EAST RUTHERFORD, New Jersey. Jeff Feagles, veteran place kick holder for the New York Giants, stormed out of the team's dressing room today after accusing reporters of ignoring his contributions to the franchise's incredible 9-10 record over the past two seasons.
Feagles: "How long must I labor in obscurity?"
"You guys have written a book about everybody on this team from Eli Manning to Christine Procops," the Giants' chief financial officer. "What do I have to do to get a little ink around here--become a CPA?"
Crunch Time: A Season Running the Numbers for the New York Giants, $24.95.
Feagles' frustration boiled over after reading a story in Sunday's New York Times that listed eight books published about the Giants this fall, a statistic that other teams around the league cited as evidence of east coast bias by national media outlets headquartered in New York. "We won the Super Bowl last year and there were only three books published about us," complained Rod Zucker, Vice President of Marketing for the Indianapolis Colts. "The New York media is like a drunk who loses his car keys and only looks under the street lamp because that's where the light's best."
Steelers license plate holder
Other teams joined the chorus of complaint. "There were no books published about the Steelers after we won Super Bowl XL," notes Pittsburgh Communications Coordinator Dave Lockett. "We got a license plate holder."
New York publishers denied the accusation, saying they commission books based on anticipated demand and are not prejudiced against other regions of the country. "I asked several people I know, and they all said they'd be more likely to buy a book about the Giants than the Tampa Bay Orioles," sniffed Armand de Borchgrave, a third-generation editor at Farr, Wilkinson & Sanford, which will publish a cookbook of tailgating recipes by Giants' fans for the holiday book market.
Saul Steinberg's famous New Yorker cover: Does the rest of America really matter?
New Yorkers are notorious for their condescending attitude towards the rest of America, as memorably portrayed by Saul Steinberg, the cover artist for The New Yorker magazine whose map depicting Manhattan looming as large as the rest of the country became an instant classic. "After the Steelers won the Super Bowl in 2006 we commissioned David Halberstam to write a book about Giants' fans reactions to the game," de Borchgrave recalls as he wipes a tear from his eye. "He had only written about 760 pages when he died this year."
Halberstam: "For a Steelers fan, perhaps the most important consideration is what a New York writer will say about his beloved team if the Giants do not make the playoffs."
The NFL's licensing office said they would work with New York publishers to introduce them to markets beyond the Tri-State area in the unlikely event that the Giants' dynasty comes to an end in the near future. "We need to educate them," said Phil Burns. "People in Indiana will read something longer than a throw pillow if you give them the chance."
Even if he is considered " the best punter ever" the fact of the matter is, he's still a punter and a holder for kicks. He doesn't deserve the recognition that Eli or Plaxico deserve, so he needs to just STFU and get over it.
Con Chapman is a Boston-area writer. He is the author of "The Year of the Gerbil: How the Yankees Won (and the Red Sox Lost) the Greatest Pennant Race Ever," a history of the 1978 AL East pennant race, and a number of plays, including "Number One Hockey Mom," "Please, Pope," and "What Mickey Belle Isle Told You," a trilogy about hockey (JAC Publishing). His work is available on Amazon Shorts (at 49 cents a dowload), and he writes on sports for Flak Magazine.
