If you are a frequent viewer of ESPN, as am I, you know that soon we will begin seeing the commercial for Capitol One Bowl week in which the college football bowl season is advertised to the accompaniment of the classic Christmas song, “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year.”  Yet for many college football fans, particularly those in Ann Arbor, it’s anything but.

For years we have been told by the powers-that-be the Bowl Championship Series (BCS) was the solution for the problems that ailed college football in the eighties and early nineties.  The BCS was supposed to devise a solution in which a national champion was determined not solely by polls and human opinion.  Rather, the BCS would take into consideration computed elements such as strength of schedule and factor that into an overall ranking.  A novel concept that was supposed to create a more level and objective playing field across NCAA football has resulted in the same arguments we were hearing in the days of Jimmy Johnson, Barry Switzer and Tom Osborne.

The BCS, quite simply, is flawed.  It does not mathematically take into consideration whether or not a team is a conference champion.  If it did, UM would have played Oregon in the 2002 Rose Bowl.  It is further flawed by the fact that some teams have to play a final conference championship game and others do not.  Is it fair that Florida had to play Arkansas on December 2 while Ohio State safely stayed at home?

Yet even with computer formulas and mathematical equations, 2/3 of the BCS ranking is, in the end, determined by the human polls.  It still is too subjective.  Can anyone logically explain how Florida leap-frogged Michigan into the number 2 spot in the final poll?  Does not the fact that Jim Tressell, coach of topped ranked Ohio State, abstained from voting in the coaches’ poll so as to not create the perception of a particular preference raise a red flag?  And let’s not even get into the discussion of where teams from mid-major conferences belong in this conversation. 

The truth of the matter is that as long as the landscape among college conferences remains uneven, we will continue to have this debate.  Even with all the proposed 8 team playoff scenarios, there will always be a team that ranks ninth that will argue it got shunned out of the playoff picture.  

I believe the solution starts with every conference having at least 12 teams.  This may require the addition of teams from other mid-major conferences and, as a result, the elimination of those lesser conferences.  Every conference would have a championship game, and the conference champion would have an automatic berth into the BCS or playoff system.  The college football schedule would be reduced to 9 games to allow for a conference championship and playoffs, and rankings would not be determined until after week 4 of the season.

It's true, I have not thought out the details, and sure, it sounds like a lot of other proposals circulating the water cooler.  As is evident by this past football season, nothing – with the exception to Ohio State’s record – is perfect.  If it were, my Hurricanes would be planning a trip to Glendale, Arizona.

There’s a saying, “When life throws you lemons, make lemonade”, and right now there is nothing sweeter than the relationship I share with my awesome girlfriend Lee.  She is intelligent, beautiful and passionate.  She is also my biggest fan and tells me everyday how much she believes in me and in us.

People see us and take the time to point out how happy we are together.  A huge part of that happiness is the many passions we both share.  Be it music (we’re both HUGE Sister Hazel fans) or traveling or college football (yes, I said college football and yes, I’m one lucky dude), we share these passions together and that only makes our relationship stronger.

As luck and fate would have it, we both now get to share the uncertainty that is the football coaching situation for our favorite college teams.  Lee is a Crimson Tide fan having been born and raised in Southern Alabama.  As you already know, I am a fan of ‘The U’, which for Larry Coker now means Unemployed.

I think it’s kind of cool that I can grow closer to my girl with conversations about the coaching carousel, rumored short lists and Steve Spurrier.  I think it’s awesome that we both get to fill our Winter with who interviewed where and the recruiting hit our favorite program is taking.  It’s so much fun for us to take jabs at each other as I remind her the Canes won a title as recently as 2001 and she reminds me of George Teague and the 1993 Sugar Bowl. Yes, sharing a passion is definitely part of the recipe for a happy relationship. 

That is, however, until the realization this shared passion can become a competitive situation.  What if both programs target the same coach?  What if Greg Shiano is the top choice for UM and Bama?  What if the Tide and the Canes both show interest in Rich Rodriguez?  What if one university has to ‘settle’ for a coach because the other team got the better candidate?  What if Lamar Thomas had outrun Teague on that now infamous play?!?!?

Now I realize that what I thought would bring us closer together may end up tearing us apart!

No worries.  The great thing about Lee is that when she is blinded by a passion, which is an infrequent occurrence, I can easily distract her with a picture of Dwyane Wade (a personal passion of hers) and, of course, some sweet lemonade!

It’s the day before The Game, Michigan at Ohio State, and all the rage is debating the existing system for determining a national champion in college football.  As it exists, the Bowl Championship Series (BCS) in inherently unfair because it excludes teams from “lesser” conferences.  In addition to the BCS BS, there is the discussion of which one-loss team most deserves to play the Ohio State/Michigan winner for the National Championship in January.  Finally, throw into the mix the question of where Rutgers should play if they finish their season undefeated.  As someone who has followed the Big East for some time now, I can’t believe I actually typed that sentence. 

