Big news today, at least for us Catholics - The Vatican has released a list of updated sins appropriate for the modern era. I must say that this seems more than a little unfair. After all, avoiding the previous Seven Deadly Sins was hard enough, but to now add another seven to the list - doubling it - well, let's just say it's going to get mighty lonely up there in heaven if we're not careful.
And how is it fair that my forefathers only had to avoid the traditional Seven if they wanted to get their tickets punched to the eternal reward in the sky and now I have all these other ones to worry about, too?
In any event, the part of this Vatican story that didn't get a lot of press was the fact that the Pope, recognizing what an important part sports plays in modern society, has thoughtfully issued an additional five "Sports Commandments" as an addendum to the original Ten we all already know so well.
Interestingly, in an attempt to show the church can keep up with the modern world, these Sports Commandments have been issued in a countdown format, much like Sportscenter's Top Plays. Since I know how busy most people are and that you may not have had a chance to review these Commandments yet in their entirety, here they are for your perusal:
Top Five Sports Commandments
5) Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's head coach. Not sure why they would stick with the "thous" and "shalts" if they're trying to modernize, but, hey, who am I to criticize? Anyway, this one sounds fairly straightforward, but it seems a lot of college and professional teams might already be in big trouble, and we're only at Number Five. No one said it would be easy.
4) Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighboring team. This is getting a little stickier. Number Five was straightforward, why cloak Number Four in such mystery? I think this one maybe relates to that little videotaping issue the Patriots are facing. Goodell said he was going to get tough, but this is ridiculous. Who knew he had such influence with the Man Upstairs?
3) Thou shalt not steal signs. Hmm. Seems to be a trend developing here. If Matt Walsh is named specifically in any of these, I fear for Coach Belichick's eternal soul. There seems to be a baseball application here also. Who among us hasn't tried to figure out all those gyrations the guy with the helmet in the third base coaches box is doing? And batters trying to sneak a glance back at the catcher's signs while waiting for the pitch? Forget it. Never again, baby.
2) Thou shalt watch sports in HD. Now we're getting somewhere! If you are having a little trouble convincing the wife to spend $2000 or more that you don't have on a new big-screen HDTV, this might be just the thing to turn the tide in your favor. Nobody wants to be turned away at the pearly gates because they tried to watch LSU win the National Championship on a twelve inch black and white with broken rabbit ears. Surround sound seems to be optional, since it's not specifically mentioned.
1) Honor thy father and mother. Also Charlie Weis. I guess this answers the question about how long the big guy will have his job. Weis, that is, not God. We already knew God has His job for life and so now, apparently, does Charlie. It seems the "Pope for life" gig has worked out so well, that they're willing to try the same thing with the Notre Dame football head coaching job.
The Pittsburgh Steelers players will never come out and publically admit that the big victory guarantee issued by safety Anthony Smith (You know, the guy who kept getting burned for touchdowns in the Steelers 34-13 loss to New England) was a negative thing, or in any way affected the team. Something about team unity, and all that.
But don't you wonder how many veteran guys on that team went up to Smith at some point during the week and told him to keep his mouth shut next time and do his talking on the field? Of course, based on his play, if he had done his talking on the field, about all he would have said is, "I surrender."
Jim Nantz and Phil Simms on the air late in the game were talking about how many of the Steelers felt Smith's guarantee was a "Win-Win" for Pittsburgh, but I'm not buying that for a second. If it was such a great strategy, then why wasn't a veteran guy with some credibility saying it - someone like, say, Troy Polamalu?
I'll tell you why. Because it was stupid in the extreme. Because veteran guys like Polamalu know how hard it is to beat good teams on the road in the NFL, even if you're a good team yourself, which Pittsburgh definitely is.
Here's the point. With the Steelers depleted at the safety position thanks to Polamalu's knee injury, and with the Patriots dangerous passing attack, it only stood to reason that they were going to try to pick on Smith anyway. He's a guy with very little experience and the Patriots, like every NFL team, always go for the weak link.
But by making himself the center of attention, Smith guaranteed that he was in for a long day, and guaranteed that the Patriots would keep trying to burn him long after the issue had been decided.
Earlier in the week, during a segment on SportsCenter, Marcellus Wiley, the former NFL defensive end, was asked what his response would have been if Smith were on his team and had issued such a silly challenge to a 12-0 team. He said that he and a few other linemen would have dragged Smith into the shower and beaten him down.
Do you think there are a few veterans on that Steeler team who might have done just that? I sure do. Again, it's hard enough to win on the road against a good team in the NFL without giving them extra reason to pick on you.
And please don't give me that tired defense that of course Smith would say what he said; that what player would take the field thinking they were going to lose? I have no problem with any of his comments, other than the guarantee of victory. If he had said, "If we play the way we are capable of playing, we can beat New England," no one would have lifted an eyebrow.
But when you start issuing guarantees and making yourself the story, that's when alarm bells start going off, not just in the opposing locker room but in your own as well, assuming there are some strong-willed veterans who can keep control of that locker room.
Football is a sport that, more than any other, requires players to channel emotion into their performance. Anthony Smith guaranteed that the Patriots would approach this game with even more emotion than they otherwise would have, and that's why and how he hurt his team Sunday afternoon, even more than with his play on the field.
Hey everyone, I know it must seem like I've dropped off the face of the earth, but it's nothing like that.
I've been busy writing - two full-length novels so far, plus over a dozen short stories - and working hard to try to get an agent. If you are curious and have a few minutes, check out my website, www.allanleve rone.com.
If you're a literary agent or if you know one, by all means contact me! In the meantime, I'll be here when I can - love this forum - and as always, thank you for checking out my blog, especially considering how many great ones you could be reading instead....
