As the Next Great Sportswriter Competition draws to a close, Gerbil Sports Network wishes to correct and amplify the following postings in order to avoid massive libel judgments.

In a December 25th posting titled "Billy Martin--R.I.P." that the Gerbil thought would have the NGS judges bawling like a bunch of Miss America contestants, George Steinbrenner was referred to as "the principal owner of the New York Yankees."  Mr. Steinbrenner is in fact the corpulent, blowhard owner of the Yankees.  The Gerbil regrets its error.

In a posting regarding Albert Belle, the former Cleveland Indians slugger, it was reported that Mr. Belle once chased a group of trick-or-treaters away from his house on Halloween.  Mr. Belle's publicist has pointed out that the children had egged Mr. Belle's house, and thus provoked his actions.  In addition, the children taunted Mr. Belle with the following chant:

"Trick-or-treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat.

If you don't, it's a shame, you'll never make the Hall of Fame!"

In a post regarding NASCAR, the Daytona 500 was referred to as a "series of left turns whose unremitting tedium was punctuated only by fatal crashes."  NASCAR fans have pointed out that their boredom is also alleviated by fights in the pits.  The Gerbil stands corrected.

A commentary on German figure skater Katerina Witt referred to her as a "former East German apparatchik who sucked up to Communist party officials in order to secure her place on national and Olympic teams, which she has parlayed into a lucrative career as a television skating commentator."  Ms. Witt's attorney has provided the Gerbil with copies of her tax returns which demonstrate that being a skating commentator is not, in fact, highly remunerative in light of the hazardous nature of the work, which requires prolonged exposure to #### Button.

A posting on former Ohio State football coach Woody Hayes and Texas Tech basketball coach Bobby Knight--"When Coaches Attack!"--described the incidents in which Mr. Hayes hit an opposing team's defensive back with a clipboard and Mr. Knight threw a folding chair at a basketball referee.  The Ohio State public relations department claims that Mr. Hayes was actually showing the defensive back a pro-style cover two setup in an effort to increase the young man's knowledge of football.  Mr. Knight's publicist alleges that he threw a folding chair "to" rather than "at" a referee who had been on his feet all day so that the official could avoid shin splints.

Former Boston Bruin Marty McSorley was described as a "goon" for his two-fisted attack on Vancouver Canucks' forward Donald Brashear that resulted in an assault conviction in 2000.  The Gerbil meant to say "thug."

A posting on Dennis Rodman referred to the former NBA great as of "dubious gender."  Mr. Rodman informed the NGS judges that there is no doubt as to his/her gender as he/she expresses himself in all of them.  He admitted to being of dubious sanity.

Copyright 2006, Con Chapman