A little more proof, just in case you needed any, that a lot of people in this world just aren't that freakin' smart:

According to the AP, Herbert Alex Simpson, 30, of Philadelphia, had a grudge against two female ex-coworkers, so he did what anyone would do in that situation - he wrote threatening letters to New York Giants football coach Tom Coughlin, pretending to be those two women, and threatening Coughlin with "a living hell" if he didn't pay $20,000 to $30,000 to keep phony sexual trysts with them quiet.

I know exactly what you're thinking. This story stinks on so many levels it's not even funny, although it really is kind of funny. Even Mrs. Coughlin didn't believe that ol' Tom would have what it takes to get two other women into bed; not even ones that don't know him.

When you think of smooth-talking ladykiller types, the intense and focused Coughlin isn't exactly the guy who springs to mind. Unless the young ladies were flaunting Washington Redskins playbooks, Tom Coughlin probably would never even have noticed them in the first place.

And how, exactly, did Herbert Alex Simpson, who clearly needs to work on his reasoning skills, think his big plan was going to hurt the two women he had such a problem with? Coughlin gets the letters and goes immediately to the authorities, who have seen interviews with Coughlin and thus have no problem believing he didn't sleep with the two women. The authorities then go to the women, they say "Never seen the letters before and never slept with Coughlin" and prove it (at least the first part) by giving samples of their handwriting, and they go on with their Coughlin-less lives.

Meanwhile, the authorities ask the obvious followup question, "Who do you think might do such a thing?" and, surprisingly, both women immediately think of, you guessed it, Herbert Alex Simpson. Sheesh. Homer Simpson looks like a Mensa candidate compared to this guy.

So now, in addition to pissing off Tom Coughlin and barely inconveniencing the two women he was angry with in the first place, Herbert Alex Simpson becomes a national laughingstock. His response? He claims he "never thought the coach would get them and he never intended to harm his family."

And, really, why would he think the coach would get them? Writing the man's home address on the envelope and sticking proper postage on it hardly ever results in a letter ending up where it was sent.

Poor Hebert Alex Simpson. He is now facing a sentence of up to two years in prison and potentially a $250,000 fine. Just a wild guess here, but I'll bet Herbert Alex doesn't have that kind of money. Luckily for him, there are still 31 other NFL head coaches just waiting to be suckered like Coughlin. No doubt he is busily writing up the letters even as we speak.

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