I normally try to stay away from re-posting something that I've written here before, mostly because I figure it's good to try to force a little creativity out of my feeble brain.  In this case, though, I'm posting something I wrote originally this past March. 

The Jimmy Fund is the long-time charity of the Boston Red Sox, dedicated to fighting cancer in children.  Today and tomorrow, Boston sports radio station WEEI and television network NESN, the New England SportsNetwork, are holding their seventh annual Jimmy Fund Radio-Telethon, hoping to raise millions of dollars to fund cancer research.

Here is the post I wrote last March dedicated to the subject:

Between fans of the Boston Red Sox and New York Yankees, even over the winter the sniping never really ends, it just becomes a little more muted than during the regular season.

This year in particular, the offseason seemed more bombastic than usual, what with members of both organizations getting involved and ratcheting up the noise. First, A-Rod stepped on Red Sox toes with the ill-timed World Series announcement that he was opting out of his contract. He says it was his agent's idea and that he regrets the timing, but that was just the first volley anyway.

After that came Red Sox closer Jonathan Papelbon's remark to a reporter that the Series-clinching ball, the one he supposedly had in his possession, had been eaten by his dog. The dog's name? "Boss," of course, what else?

Move on to spring training, where Hank Steinbrenner railed against Boston's "Red Sox Nation," much to the delight of Red Sox fans everywhere. Steinbrenner promised to restore order to the universe by beating the Sox, and everyone else, and earning a Yankee World Championship.

Finally, Boston management responded by enrolling Mr. Steinbrenner in Red Sox Nation and sending him a David Ortiz autographed hat as a peace offering. Needless to say, that peace offering went unaccepted.

From a Red Sox perspective, then, the Yankees are the hated enemy, the thorn in their side, the bane of their existence. As a kid born and raised outside Boston, I can testify to the truth of that statement, and undoubtedly the same thing is true of Yankee fans everywhere, who used to say, "You have to win once in a while for it to be a rivalry," in a not-so-subtle nod to the fact that while the Red Sox were going 86 years without a championship, the Yankees were racking them up with regularity. Well, now that the Sox have won a couple, it seems the rivalry has become invigorated and reached a renewed intensity.

But here's the dirty little secret that Hank Steinbrenner surely doesn't want you to know, whether you are a Boston fan or a New York supporter: The Steinbrenner family has been incredibly generous to the charity the Red Sox organization adopted 55 years ago and has supported ever since, the Jimmy Fund.

Established in 1948, the Jimmy Fund of Boston's Dana-Farber Cancer Institute is dedicated to raising money and awareness in the fight against cancer in children. In the 60 years since it's inception, the Jimmy Fund has raised over $400 million dollars, with more than 90 cents out of every dollar raised going directly toward research dedicated to "eradicating cancer and related diseases."

For the past seven years, Boston sports radio station WEEI, and NESN, the New England Sports Network, have teamed up with the Red Sox organization to run a weekend radio/telethon in support of the Jimmy Fund. Each of the first six telethons have raised a larger amount of money than the one the previous year, culminating in last year's total of $3.74 million, with a grand total in the six-year history of the event of nearly $12 million raised.

What does all this have to do with the Steinbrenner family? Since it's inception in 2002, George Steinbrenner has supported the fundraising weekend with an annual donation of $10,000, which he upped last year to $25,000. He is not by any means the only celebrity/rich guy making a donation - Dodgers owner Frank McCourt and MLB Commissioner Bud Selig are two others who have opened their wallets generously - but the others aren't the owners and public faces of the supposed sworn enemies of the franchise.

Rivaries are great for sports. They add drama and excitement to the season and give fans and media something to talk about. But some things are more important in life, and it's nice to see that The Boss and the entire Steinbrenner family have an appreciation for that fact.

This year's 7th Annual Red Sox WEEI/NESN Jimmy Fund Radio/Telethon takes place the weekend of August 14-15, and for the seventh straight year will attempt to break the previous season's record for money raised. Undoubtedly the Steinbrenner family and thus the New York Yankees will again be a big part of the fundraising effort.

For more information on the Jimmy Fund or to make a donation, just click this link. Or this one.  Or this one.  Anyone who has watched a relative or close friend suffer through cancer - and who hasn't? - knows how difficult it is to sit by as a loved one is ravaged by the disease. Now imagine that someone is a young child, maybe even your son or daughter. Take a moment to check out the Jimmy Fund, and if you have a few bucks, think about pledging something - you just might save a life today.

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If you love fiction and have a few spare minutes, check out my website, www.allanleverone.com

Between fans of the Boston Red Sox and New York Yankees, even over the winter the sniping never really ends, it just becomes a little more muted than during the regular season.

