Over at Yahoo, they did a piece called, "America's Ten Worst Cities to be a Sports Fan." Of course, the headline on the main page was accompanied by a picture of a fan sitting in the stands with a paper bag over his head, something that has been done so many times by now that it should be considered the Madonna of sports cliches, topped only by (maybe) that silly "DE-" and then the picture of a fence which apparently has been mandated by law to be featured at every professional and college football game in the country.

I mean, really. The bag over the head thing was funny and original back in the seventies when poor, beleaguered New Orleans Saints fans were doing it, but where has the originality gone? Archie Manning's kids are now playing in the NFL; can't we find a new way to show our disgust with the home team?

Anyway, in this article at Yahoo, the author "compared the latest median household income figures from the Census Bureau to the Fan Cost Index for each team compiled by Team Marketing...Those ratios were then compared to team performance, with regular season won-lost records and playoff outcomes combined for all teams in a given city."

Got all that?

No? Me neither, although their fancy formula determined that the city of Miami is currently the worst place to be a professional sports fan in America, so it must have something going for it. Undoubtedly Cam Cameron wouldn't argue with that assessment; not after going 1-15 in his only season as head coach of the Dolphins.

But, really, as sports fans, arent we all accustomed to failure? If you follow teams in any of the four so-called major professional sports - baseball, football, basketball and hockey - which is what Yahoo's writers considered in their analysis, then you can't really be completely happy with your team's season unless they won their league's championship, right? And you can throw college football and Nascar into the mix, too, since they have championships of their own.

The team almost universally considered to be the most successful ever, with the longest and most storied history, would be the New York Yankees of Major League Baseball. They've won an astonishing 26 world championships since 1900, nearly triple the number won by the next-most-successful team, the St. Louis Cardinals.

Impressive numbers, until you consider the fact that by winning 26 times in 108 years, they've lost 82 times! 26 championships in 108 years means they have been ultimately successful just 24% of the time, zero percent in the last eight years; no wonder Hank Steinbrenner seems so upset all the time.

You could argue with my choice of team to use as an example - the Montreal Canadiens of the NHL and the Boston Celtics of the NBA are also widely considered to be the most successful in their league's history - but the point is still the same: even these teams with such great traditions of winning championships have lost a lot more than they've won.

When you think about it, it's really a wonder we all don't wear bags on our heads. It's not easy being a sports fan.

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If youlove fiction and have a few minutes to spare, check out my website, www.allanleverone.com                    
                                          

Anyone who has ever played sports at any level has probably heard this from a coach at one time or another: "It doesn't take any talent to hustle!"

I heard this repeatedly when I was playing baseball, telling me that:

A) The coaches appreciated my hard-nosed style of play, the fact that my uniform was always dirty, and the fact that I never gave up on any ball, no matter where it was hit, OR,

B) They recognized that I had no appreciable talent for the game.

Although it's kind of a backwards compliment, like telling your date she's the prettiest girl at the dance when you're the first couple to arrive, there's still a lot of truth to the statement - All it takes to bust it down the line on a ground ball is the desire to do so, and sometimes that little bit of effort makes all the difference in the world.

This is why I love the right side of the Boston Red Sox infield so much. Kevin Youkilis and Dustin Pedroia are both straight out of the Trot Nixon-Mike Greenwell mold. They will dive, run into and sometimes through walls, hustle out ground balls, and always give 100%, a rarity in the world of professional sports, where so many players seem to think it's more important to preen and showboat than to do their utmost to help their team win.

For Pedroia, a little guy who has a home run hitter's swing and yet makes consistent contact with the best in the league, that work ethic has produced a current streak of hits in 28 consecutive road games. Not that impressive, you say? No Boston player has a longer such streak since Tris Speaker in 1915!

To put that into a little historical perspective, the last time a Red Sox player had a longer road hitting streak than Pedroia, Woodrow Wilson was president of the United States and the country was still two years away from entering into World War One. We have had sixteen presidents since then, and at the time of Tris Speaker's streak, Arizona and New Mexico had only entered the union three years prior.

Babe Ruth was a 20 year old kid playing in his first full year in the big leagues, mostly as a pitcher, compiling 217.7 innings pitched and an 18-8 record. Oh yeah, he showed a little promise at the plate too, hitting .315 with four home runs for the Red Sox, who were still four years away from selling him to...well...you know the rest of the story.

Anyway, I bring up this Pedroia streak because the guy is one of those players you hate if he's on the other team but you love if he's on your team, because he's so darned pesky - he's like the bugs buzzing around Joba Chamberlain's head in the playoffs last fall - no matter how hard you try, you just can't get rid of him.
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If you love fiction and have a few minutes to spare, check out my website, www.allanleverone.com

If you have read any of my previous posts in the two-and-a-half years I have been publishing here, off and on, I have a couple of things to say to you:

1) Thank you so much for reading, and

2) You need to get out more.

Anyway, if you've read any of my stuff, you know I love sports and, more importantly, I love the absurdity that goes hand-in-hand with so much that happens in the sporting world.

Take today, for example. I log on to Yahoo! and what do I see? A sports headline that instantly grabs my attention, and not just because it involves Danica Patrick, a young lady who, thanks to the internet, I've seen more of than I saw of my wife until our wedding night.

Here's the Yahoo! headline, word-for-word: "Danica, female spar in pit"

Now, if that doesn't get your imagination working overtime, you must be made of stronger moral fiber than I. I mean, was it a mud pit, a jello pit, what? Were wet t-shirts involved in any way?

Well, it turns out Danica and this anonymous other female sparred on pit road, which, if I were an auto racing fan, I might have guessed, although the story suddenly seems a lot less interesting for that knowledge.

But still, doesn't the headline seem a little off? I mean, I'm pretty sure Danica is a female herself, based on the photos I've seen, and I've given them a pretty thorough going-over. So, shouldn't the headline read "Danica and another female spar in pit"?

And what about this other female? Why does she get to remain anonymous while poor little Danica gets her dirty laundry aired out on Yahoo!? It turns out this "female" Danica Patrick sparred with is Milka Duno, another driver; in fact the only other female driver, at the Honda Indy 200, which is where the confrontation occurred.

Far be it from me to criticize the guy who writes the headlines at Yahoo!, but I think I could have done better. How about this? Duno Wrong in Clash With Danica?

I suppose I'm just giving this too much thought altogether. Maybe it's time to take a break and go check out ESPN's highlights from last year - I can't get enough of T.O.'s teary post-game performance from last November.

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If you love fiction and have a few spare minutes, check out my website, www.allanleverone.com...