ELK GROVE, Illinois. The American Academy of Pediatrics today recommended that all soccer players under the age of 24 wear helmets while playing or practicing to avoid injuries from "headers," the practice of hitting an airborne ball with one's head in order to pass or score.
"We stopped short of recommending air bags, but we couldn't overlook the fact that hitting a soccer ball with your head produces an impact nearly twice as powerful as a collision between football players," said AAP Executive Director Neil Michaels. "It's a 50g force, which can cause long-term neurologic damage."
The group also recommended that soccer players be allowed to pick up the ball and run with it, and to pass it forward to other players. "Once the kids have helmets on, there's no reason why they shouldn't have some fun," noted Michaels. "Kids try headers because they get bored poking a ball around with their feet. Soccer's too much like work."
The President's Council on Youth Fitness supported the pediatricians' recommendations. "Soccer is responsible for more third world deaths than malaria," noted Fritz Wilson, Chairman of that bi-partisan body. "You don't see people getting killed after championship games in America, except maybe in Boston, Chicago, Detroit, Los Angeles and New York. Wait--I forgot Miami."
Wilson said he would support federal legislation to convert soccer "goals" into "touchdowns" worth six points, with a "free kick" afterwards worth an "extra point." "Let's face it," he said, "soccer's biggest problem is low scores, not a couple of kids with concussions."
Con Chapman is a Boston-area writer. He is the author of "The Year of the Gerbil: How the Yankees Won (and the Red Sox Lost) the Greatest Pennant Race Ever," a history of the 1978 AL East pennant race, and a number of plays, including "Number One Hockey Mom," "Please, Pope," and "What Mickey Belle Isle Told You," a trilogy about hockey (JAC Publishing). His work is available on Amazon Shorts (at 49 cents a dowload), and he writes on sports for Flak Magazine.