This year in particular, the offseason seemed more bombastic than usual, what with members of both organizations getting involved and ratcheting up the noise. First, A-Rod stepped on Red Sox toes with the ill-timed World Series announcement that he was opting out of his contract. He says it was his agent's idea and that he regrets the timing, but that was just the first volley anyway.

After that came Red Sox closer Jonathan Papelbon's remark to a reporter that the Series-clinching ball, the one he supposedly had in his possession, had been eaten by his dog. The dog's name? "Boss," of course, what else?

Move on to spring training, where Hank Steinbrenner railed against Boston's "Red Sox Nation," much to the delight of Red Sox fans everywhere. Steinbrenner promised to restore order to the universe by beating the Sox, and everyone else, and earning a Yankee World Championship.

Finally, Boston management responded by enrolling Mr. Steinbrenner in Red Sox Nation and sending him a David Ortiz autographed hat as a peace offering. Needless to say, that peace offering went unaccepted.

From a Red Sox perspective, then, the Yankees are the hated enemy, the thorn in their side, the bane of their existence. As a kid born and raised outside Boston, I can testify to the truth of that statement, and undoubtedly the same thing is true of Yankee fans everywhere, who used to say, "You have to win once in a while for it to be a rivalry," in a not-so-subtle nod to the fact that while the Red Sox were going 86 years without a championship, the Yankees were racking them up with regularity. Well, now that the Sox have won a couple, it seems the rivalry has become invigorated and reached a renewed intensity.

But here's the dirty little secret that Hank Steinbrenner surely doesn't want you to know, whether you are a Boston fan or a New York supporter: The Steinbrenner family has been incredibly generous to the charity the Red Sox organization adopted 55 years ago and has supported ever since, the Jimmy Fund.

Established in 1948, the Jimmy Fund of Boston's Dana-Farber Cancer Institute is dedicated to raising money and awareness in the fight against cancer in children. In the 60 years since it's inception, the Jimmy Fund has raised over $400 million dollars, with more than 90 cents out of every dollar raised going directly toward research dedicated to "eradicating cancer and related diseases."

For the past seven years, Boston sports radio station WEEI, and NESN, the New England Sports Network, have teamed up with the Red Sox organization to run a weekend radio/telethon in support of the Jimmy Fund. Each of the first six telethons have raised a larger amount of money than the one the previous year, culminating in last year's total of $3.74 million, with a grand total in the six-year history of the event of nearly $12 million raised.

What does all this have to do with the Steinbrenner family? Since it's inception in 2002, George Steinbrenner has supported the fundraising weekend with an annual donation of $10,000, which he upped last year to $25,000. He is not by any means the only celebrity/rich guy making a donation - Dodgers owner Frank McCourt and MLB Commissioner Bud Selig are two others who have opened their wallets generously - but the others aren't the owners and public faces of the supposed sworn enemies of the franchise.

Rivaries are great for sports. They add drama and excitement to the season and give fans and media something to talk about. But some things are more important in life, and it's nice to see that The Boss and the entire Steinbrenner family have an appreciation for that fact.

This year's 7th Annual Red Sox WEEI/NESN Jimmy Fund Radio/Telethon takes place the weekend of August 14-15, and for the seventh straight year will attempt to break the previous season's record for money raised. Undoubtedly the Steinbrenner family and thus the New York Yankees will again be a big part of the fundraising effort.

For more information on the Jimmy Fund or to make a donation, just click this link. Anyone who has watched a relative or close friend suffer through cancer - and who hasn't? - knows how difficult it is to sit by as a loved one is ravaged by the disease. Now imagine that someone is a young child, maybe even your son or daughter. Take a moment to check out the Jimmy Fund, and thanks for reading.

Who would have ever guessed that George Steinbrenner would turn out to be the sane one in the family? That the man who alternately fired and rehired the same guy for the same job five times in a span of twelve years (Billy Martin), and who paid superstar money for a free agent (Dave Winfield) who drove on 100 or more runs six out of the eight years he spent in the Bronx only to hang the humiliating nickname "Mr. May" on him, would end up, in retrospect, being the stable, thoughtful, wise man out of the bunch?

As unlikely a possibility as that seems, especially to those of us who remember the seventies, it does appear to be the case, at least based on the early returns from the Hank Steinbrenner regime.

First Hank washes his hands of Alex Rodriguez when he delares free agency last fall, swearing to the world and Yankee fans everywhere the man will never wear pinstripes again, only to change his mind and personally negotiate a $275 million (or more) contract extension for the slugging third baseman, establishing himself as a man of his word. Which word that is, nobody is quite sure.

