I never thought I would see a worst dressed draftee than Karl Malone in the 1985 NBA Draft.....

...until I saw Joakim Noah come on the stage tonight!

The bow tie might be worse than the knit tie and although Malone looked like he pulled a pair of old Dockers out of his closet and mugged a 6'11" waiter on his way to the draft, nothing compares to the Krusty the Klown Hair and the peace sign. This image will live in infamy FOREVER!!!

Go Gators!

It's late and I want to go to sleep but after what I just witnessed in the Jazz - Warriors game (Jazz won, 127-117 in overtime)  I just want to fire off some thoughts about Derek Fisher.  What I witnessed tonight was a true portrait of courage and showed someone who has the heart of a champion and the character of an army.  This was a "Willis Reed" moment and something that will be discussed and remembered for a long time to come.

Just a quick recap for those that may not have seen the game and what happened.  Derek Fisher was excused from the team because his little girl has a rare form of eye cancer and she was having surgery this morning in New York.  According to the ABC affiliate in Salt lake City, she has a tumor behind here eye between her eye and her brain.  After the surgery, he, his wife and his daughter flew back to Salt Lake City.  When they landed, Fisher asked his wife is he could go to the game and she told him to go.  Little did Fisher know when he showed up in the third quarter that Deron Williams was in serious foul trouble and Dee Brown went out with what looked like a very serious neck injury.  So out of the locker room comes Fisher and the crowd just erupts.  Fisher comes on to play a crucial ten minutes, scores five points in overtime, nets three assists but most importantly he hit a huge three point shot, made a big stop on Baron Davis forcing a turnover and he provided such an emotional lift to his team.

After the game Fisher spoke about the rare form of cancer that his daughter had, his first public statements describing the illness.  He spoke of the importance of his family and his faith and at times looked like he was going to cry while Pam Oliver interviewed him but he held it together.  It was nice to see his former Warrior teammates come up and embrace him after the game and on the TNT post game show, Charles, Ernie and magic had nothing but good things to say about Derek.  God bless Derek Fisher and his family in their time of need.

The bottom line is this.  At a time when rotten, nasty, selfish and surly athletes seem to dominate the sports pages and our national discourse, it's such a refreshing breath of fresh air to see a genuinely good, humble, God fearing, family man have a night like tonight and provide inspiration to all of us that love sport.  As bloggers we spend so much time talking about Bonds and Clemens and Pacman and Moss and Schilling.  We dwell on shortcomings and failure.  We insult each others teams/colleges/conferences and as we are seeing right now on the Fox blogs, sometimes even each other.  Sometimes we go over the top (I know I have and I have an army of Notre Dame fans that will point that out to me) with what we say and what we write because we just don't really have something positive to write about.  I know I feel that way sometimes, I'm sure we all do.  That is why I will not forget anytime soon what I witnessed tonight.  That is why I've never felt this good writing my blog before.  I know my buddy steelerfan writes so eloquently about these types of things and does a much better job then I'm doing right now but if I may be so bold as to borrow a phrase from him...Derek Fisher, my friends, is a beautiful example of the human side of sports.
 

"Alright now, for all you boppers out there in the big city. All you street people with an ear for the action, I’ve been asked to relay a request from the Gramercy Riffs. It’s a special for The Warriors. That’s that real live bunch from Coney, and I do mean The Warriors. Here’s a hit with them in mind.  Be looking good Warriors, all the way back to Coney. You hear me babies? Good. Real good. Adios."

The 1979 cult classic The Warriors spins a tale about the impossible journey that a mythical New York City street gang must go through to make it from the Bronx back home to Coney Island after being unfairly accused by rival gang member Luther of killing Cyrus, the leader of the biggest gang in the city who was attempting to unite all New York City street gangs. To make matters worse, the truce has been called off, the Warriors have no weapons and every gang in the city is out looking for them.

