A few thoughts and observations as I watch the Celtics march, workmanlike, toward their 56th win of the season, the best for the franchise since 1991.

- North Carolina is quite simply the best college basketball team in the country. Hopefully they have enough room in the trophy case at the Dean Smith Center for the 2008 National Championship trophy, because that's where it's headed. The Tar Heels have it all: size, speed, outside shooting, rebounding. They can push the ball up the floor or sink three-pointers, depending on what the defense gives them.

No disprespect intended to Memphis, UCLA, Kansas or any other team still alive, but but based on last weekend's action, it's hard to imagine anyone beating UNC until next winter.

- How can you not be excited for the Davidson College Widcats? After coming back from a 17-point deficit in their opening round game against Gonzaga to win going away, 82-76, they made it to the Sweet Sixteen with another big comeback victory over Georgetown, 74-70. And "Cat" is a perfect description for the dynamic and lightning-quick Stephen Curry, the Sporting News second-team All-American who has scored 70 points in Davidson's first two tournament wins, 55 of them in the second half of those games.

Prior to last weekend, Davidson College's last NCAA Tournament win was way back in 1969, and their improbable run continues Friday night against Wisconsin in a game that's looking a lot less like a three seed against a ten seed and a lot more like an upset special.

- Who slips on a fast-food wrapper? Did you see the story about Broncos wide receiver Brandon Marshall, who supposedly did exactly that, putting his arm through an entertainment center in an attempt to brace himself, and suffering an injury requiring stitches? Not exactly a smooth move, and a situation that makes you wonder if maybe there's not more to the story than what is being told here. Hmmm.

- Big surprise: Chad Johnson is skipping the Cincinnati Bengals offseason workout. Is there anyone in the world who expected Johnson to be there? He has made it perfectly clear for months how unhappy he is in Cincinnati and if there's one thing Johnson is not, it's subtle.

For their part, the Bengals organization is downplaying the absence, pointing out that the workouts are voluntary and that T.J. Houshmandzadeh isn't there either. The Bengals continue to insist they won't be trading Johnson. We haven't heard the end of this story, unfortunately.

-It's finally Opening Day! Whether you're a fan of the Red Sox or A's, or can't stand either team, if you love baseball, this is the day you've waited for all winter. There's plenty of other action to keep a sports fan's interest over the long winter months, but for a baseball fan this is the day you marked on your calendar months ago. It's about time!

Well, no wonder Darren McFadden runs so fast! According to a report published in the Atlanta Journal Constitution Sunday night, the former Arkansas running back, who wowed scouts with his 4.27 and 4.33 40-yard dash times at the NFL scouting combine in Indianapolis, "is not only battling a paternity suit, but...told a team during an interview Saturday night that he has two children on the way."

This, more than anything else, explains why defense lawyers everywhere are reluctant to allow their "presumed innocent" clients to open their mouths, especially under oath. The point of fighting a paternity suit, one would assume, would be to deny that you are the father of the little bundle of joy, wouldn't it?

To then admit to a team during an interview that you, in fact, will be a father twice soon can't make the job of McFadden's lawyer any easier, unless of course, McFadden was saying that he has two other children on the way and thus couldn't possibly have had time to father the third, disputed, baby.

In any event, the running back, who seems to be giving a whole new meaning to the description "explosive," will need to hit a big First Round payday if he is going to be forced to support little, tiny Darrens at the rate two per offseason. Hopefully once he's had millions of dollars thrust at him he can even afford a condom or two.

The obvious question though, and I'm sure you were thinking it too, is this: Is there any possibility whatsoever McFadden could slip all the way down to twelfth in the draft and be taken by the Broncos?

I know, I know, it deifes all logic and won't happen. But wouldn't it be worth it just to see "Bring Your Child To Work Day" in Denver? Between McFadden and Travis Henry, another running back who you would have to call "prolific," although not necessarily for yardage reasons, they would need to construct an addition on Invesco Field just to have room for the progeny of those two guys.