Then the man whose team is implicated more than most in the Mitchell report, with 22 current and former Yankees being outed, went off in a kooky interview with the New York Post on February 19, blustering that Red Sox fans shouldn't be "hollering too loud at Andy (Pettite) up in Fenway," thereby assuring that is exactly what will happen, as if there was any doubt on that score to begin with.

Steinbrenner went on to assure Yankee fans that "We'll make sure we give Andy all the support he needs in Fenway and other ballparks," before turning his attention on his other big concern on that day, that baseball was being singled out at the expense of other sports, especially football, when it comes to criticism of players for using performance enhancing drugs.

Never mind that the Mitchell Report was requested by the Commissioner of Baseball, and that the NFL has had a rigorous testing program for performance enhancing drugs in place since the early 1990's and that the penalties for violating the policies in the NFL have been considerably more stringent than baseball's, at least until recently.

Baby Boss has also taken a number of verbal jabs at departed manager Joe Torre, including saying that new hire Joe Girardi has more fire in his belly, implying that the veteran of one major league season as a manager is more competitive than the man who won four World Series for his father back in the dark ages of 1996 to 2000.

The latest Steinbrennerism once again involves his seemingly unhealthy preoccupation with his main rival in the American League East, the Boston Red Sox. Hank vents his frustration in an interview published March 2 in the New York Times Play magazine. In it, among other things, he says, "Red Sox Nation? What a bunch of [expletive] that is...This is a Yankee country."

He can hardly be blamed for defending the honor of his team, but the problem is, Red Sox Nation was never meant to imply that this nation is filled with Sox fans anyway. Most of us in The Nation realize and accept that our team is the second-most hated entity in baseball, behind....well....you know.

It's not "A Red Sox Nation," Mr. Steinbrenner, it's "Red Sox Nation," a group of fans intensely devoted to the club. A group cleverly designed, undoubtedly, to sell team gear and memorabilia. Perhaps it's time to have a little discussion with your marketing people and fire someone for not coming up with the idea for the Yankees.

In any event, all is right with the world, notwithstanding Hank's vow to "put the Yankees back on top and restore the universe to order." (By the way, if you vow to put the team back on top, isn't that kind of like admitting what you spent the rest of the interview denying?) In an effort to smooth things over, Boston's principal owner, John Henry, sent an official Red Sox Nation membership card to Steinbrenner as well as assorted other perks, including a David Oritz autographed cap.

Steinbrenner responded by saying he will never join Red Sox Nation, but we here in New England know that's just to mollify the New York press and Yankee fans everywhere. We rest easy in the knowledge Hank is probably wearing his Ortiz cap right now, admiring it's jaunty look in the mirror.

Now if we can only get Jason Varitek and A-Rod to go out to dinner together.

In case you're not familiar with the expression, "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree," or you don't believe it's necessarily true, here's a little affirmation for you. Almost two years to the day after George Steinbrenner guaranteed the Yankees would win the World Series, before the team had even completed their first full workout of the spring (Now For the Weather, Continued Dark til Morning), son Hank, who is working non-stop, night and day without so much as a coffee break to live up to his father's Type-A legacy, has one-upped the old man.

According to an article published by Kevin Kernan in the February 20 edition of the New York Post, Joe Girardi will...well...how do I put this. To avoid any misunderstanding, let's quote the young Steinbrenner word for word: "Truthfully, I think Girardi is going to end up being one of the greatest managers in the history of the game. That's my gut feeling."

Wow. Girardi is the guy who, just in case you blinked and missed it, has managed exactly one full season in the big leagues, artfully guiding the undermanned Florida Marlins to a 78-84 record in 2006 before being rewarded for his accomplishment by being forced to walk the plank in Florida.

Joe Girardi is, by all accounts, a hard-working, bright young manager who would appear to have a heckuva future in the game. Isn't that enough, at least for now? Is it really necessary for the Big Boss to make Girardi out to be the best thing since Casey Stengel or Sparky Anderson or Billy Martin, thereby inflaming the New York media unnecessarily, before the poor guy has even figured out whether Jeter takes his coffee with one sugar or two?

Ah, but there's the thing. Steinbrenner goes on to compare Girardi, not to his predecessor Joe Torre, but to the oft-fired (by his father) Billy Martin. Everything that went on in New York before Torre took his leave of the Bronx Zoo seems to have left a trace of a bad taste in Blowhard the Younger's mouth, to the point where, as in the darkest days of the Soviet Empire after party hacks disappeared, all traces of them were removed and it was as if they had never existed.

Because, in New York, if you're talking all-time great managers, wouldn't Torre be a good place to start? His office chair is barely cold, so even the youngest Yankee fans would remember him, and all he did during his stay in the Bronx was win ten division titles and four World Series.