Fast forward 29 years and we see a similar tale involving an improbable journey of some new Warriors taking shape.  The Golden State Warriors upset of the Dallas Mavericks was one of the greatest upsets in NBA playoff history.  We all have heard by now that the Warriors were the first #8 seed to knock off a #1 seed in a best-of-seven series.  We all know about the bad blood between Don Nelson and Mark Cuban, the modern day Cyrus among NBA owners.  There's no need to look at the past.  Just like the Warriors in 1979 couldn't revel in victory after taking down the Turnbull AC's (especially with The Orphans lurking around the corner), the Golden State Warriors need to look ahead on their struggle to get to Coney Island (Detroit?).

"Okay, let’s get down to it boppers. We’re gonna have to do better out there. Our friends just made it past one of the minor league teams. Remember boppers, be lookin’ good."

So the immediate question at hand is "can the Warriors get past Utah?"  While I think the series will be close, I do think the Warriors may have an edge.  First of all, the Warriors are better warmed up because they are just coming off of a series with a much tougher opponent than what the Jazz faced in round 1.  Comparing the Mavs to the Rockets is like comparing The Lizzies to the Baseball Furies.  It's no contest.  The Mavs are a much more athletic team than the Rockets so the Warriors have shown they can hang with an athletic team.  The jury is still out on the Jazz.  Second of all, while some teams suffer a "hangover" effect after a tough emotional series I don't  think a veteran squad like Golden State will have a problem with that.  The fact that their series did not go seven games benefits them down the road.  Plus, it's not like the Jazz had a cake walk in their series.  They had to go to game 7 and their close out game was a lot closer than the Mavs close out game.  Lastly, the season series is tied at two wins apiece and while both teams enjoyed 24 point routs of the other during the regular season (Utah beat Golden State 106-82 in their first matchup while Golden State beat Utah 126-102 in their last matchup), Utah got their rout on November 4th and Golden State got their rout on April 9th which tells me that the Warriors beat down of the Jazz is probably fresher in both teams minds and the Warriors were on the upswing late in the season while the Jazz started strong this past season but played with increased mediocrity as the season went on.  The Jazz will have a hard time matching up with Baron Davis, Steven Jackson and Jason Richardson.  My prediction: Warriors in 6.

If the Warriors manage to get past the Jazz they will face the winner of the Spurs-Suns series.  The Spurs lead that series 1-0 and I think they to will win in six.  Assuming the Spurs advance, do the Warriors have a chance against a strong defense oriented team like the Spurs?  The Warriors will have their work cut out for them.  They were 1-3 against the Spurs this season and down the stretch, the Spurs were the only team to beat the Warriors in the last 10 games of the regular season.  The best hope that the Warriors have is that the Suns take more out of the Spurs than the Jazz take out of the Warriors, which is at least plausible.  If Baron Davis is 100% when this series rolls around the Warriors at least have a fighting chance, just as the Warriors in 1979 did against the Riffs.

I can't even begin to predict what will happen in the Eastern Conference although the Pistons have to be considered the odds on favorite.  If the Warriors get through the Jazz and Spurs I'm sure I'll revisit this blog.  But until then, I leave you with this...

"Good news boppers, the big alert has been called off. It turns out that the early reports were wrong, all wrong. Now for that group out there that had such a hard time getting home, sorry about that. I guess the only thing we can do is play you a song."

After a wacky week in sports in which discussion seemed to center around Pacman Jones, Mike Nifong and Don Imus, Sunday got this week off to a rousing start when referee Joey Crawford ejected Tim Duncan from the Spurs-Mavs game and then allegedly challenged Duncan to a fight.  No one knows for sure why Joey Crawford ejected Tim Duncan from Sundays game.  There are all sorts of theories floating around so I figure I'd throw my hat into the ring. 

 

Crawford ejected Duncan on April 15. Now why is April 15 a significant day you ask?  April 15 is usually the day that we law abiding Americans file our taxes. Joey Crawford has had trouble with this in the past.  In 1998, Crawford was one of 10 NBA referees charged with filing false income tax returns. An Internal Revenue Service investigation was the result of cash being pocketed by referees when airline tickets provided by the league were downgraded. At the conclusion of a four year investigation, Crawford pleaded guilty on July 1, 1998 for falsely stating income of $82,500 from 1991 to 1993 and resigned from the NBA effective immediately. He would be reinstated by NBA commissioner David Stern in 1999.