One thing seems clear, anyway. Darren McFadden either needs to learn to run just as fast away from the women throwing themselves at him as he did at the combine last weekend, or else someone has to explain the virtues of condom use to him, and fast.

If he thinks women were throwing themselves at him when he was a bigshot SEC football player, just wait until he's a bigshot NFL player; and it takes lots of money to raise a child. Just ask Travis Henry.

It's Top Ten Time!

As we wait breathlessly for the historic battle between New England and the Giants, with a never-before-accomplished 16-0 record on the line, it's time to look back at the ten best nicknames given to NFL teams over the years.

This is a highly scientific list based on several important factors, including: Historical significance, creativity, how much the names appealed to me, and how much each contributed to world peace. Okay, I made that last one up. Just wanted to see if you were paying attention.

I then entered each nickname into a supercomputer which crunched all the variables using an algorithm developed jointly by NASA scientists and the guys who live in the basements of their parents' homes and determine the BCS standings. I can't go into any more detail than that; in fact, I fear I may have said too much already.

Interestingly, seven of the top ten nicknames refer specifically to outstanding defensive units, showing the importance attached to a strong defense in NFL circles.

In any event, the top-secret supercomputer spit out the following. Without further ado, allow me to present the Top Ten NFL Team Nicknames Ever:


10) Greatest Show on Turf

This nickname was given to the explosive offense developed by Mike Martz and executed by the St. Louis Rams between 1999 and 2001. The 2000 Rams set NFL records both for total offensive yards and for passing yards, and the Rams reached the Super Bowl twice in that three year span, winning once and losing once in the biggest Super Bowl upset since the Jets won Super Bowl II.


9) Electric Company

This was the nickname bestowed on the Buffalo Bills offensive line of the 1970's, the group which opened holes for "The Juice," as O.J. Simpson was known at the time. Before getting away with murder, Simpson had a tremendous rushing career in Buffalo, and his offensive line turned on The Juice, resulting in the ninth-best nickname ever.


8) Air Coryell

In the early 1980's, the San Diego Chargers defied conventional NFL wisdom, which said keeping the ball on the ground and controlling the clock was the way to win games. The Chargers used quarterback Dan Fouts's arm and passing skills to rack up yardage through the air. Coryell's philosophies would later go on to become the basis for Mike Martz's "Greatest Show on Turf" in the late 1990's and early 2000's.


7) New York Sack Exchange

This nickname was given the ferocious defense of the early-1980's New York Jets, led by defensive end Mark Gastineau, who set a then-NFL record for sacks in a season in 1984, with 22, and racked up 100.5 sacks in just the first 100 starts of his career.


6) Gang Green

The nickname given the Philadelphia Eagles defense of the late-1980's, coached by Defensive Coordinator Buddy Ryan. Reggie White, Jerome Brown, Seth Joiner, and Andre Waters led the defense. The nickname was later co-opted by the New York Jets.


5) Doomsday Defense

Two different Dallas Cowboy defensive units have earned this nickname. The 1972 Super Bowl VI-winning team was led by Herb Adderley, Bob Lilly and Mel Renfro. The 1978 Super Bowl XII-winning team was led by Randy White, Harvey Martin and Ed "Too Tall" Jones.


4) Purple People Eaters

From the late-1960's through the late-1970's the Minnesota Vikings played in four Super Bowls, anchored by their defense, which featured defensive linemen Alan Page, Carl Eller, Jim Marshall and Gary Larsen. Their motto? "Meet at the quarterback."


3) Orange Crush

The 1970's Denver Broncos featured this run-stopping defense, led by linebackers Randy Gradishar and Tom Jackson, as well as defensive linemen Lyle Alzado and Rubin Carter.