Billy Martin? He led the league in fights and firings, but only won two division championships and two World Series with the Yankees. Not a bad record by any means and this is not a knock on Martin, but aren't results supposed to be the ultimate measuring stick? If so, then Torre would seem to be the obvious point of comparison.

In any event, for a while it appeared the Hank Steinbrenner era was going to be stable and boring, but perhaps not. For his part, Girardi seems to be handling the coronation from his boss as one of the all-time greats well, at least so far. According to Kerner, when told of the quote from Steinbrenner, "Girardi was touched. 'That's a nice compliment,' he said as he sat on the edge of his office desk."

It's not like he's new to the bombast in the Bronx; Girardi spent four years of a fifteen year playing career in New York and undoubtedly will not be surprised by anything coming out of a Steinbrenner's mouth. But just in case, it's good that he's practicing sitting on the edge of his chair - that's likely where he'll be for most of his tenure in New York, even if he does become "one of the greatest managers in the history of the game."

Money talks; ethics walk. If there was ever any doubt about the truth of that statement, all you need to do to get your head on straight is to look at the support of Major League Baseball's owners for the man whose everlasting legacy will be that he presided over what is already being referred to as the "Steroids Era" in baseball, Bud Selig.

According to an Associated Press report published on Foxsports.com, Selig, who has yet to even admit to any share of responsibility for the rampant abuse of steroids and Human Growth Hormone, both controlled substances, by MLB players in the late-1990's and early-2000's, enhoys the complete and total support of baseball's owners.

The select group of millionaires and billionaires who should be under the commissioner's control to ensure that the best interests of the game are upheld have revealed their true colors by throwing their support wholeheartedly behind the man who fiddled while baseball burned.

White Sox chairman Jerry Reinsdorf - "He has total support of the owners..."

Yankees owner George Steinbrenner - "He's a terrific commissioner..."

Major League Baseball's owners can decry the abuse of performance-enhancing drugs to the high heavens, but the above statements reveal the truth of the matter - that it's all a smokescreen; all to pacify you, the paying customer, and to make you believe these people have your interests at heart. In reality, though, as long as the money keeps rolling in and profits continue to be made by the majority of the clubs, there will be no change at the top of the command structure in baseball.

It's instructive to look at the result of the last major scandal suffered by Major League Baseball; the Black Sox scandal of 1919. That was the year eight members of the Chicago White Sox were accused of throwing the World Series to the Cincinnati Reds.

Even though all eight of the accused players were acquitted at trial, the damage to baseball's reputation was so great that the office of Commissioner of Baseball was established as a direct result of the scandal to reassure the fans that the game's integrity would be upheld. Judge Kenesaw Mountain Landis was appointed baseball's first commissioner and immediately banned all eight players from the game for life.

The judge's comment? "Regardless of the verdict of juries, no player who throws a ball game, no player who undertakes or promises to throw a ball game, no player who sits in confidence with a bunch of crooked ballplayers and gamblers, where the ways and means of throwing a game are discussed and does not promptly tell his club about it, will ever play professional baseball."

Contrast that no-nonsense statement with the public utterances of Bud Selig regarding the performance-enhancing drugs scandal and you can immediately see the difference between a commissioner concerned with protecting the good of the game, and a commissioner whose sole concern is to protect the interests of the game's owners. "For the time being...I'm studying things and analyzing things."

1919 was a long time ago and perhaps it's unfair to compare two different situations from two different eras. There was no player's union in 1919, the men who played on the field were completely and totally under the thumb of the owners.

But those owners, even almost a century ago, were bright enough to see that a scandal of the magnitude of the Black Sox debacle could potentially run the entire moneymaking operation into the ground if the fans, the people who ultimately pay for everything, felt the game was rigged.

How is that so different from today? Well, baseball is enjoying a run of unprecedented popularity, meaning unprecedented income, and the owners don't feel this scandal is of a magnitude to upset the apple cart. If that's the case, why make waves? Keep Selig in the office and continue allowing the clowns to run the circus!

But if profits start falling, suddenly the man who is so popular with all the owners right now will find himself the odd man out and will immediately be held accountable for allowing this issue to take down a great game. Maybe it's not fair; maybe there really was nothing Bud Selig could do for ten years as he watched chemically-enhanced giants tear down records that had stood for decades.

The fact of the matter is, though, the man at the top must be held responsible. He is the one who should pay for allowing the scandal to develop and become full-blown - that's the nature of his job. If and when the money-train starts slowing down, Bud Selig will discover more and more owners feel exactly that way. They will start to wonder what I already wonder: Why in the world are they paying that guy $14.5 million dollars a year to sit around and look befuddled?

