Have you ever noticed the sporting world has a language all its own? Someone who doesn't follow sports can sit down in front of, say, ESPN SportsCenter or any similar forum, listen attentively for an hour and have no clue what the people on the show are discussing, even if they speak perfect English. Or Spanish, if they happen to be watching ESPN Deportes.

Nowhere is this more evident than when you listen to management types in the world of sports discussing their teams. They seem to specialize in telling the media things without really telling them anything, with bonus points added in for length of statement. The longer the nonsensical statement, the more points awarded.

For example, take the Brett Favre/Green Bay Packers situation. Management types all over the NFL have shifted into Obfuscation Overdrive, running up incredible point totals; totals that would bring a pinball machine to its knees, with statements like the following from New York Jets Head Coach Eric Mangini.

When asked if he had discussed the possibility of obtaining Favre with GM Mike Tannenbaum, Mangini replied, "I feel the same way as I felt yesterday and nothing's changed. With any conversations me and Mike have, Mike likes to talk about a lot of different scenarios and he enjoys a good chart, he enjoys a good graph and he enjoys a lot of scenarios. That's what he does, and that's what he's supposed to do. So, just normal discussions that we always have."

And that's so true with all of us, isn't it? Who among us doesn't enjoy a good chart and graph every now and then?

Or, how about this beauty from New England Patriots Head Coach Bill Belichick, discussing the hiring of defensive backs coach Dom Capers: "He's been in a number of 3-4 systems. The Pittsburgh system. Nick (Saban's) system in Miami. The one he ran in Houston. He adds a lot of quality experience. I'm not sure exactly all the ways we'll use him, but we'll figure those out.''

Uh, coach, you do realize he's not going to, you know, actually play, right? My guess is Belichick saw the quote from his former disciple Mangini in New York and decided to show off; to let the kid know that the old Master still has a few moves left.

So there you have it - The art of saying something without actually saying anything. It's not just a Jedi mind-trick, and it's not just for politicians anymore, either; although with this being a presidential election year, you can be sure this is only the beginning.

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If you love fiction and you have a few spare minutes, check out my website, www.allanleverone.com

Why is there all of a sudden such attention being paid to the postgame handshakes (Or non-handshakes, in some instances) of NFL head coaches?

After Eric Mangini left the New England Patriots coaching staff to take over the head coaching job in New York, the post-game brusque-fest after the first time the two teams met was scrutinized and dissected almost as thoroughly as the actual game. Belichick didn't shake Mangini's hand! They barely spoke!

Newsflash: It seems pretty apparent the two men don't like each other much, and that particular incident took place before Belichick extended an olive branch to Mangini earlier this season by graciously taking some action pics of the Jets on the sidelines and Mangini showed his appreciation by tattling to the league office.

But what's the point of that quaint post-game ritual anyway? Is it a carryover from the grainy, black-and-white early days of the NFL when players would run around in their leather helmets with no face shields, happily concussing each other, then meet at midfield after the game to congratulate one another before staggering off to the nearest watering hole to share a beer and a headache?

Today's NFL is a multi-billion dollar enterprise where the pressure to win is enormous and coaching careers and reputations can be won and lost based upon thousands of individual decisions, every single one of which is being schemed against and thwarted by the guy in the headset standing on the other side of the field. Is it really reasonable to expect a coach to shake his counterpart's hand, at least with any enthusiasm, after that guy has been spending the last three hours doing his absolute best to take food off the coach's dinner table?

And why are the head coaches the only ones who have to play nice? If they have to kiss and make up at the end of the game, wouldn't logic suggest the offensive and defensive coordinators seek each other out too, so they can share their own personal Oprah moment? Or maybe the offensive coordinator should find the opposing defensive guru, since that's the guy he's been playing chess against all day.

What other professional sport requires the opposing coaches to routinely meet after the game and make nice? Could you imagine if they had that tradition in the NHL? Just try and picture it - after fifteen exhausting minutes of slipping and sliding across the ice in their wing-tip shoes, the coaches immediately start to go at it, pulling each other's suit jacket over their heads and pummelling each other.

I understand the handshake tradition in college football, where we try to convince ourselves that "amateur" athletics is all about sportsmanship and teaching values, rather than about wins and losses and dollars and cents. But it's time to let go of the silly, anachronistic handshake ritual in the NFL. If I'm Joe Gibbs, should I really be forced to shake your hand after you squeaked by me by six touchdowns and a field goal?

