If you have read any of my previous posts in the two-and-a-half years I have been publishing here, off and on, I have a couple of things to say to you:

1) Thank you so much for reading, and

2) You need to get out more.

Anyway, if you've read any of my stuff, you know I love sports and, more importantly, I love the absurdity that goes hand-in-hand with so much that happens in the sporting world.

Take today, for example. I log on to Yahoo! and what do I see? A sports headline that instantly grabs my attention, and not just because it involves Danica Patrick, a young lady who, thanks to the internet, I've seen more of than I saw of my wife until our wedding night.

Here's the Yahoo! headline, word-for-word: "Danica, female spar in pit"

Now, if that doesn't get your imagination working overtime, you must be made of stronger moral fiber than I. I mean, was it a mud pit, a jello pit, what? Were wet t-shirts involved in any way?

Well, it turns out Danica and this anonymous other female sparred on pit road, which, if I were an auto racing fan, I might have guessed, although the story suddenly seems a lot less interesting for that knowledge.

But still, doesn't the headline seem a little off? I mean, I'm pretty sure Danica is a female herself, based on the photos I've seen, and I've given them a pretty thorough going-over. So, shouldn't the headline read "Danica and another female spar in pit"?

And what about this other female? Why does she get to remain anonymous while poor little Danica gets her dirty laundry aired out on Yahoo!? It turns out this "female" Danica Patrick sparred with is Milka Duno, another driver; in fact the only other female driver, at the Honda Indy 200, which is where the confrontation occurred.

Far be it from me to criticize the guy who writes the headlines at Yahoo!, but I think I could have done better. How about this? Duno Wrong in Clash With Danica?

I suppose I'm just giving this too much thought altogether. Maybe it's time to take a break and go check out ESPN's highlights from last year - I can't get enough of T.O.'s teary post-game performance from last November.

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