Now we all know that Duncan is a smart guy.  Do you think that maybe Duncan was reminding him to file his taxes on time this year?  Maybe Duncan was suggesting a good accountant (or a good lawyer in Crawford's case).  maybe Duncan was reminding Crawford that the tax filing deadline was extended this year, just a little FYI for his BFF.  Maybe Duncan was sitting on the bench chanting "TUR-BO-TAX...TUR-BO-TAX...TUR-BO-TAX......."

I guess the world will never know for sure but since it was April 15, you kind of have to wonder........ 

So I'm reading Verbal's Ton Ten Flashiest Athletes Today and I started thinking about athlete nicknames. It really seems like NBA players have cornered the market on the best nicknames in all of sports. If you break it down sport by sport, from both a contemporary and historical perspective NBA players have the most memorable nicknames. Look at the following sports and then I'll take a look at NBA players nicknames.

Hockey does not have memorable nicknames. Right off the top of my head I can only think of three nicknames that stand out:

• Wayne Gretzky ("The Great One") - Wow, that's not particularly creative. The Great Gretzky. Nice use of alliteration though.
• Mario Lemieux ("Super Mario") - Yep, he's nicknamed after a video game. Yawn.
• Sydney Crosby ("Syd the Kid") - Did the NHL have a second grader come up with that? I would have been more impressed if they rhymed something with "Crosby."

Overall grade for Hockey nicknames: F

Football has some decent nicknames historically but relative to the size and popularity of the league, it's fairly weak. Look at the entire list of Pro Football Hall of Famers. There really aren't too many memorable nicknames here. Even factoring some sure fire hall of famers, the list is not very solid. Other than Deion Sanders( "Neon Deion," "Prime Time"), and Walter Payton ("Sweetness"), there aren't very creative nicknames. Most names fall into one of three categories:

1. Nicknames that rhyme with the last name: "Mean" Joe Greene, #### "Night Train" Lane.
2. Nicknames that are simply the initials of the player: Lawrence Taylor ("LT"), Ladanian Tomlinson ( another "LT"), Terrell Owens ("TO")
3. Nicknames that are shortened versions of the players name: Edgerin James ("Edge"), John Riggins ("Riggo")

Even the flashiest player in the game today, Chad Johnson, has a fairly lame #### nickname. His numbers in Spanish and not even correct Spanish (should be "Ochenta y Cinco). LAME!!! Overall grade for Football nicknames: D

Baseball seems to avoid nicknames like Mike Nifong avoids the truth. Other than Roger "The Rocket" Clemens and "Babe" Ruth, not many nicknames to speak of. Look at the entire list of Baseball HOFers. There isn't a decent nickname to be found. Overall grade for Baseball nicknames: F

Basketball. Now we get to where the truly great nicknames reside. Now I'm not even going to touch the AND 1 nicknames (although "Skip to my Lou" might make the all time Top 10 nicknames list) and I will still come up with a solid list of the 10 best nicknames in the history of Professional Basketball (notice I don't say "NBA." Maybe a few ABA ballers will make the list). So without any further delay, here goes:

Honorable mention: Gilbert Arenas ("Hibachi" and "Agent Zero" - you can't have two nicknames and make the top 10), David Robinson ("The Admiral" - sure he was in the Navy so it's kind of a no brainer but boy does the nickname fit the man), Darnell Hillman ("Dr. Dunk" - this one is a shout out to Mean Dovine...I hope you like this one brother), Connie Hawkins ("The Hawk" - Sure it's a play on his last name but you must have the first ever ABA MVP on the list somewhere), Andrei Kirilenko ("AK 47" - it takes the play on initials to the next level), Lebron James ("King James" - someday you may crack the list young jedi. You do have to respect the biblical reference for the "savior" of the NBA), Nate Archibald ("Tiny" - he was the gold standard of point guards when I was growing up in New York City. He was the one that all the greats; Kenny Smith, Pearl Washington, Kenny Anderson, looked up to. As a matter of fact Kenny Anderson, the greatest high school player of all time, wore Tiny's #7 in high School at Archbishop Molloy and at Georgia Tech), Walt Frazier ("Clyde" - the coolest player for the coolest team in the coolest city during the coolest era), Hakeem Olajuwon ("Dream" - smoothest big man of all time. Played like a Center could only in his dreams), Charles Barkley ("The Round Mound of Rebound" - a bit lengthy for a nickname. Anything over four words equals not top 10 material. Still one of my all time favorites.)