Just a few observations on Wild-Card weekend:

1) Tom Coughlin looked like a guy who knows his time in New York is over. Maybe it's just me, but didn't it look like the Giants head coach had an eyes glazed over, deer-in-the-headlights look on his face every time the camera showed him on the sidelines in their playoff loss to the Eagles? Lips pressed tightly together, expression completely emotionless. He looked like he was wound a little too tight, even by the standards of an NFL coach.

Remember this line from the first Matrix movie? "You hear that Mr. Anderson? That is the sound of inevitablility." It looked to me like Coughlin was a guy who heard the sound of inevitability loud and clear, and who knows he will be somewhere else next season.

2) Rumors of the Colts' death have been greatly exaggerated. Is there anyone who would have predicted the following stat line for Larry Johnson of the Chiefs in their matchup at Indy this weekend? 13 carries, 32 yards, 2.5 yard average.

The conventional wisdom was that LJ would shred the porous Colts defense for anywhere from 120 to 250 yards in maybe the most intriguing matchup of the weekend. Obviously no one gave the Indianapolis defense the message that they were supposed to lay down and give up. The question is, can they repeat the performance next weekend against Baltimore?

Don't count the Colts out, because of every team in the playoffs this year, Indianapolis compiled the best record in games against quality opponents, which I define as any opponent who finished above .500. Using this standard, the Colts have gone 5-1 this year against quality opponents, best in the league.

If the game was being played in the RCA Dome, I believe you would have to give the nod to the Colts. But since Baltimore hosts the game, outdoors in January, given the struggles of Peyton Manning on the road in the playoffs, plus the fact that the Ravens went 4-2 against quality opponents this season, look for the Ravens to win a tight one.

3) Maybe Bill Parcells knows a little bit about football. Back in November, when Tony Romo was the toast of the NFL, Parcells said something like, "Let's not anoint this kid just yet." Whatever he's using for a crystal ball, I want it, because the last few weeks of the season, Romo became very ordinary, then hit rock bottom in the Cowboys' loss to Seattle over the weekend, fumbling the snap on the game-winning field goal try.

After the game, Romo said, "I cost the Dallas Cowboys a playoff win....I don't know if I've ever felt this low." Romo may very well come back and have a fine career, but ultimately this year is not one he will look back on fondly. I wonder what Drew Bledsoe was thinking?

4) Hugs, handshakes, who cares? For a while, in the days leading up to the Patriots 37-16 win over the Jets, it felt like the cast of "The View" was providing the pregame coverage. Belichick and Mangini don't like each other, their relationship is chilly, they barely shook hands after the teams' last meeting. It was almost as if the actual game was going to take a back seat to the emotional story of the relationship between the two head coaches. Sheesh!

No doubt everyone's eyes teared up with the big hug the two men shared after the game. Maybe now the focus can get back on football.

-----Jason Giambi, after one of the five Yankee wins over Boston this past weekend: "Both teams are going back and forth like prizefighters." Sure Jason, if the Yankees are Mike Tyson and the Red Sox are Pee Wee Herman.

-----Marion Jones, Olympic Champion sprinter, after testing positive for illegal drugs Monday: "I was shocked when I was informed about the positive 'A' sample. I have requested that the testing of my 'B' sample be expedited and done as soon as possible." Very good effort, and undoubtedly spoken with true sincerity. However, next time it might be wise to get someone other than Floyd Landis' scriptwriter to provide your material.

-----Buddy Bell, Kansas City Royals manager, after watching his team blow a ten-run first inning lead and lose in extra innings to the Cleveland Indians, 15-13: "It's unfortunate, and it's hard to take right now. But you should never stop playing." For a while, it must have looked to Kansas City's shell-shocked fans like they literally would never stop playing, after watching the two teams score 28 runs on 35 hits over four long hours.

-----Eric Mangini, New York Jets head coach, after hearing running back Kevan Barlow had compared former coach Mike Nolan to Adolph ####: "I thought his comments were inappropriate." No word yet on when Barlow will make the ineviatable Mangini/Mussolini comparison.

-----Terrell Owens, Dallas Cowboys wide receiver, explaining why he is once again unable to practice with the team due to a pulled hamstring: "At this point, I'm going to be smart about it." No doubt stupidity is just around the corner, if history is any indication.

-----Travis Tygart, United States Anti-Doping Agency general counsel, on sprinter Justin Gatlin's acceptance of an eight-year ban from track and field events after testing positive for steroids: "He accepted liability." Hey, Floyd Landis' speechwriter can't be everywhere, you know.

-----Bill Belichick, New England Patriots head coach, on the status of placekicker Martin Gramatica, six hours before releasing him: "I think he's been very competitive in camp....he handles the elements well." Clearly, a lot can change in six hours.