Copperhead Road
by: Hanahan
Lionhardt, the Black Knight
Jul 06, 2008 | 5:45PM | report this

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, our tale begins. Our future hero, young Dale of Lionhardt, was born the son of a simple blacksmith, Rolf. Lionhardt, the elder, shoed the jousting steeds and fashioned armor in his back yard under the shade tree. Jousting was a rich man's sport, but Rolf and his commoner friends would get together on Sunday's and joust among themselves. This is where young Dale learned how to handle a horse and lance.

Even though jousting was a rich man's game, young Dale worked two jobs, to get up the money to enter smaller tournaments. He won more than he lost, and rose up through the ranks, leaving two wives along the way, until he made it to the highest level in the land, NASJOUST.

Lionhardt was a natural. No one had ever seen a jouster with such a feel for his horse. And, the lance. If you were not paying close enough attention, not only would he beat you, you would end up in the grass of the infield. The commoners loved Lionhardt. He was one of them, except that he was a winner. The commoners were for the most part, poor, insecure, scared, shoeless, and semi-literate, at best. Lionhardt winning, made them feel better about their lot in life. Remember this was back in the days of plagues and such.

Dale of Lionhardt stayed on top of NASJOUST for about 20 years. He was an eight time season champion. He had been with his third wife, Thriza, for almost 20 years also. His two sons were following in his bootsteps, and jousting as well. Lionhardt had it all, a castle on the hill with a three carriage stable. Dale Lionhardt Limited, DLL, was to be his legacy. A jousting team that he would build from nothing and mold into a championship contender. It was not to be.

Way back in '01, 1601. The biggest joust meet of the year was underway. Lionhardt's two young proteges, Dale the Younger, and Michael the Mouth, were vying for the victory. Lionhardt wanted them to win so bad that he got too close to the action, and caught a wayward lance. He was still wearing the outdated armor that his father had made for him so many years before. It wasn't enough protection this time, and Lionhardt left this mortal coil.

Thriza decided that DLL would continue on, and that Dale the Younger would be the heir apparent to the fallen champion. Young Dale won a few jousts. Usually on a longer joust course that required a special armored breast plate. He, and, to a lesser extent, the Mouth dominated these plate jousts for a short period. Sadly, Thriza showed why women weren't allowed to own businesses back in the days of yore. DLL wouldn't stay up with the competition, and fell on hard times.

Dale the Younger saw this down period as a time to try a semi-hostile takeover. He overplayed his hand and failed to gain his birthright. Thriza also overplayed her hand, though. She thought family ties would be enough to keep young Dale in servitude. But other joust teams were anxious to have Dale on their team. Thriza was the only one in the land who was surprised when Dale went to the best team in NASJOUST, Richard Hendrick Carriages.

Which brings us to the stopping point of this tale. Young Dale has won just one joust, by oat management, up to this part of the story. He and the entire sport of NASJOUST are under siege by a young knight known as Busch the Brash.

To be continued.....

43 Comments | Add a comment   categories: NASCAR, Copperhead Road, Hanahan
 
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klvalus
Jul 6, 2008
6:08 PM
LOL Hanny...all I can say is Young Dale can lance me anytime! Can't wait to hear the end of this fairy tale.

justanotherfan
Jul 6, 2008
6:38 PM
hanahan
I'd like to think once Lil' E gets acclimatized at HMS . Which by all accounts he's not yet fully done. He won't end up with the aspirations of his teammate.

jimmyjohnson

Dale maybe fast on the track but is that fast in the bedroom ?
The concensus is that he's having a successful season thus far. Personally I think that too many people are giving lip service to season by all measures isn't that great. If anything it's average when one considers his pedigree.

See my most recent boxing post titled Name The Fighter ..... ? Let me know what you think as to the merits of the piece ? I'll look forward to reading your comments as and when you're ready.



justan' aka tophatal ...........


Last edited by justanotherfan on July 6th at 6:40 PM.

Forensic2
Jul 6, 2008
7:03 PM
How do I say its awsome and also say I think your walking on thin ice? I guess I just leave it as I said it. lol. Cheers

HotfootLori
Jul 6, 2008
7:40 PM
Ah yes, young Busch the brash has ingested poisons of jousting greatness over time and consumption of his talents by others does not fare them well ...