SABAN LEAVES ALABAMA FOR GREENER PASTURES - After denying for hours that he was peparing to leave and take a new job, University of Alabama head coach Nick Saban did an abrupt about-face today, suddenly resigning his position and announcing he was moving on. "I realize the timing seems suspect, what with the fact that I haven't actually coached any games here, or even cashed a paycheck yet or seen my office for that matter, but I've got to do what's best for myself and my family," said Saban.

Alabama Athletic Director Mal Moore refused to comment, other than to refer reporters to the Miami Dolphins public relations staff. "Just put me down as seconding whatever they said yesterday."

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COMPANY CLAIMS JAMARCUS RUSSELL'S ARM JUICED - A company that uses computer imaging claims the LSU quarterback, who fired the football at jaw-dropping speeds and distances in the Tigers' Sugar Bowl victory over Notre Dame, actually has a large rubberized core and synthetic rubber ring in his arm, similar to the ones they say were found in Mark McGwire's 70th home run ball from 1998.

"Examining the CT images of Mr. Russell's arm one can clearly see the synthetic ring around the core - or 'bone' - of the arm," Universal Medical System's president, David Zavagno, said.

For their part, LSU officials would say only that "All our quarterbacks' arms are subject to rigorous quality control standards and testing. No changes have been made to the core of the arm."

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REX GROSSMAN RESCUES BABY IN BURNING BUILDING; OVERTHROWS WAITING FIREFIGHTERS - Baby's tearful Dad admits, "I knew little Joey was a goner as soon as Rex pump-faked. Why couldn't Peyton Manning have been walking by instead?"

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RANDY JOHNSON TRADED TO ARIZONA; "IT'S 1999 AGAIN!" DECLARES STEINBRENNER - In an unexpected move, the Yankees owner rids himself of inconsistent performance and salary; declares his next move is to determine the availability of Scott Brosius to play third base and Paul O'Neill to play right field. "Does anyone have David Cone's telephone number?" asked the Yankees owner after the press conference.

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JIM LAMPLEY ARRESTED ON DOMESTIC VIOLENCE CHARGES - The long-time boxing broadcaster was arrested on su####ion he struck girlfriend Candice Sanders in an altercation on New Year's Eve. Sanders, who had a restraining order in place against the 57-year-old HBO commentator, would say only, "For a guy who's a big boxing expert, he hits like a girl. I'm going to withdraw the restraining order and if he comes near me again, I'm going to go all Marvin Hagler on him and lay him out good."

February 21, 2006: "The New York Yankees will win the World Series this year." - George Steinbrenner

October 8, 2006: "I am deeply disappointed at our being eliminated so early in the playoffs." - George Steinbrenner

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If you look closely at the two quotes above, two observations jump immediately to mind. First, the top quote was issued before the Yankees had even taken the field for a full-squad workout in spring training, which leads to the second observation, which is this. George Steinbrenner is an impetuous man when it comes to his playtoy.

When George is disappointed, generally someone walks the plank, and it appears this time the skipper of the Yankee Clipper ship, Joe Torre, is destined to take the long walk off the short pier. According to the Associated Press, Steinbrenner would not comment on a report in the New York Daily News that Torre would be fired and replaced with Lou Piniella. King George did not deny the report, he simply did not comment on it.

Obviously, it's The Boss's plaything and he is well within his rights to do with it as he wishes. Equally obviously, Joe Torre has had a magnificent run as skipper of the free world's most famous sports franchise. That being the case, it's sad to see the man's fate being bandied about in the media like he was, oh, Joe Girardi or someone.

A quick review of Torre's record in the Bronx shows a record of success rivaled only by that of Bobby Cox in Atlanta. Eleven years, a win-loss record of 1079-699, for an average regular-season mark of 98-64. Only once in those eleven years did Torre win less than 92 games, and that was balanced off quite nicely by four seasons with over 100 wins.

Additionally, only once in those eleven years did New York fail to win the American League East title, and that was balanced out quite nicely by four World Series championships.

The thing that may have doomed Torre, though, is the fact that all four of those championships are now well over half a decade old, with the last coming in 2000. Six years without a title, combined with the highest payroll by far in the big leagues, may well add up to a new field boss in 2007.

Again, all within the rights of the Yankees ownership. If you were to ask Joe Torre, he would probably admit eleven years in that cauldron of expectation is much more than he ever expected to complete when he took the job. In fact, his tenure at the helm of the Yankees is the longest uninterrupted stretch since Casey Stengel did twelve years, from 1949 through 1960.

But Lou Piniella? He has managed in New York before, compiling a respectable 224-193 mark, but his teams finished second, then fourth, then fifth in the AL East from 1986 through the midpoint of the 1988 season, when he was fired and replaced by, who else, Billy Martin.