Dubious Distinction: Vince Carter - "Half Man, Half Amazing" might not have made the top 10 but it was honorable mention material until Barkley and Smith started referring to him as "Half Man, Half a Season." you can't have somebody flip your nickname on you and still make the top 10 so Vince Carter holds the dubious distinction all by himself.

Now here we go folks.........

The Top 10:

10. Rafer "Skip to my Lou" Alston - First player to cross over from AND 1. Nickname is more memorable than the player.

9. Dominique "The Human Highlight Film" Wilkins - Original nickname, four words just comes in under the maximum word allowance for a nickname, describes his game (dunk, dunk hard, dunk frequently) quite well.

8. Vinnie "Microwave" Johnson - Coming off the bench for the Bad Boys he had to get "real hot, really fast," much better nickname than "Toaster oven." I know the Rev is going to like this inclusion (I did my research Rev!!!)

7. David "Skywalker" Thompson - "Skywalker" is a n accurate description of the way David Thompson played. Anyone who could touch the top of a backboard deserves the nickname Skywalker.

6. Shawn "The Matrix" Marion - Creative, timely, nice pop culture reference. Fits the player about as well as a nickname could.

5. "Pistol" Pete Maravich - Described his shooting style, his personality and his penchant for putting up fifty four shots a game. An all time great in talent and nickname.

4. Karl "The Mailman" Malone - 'cause he always delivered. Imagine if he had played in a major market his entire career.

3. Julius "Dr. J" Erving - If you asked my grandmother who Juliue Erving was she would have no idea. Ask for who Dr. J is and she will tell you right away. "The Doctor is in the house!"

2. Earvin "Magic" Johnson - There can be only one Magic and that's a fact. Describes what he could do with the ball on the court. The nickname completely overtook the real name.

1. George "The Iceman" Gervin - Boy could he finger roll! Iceman was such a great nickname. It captured his style, his demeanor, the way he carried himself on and off the court. Not to mention, back in the day he had the coolest poster around sitting on his ice throne (anyone else remember that?) It was on my wall growing up right next to Farrah Fawcett and Jim Morrison. Just the coolest sounding nickname as well.

We sit in eager anticipation of the impending madness of March, of tales of Cinderella, of the highest of highs and the lowest of lows, of Seth Davis spouting knowledge and Dickie V. just...well...spouting.  We brace ourselves to hear the terms "Mid-major," "bracket-buster," and "upset special" more than we care to.  And we, the true fans of sport prepare ourselves for the casual fans we know, at work and at school, to learn the names "Durant," and "Oden" just as they learned the names "Joakim" and "Big Baby" last year.  While we sit on the eve of this most glorious time of the year, one thought runs through my head.

March Madness could not have come soon enough this year.

It has been a really crazy week in the world of sports.  Whether on the court, field or track or off of it, the past week has really been a true dark, odd and unexpected week for sports.  Consider the following:

1) Pacman gets a knife pulled on him at a bowling alley.  In the ultimate "man bites dog" story, Pacman seems to be on the receiving end of the same type of stuff he has been dishing out since coming into the league.  Pacman is to humans what the house in the Amityville Horror is to homes.  Trouble just follows this guy wherever he goes.  I don't know how much longer it will be before this guy winds up as a tragedy.  His tenure with the Titans seems to be coming to a close.  I smell a Pacman to the Raiders deal coming.  At least he'll fit in there.  Of course the Titans could always send him to the bengals.  We KNOW he'd fit in there.

