Over at Yahoo, they did a piece called, "America's Ten Worst Cities to be a Sports Fan." Of course, the headline on the main page was accompanied by a picture of a fan sitting in the stands with a paper bag over his head, something that has been done so many times by now that it should be considered the Madonna of sports cliches, topped only by (maybe) that silly "DE-" and then the picture of a fence which apparently has been mandated by law to be featured at every professional and college football game in the country.

I mean, really. The bag over the head thing was funny and original back in the seventies when poor, beleaguered New Orleans Saints fans were doing it, but where has the originality gone? Archie Manning's kids are now playing in the NFL; can't we find a new way to show our disgust with the home team?

Anyway, in this article at Yahoo, the author "compared the latest median household income figures from the Census Bureau to the Fan Cost Index for each team compiled by Team Marketing...Those ratios were then compared to team performance, with regular season won-lost records and playoff outcomes combined for all teams in a given city."

Got all that?

No? Me neither, although their fancy formula determined that the city of Miami is currently the worst place to be a professional sports fan in America, so it must have something going for it. Undoubtedly Cam Cameron wouldn't argue with that assessment; not after going 1-15 in his only season as head coach of the Dolphins.

But, really, as sports fans, arent we all accustomed to failure? If you follow teams in any of the four so-called major professional sports - baseball, football, basketball and hockey - which is what Yahoo's writers considered in their analysis, then you can't really be completely happy with your team's season unless they won their league's championship, right? And you can throw college football and Nascar into the mix, too, since they have championships of their own.

The team almost universally considered to be the most successful ever, with the longest and most storied history, would be the New York Yankees of Major League Baseball. They've won an astonishing 26 world championships since 1900, nearly triple the number won by the next-most-successful team, the St. Louis Cardinals.

Impressive numbers, until you consider the fact that by winning 26 times in 108 years, they've lost 82 times! 26 championships in 108 years means they have been ultimately successful just 24% of the time, zero percent in the last eight years; no wonder Hank Steinbrenner seems so upset all the time.

You could argue with my choice of team to use as an example - the Montreal Canadiens of the NHL and the Boston Celtics of the NBA are also widely considered to be the most successful in their league's history - but the point is still the same: even these teams with such great traditions of winning championships have lost a lot more than they've won.

When you think about it, it's really a wonder we all don't wear bags on our heads. It's not easy being a sports fan.

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If youlove fiction and have a few minutes to spare, check out my website, www.allanleverone.com                    
                                          

Ah, yes, it's the oldest story in the book. Guy goes out for a few cocktails to unwind, forgets to arrange for a designated driver and then figures, what the hell, it's only a few miles to the house, I'll hop in the ol' 2004 BMW and drive home, I'm sure everything will be fine, my reflexes are actually better after drinking because I'm paying closer attention!

Guy then crashes into a fence and flees the scene on foot because, after all, he had a few too many, finishes off his Big Adventure by roughing up a neighbor, then manages to avoid authorities for nearly two months before they figure out where he works and issue an arrest warrant for him at his place of business.

All this happened to former St. Louis Cardinal Scott Spiezio, who ran afoul of the law on December 30 and was released by the Cards February 27 after the team learned of the outstanding warrant.

I know, I know, innocent until proven guilty, blah, blah, blah. Is there anyone who really believes it didn't happen pretty much exactly as written?

The warrant was withdrawn after Spiezio's attorney appeared in court, and Spiezio himself is now due in court March 26 for arraignment on charges of driving under the influence, driving under the influence with a blood alcohol content of .08 or more, hit and run, aggravated assault, and assault and battery.

Spiezio's attorney was quick to point out the charges are "misdemeanors," all five of them, although according to the Associated Press the maximum possible penalty would be two years in state prison.

The Cardinals cut bait quickly, undoubtedly reasoning it's not worth dealing with the thorny legal problems of a utility infielder when there are plenty of them around who aren't facing two years in the big house. And it's not like this is Spiezio's first brush with substance abuse. He missed nearly half the season last year, partially due to treatment for that exact issue.

The incredible part of the whole story is this: The St. Louis organization is responsible for Scott Spiezio's entire $2.3 million salary for this season, plus they're on the hook for a $100,000 buyout of the option they held on his contract for next year, meaning he gets free money, millions of dollars worth of free money, thanks to his alleged reckless and dangerous behavior.

I work in a career field where I am subject to drug and alcohol testing. If I am caught in an impaired state, my employer is obligated contractually to offer me rehabilitation at my own expense, provided I agree to some fairly rigid restrictions.

Assuming I successfully complete rehab, if I then test positive again - ever - or am involved in a situation like Scott Spiezio's, guess what happens to me? Here's a hint: It involves looking for gainful employment Super-Sizing french fries, and without any million-dollar golden parachute, either.

I don't begrudge Scott Spiezio whatever money he can make by playing baseball. If he's good enough to be one of the 750 or so best in the world at his job, good luck to him.

