GerbilSportsNetwork's Blog
by: GerbilSportsNetwork
NBA Pushes for Tattoo Cap, Players Association Resists
Feb 20, 2008 | 4:24AM | report this

NEW YORK.  Encouraged by the success of its business-casual dress code in reforming the league's "hip-hop" image, NBA officials today announced that they will push for a "tattoo cap" when the current collective bargaining agreement expires at the end of the 2011 season.

stern_david1121.jpg

Stern: "A tasteful 'Mom' on your bicep will not count against the cap."

"We feel it is important that our players not scare the bejesus out of affluent demographic groups with gangsta-style tattoos," David Stern said at a press conference here today.  "Otherwise we might as well name the next two expansion franchises the 'Crips' and the 'Bloods'," he added, showing off his "street cred" to the admiration of NBA beat reporters.

zaga1.jpg

"This kid's got a lot of heart, and a lot of epidermis."

Under the proposed cap, teams would be limited to a total tattoo coverage of 61% of the upper arms and necks of players on their twelve-man rosters.  Teams could free up cap space by trading a power forward from an "urban" school for a shooting guard from Brigham Young or a flat-footed center from Gonzaga.

nba_g_sonicsowners_275.jpg

Seattle SuperSonics' owners: "Well, there was this girl named 'Tina' . . ." 

Player representatives reacted angrily to the proposal.  Mark Madsden of the Timberwolves said he wanted to see the bodies of NBA owners in the showers before agreeing to any cap.  "Some of these guys may have 'Semper Fi' on their butts.  Let them drop their pants and show the players what they got."

Copyright 2008, Con Chapman

18 Comments | Add a comment   categories: NBA, Stuff and Junk, Mark Madsen, Basketball, Seattle SuperSonics, Gonzaga, Brigham Young
 
« Continue reading GerbilSportsNetwork's Blog
total comments: 18      Page 1 of 1     
YeeMum_
Feb 20, 2008
10:06 AM
Funny stuff!

"street cred"

the "in the showers" line- touche

ADJ72
Feb 20, 2008
11:31 AM
The whole tatoo thing makes me sick. I might be able to look the other way on 1 or 2 small ones with a touch of class, but all this Bull #### they have everywhere is disgusting and childish.

Some of these guys look like members of the Mongols,Pagans,and Hells Angels....the dregs of our society.

Very funny and well written, just a topic that makes me want to puke!!!

I always thought a tatoo was supposed to be visible if you were going to have one. Isn't the idea to "show it off".

Some guys have such dark skin tones..they aren't even visible. Looks like my son scribbled on their arm with a Sharpie Pen.

There is nothing more pathetic than going to a store or out to eat and seeing a man in his 60's all "tatted" up. I just laugh when I see that.

These guys are so impressioned with being cool and forget these are life long decisions. I know they can remove them now, but come on.....that just goes to show you phuked up in the first place.

Last edited by ADJ72 on February 20th at 11:34 AM.

YeeMum_
Feb 20, 2008
12:11 PM
ADJ72~Tread lightly stereo-typing tattooed people.

"Dregs" is not a flattering term and you seem to have limited experience.

I understand you personally have an aversion to skin art.
That does not give you a right to call names.

Friendly advice. :)

Last edited by YeeMum_ on February 20th at 3:43 PM.

ADJ72
Feb 20, 2008
5:29 PM
I am more than entitled to my opinion,and this is a public forum. But your advice is noted. If you notice, the term Dregs was used in conjuncture with the most haneous biker gangs in the USA. I hardly think they are deserving of kindness in the wake of their Gun/Drug running,extortion,murder,and intimidation tactics.Do some homework on the types of behavior those people exhibit, it is not pleasant at all.They may not all be complete crimminals, but when you run in those circles you shouldn't be surprised to be lumped in with the majority. It is part of the deal.

I did not implicate the common man with tatoos, although I personally can't stand them.

slshusker
Feb 20, 2008
8:20 PM
I support the Tat-Cap Act of 2008.
I'm sick of these dudes with the tats of "that one on my right arm is Boo, who was shot while robbing a 7-11 and that other one was half price, so I got it to keep the balance."

Gbrent
Feb 20, 2008
10:51 PM
They could always just make the more heavily "inked" players wear A.I. Sleeves. LOL.

LA_HABRA
Feb 21, 2008
12:20 AM
ey adj i must say that you are really stupid. so you go get a tattoo only so people can see it?how stupid. i got tattoos and you wont be able to see any of them unles i took of my shirt. and i didnt get them because i tought they were cool. i got them because they have a meaning to me. i got it for my self not for other people to look at them.

alaskanballa
Feb 21, 2008
12:31 AM
pretty funny post. I enjoyed it. While not a fan of the tatoo, I understand it is a personal decision.