Of course, the whole issue is merely speculation at this point, but when the organization will not come out and deny a report of an imminent firing, it can't do much to make Torre feel too secure. The winds of change are blowing in New York.

I am not a big believer in conspiracy theories. I'm not convinced there was a second shooter in Dallas. I don't think you would find alien skeletons if you were able to prowl through Area 51 in the Nevada desert. United Flight 93 wasn't shot down over Pennsylvania by two U.S fighter jets. Most of these so-called plots would involve a level of secrecy our stumbling, bumbling government is just not capable of. Nope. Not realistic.

Having said that, I must confess to a sneaking su####ion that Houston Astros management may have snookered everyone else in major league baseball with a level of foresight not usually demonstrated by anyone other than the Donald Trumps and the Bill Gates's of the world.

Is it possible that the Astros used the 254th pick in the July, 2005 draft to ensure they would have the best chance at re-signing one of the ten to fifteen best pitchers in the history of the game? I believe it's not only possible, but in fact quite likely. Let's examine why.

Reason #1: Roger Clemens has retired more often than the Rolling Stones, and has gone on nearly as many farewell tours. Probably the only reason George Steinbrenner didn't demand the car back that he gave to Clemens in 2003 as a retirement gift is that he doesn't want people to remember he gave Clemens a Hummer. Is it so farfetched to think that the Astros suspected Roger's re-retirement after last season might just be a reversible situation? If that's the case, what better way to lure the sure first-ballot Hall of Famer back to Houston than by drafting his son?

Reason #2: Major league baseball teams use late-round draft picks for other-than-strictly-on-the-field motives all the time. Maybe it's to do a favor for a club employee who has been a loyal member of the organization for a long time. Sometimes it actually works to the team's advantage. Remember back in 1991 as a favor to Tommy Lasorda the Dodgers drafted his godson? Some kid named Pizza or something. Oh yeah, Piazza, that was it. Who's to say the Astros didn't think ahead and draft Koby Clemens with an eye toward keeping Dear Old Dad in the fold should he decide to play this season?

Reason #3: It's common knowledge how much Clemens' family means to him. When he left Boston after the 1996 season it was for the expressed purpose of going somewhere closer to his family in Texas. So what if he went through Toronto and then New Yok first, he did end up closer to his family in the end, right? Seriously, he has always made it clear how much family means to him, so for the Houston front office to use that knowledge to gain a little leverage on the star pitcher would not be too hard to believe, would it?

Face it folks, in retrospect the whole ridiculous Clemens chase, where four teams lined up to throw themselves at him like high school boys trying to get the cute cheerleader into the back seat, may have been a done deal from the beginning. Looking back, why would Clemens go anywhere else? He has a sweet deal in Houston. He doesn't have to go on the road unless he's going to pitch in the series. He's near his home and family. The amount of money he's making is meaningless to a guy who has made as much as he has, other than as a way to validate his place in the game's history.

Combine all those things with the possibility of being in the same dugout as his son, and you have a strategy employed to perfection by Drayton McClain and company. Don't think a September callup of Koby Clemens is outside the realm of possibility either. If it means Papa Bear will be kept happy, it will certainly happen. Anybody remember Ken Griffey junior and senior sharing the same clubhouse at the beginning/end of their respective careers? I'll bet Roger does.

This is not to say Koby Clemens is not a prospect, I have no idea. Certainly he has the pedigree. If he's anything like his dad, he's big and athletic and knows how to play the game. However, that's something which can be said about any of hundreds, maybe even thousands of high school and college baseball players in the U.S. and other countries where the game is played. And yet he ended up in the Houston organization. Interesting.

Congratulations, Houston Astros. The plan worked to perfection. Roger Clemens is happy, presumably healthy, and perhaps ready to tip the balance of power in the National League Wild Card race, if not the Central Division. If Koby Clemens never does anything else to help Houston to another World Series, he's already done plenty, even if he doesn't know it.

Now, could you get to work on that Area 51 thing? I know the truth is out there.

With the news that the FBI is vigorously searching a farm in Milford Township, Michigan after an apparently credible tip indicated the property holds the remains of Teamsters Union head Jimmy Hoffa, who disappeared more than thirty years ago, it would appear unlikely that Hoffa is buried under one of the end zones at Giants Stadium. This has been the popular rumor for nearly as long as Hoffa has been missing; that the union leader was killed and his body dumped at the stadium site, which was under construction at the time.

If in fact it turns out that Hoffa was buried in Michigan, the obvious question becomes: What is buried in Giants Stadium? I've given this brain teaser several minutes of thought, and have narrowed down the myriad possibilities to a few of the likeliest ones.