Good stuff Han-man.

slshusker
Jul 6, 2008
7:45 PM
Hey, this is the end of a holiday weekend and you're going Beowolf on me. Where's the Shakespeare translation.

Anyhoo, happy Monday to be.

Hanahan
Jul 6, 2008
7:55 PM
klv...well, Young Dale is unwed. Maybe chapter 2 will feature a wedding by the Bay. Read Macbeth to see how to take care of husband #1. B^)

Hanahan
Jul 6, 2008
7:56 PM
al...you can't say anything bad about Lil E on my blog. X^)

I'll check out your new post, bro.

Hanahan
Jul 6, 2008
8:00 PM
Fore2...thin ice? It's a fairy tale.

Hanahan
Jul 6, 2008
8:02 PM
Lori...Maybe you should have wrote this. I've been out of school too long.

Hanahan
Jul 6, 2008
8:04 PM
husk...I like your style dude.

The dude abides!

Dwindy1
Jul 6, 2008
8:09 PM
Sir Hanahan... What hast thou wrought? The feverish hordes may descend upon your castle and leave a tongue dragging saliva ridden trail across your drawbridge and into your court!

Does this Busch the Brash use illegally strong mounts while jousting under the very noses of NASJOUST? What sacrilege!

I like it!

Last edited by Dwindy1 on July 6th at 8:15 PM.

photogr
Jul 6, 2008
8:12 PM
I seem to recall this story in time some where. Doesn't he wear a kilt???

Hanahan
Jul 6, 2008
8:26 PM
Dwind...I've heard that the Brash Knight uses up to 50 more horses than the other jousters.

Hanahan
Jul 6, 2008
8:27 PM
photo...only around the castle.

frevr3fan
Jul 6, 2008
10:40 PM
Hanny- That is some good stuff. I thought I was actually reading from the cartoon. I think it was the broken fairy tale or something like that.

I caught Photo and Dwindy out in the backyard practicing for the next segment of your story.
Joust

Last edited by frevr3fan on July 6th at 10:41 PM.

frevr3fan
Jul 6, 2008
10:44 PM
Husk- Is that hippie lettuce that I smelled as I logged into this post?

charrit
Jul 7, 2008
4:51 AM
Han,

Great story, I'll have to use this one to tell my grandchildren for a bedtime story, depending on the outcome of the second installment. HA HA.

Last edited by charrit on July 7th at 4:52 AM.

JOKERSWILD
Jul 7, 2008
5:10 AM
Ah the tales from the Land Of Blogdonia continue I bet if young lionhardt were to switch steeds with Busch the Brash he would have more jousting victories ..

I love Fairytails tell me more Papa Hanna..lol

Hanahan
Jul 7, 2008
6:26 AM
3fan...what's up, bro. I had to think about it for a while. Then it hit me...'Fractured Fairy Tales' from Bullwinkle cartoons. Yes, it is a Fractured Fairy Tale, fo sho. Good call.

Hanahan
Jul 7, 2008
6:29 AM
charrit...I can guarantee that 'The Princess Bride' will be much better for the grandkids.

Hanahan
Jul 7, 2008
6:34 AM
JW...Do you really think that Dale the Younger could handle all that horse power?

No more story until you finish your peas and carrots, drink all your milk, and brush your teeth.

gonger93
Jul 7, 2008
6:42 AM
Great tale of Dale Earnhardt and his story. I wonder if there will ever be a Dale of Lionhardt, III.

justanotherfan
Jul 7, 2008
7:18 AM
hanahan
I think that you might appreciate these little ditties on NASCAR . Make of 'em whaty you will.



nascardevotion
A genuine NASCAR fan or not ?



nascarfans

A typical day out on the beach for the avid NASCAR fans who happen to be husband and wife.




If we can't laugh at ourselves at times then the world isn't a better place afterall.


justan' aka tophatal ........

Hanahan
Jul 7, 2008
8:19 AM
gonger...thanks for checking it out. Dale III? Might have to have that in a future chapter.