But ask yourself this: How long would you have to work in your career field to earn $2.4 million (Just so you don't have to strain too hard, if you make $50,000 a year, a pretty decent salary, it will take you 48 years to get there), and now picture Spiezio getting punished for running away from an accident in which he was driving imparied, then beating up his neighbor, by being handed $2.4 million.

Oh, sure, he's going to suffer some embarrassment. But if you think Scott Spiezio will serve any jail time you're crazy, and if some team thinks he can help them win, he'll be right back in a major league dugout once this mess goes away. Hopefully it won't be in your city, though, because the next time he decides to hop in the ol' Bimmer and drive home trashed, your son or daughter could be walking to school.

Randy Moss this past week ripped some of his Oakland Raider teammates for not playing hard. That's right, no need to hurry off to Lenscrafters to change the prescription in your glasses in one hour or less, you read the name correctly, Randy Moss. The same guy who, when he was in Minnesota, admitted to taking plays off when he knew the ball wasn't coming his way; the same guy who said, "I play when I want to play," accused certain teammates of not giving their all, implying that part of the reason for the Raiders' 0-4 start was a lack of hustle.

The Bright Side: There is no bright side here. When Randy Moss says there is a lack of hustle on your team, you've got problems. Big problems.

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The Los Angeles Dodgers find themselves quickly down two games to none in their best of five playoff series with the New York Mets. Manager Grady Little, whistling past the graveyard, said, "We've found ourselves in this position before and found a way to win. We've just got to win three in a row." Little's impeccable math skills notwithstanding, the Dodgers are done.

The Bright Side: Los Angeles didn't give away two outs, or 7.4% of their total for the game, on one play at the plate yesterday, so that's a start.

Bonus Bright Side: Little won't have to struggle with the decision of whether to remove his tiring starter late in Game Seven of the League Championship Series with a slim lead. Dodger fans everywhere can breathe a sigh of relief.

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The St. Louis Cardinals played more like the Arizona Cardinals down the stretch, stumbling into the playoffs as the NL Central winner after doing their best to give the division away during a horrible second half.

The Bright Side: The Cards get to play the San Diego Padres in their divisional series, a team they've now beaten eight straight times in the postseason after winning the first two games in their best of five series. The Cardinals will move into the NLCS by winning one more game.

**********

Alex Rodriguez, who many observers feel needs to have a big postseason to restore some of the luster to his image, has gone just 1-8 with four strikeouts in the first two games of the Yankees division series against Detroit.

The Bright Side: At least the nickname, "Mr. May," is already taken by Dave Winfield.

**********

The NFL game this coming Sunday getting all the attention is the big NFC East matchup between Philadelphia and Dallas, thanks to the T.O. factor. Unfortunately for football fans everywhere, lost in the hype about return to Philly of Terrell Overdose is the fact that this should be a tough divisional battle between two good teams, with the winner getting a leg up in the division.

The Bright Side: Once this game is over, we won't have to listen to the Owens vs. Eagles hype again until Christmas. What a great present that'll be.

The 2006 major league baseball interleague schedule draws to a close tonight and not a moment too soon for the National League, which collectively has been beaten up and had their lunch money taken away by the American League this year. If play had continued for much longer, the NL may have been in danger of seeing all its teams fall under .500 for the season.

As of this moment, in head-to-head competition, the American League stands a whopping 57 games over .500 for the season, at 152-95. This translates into a .615 winning percentage, or looked at another way, 100 wins in a 162-game season.

The National League has performed so woefully against the AL this season, their winning percentage would be worse than every team in the majors in 2005 with the exception of Kansas City. And it's not just the AL elite beating up on the NL's weak sisters, everyone is getting into the act. The Kansas City Royals, widely and rightfully considered one of the worst teams in baseball, have compiled a very respectable 10-8 record in this year's interleague play.

On the other hand, the three best teams in the National League based on their records to date (New York, St. Louis, and Cincinnati) managed just a 17-27 record against their American League opponents, for a pathetic .386 winning percentage.

The result of this old-fashioned butt-whupping is a statistical oddity: Of the teams with the seven best records in the major leagues to this point, only one plays in the National League. Here are the top seven teams as of July 2:

1 - Detroit Tigers, 56-26 .683
2 - Chicago White Sox, 53-28 .654
3 - Boston Red Sox, 50-29 .633
4 - New York Mets, 48-32 .600
5 - New York Yankees, 45-33 .577
6 - Toronto Blue Jays, 46-35 .568
7 - Minnesota Twins, 45-35 .563

Now, I'm no statistician, but this kind of dominance exhibited over a 247-game sample size appears pretty significant. And it shouldn't really come as a big surprise to anyone; the signs that the American League is playing a higher quality of ball than the National League have been there for quite some time.

Consider this. The American League representative has won ten of the last fourteen World Series dating back to 1992, including the last two, in which the NL representative didn't even win so much as a single game! In All-Star Game competitions, the gap is even more noticeable, with the AL winning 13 of the last 16 contests, not including the disgraceful tie game in 2002.

So what does all this mean? Is the American League so dominant that the NL players should stay home for the All-Star break licking their wounds? Of course not, but in this case the statistics most definitely do not lie - better baseball is being played right now in the American League, and has been for some time.