2) Steel Curtain

The nickname given the anchors of the four-time Super Bowl winning defense of the 1970's. Steel Curtain members included Mean Joe Greene, L.C. Greenwood, Ernie Homes. Dwight White, Jack Lambert, Jack Ham, Mel Blount and Andy Russell. This suffocating defense led the 1976 team to a Super Bowl win despite the loss of quarterback Tery Bradshaw partway through the season. The Steel Curtain boasted five shutouts that year, including three in a row.


1) Monsters of the Midway

Maybe the most descriptive, longest-running nickname in football. The early-1940's Chicago Bears, a team that dominated the NFL in those years, gave rise to this descriptive title, which was resurrected in the mid-1980's for another edition of a dominating Bears squad. Any NFL fan who hears the phrase "Monsters of the Midway" immediately pictures the distinctive Bears old-style uniforms and long tradition, including a 73-0 victory over Washington Redskins in the 1940 NFL Championship Game.

Tired of indictments against champion home run hitters? Of drug suspensions, of holdouts, of baseball teams trading their best players because they can't afford to keep them, of basketball players threatening to blackmail their coaches? Are you tired of all the muck and dirt that seems to follow big-time sports and the people who play them?

How about these two words for a little change of pace: Kevin Everett.

Maybe you remember - Of course you remember, it was less than three months ago - when Everett, the Buffalo Bills tight end, suffered a severe spinal cord injury making a tackle in the Bills season opener against Denver on September 9. The injury, initially termed life-threatening, was so bad that Everett spent his first three days in the hospital hooked up to life support machinery.

Kevin Everett was all you heard about for the first week or so after the injury, and rightfully so. It was a frightening sight to see him lying on the field not moving and it occurred on a play that looked completely routine. He was paralyzed from the neck down when he arrived at the hospital, never a good prognosis, and if you're anything like me, you assumed that's how he would spend the rest of his life.

Kevin Everett is walking. Not walking with the aid of a walker or crutches, not walking leaning on someone for support. Kevin Everett is walking.

According to the Associated Press, Everett has recovered to the point where he is well enough to walk from the car to the rehab facility he attends every day and back again.

Does that mean he'll be the next Tedy Bruschi and eventually return to the NFL? Of course not, but for a guy who less than three months ago was looking at spending the rest of his life in a wheelchair, walking from the car to the hospital is a major victory, maybe even a real-life miracle.

It's kind of a karmic balance to the tragic story of the senseless murder of the Redskins Sean Taylor; out of nowhere, we learn that the tragic story of Kevin Everett has taken a turn for the better. Much better, in fact.

There are plenty of stories you read if you follow sports that make you shake your head in disgust. Here's one that makes you shake your head in amazement. Am I a Buffalo Bills fan? Hell no. But I'm a Kevin Everett fan. How could you not be?

Just wanted to whip a few thoughts out at you. That's right, a few thoughts. You were expecting something else? Come on, this is a G-rated site, or at least PG. Most of the time, anyway.

Thought #1 - Football players are wired differently than the rest of us. I know, this isn't exactly a goundbreaking revelation, but this weekend's NFL action reinforced my above point a couple of different times.

1) Chris Simms. Team officials won't say when Simms suffered the injury that tore his spleen. It's quite possible, maybe even probable, that they don't know. But there is no question it happened sometime during the Buccaneers loss to Carolina yesterday. Simms had to be helped off the field in the third quarter, missed a series, then returned to the field and finished the game after suffering not a bump or bruise, but a potentially life-threatening injury that later put Tampa's quarterback in intensive care.

Meanwhile, in his postgame comments, head coach Jon Gruden would say only that Simms had suffered from "cramping." Of course he did! He had a torn spleen and internal bleeding!

See? Different wiring. I don't know about you, but I can't imagine any scenario that would involve me suffering an injury serious enough to cause life-threatening internal bleeding, then finish out my shift at work before heading off to the hospital. "I'd love to hang out at the water cooler guys, but I've got this pesky spitting-up-blood thing going on, so I'll see you tomorrow."