Things potentially buried in Giants Stadium:

1) Bill Parcells' girdle. If you look at old video of the former New York Giants head coach, what you see from his Giants coaching days is a large man in pretty good shape. Since he left the Giants, Parcells has expanded in a big way, until now he more resembles the Sta-Puf Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters than a highly respected football lifer.

2) Chad Pennington's rotator cuff. New York Jets officials are busy digging up both end zones at the Meadowlands in a thus far fruitless search for the quarterback's throwing ability. With so much money invested in Pennington ($6 million salary and $14 million cap charge), the Jets believe it's cheaper to resod the entire field than to continue paying Pennington to not play.

3) George Steinbrenner's temper. It's clear someone stole the Yankee owner's fiery personality. Burying it in Yankee Stadium would be way too obvious, so there's a good chance the miscreant who took it buried it here.

4) Larry Brown's resignation letter. Right next to his blueprint for restoring the Knicks to respectability.

5) Herman Edwards' testicles. Buried before the Jets 2004 playoff loss to the Pittsburgh Steelers. If Edwards had still had them, he could have tried to move the ball after David Barrett's interception and given Doug Brien better field position to try for the game-winning field goal. Instead, he elected to try the kick immediately. Brien missed it, and the Jets haven't been the same since.

6) Joe Namath's self-respect. No one who ever saw Broadway Joe play wants to remember him the way he appeared on ESPN's Jets-Patriots broadcast December 20, 2003. Clearly drunk, slurring his words, whispering sweet nothings to Suzy Kolber and millions of ESPN viewers, it was a sad and disappointing state to see the charismatic quarterback in who guaranteed a victory over the Baltimore Colts in Super Bowl III, and then delivered it.


Of course, it's always possible that nothing is buried in the swampland under the Meadowlands, but what fun would that be?

An incident occurred last week which leads me to believe all is not as it seems in Gotham City. After Alex Rodriguez committed two errors at third base, highlighting, or perhaps lowlighting a ghastly New York defensive performance and leading to six unearned runs in a 14-3 Yankee loss to their American League East rivals, the Boston Red Sox, New York writers caught up with Steinbrenner as he was leaving Yankee Stadium and asked him what he thought was the biggest reason for his club's disappointing performance. His answer? "The third baseman."

This simple, three-word answer should set off alarm bells to any veteran Yankee-watcher. The old George Steinbrenner (the real George Steinbrenner?) would never have been satisfied with that sort of calm, rational-sounding answer after an eleven-run loss at home to his club's main division rival. The old (real?) George Steinbrenner might have gone off on a ten-minute rant, using expressions like "A-Rot" and pointing out, in case anyone in New York had forgotten, that he is paying Rodriguez $158,523 dollars per game, and if he wanted a third baseman who was going to lose concentration on a simple bouncing ball, he could certainly get one which would cost him a whole lot less.

The old (real?) George Steinbrenner was quotable and fiery, never one to practice patience when panic was an option. The old (real?) George Steinbrenner was bigger than life, banned from baseball for a time in the 1970's for, of all things, illegal political campaign contributions. This was the guy who, after luring Dave Winfield to New York from San Diego via free-agency, said "Reggie Jackson is Mr. October, Dave Winfield is Mr. May," when asked to compare the two players, thereby expressing his displeasure at Winfield's poor postseason performances in no uncertain terms.

The old (real?) George Steinbrenner would not have been caught dead issuing a calm, anti-inflammatory quote like "the third baseman" when faced with such a golden opportunity to instill fear and loathing into his team's clubhouse.

The old (real?) George Steinbrenner might have disparaged Gary Sheffield for perhaps enjoying New York's famous nightlife a little too much when faced with his wrist injury; he may have questioned Tanyon Sturtze's work ethic upon learning of the pitcher's torn rotator cuff. What he really would have said is anyone's guess, but the point here is simply this - he would have said something.

Maybe The Boss has just mellowed with age, anything is possible. Or maybe, just maybe, it's something a little more sinister. But if the real George Steinbrenner was taken captive by aliens and is being examined in a mother ship somewhere out in deep space, one thing is certain - he's giving those poor aliens more than they bargained for, and they'll be rushing him back to earth to get rid of him as soon as they can accomplish it and save face with all the other aliens.

Joe Torre, on winning his 1000th game as skipper of the Yankees: "A thousand is a lot of wins...The Yankee record book is a special place to be. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be here this long."

What I meant to say: "A thousand is about 950 wins more than I expected to get in this zoo. I've got ulcers the size of George Steinbrenner's savings account. The only person around here with bigger ulcers is Brian Cashman."