ADJ...you really seem to have an issue with the guys that have them, hey thats your perogative. I agree about the comment you made on the outlaw motor cycle gangs,but I doubt any of the NBA guys are into that sort of thing. It seems to be more of a status thing with them, just a trend of the times right now. Don't get too worked up over it.

Dudski
Feb 21, 2008
7:29 AM
I think Stern should get a tattoo in solidarity with his players.

YeeMum_
Feb 21, 2008
10:43 AM
This is lost on page whatever now.
ADJ72 ~ I did not question your opinion.- just asked nicely that you tread lightly.
I have no need to do any ‘homework’-(please do not presume to know what I or anyone else doesn’t know)
I understand your stereotypical response to ‘bikers’ (not going to debate it here)
But the man or woman that has 20 or 30 or 40 year old tattoos could probably tell you a story about each of them that might just teach you something besides contempt.

highlander47
Feb 21, 2008
11:32 AM
THE WRITER "LA HABRA" HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD. TATOOS SHOULD ONLY BE MEANINGFUL TO THE PERSON WEARING IT. WHO GIVES A D---M WHAT SHAQ PUTS ON HIS ARM. I KNOW I DONT. MAYBE HE WOULD MAKE MORE FREE THROWS IF THE TATOO DIDNT WEIGH HIS ARM DOWN

oldute
Feb 23, 2008
11:17 PM
Don't know anyone who doesn't regret getting tattooed. and I'm over 60. graffitti on a temple.

Last edited by oldute on February 23rd at 11:19 PM.

RayRay1010
Feb 23, 2008
11:53 PM
Thats just crazy its there bodies. And what is gonna happen to people like Kobe or Lebron or other ppl who are in the league and already have them. At this point in time they are jus being cruel even in the navy ur allowed to have as many tats as u want as long as its not offensive, gang related, above the neck, or on the hands. If u think about it, that way more then 61% of ur body. What r we becoming. Ppl have the right to express themself. They dont have these rules for boxers football baseball or hockey players i guess it cuz the nba is lik 99% black

Last edited by RayRay1010 on February 23rd at 11:57 PM.

81ptsinagame
Feb 26, 2008
2:24 PM
Wow so first no chains then no hip hop clothes which is funny becuz i dont think designers in paris are making hip hop clothes.America the land of the free thats funny too.Bottom line if your an adult you can do what u want who cares if someone laughs at another persons who's tatted i laugh at you who are not.I have over 100 hundred tatts and i make 125 thousand dollars a year if people laugh at me it must be when i leave see online people talk shhh but in person all i get is "I wanna get one but i dont kno where" classic right im 23yrs old and my generation is tatted i really dont care about previous day and age right now we who are tatted is the future so watch what you say.ps dont worry about david stern once the nba starts to lose money he'll get fired and thigs will be back to normal

Lisa H
Feb 26, 2008
2:37 PM
Con....now this was funny! Trading free space for a flat-footed center from Gonzaga! Hilarious!

By the way, I have nothing against tats. But on the Academy Awards the other night, there was a woman who had on a beautiful dress and her tat just completely destroyed the whole look. If you have that much skin art, wear a solid-color dress, for Pete's sake, not a cheetah-print dress with a Chinese dragon going all the way up your arm. You rarely see Angelina wear printed dresses for that very reason. It clashes.

Last edited by Lisa H on February 26th at 2:43 PM.

YeeMum_
Feb 26, 2008
2:48 PM
By all means Lisa, accessories should compliment- not detract!

I enjoyed the free space line too- I just got caught up in the tattoo discussion.

Curious how many commentors took this as a news story?

redbrave40
Mar 14, 2008
2:57 PM
Yeah, not too many BYU Hoopsters have tattoos.

GerbilSportsNetwork
Mar 14, 2008
7:11 PM
As I understand it Mormons can't even drink coffee, much less get a tattoo. That's why Danny Ainge says "Jiminy Christmas" when he gets really mad at Doc Rivers.

Page 1 of 1     
Add a comment  
ABOUT ME


GerbilSportsNetwork
Con Chapman is a Boston-area writer. He is the author of "The Year of the Gerbil: How the Yankees Won (and the Red Sox Lost) the Greatest Pennant Race Ever," a history of the 1978 AL East pennant race, and a number of plays, including "Number One Hockey Mom," "Please, Pope," and "What Mickey Belle Isle Told You," a trilogy about hockey (JAC Publishing). His work is available on Amazon Shorts (at 49 cents a dowload), and he writes on sports for Flak Magazine.
MY FAVORITE BLOGS
The Official FOXSports Blog
ShooterB's Blog
NorthSideFan's Blog
SoCalSportsFan'
s Blog
slammin6's Blog
The_Sports_Inte
llectual's Blog
POINTS ON THE BOARD
Bread and Circuses
Half-Baked Ravings
But It's A DRY Heat . . .
Thank You. I love you all.
Not Your Average Sportswriter
Straight Talk From the Left Coast
jmacsmac's Blog
Time stamping is done in Pacific Time.