2) Ron Artest is allowed to return to the Kings after a brief vacation.  The only reason Artest doesn't get more press is because he exists in the same bizarro sports universe with guys like Pacman Jones.  This could be the end of the line for the Kings and their relationship with Artest.  Somehow, I believe Mike Bibby probably isn't all that upset.  Now you can debate whether or not it's right for Artest to play or whether or not the kings have a "moral obligation" to trade, sit, or waive this guy but regardless, he is a headache that the Maloof brothers will have to deal with.

3) Chris Simon nearly decapitates Ryan Hollweg.  I know it's hockey and I know these players get away with things that you and I would get arrested for if we did them anywhere in public.  I also know that there's only about 150 people in the U.S. that care about/watch hockey but after seeing the replay a billion times in the past week it still sickens me to watch.  No matter what Chris Simon does for the rest of his career, this is what he will be remembered for.

4) Pokey Chapman resigns.  Had this been a male coach accused of doing the same thing, this story would have had some real legs.  There are certain lines you just can't cross as a coach.  You can lie on a resume (George O'Leary), you can have a wild night with #### and strippers (Mike Riley), you can get tanked and party with another teams coeds (Larry Eustachy), and you can even try and cover up the murder of one of your players (Dave Bliss).  You can do all of these things and hope to work again but the line is drawn at sleeping with your players or betting on your team.  I'm not saying it's right or wrong, it  just is what it is.  Now there is a chance that Pokey will get another job someday but she will be on a really short leash if she does (of course, it could be the same "short leash" that got her in trouble in the first place).  I will say this.  I do believe there is a "homosexual double standard" in sports.  Had this been a male coach who slept with one of his male players he would have to leave the country and he would never work again.  Not saying it's right or wrong, just that the double standard exists.

5) Kobe Bryant throws another elbow at another white player.  I think Kobe hates white people.  It's just too much of a coincidence that the three "victims" of the Kobe elbow this season have been white players (Manu Ginobli, Marco Jaric, Kyle Korver).  Now I do recognize one of the dirty little secrets of the NBA is the dislike of white and primarily foreign players by the majority black NBA.  I guess Kobe just didn't get the memo that he needs to be a bit more clandestine in the way his dislike manifests itself in games.

6) Gary Matthews and others busted in steroids ring.  The new American success story.  Guy is a marginal player.  Guy juices.  Guy gets much better.  Guy signs big contract.  Except in this case I think the Angels are going to try and create precedence by voiding the contract and taking legal action.  Note to GM's; when a lifetime .260 hitter with no power suddenly puts up big numbers, don't hide your head in the sand!  This story has some legs to it and could take some interesting turns.

7) Charles Sharon (Jaguars WR) busted with a gun stolen from a cop.  Now in Sharon's defense, he was in the midst of being busted on a possession of narcotics charge at the time and cops smelled marijuana in the car.  Now I don't know what kind of defense "but I was stoned at the time" will be but hey, it's a start.  Note to Charles Sharon; you need to make a name for yourself before you start with the drugs and the guns, you know, like Chris Henry and Tank Johnson.  You need to be a bit more famous on the field before becoming infamous off of it.

8) Study released that Ohio State only graduates 10 percent of its Basketball players.  I'm kind of surprised the number was that high.  That's like a Harvard graduation rate compared to how many Bob Huggins players have graduated during his career.

9) NASCAR has a wild week.  Montoya slams Pruett last week.  Pruett slams Montoya after the race.  Harvick and Stewart slam the track at Vegas and a lot of cars slam each other during the Nextel race this past weekend.  NASCAR hasn't been this exciting since the drivers ran moonshine in their cars.

10) Roger Federer loses his consecutive matches win streak.  He's still the best of all time, whether he gets his French Open title or not.

Well, that's it folks.  Now it's time to go back to debating the field of 65, filling out our brackets and waiting for Cinderella to appear.  And one note on the NCAA Tournament.  Syracuse was robbed!

Watching the conference basketball tournaments this week, the first thing that jumped out at me  were the absolutely HIDEOUS new Nike uniforms.  They really reminded me of the old NC State (circa 1983) spandex uni's that are probably still causing Jim Valvano to roll over in his grave.  I hate these uniforms for a few reasons:

1) A tight shirt on a model is one thing.  A tight shirt like one of these on Glen "Big Baby" Davis would scare women and children and probably garner the first NC-17 rating for a college basketball game.

