Tiffany, according to my well-placed sources at NGS headquarters, the Final 16 contestants are required to consume a minimum of 87.94 Big Macs (or the equivalent) by the end of the contest period, which is December 29.
(NOTE: Contest rules stipulate that you may not explode until AFTER the winner is chosen on February 8. See contest Terms and Conditions, Submissions; