI Baseball was the first true quantum leap forward, but, looking back, I always favored Bases Loaded.
I knew BL was the game for me once I saw that the infielders actually fired the ball over to first rather than using the long-toss lob that made most grounders a judgment call. Sure it didn't have real teams, uniforms, stadiums or players, but it did have video franchises in such remote outposts as Kansas, Hawaii and Omaha.
The fake players went on to become as renowned as many major leaguers for a generation of young fans. Tell me if you recognize these names: Frieda, Fendy, Marcus, Gantos, Patson. Perhaps more telling, those all paled to Jersey's immortal Paste: simply the greatest fictional baseball player ever, beating out such luminaries as Sidd Finch and Roy Hobbs.
In fact, Paste may have been the model for the modern-day slugger. Undeniable talent with a crucial character flaw. While Paste possessed the power to hit mammoth home runs off nearly any pitch, he was also as likely to be tossed before the game became official. His penchant for taking issue with plunkings was legendary and, if you were a savvy manager, you could count on him being tossed before you even had to use your set-up man.
My brother and I played a lot of baseball games from a lot of different sources. Bo Jackson, Tecmo, Griffey Jr., Little League Baseball and even Dusty Diamond's All-Star Softball (play it here), where Diablo hit with a freakin' mace!
Even that wasn't as intimidating as seeing Pace dig in.
We all speak "baseball"...I happened to catch some of NESN's Red Sox spring training coverage and after an interview with Dice-K I started to wonder about the interpreters these teams employ. How did they get this job? What are they paid? Do they realize they're some of the first people to infiltrate the inner baseball circle without any real connection to the game?
This piece from the Sunday New York Timesanswered many of those questions. For example, the Sox hired a Harvard grad to aide their two Japanese players and the Yankees will spend about $300K this season on their interpreters/media assistants. But the one thing I'm still wondering is: do the players have a say in who gets the job?
The NYT piece points out that these interpreters don't really have a definite job description. They're everything from a personal assistant to a warm-up partner in addition to bridging the language gulf. But if that's the case and you're a player, wouldn't you want some say in who your personal guide through Americana is going to be?
Think about it, every time you order a pizza or go to the grocery store or talk to the pitching coach, some guy is going to be the intermediary. The story calls them "shadows," and if some team dropped $50 million on me, I'd make sure that I got a person I could spend an entire year with. Giving multi-million dollar investments Johnny Ivyleague violates every single thing we've learned about entourage assembly.
Should I ever end up as a pro in Japan, I'm requesting, no demanding, Bobby Valentine. Or Bill Murray. He's gotta know after Lost in Translation.
The Departed does it...there was a lot to love about The Departed: the cast, Boston, the Irish mob, that Dropkick Murphy's song, but I was pulling for it last night at the Academy Awards simply because it'd been six years since we had a Best Picture winner that would appeal to your average meat head sports fan. (Not to say all sports fans are meat heads, certainly not the case, but look at it this way: the Oscars is like the Super Bowl for people who don't care about the Super Bowl.)
The last film to fit that bill was Gladiator in 2000. Look at the winners since then and tell me if your ordinary average guy, the guy you watch football with on Sat./Sun., has these movies in his collection: A Beautiful Mind (too mopey), Chicago (a musical), LOTR (maybe, but it is fantasy and it beat out an actual sports movie), Million Dollar Baby (some sports fans probably got caught up in the hype and saw this...and I'm guessing they never watched it again--too much morality), and Crash (like watching two hours of instant replay challenges).
So enjoy it this morning fellas, it'll probably be another five years before we unwashed masses get another movie that we'd actually watch that wins. "Heavy lies the crown."
Allow me to be vain for the next 800-odd words. I have a wedding this weekend.
Not mine, rather that of friend and former teammate from college. In an eerie parallel to my actual college basketball career, I’ll be suiting up for the JV team on Saturday as an usher rather than groomsman, but that’s fine. I’m good at finding the bench, spent lots of time on one back in the glory days so I’m sure I’ll be sensational. I’m more than happy to just continue on as a role player, slapping the floor and letting the starting five have the spotlight. It’s hotter at the front of the church, anyway.
What does concern me, however, is the news I received a few weeks back informing me that the rehearsal and subsequent dinner were going to feature a sports theme and attendees should plan to wear their favorite jersey.
Corny or cool? I’m not really sure, but I feel like it will divide pretty evenly along party lines.
This is the bride’s side. Note the anger. They’ve been robbed of a semi-formal opportunity. A reason for a new shawl or something of the sort.
This is the groom’s side. Note the indifference. They can’t even appreciate the fact that they’re wearing the same salsa-stained jersey they had on for the Super Bowl whereas normally they'd be wearing a tie.
Regardless, this whole jersey thing will be simply a small piece of flair pinned to the apron of nuptial bliss that hopefully commences on Saturday. Twenty years from now it will be worthy o####uffaw and right now it’s probably just an important packing reminder for the people flying in.
But in my case, this is precisely the situation that causes borderline dementia. I obsess about obsessing over matters such as this. I’m a passionate consumer and sports merchandise connoisseur. I worship at the altar of Eastbay.
Which is to say: I have a lot of jerseys, and nearly all of them are just short of being old enough to be cool in any vintage sense. When Shane sent me the friendly reminder this week, I don’t think he understood the ramifications. It’s not friendly to place this sort of pressure on a friend. I still have to get him a gift, remember to bring black dress socks, and wash the clothes I need for the weekend.
None of that will likely happen until I decide on my favorite jersey of the week. (Forget all-time, which, I believe, is implied by the “favorite” title. Do I sound capable of deciding that now or ever? Nobody will ever know I simply chose my favorite of the week.)
Or, more accurately, what you chose. Yes, that’s what this whole exhausting preamble is about. Since I can’t stop dithering, I’m leaving the ultimate jersey choice up to you. Below I will outline the choices, with visual accompaniment where applicable, and based on your comments (i.e. votes) we will eventually decide on a winner.
Ultimately what I’m looking for is a dash of uniqueness, a pinch of uni snobbery and a good dose of humor. With that in mind, on to the contenders...
Ex Vesti Brandon Vogel
Boston Bruins alternate c. 1997
This wedding will consist almost solely of college friends who I've seen sporadically over the past four years, so the first thing they usually think when seeing me is: "Damn, still strikingly handsome and fit." But the second thing they probably think is, "he's in Boston still, right?" This jersey confirms that notion and eases small talk.
Plus: Always loved the quizzical look the bear maintained. In an age where most logos looks like an angry cartoon, this Bruin actually looks somewhat natural.
Minus: The awful fragmented striping. Please align your printer next time.
USA Basketball #9 Jordan 1992
Remember when USA Basketball was an excitement rather than embarrassment? This is the first jersey in my vast collection of Champion replicas and I urge you to weigh all your options before voting, but this jersey has already beaten out two other Jordans: the black mid-90's alternate and the white "Return of" jersey, #45.
Plus: It's not Christian Laettner's jersey.
Minus: It's not Christian Laettner's jersey.
US Soccer alternate 2006
Sticking with the patriotic theme we have the most unique jersey of the bunch. I detailed my love affair with the "Don't Tread on Me" campaign about a month before the World Cup started, and even after such a toothless showing I still love the sentiment. Sharp looking jersey. 1 of 2006.
Plus: Western Nebraska conservatives love patriotism.
Minus: Western Nebraska conservatives hate soccer.
Denver Nuggets #55 Mutombo c. 1992
Another Champion replica, but it looks nothing like the one pictured here. It has the odd left-chest number placement and the crappy font near the hem, but the love it or loathe it Lego-rainbow skyline is shockingly absent. Just a vast sea of blue where the Mile High City should be. The technology for printing such a technicolor logogasm on cheap mesh didn't exist back then.
Plus: Man still does not fly in the house of Mutombo.
I'm actually thinking about being THAT guy. The high school glory days guy. The wear your own jersey guy. I see these people everytime I visit the hometown watering hole and I've always wanted to try that approach on for size. Just for a night. Since photographic evidence is shockingly non-existent, the jersey is black with a white number outlined in red, white paw printes on the shoulders and red and white stripes on the sleeves.
Plus: It still smells and tastes like chili dogs outside the Tastee-Freeze.
Minus: Remember that play-off game? We had 'em!!
Cleveland Cavaliers #1 Brandon c. 1997
The last Champion replica and hands down the ugliest of the bunch. Times were good back in 1997 for Terrell Brandon. He was an SI cover boy and averaging nearly 20 per. Too bad he had to wear a big brushstroke of electric blue paint across his chest. Despite it's putridity, this was always one of my favorites. It had an underappreciated cool thanks to Brandon's presence, and my first name just happened to be Brandon. Still amazes me how well that worked out.