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Josh Bard, ex-Red Sox catcher, prior to his being traded for Doug Mirabelli, on his ability to catch Tim Wakefield's knuckleball: "I know [Wakefield] believes in me, and I believe in me."

What I meant to say: "Oh you asked if I could catch it! I thought you said 'Can you watch it...."

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Hootie Johnson, Executive Director at Augusta National Golf Club, who recently announced he would be stepping down after eight years at the helm: "Our greatest concern has always been that the course be kept current with the times."

What I meant to say: "Martha Burk, I'll be roasting in hell before you ever step one single solitary foot on my golf course. Now, where are the rest of the Blowfish, I think it's time for a reunion tour."

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Martha Burk, former chairperson of the National Council of Women's Organizations, famous for protesting Augusta National's lack of female membership at the Masters Tournament in 2002: I hope that Billy Payne [incoming Augusta National Chairman] will exercise stronger leadership and better judgement than Hootie Johnson has, I would welcome a dialogue."

What I meant to say: "I'm glad that troglodite is finally gone. He'd better not even think about stepping foot inside my Curves gym. Billy Payne had better step up and talk to me, I haven't even had a whiff of the spotlight since 2002."

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Bill Parcells, Dallas Cowboys head coach, on having to answer question after question about new acquisition Terrell Owens: "I answered 35 questions on him the other day. That will be the last on him until we get on the field at practice in training camp. You won't hear anything else from me on that subject."

What I meant to say: "I'm already losing sleep over what he's going to do our team's chemistry. Now I wish I had given Jerry Jones my home phone number after the end of last season."

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Bud Selig, Major League Baseball Commissioner, on why MLB will not celebrate Barry Bonds breaking Babe Ruth's 714 home run mark: "Whatever happens, happens. We're going to let nature take its course."

What I meant to say: "His body is breaking down slowly but surely. We may not be able to stop him from breaking Ruth's mark, but we're betting he won't make it to Aaron's."

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Reggie Bush, on being selected by the New Orleans Saints as the #2 pick in the NFL Draft: "This is a dream come true....the dream of playing in the NFL. In that I think it's good to be here."

What I meant to say: "New Orleans? What happened to Houston? All I accomplished in my college career and I have to play for New Orleans? Is this a joke? Am I being punked?"

Everyone likes to enjoy fine dining at a nice restaurant once in a while. That's why I've decided to offer, free of charge, the following review of a local dining establishment right in your neighborhood. It's called the All-American Sports Cafe, and they offer a number of different choices, from breakfast around the clock featuring their award-winning Paul Coffee (Good and strong, but a little old), to delicious full-course meals.

Here are some of the choices which stand out. You may have some favorites which aren't listed here, or you may have had a different dining experience with the selections on the list. If so, don't hesitate to add your own thoughts, which will only expand this restaurant review and make it that much more complete.

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The Barry Bonds/Balco Bar : An extensive selection of health drinks designed to add to your physique; to give you that cut, chiseled look that everyone desires. There's something here for everyone who wants to get juiced!

The Duke Lacrosse Omelette : Not the All-American Sports Cafe's most popular item. When you're finished, you know something bad went down, you just can't quite determine what it was.

The Favre Omelette : Filled with quality ingredients, all just a bit past their prime. As soon as you finish this omelette, you're not sure whether it's going to come back up or not until just before you have to decide what you want for your next meal.

Steve Nash Toast : Complements every other item on the menu very well. Drawbacks: A little greasy, and only comes in white.

The Ryan Leaf Salad : Filled with prime ingredients, looks great on the menu. You'll be tempted to begin your meal with this, but don't be fooled. Some of the ingredients may have been picked before they fully matured. The Ryan Leaf Salad will leave you feeling unfulfilled and disappointed. The aftertaste is very bitter.

Patriot Stew : Chef Belichick is continually experimenting, discarding expensive ingredients in search of more affordable ones. This item usually surprises people, as it is always better than they expect it to be. The secret is in how the ingredients are mixed together. Give the "Super Bowl Serving" a try, it's normally in the running for best item on the menu.

The Steinbrenner : You get to hand-pick the best of everything off the menu, even off other diners' tables if you want it badly enough! Exciting, but leaves you feeling a little bloated. Don't forget the Gold Card, because this one's a bit expensive!

The Rocket : For the adventuresome only, this is for people who like to take a chance. Order The Rocket, and you get either New York strip steak, Boston creme pie, or Texas toast, but you never know which one you will receive until it arrives at your table. It's a mystery! A fun concept, but the drawback is that your order seems to take forever to arrive. You'll feel like your waiting for it until July.

Papelbon-bons : The newest item on the menu, this rookie dessert is the perfect item with which to close out your meal. It's record is unblemished so far, no one has yet been disappointed.