2) Just how freaking baggy do we really need shorts to be.  Now I don't think the "Stockton style" shorts should ever come back but these new Nike shorts make the Fab-Five look like the Celtics of the 50's!

3) I understand the aerodynamics needed for a track runner but since when is basketball played in a wind tunnel?  Are the elements so severe that the players need sleeves under their jerseys?  Isn't Joakim Noah funny looking enough on the court without wearing a spandex body suit?

I really hope this style dies out quickly just like so many other styles and fads in college and professional sports.  The following is my "Hall of Shame" of sports uniforms.  Now I'm not even going to get into color schemes and logos.  This is simply about styles, fabrics and other nasty deviations on conventional uniforms that (thankfully) came and went really quickly:

The White Sox Beer League Softball uniforms:  This has to be the first inductee into the Hall of Shame.  Although the White Sox played like a beer league softball team, they didn't really need to dress the part.

San Diego Padres Camo Uni's: okay, I said I was going to focus on materials, styles and trends, not colors or logos but this style was so freaking hideous that I needed to make an exception.

Jose Theodore wearing a toque on top of his helmet: Is it really that cold in an NHL arena or is he just trying to be funny.  Oh those crazy Canadiens!

Cooperalls!:  Back in the early 80's the Whalers and Flyers experimented with these full length hockey pants.  Thankfully they went the way of Jordache Jeans, Capezio shoes and parachute pants.  Come to think of it, they kind of resemble parachute pants!

Kentucky's Denim uniforms:  Kentucky tried the denim uni's and Georgetown tried Denim shorts for awhile.  Denim + Sports = A bad combination.                                                                                                                               

Texas A&M perverted crossing guard basketball uni's:  These were the Texas A&M basketball uniforms in the early 1900's.  With the hard shell knee pads, the white belts and the "X" design they really look like they are ready to serve as crossing guards or head out for a night on the town on the lower West Side of Manhattan.

Chad Johnson's Mural shoes: Ol' Ocho-Cinco really hit a new low with these family album print shoes.  Although CJ can't get away with these, maybe Pac Man Jones can do a pair like this with his mug shot photos.  Now THAT would be cool!

Satin Baseball Unis: Never adopted.  Thankfully.

NBA Basketball Tights: Combine these tights with the full length Ohio State jerseys from above and you can have players search arenas for asbestos after the game ends!

Asymetrical sleeves: Something else we need to thank Nike for.  Golly do I hate Nike right now.

Andre Agassi: Image really isn't everything.  The denim shorts, the wild headband, the short shorts with spandex underneath...what's not to love?

Well folks, this is my personal "Hall of Shame."  Who else do you think should be admitted to the club?

Please allow me to introduce myself
I’m a man of wealth and taste
I’ve been around for a few long years
Stole many a fans soul and faith
And I was round when Larry Brown
Had his moment of doubt and pain
Made damn sure that Isiah
Washed his hands and sealed his fate

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name
But what’s puzzling you
Is the nature of my game

I stuck around in midtown
When I saw it was a time for a change
Killed Van Gundy and his ministers
Season ticket holders screamed in vain
I owned the bank
Cablevision stock sank
When the draft picks raged
And the draft picks stank

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name, oh yeah
Ah, what’s puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah

I watched with glee
While Francis and Marbury
Choked for 82 games
For the contracts we gave
I shouted out,
Who killed the championship teams?
When after all
It wasn’t you, it was me

Let me please introduce myself
I’m a man of wealth and taste
And I drafted Balkman in 2006
another pick that was fueled in haste

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
But what’s puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah, get down, baby
 
Just as every league has a laughingstock
And an owner that screams in vain
As heads is tails
Just call me…Jim
cause I’m in need of some restraint

So if you meet me
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, and some taste
Use all your well-learned politesse
Or I’ll lay your team to waste, um yeah

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, um yeah
But what’s puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, um mean it, get down
Allan HOU-STON…Allan HOU-STON
Oh yeah, get on down