2) Patrick Chukwurah. Monday Night Football cameras happened to catch the Denver Broncos linebacker matter-of-factly tossing his cookies through his face mask just prior to a snap in the fourth quarter of Denver's 17-7 win at New England last night. When I'm getting sick to my stomach, I'm doubled up over the commode, cursing life and watching to see if I cough up a lung. Not Up-Chukwura . He watered the Gillette Stadium turf, then continued on with the play. See? Different wiring.

Thought #2 - It's called stupidity. This has been bugging me for a while. Last fall, as NHL training camps opened up after the owners' lockout of the players cost the league an entire season, the Bruins ran a promotional campaign in Boston where the tag line was, "It's called Bruins."

They had a whole year to come up with something and that's the best they could do? "It's called Bruins?" What does that even mean, anyway? People who weren't hockey fans weren't about to embrace the sport or the team after the league took a year off, especially with a stupid slogan like that.

I guess it was appropriate that the Bruins stunk as bad as their ridiculous slogan, and I know what you're thinking: "It was a year ago, let it go already." You're right, and I'm amazed I even remember it considering I'm lucky if I can recall where I put my car keys five minutes ago. I'll drop it now.

Thought #3 - Trevor Hoffman set the all-time saves record Sunday. It must be a combination of the fact that Hoffman is a low-key guy and that he doesn't play in one of the so-called major media markets, but setting a record like that is a testament not just to excellence, but to sustained excellence. Congratulations to him.

That's about the extent of my thoughts for now. Thanks for letting me whip them out at you. Anybody seen my car keys?

NFL preseason schedules are not even two games old, there are still 23 days until the season begins for real, and yet there is plenty of action in camps around the country, some of it even on the field. Most of the usual suspects are up to most of the usual shenanigans, a fact which should come as a surprise to exactly no one. A few examples:

1) Randy Moss: The Oakland Raider receiver, who in the past was famously quoted as saying, "I play when I want to play," discovered Monday night that he might have to revise his remark. Moss was removed from the Raiders' preseason game against the Minnesota Vikings after just one catch. Apparently this was one he still wanted to play in, as he threw his helmet, criticized his coach, and generally acted like, well, Randy Moss. His new statement - "I play when I want to play, unless of course, I can't play."

2) Terrell Owens: He's still not practicing with the Cowboys, and insists he has to be 100% in order to participate in any workouts. It's now been twelve days and counting since Owens worked out with the team, and head coach Bill Parcells is losing patience. "We need to see something here pretty soon," said Parcells. "He has missed a lot of work." Terrell Owens doing his own thing; who would have imagined it? At least he won't be a distraction to the Cowboys.

3) Ashley Lelie: The Broncos wide receiver is still holding out, and Ben Maller of benmaller.com makes a great point. At the current rate he is piling up fines for not honoring his contract, by September 15, which is midway between Denver's first and second games, Lelie could conceivably return "and play the rest of the season for free." His fines would have eaten up his entire 2006 salary of $700,000, proving that nearly three-quarters of a million dollars doesn't go nearly as far as it used to.

4) Deion Branch: The Patriots top receiver is in the midst of his own holdout, demanding a restructured contract. He has amassed over $280,000 in fines, and neither he nor the New England management seem ready to budge, bringing up the obvious question: If Branch and Ashley Lelie go out to lunch, who picks up the check?

5) Practically every NFL team: Hope springs eternal, and if you don't believe it, all you have to do is check out some of the quotes attributed to players from different NFL teams: Donovan McNabb of the Eagles - "We are a Super Bowl team." Tiki Barber said the Giants were a championship caliber team, ditto Mark Brunell of the Redskins, and why not? Everyone's undefeated. What better time to raise hopes for the season than now, before things can start to go wrong?

Meanwhile, not 24 hours after Dennis Green criticized Matt Leinart for not coming to terms on a contract yet, the first-round pick is signed, sealed and delivered. Green must be wondering why he didn't speak up weeks ago. The beat goes on.