Hanahan
Jul 7, 2008
8:23 AM
al...funny stuff. But I have a rule...Only one pic per comment. And no nudity, even cartoons. You can email me all the (female) nudity you want. You know how Fox Admin is with me and you.

JOKERSWILD
Jul 7, 2008
8:34 AM
Hanahan do I think He could handle all that horsepower? -lol- Im sure he would give it his best effort.

Top that cartoon is just nasty

SpeedBeagle20
Jul 7, 2008
9:47 AM
Wonderful! I have a Bachelor's degree in Medieval history, and I am also a history teacher. Every year when I have to teach the Middle Ages, I use NASCAR to illustrate feudalsim. A friend of mine says that I should go back and get a master's, and write my thesis on comparing NASCAR to a feudal society.

moseby
Jul 7, 2008
10:53 AM
Black Knight? How could he be the Black Knight?

You are the Black Knight! Geez, we can't have everyone around here pretending to be someone they aint.

"oat management" - C-L-A-S-S-I-C

moseby
Jul 7, 2008
10:58 AM
BTW - Saw "Fried Food Paradise" on the Travel Channel last week. They mentioned DYER'S in Memphis for their burgers. They still fry in the grease saved from when they opened in 1912. You ever get there?

Also, agree that Swann is OVERRATED, but Bradshaw wasn't. John Stallworth has always been UNDERRATED.

Hanahan
Jul 7, 2008
11:29 AM
SB20...I might need your help to finish this story. I thought a feudal society refered to Hatfield v McCoy.

Hanahan
Jul 7, 2008
11:36 AM
moseby...sorry the title was supposed to be...Lionhardt, by the Black Knight.

Nope, have not been to Dyer's. But grease that's almost 100 years old will be worth the trip. I'll check it out. If you don't hear back from me, call Memphis St Jude's Hospital.

Ah yes, another football blog that I wasted ny time arguing with idiots on. What about Franco?

moseby
Jul 7, 2008
11:46 AM
Franco did run out of bounds a lot, as you mentioned. That always bothered me. He was a clutch player though. Especially in the big games. He actually was a better blocker than the pundits gave him credit for. I'll say it was a wash. But he is not among the Jim Brown, OJ,Payton, Barry Sanders or Emmitt Smith type's. He is in the grade below.

SpeedBeagle20
Jul 7, 2008
2:14 PM
Hanahan- Hatfield v. McCoy is a feuding society.

Seriously though, if you need advice before the next installment, just shoot me a FOXmail. I'll be glad to help.

chuxtory
Jul 7, 2008
2:52 PM
I'm trying to put the acronym in NASJOUST for you.

N ot
A nywhere near the
S ubpar
J unk
yOu see
U Sed
T oday

ewww..... first draft. I'll keep working on it.

blue@orange
Jul 7, 2008
3:42 PM
Dont you mean the Young Court Jester Bush ??

Hanahan
Jul 7, 2008
4:47 PM
SB20...thanks. I need more vocabulary from back then.

Hanahan
Jul 7, 2008
4:48 PM
chux... I guess that will do until you come up with a better one.

Hanahan
Jul 7, 2008
4:50 PM
blue....why are you always trying to put Jokers out of a job?

volfan69
Jul 7, 2008
5:40 PM
Hanny, I was so caught up in my story today that I didn't see this. Man, this is great. You are a MASTER! I love it. I really needed a good laugh. Thank you. I can hardly wait for the next part.

volfan69
Jul 7, 2008
6:07 PM
Hanahan, thanks for always being so honest and upfront with me. I appreciate you.

Texascudaguy
Jul 7, 2008
6:10 PM
I thought jon Claude Van Damme was Lionheart.lol..

Great Story. Now how am i going ot do a Star Trek sequel if Jr is way back somewhere in Medieval times. Time to dust off the Delorean again.

Hanahan
Jul 7, 2008
6:14 PM
volfan...your welcome, I think. I always try and tell the truth. As I see it anyway. I kid around and tease a lot, but I try to do it without malice. Some people don't get it, but that's their problem not mine. It's my pleasure to call you friend.

Hanahan
Jul 7, 2008
6:17 PM
cuda...glad to see you made it back from the future. Might have to send the Enterprise back to get the boys of NASJOUST.

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