Plus: Call me Cleveland fans when LeBron ever gets his own SI cover and we'll talk about updating.
Minus: At 24 Brandon was the next Tim Hardaway. At 30 he was David Wesley. (courtesy: basketball-reference.com) The jersey may have depreciated as well.
That's the Sweet Six. Leave your votes in the comments section. Voting ends Thursday at high noon, which is about as long as I can delay packing.
I promise that I'm looking at the Super Bowl from more than just a musical context. There are a number of important issues on the table that I have yet to rule on like: what to eat (ribs or wings), where to get said foodstuff (too many contenders to name), what to drink (Old Style isn't available up here, but I need something vaguely Chicagoan) and the exact wardrobe for Super Sunday (the Payton away jersey has gotten us this far, but do I need the Bears Zubaz overnighted from home too?)
As you can see, I'm dealing with a lot of heavy stuff here.
And on top of all that, I decided today that I needed to make a Super Bowl XLI mixtape. This all started two years ago when I was preparing to attend my first Kentucky Derby with friends and I commemorated the occasion by creating a CD to get us from Nashville to Louisville on race day. Spurred by its success, last year saw the release of volume two and preparation has already begun for volume three (in loving memory of Barbaro).
I'm not saying that I'm the T Bone Burnett of sporting event soundtracks but I'm working on it. Of course, there are a few guidelines to follow:
--You only get one "so cheesy it's cool" song. It would be easy enough to start with "The Super Bowl Shuffle" and then add all the usual songs associated with Miami (Will Smith, Gloria Estefan, Vanilla Ice). You'd be halfway done but nobody would want to listen your CD. One can give a little comic relief.
--Don't underestimate feel and emotion. It's surprisingly hard to collect 80 minutes worth of music around theme without any explanation. There will be songs that don't seem connected to the event in any immediate sense, but can still significantly add to the album's overall tone. Which is to say...
--No connection is too tenuous. There will be songs about football. There will be songs about Miami and Chicago but not Indianapolis. (1. They don't exist, and 2. This is MY tape.) There will be songs from artists from Miami and Chicago but not Indiana (sorry Cougs, see #2 above). There will be songs from artists who are on a Chicago label, but that's just to justify Bobby Bare Jr.'s inclusion.
--All other standard rules for mixtape compilation apply as set out in High Fidelity.
Super Bowl XLI - The Album
Pregame
1. "The Air Tonight" - Phil Collins Over on Ty Hildenbrandt's blog, he and I were discussing the merits of this song as a football highlight track and after I saw it used at the Nebraska football camp in 8th grade I've never been to able hear it any other way. The odds that you'll hear this song at some point during the broadcast are pretty good.
2. "Banned in the USA" - 2 Live Crew It's not quite the National Anthem, but I wanted to give a nod to the guys who put Miami rap music on the map. It's tough to find a song clean enough in their category that won't get us a parental advisory sticker, but this one is safe. (Which reminds me, since I've finally reached an age that should prevent any repercussions, I have a confession to make: In 6th grade one of my best friends snuck a copy of Nasty as they Wanna Be onto the bus for our field trip and we listened to it for three hours straight. As far as I can tell, we all turned out fine.)
1st Quarter
3. Little Ole Wine Drinker Me - Dean Martin Probably one of my favorites out of Deano. Here's why: in the song Dean is in a bar in Chicago praying it will rain in California so the grapes will receive ample moisture, ensuring a good crop that will result in more wine. That's hardcore.
4. Da Superfan Shuffle - Da SuperfansYou didn't think I'd actually use "The Super Bowl Shuffle" did you? This might be better as it combines the Superfans and the shuffle into one.
5. "99 Problems" - Jay-Z + Danger Mouse This one's for Tank.
2nd Quarter
6. "Don't Take Your Guns To Town" - Johnny Cash I try, and am usually able, to tie in a Cash song to every mix I make and this is another one for Mr. Johnson. In fact, the Tank Johnson mixtape practically compiles itself.
7. "My Kind of Town" - Frank Sinatra You can't overestimate "people who smile at you," especially when Tank Johnson lives in your city. (Last one, I swear.)
8. "Where is My Mind" - Bobby Bare Jr. I have a feeling Rex is going to start slowly like he did in the NFC Championship game, so don't be surprised Bears fans if your asking this very question as we go into the half.