Say what you will about strength of schedule, computer rankings and program tradition.  Throw out the talk about poll bias, East coast bias or what did the boosters buy us.  Barring the implementation of a true playoff system, the arguments surrounding college football’s top prize will live on and on and on.  That is, of course, until the implementation of the GCS – the Gonzo Championship System.

In a situation like this year where you have one undefeated team from a major conference and possibly 6 or 7 deserving, one-loss teams vying to play for the national championship, the GCS would completely resolve the debate and setup the correct title game match up.  Try to stay with me on this because the GCS is a complex, mathematically sound and culturally significant formula.  If you’re prone to migraines, you may want to stop reading now.

With the GCS, you start with the capacity of a team’s stadium.  Multiply that by the number of professional football players that school has produced in the last ten years.  Subtract from that the number of professional players from that school that have been arrested, and then add to that the sum of National Championships plus Hiesman Trophies won by that school since 1973.  This number is known as the school’s Football Usage.

Now take the number of alums from that school on People’s 100 Most Beautiful list and add to that the number of alums who have appeared on the cover of Time.  Divide that by the number of alums who were ever in a boy band, them multiply the result by the number of Oscar winning directors, actors or writers not named Coppola produced by that university.  This number becomes the school’s Celebrity Kismet.

Finally, take the number of political science graduates at each university and subtract from that the number of alums who are members of Congress.  Multiply the school’s law program ranking by the number of alum who are attorneys, then divide this number by the previously determined difference.  I know this may seem like we’re double-counting, but it’s designed that way.  The final result is known as the school’s Integrity Trenchancy.

Now multiply the Football Usage by the Celebrity Kismet and add this to the Integrity Trenchancy. 

(FU)(CK) + IT

As you can see, the resulting formula clearly shows which one-loss team deserves to play for the national championship and how it really doesn’t matter if they do.  At the end if it all, Michigan (the other UM) will be crowned king of college football, and everyone will be left saying “Hail! to the victors valiant, Hail! to the conqu'ring heroes, Hail! Hail! to Michigan the leaders and best …….”

As a Miami native now living in Tampa, there are few positive aspects about being a fan of all teams Miami. Now that the outrageous housing market has found its way to Hillsborough County, the positive aspects about living here a fewer. Perhaps the most significant points about being in Tampa and not “home” are the powder white sand on the beaches and walking into McDonald’s and still being able to place my order in English. But I digress.

When it comes to professional sports, there has been a steady balance between Tampa and Miami. The Bay Area is able to claim two recent championships between the Buccaneers and the Lightning. I have been able to counter with the 2003 Marlins and last season’s Miami Heat. For good measure, I throw in the ‘97 World Series and the storied history of the Miami Dolphins. With Shula, Griese, Csonka, Warfield, Marino and the undefeated ’72 team, it’s a no-brainer who wins this contest. Still, Tampa locals cry that I am living in the past and declare it a draw.

So I pull out my ‘U’ card. The ‘U’ card is green and orange and represents a generation of college football dominance. It features the likeness of coaching legend Howard Schnellenberger and those who followed him. It is a laundry list of UM alum who have gone on to play and excel in the NFL. (Ask yourself when was the last time you watched a Sunday night SportsCenter that did not feature highlights of at least 3 former UM players?) It is 5 National Championships and two Heisman Trophy winners. It’s drawing the Ace you need when the other cards in your hand are suited. Or is it?

With apologies to FAMU and FAU, and a proverbial elbow to the head to FIU, there are five major college football programs in Florida. For years the discussion focused around the big three: Florida, Florida State and, of course, The U. Now UCF and USF are in the mix, having displayed relative success in recent years, and producing a handful of NFL caliber players. As of this moment, only two of these five teams may play in a bowl game. The first makes its home in Gainesville and plays in the toughest conference in the NCAA. The second calls Tampa it’s home.

It’s bad enough my football season gets trumped locally by the face of Jon Gruden and the voice of Gene Deckerhoff. Now I have to put up with upstart USF Bulls fans who proclaim the superiority of the Big East over the ACC. Sadly for me, it’s true. The ACC standings leader would be third overall if they played in the Big East. Who is this football juggernaut that may represent the Atlantic Coast Conference in a BCS bowl? Wake Forest. Yes, you read that correctly. Wake Forest.

So what was once my stone cold, lead pipe, “can’t be beat” trump card has now been reduced to a tarnished, “hide it in my wallet” chump card. I am Samson with a crew cut. Not only is my Achilles heal exposed, it’s lying on the table at Benihana in front of an eager chef with a very large knife. Kyle Wright will be golfing in December while Matt Grothe is studying game film.

How did this happen to the Hurricanes? Although the blame rests with Coker – and that’s a blog for another night – the solution, ironically enough, may lie in the Big East. Let’s hope the rumors of Greg Schiano leaving Rutgers for the warm beaches of Miami are true. We all know what a great job he’s done with the Scarlet Knights, and we all know Larry Coker will be sitting his unemployed fanny on the aforementioned beaches this spring. And we all know in our hearts the 'U' will find it’s way back. For my transplanted sake, it has to.