People seem to have this stereotype of professional football players as big, tough he-men, supermen almost, and why wouldn't they? It's difficult to get a true appreciation for how big these guys are when you see them on TV, since they're all equally mammoth so it skews the perspective, almost like listening to a presidential debate.
But if you've ever seen an NFL player up close, say walking through an airport or stealing your girlfriend, you begin to get a real appreciation for just how big these people really are. Their forearms are bigger than your thighs; hell, if you're anything like me, their wrists are probably bigger than your thighs. Unless of course we're talking about the placekicker, in which you can disregard all of the above.
Anyway, when you see how big NFL players really are, you naturally assume they are tough as nails, and in a lot of cases this is undoubtedly true (Quick aside - when I was in college, a backup linebacker lived in my dorm, and this guy used to routinely smash chips out of the building's concrete block construction using nothing but his head! And this was a backup player on a college team).
Leave it to Terrell Owens to break another perception barrier, shattering our notion of football players as semi-indestructible automatons by weeping like a little girl after the Dallas Cowboys lost to the New York Giants at home last Sunday. And what caused the tears to flow? It wasn't the trauma of losing the game, everyone knows T.O. isn't the most team-oriented guy in the world. Rather, it was the thought that, sniff, sob, the team's quarterback, Tony Romo, would be forced to shoulder a disproportionate share of the blame.
Oh, the humanity! The sheer unfairness of it all! But guess what, T.O.? That's the way it is in sports. Always has been, always will be. Being the quarterback in football is like being the pitcher in baseball or the goaltender in hockey - if your team loses, you get to be the goat. This is the flip side of the disproportionate adulation those guys get when they win; why Tony Romo dates Jessica Simpson while his offensive linemen have to settle for Romo buying them a steak dinner if he so chooses.
But finally we get to my point, which I almost forgot about. Anny Grant, a fourteen year old girl no one had ever heard of five days ago, is now the subject of national media attention for being the anti-T.O. When booed by a stadium full of rabid Colts fans at the RCA Dome for wearing a Patriots jersey while being honored as a Punt, Pass and Kick winner, this little girl shrugged off the negative attention with a smile.
Terrell Owens, big, tough football player, can't make it through a media session without weeping like #### Vermeil at a poetry reading, and this young girl shrugs off a reception from 60,000 screaming people that most of us would find at least a little disconcerting.
What does this mean in the grand scheme of things? Not much, really, but maybe the put-down people use, when they say so-and-so cried like a little girl, needs to be reworked and updated. How about this? "Joe cried like T.O. when he got that speeding ticket. It was a riot!"
The amazing thing about Terrell Owens' crying jag in front of the media isn't so much that he did it, but rather that he showed some empathy for someone other than, well, Terrell Owens. For a man almost universally believed to be in love with himself, this was an incredible display, one which I'm pretty sure signals the impending apocalypse.
If so, we could all be running out of time, but before I begin attempting to explain to my maker my reasoning for all of the missteps I've made over the last 48 years, let's get something straight.
Tony Romo was stupid to go to Cabo with Jessica Simpson for a few days during the Cowboys bye week, but not because it had anything whatsoever to do with Dallas losing that game to the New York Giants. Players routinely scatter to all corners of the country when given time off by the coaching staff and nobody was the least bit concerned about where, say, Terence Newman went on his off days and who he spent time with.
But as the quarterback for America's Team, Romo had to understand he would be held to a different standard if Dallas did not win a home playoff game against the Giants, a team they had beaten twice already this season.
The notoriety that comes with his position is a double-edged sword. The same recognition and hero-worship that allows him to get Hollywood cuties like Simpson and Carrie Underwood with barely more than a snap of the fingers makes him the Number One Target of the fans' venom when that Hollywood ending everyone is expecting does not materialize.
If Romo had spent his time off in his apartment manipulating his joystick playing Madden 2008, no one would now be questioning his judgment, at least not his off-field judgment.
But here's the thing people should remember about Tony Romo: He's a second-year starter in the NFL, where it often takes quarterbacks years to gain the experience necessary to win in the postseason. Sure there are exceptions like Tom Brady, but it's not at all unusual for even future Hall of Famers to struggle in their first few playoff appearances.
Here are Romo's numbers for his first two playoff appearances, both losses:
You could play this game all day, but the point is this. Each of the above-mentioned quarterbacks eventually made it to a Super Bowl, with Elway winning two and Simms one. Marino lost in his only Super Bowl appearance but is widely and rightly regarded as one of the best quarterbacks ever. But the numbers for all of these greats indicate an inconsistency that should be expected from a relatively inexperienced quarterback.
So T.O. can cry all he wants, as can Cowboy fans everywhere, but maybe you should hold off on passing judgement on Tony Romo. He is only two games into what should be a long playoff career. He may or may not eventually become what people seem to think he is right now, someone who can't win the big one, but it is simply too early to make that kind of determination.
In a stunning stroke of originality that may shake the copycat NFL to its' roots, Dallas Cowboys head coach Wade (Don't You Dare Call Me Bum) Phillips has had each of his players sign a pledge promising to play smarter than they have been doing recently and to avoid stupid penalities.
"If this works," said Phillips, "I have every intention of taking it further next week. I'm very concerned about global warming and I think now that I have the players' attention with the penalty thing, maybe we can work on a pledge lowering greenhouse gases or something. Kind of a 'Cowboy Kyoto treaty,' if you will."
For the majority of the players, this was the most paperwork they have ever done, including their high school and college years. Unconfirmed reports have even been floating around that certain Cowboys sat motionlessly in front of their desks, pens in hand, waiting for the "tutors" that they were customarily supplied with in college to show up and complete the actual work.
"I can't write an essay all by myself," exclaimed one anonymous player. "I'm going to need some help." When it was explained to him that a signature was all that was required, the player responded, "What's your point?"
Additional unconfirmed reports coming out of the Dallas locker room suggest that some players may have had certain clauses appended to their individual pledges. Tony Romo, for example, is said to have signed a pledge promising to give up all the juicy details of his dates with the hot celebrities he is known to have been seen with, like Carrie Underwood and Jessica Simpson.
The Player's Association has not yet released a statement of their official position on this newest attack on players rights. Initial reports out of the NFLPA offices are that they are waiting to see what Romo has to say before filing any sort of official objection to this new practice of pledge-signing. They want to know about all those celebrities too.
Hey everyone, I know it must seem like I've dropped off the face of the earth, but it's nothing like that.
I've been busy writing - two full-length novels so far, plus over a dozen short stories - and working hard to try to get an agent. If you are curious and have a few minutes, check out my website, www.allanleve rone.com.
If you're a literary agent or if you know one, by all means contact me! In the meantime, I'll be here when I can - love this forum - and as always, thank you for checking out my blog, especially considering how many great ones you could be reading instead....