Halftime
9. "I Could Never Take the Place of Your Man" - Prince Gotta do it. Bomani Jones convinced me today that Prince might actually be old after all.
10. "When U Were Mine" - Crooked Fingers It's tough to top the man himself, but this banjo-driven dirge is a fine cover for the lull before the second half.
3rd Quarter
11. "Cocktails" - Robbie Fulks Now that we're halfway through the game, it seems like the perfect time for a cautionary tale about over consumption--thanks, Dean--from one of Chicago's alt-country giants.
12. "I'm Afraid of Americans" - David Bowie I can only assume that the millions of overseas viewers watching perhaps their only American sporting event of the year must feel quite similar to Mr. Stardust in this song. Watching 300-pound genetic freaks smash into each other for four hours will do that.
13. "It Was Supposed to be So Easy" - The Streets I'm hoping that this is what Dwight Freeny is thinking as the 3rd comes to a close. Also, the song is an apt description of what your pregame activities should NOT entail on Sunday. Get all of this stuff out of the way on Saturday.
4th Quarter
14. "Under Pressure" - Queen & David Bowie Who is feeling it more? Peyton or Rex? I'm not getting any closer than this to "Ice Ice Baby," A1A shout out or not.
15. "Decoration Day" - Drive-by Truckers My absolute favorite song about burial. I only hope that midway through the 4th it's appropriate in the right context.
16. "Sonho Dourado" - Daniel Lanois If you haven't heard the Friday Night Lights soundtrack yet, I urge you to do so. This is the song that plays when mighty Permian goes down and it's exactly the song I want to hear when Peyton unsnaps his chinstrap for the final time this season.
Postgame
17. "One Big Holiday" - My Morning Jacket The song I want to hear while the Bears celebrate, and finally...
18. "Sweet Home Chicago" - Robert Johnson The song you will hear should the Bears be celebrating. Logic says The Blues Bros. here, but this dude made a deal with the devil. Can't beat that.
So there you have it. A loosely based, Chicago-centric Super Bowl XLI soundscape. I've got five copies left and should there actually be five people out there interested in obtaining one feel free to email me and I'll send you a hand-numbered copy via good ol' fashioned US Mail. (First come, first served. No international orders.)
And if things go well, there will be more to come in the future. The NBA's debut in Las Vegas next month will almost certainly be commemorated in addition to the aforementioned Derby disc, so if you have any ideas for songs about horses or bourbon please pass them along. The well is running dry.
In a number of ways, Super Bowl XLI feels like the first time for me. I've never truly experienced the game from an invested fan's perspective and it's lead to some interesting internal questions. For example: why can't the NFL sell a decent looking hat?
Since I was 12, I've been sporting the same script "Bears" hat (similar to this one, only 15 years older) and I made a deal with myself that if Chicago made it to the Super Bowl I would upgrade my headwear in celebration and support of such a magnificent achievement.
The requirements for said hat were simple: it can't be orange, it should feature the classic 'C' and that alone, writing or small graphics on the back are acceptable but the sides must be unmarred, and no stupid striping would be permitted especially on the bill. It was to be the sort of cap, navy and unstructured, that I figured would be available in every gas station between Rockford and Carbondale and just a few mouse clicks away on-line.
Nope. Everything seems to look painfully similar to this, but maybe karma will reward me in the long run. Changing your gamer before the big game might not have been the best idea anyway.
But in the twisted sort of logic that defines my daily existence, I next began to wonder if simply buying Prince's "When You Were Mine" off iTunes--something I've been meaning to do for months--would be an ample show of support for XLI (although I suspect the artist formerly known as The Artist Formerly Known As himself might be a Vikings fan).
You see, aside from enjoying the lead-up to the game more than ever before, I'm also excited for the halftime show for the first time since I got Bee Bop Bamboozled by Diet Coke's 3-D halftime show in 1989 when I couldn't find the glasses at any of the local retail outlets.
The more that I think about it, Prince might just be the perfect choice for Super Bowl halftime entertainment. He's hot mom tested and hipster approved. Regardless of race, creed, sex or age, everyone agrees that "When Doves Cry" is a damn fine song.
So what took so long? I've always wondered why the NFL insisted on booking their halftime show like they were providing the entertainment for a 40-year class reunion. Aren't 18 to 34-year-old males the "coveted demographic?" Those people don't want to see Sting!
Honestly, I'd have no problem if Prince took up a 10-year residency at the halftime show like some luminary at a Vegas casino, but since that seems unlikely to happen, I've developed some rules for the NFL to follow when considering future candidates for halftime entertainment:
1. If you couldn't see the artist in one of the multi-million dollar commercials then they don't belong on the stage. You know why you didn't see any "Pimp Juice" commercials featuring Nelly during Super Bowl XXXV? Because, despite being the "#1 Selling Hip-Hop Energy Drink," whatever that means, PJ couldn't afford a spot on Super Sunday. Maybe this was an indication of the temporal nature of Nelly's popularity. Just follow the hip-hop and marketing lead here; if it don't make dollars, it don't make sense.
With that said...
2. Give us something slightly on The Edge and I don't mean U2. Prince has songs that would make a porn star blush and that's a large part of his appeal as a Super Bowl performer. Will everything be squeaky clean and family friendly? Probably. But the potential is there for something crazy to happen and in a time where Paul McCartney was praised for being uninteresting the year after Nipplegate, I like that.
3. Nobody enjoys old-timer's games. I love the Rolling Stones and I understand their greatness, but I still have no interest in seeing them in their current state and that's not a statement on their present potency. I'm sure they're still great. They could announce a tour tomorrow and it would sell out within an hour, but everything that made them great happened 30+ years ago. I would've loved to experience the power of the Stones in their prime, but I missed that boat and all the plastic surgery in the world can't convince me otherwise.
I'm sure there are a number of people who will disagree with me on this point, but you can't always get what you want. Sorry.
4. Flavors of the month are just as bad. What do Right Said Fred, 98 Degrees and the Lyte Funky Ones (nee, LFO) have in common? They were all universally crappy and none of them ever appeared at the Super Bowl, but Kriss Kross, Los Del Rio, 'NSYNC and the Backstreet Boys all did. All I'm asking for is a little foresight here, which could be tricky considering that we live in an age where anything that is cool today will be liked by more people tomorrow which makes it totally uncool to the people who initially thought it was cool yesterday, but here's a hint: don't read Pitchfork.com because nobody knows who any of those bands are. Paste or any band currently featured in a car commercial will provide much better options.
In fact, this leads me to scratch Rule No. 1 as I'm pretty sure Lance, JC, Joey, Chris and Justin were shilling for somebody back in the day.
Nevertheless, it shouldn't be that hard going forward. All the NFL needs to find is an artist currently in their prime, possessing an undeniable edginess/sexiness that implies something extraordinary could happen, with enough credibility to appease tastemakers without offending the tasteless, whose best albums weren't all recorded prior to 1980.
But if that's not enough o####uideline to go by, I've taken the liberty of preparing a list of qualifying musicians: Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen, Prince and Willie Nelson.
This wedding will consist almost solely of college friends who I've seen sporadically over the past four years, so the first thing they usually think when seeing me is: "Damn, still strikingly handsome and fit." But the second thing they probably think is, "he's in Boston still, right?" This jersey confirms that notion and eases small talk.
Remember when USA Basketball was an excitement rather than embarrassment? This is the first jersey in my vast collection of Champion replicas and I urge you to weigh all your options before voting, but this jersey has already beaten out two other Jordans: the black mid-90's alternate and the white "Return of" jersey, #45. 
patriotic theme we have the most unique jersey of the bunch. I 
I'm actually thinking about being THAT guy. The high school glory days guy. The wear your own jersey guy. I see these people everytime I visit the hometown watering hole and I've always wanted to try that approach on for size. Just for a night. Since photographic evidence is shockingly non-existent, the jersey is black with a white number outlined in red, white paw printes on the shoulders and red and white stripes on the sleeves. 
I promise that I'm looking at the Super Bowl from more than just a 
The requirements for said hat were simple: it can't be orange, it should feature the classic 'C' and that alone, writing or small graphics on the back are acceptable but the sides must be unmarred, and no stupid striping would be permitted especially on the bill. It was to be the sort of cap, navy and unstructured, that I figured would be available in every gas station between Rockford and Carbondale and just a few mouse clicks away on-line. 
The more that I think about it, Prince might just be the perfect choice for Super Bowl halftime entertainment. He's hot mom tested and hipster approved. Regardless of race, creed, sex or age, everyone agrees that "When Doves Cry" is a damn fine song. 
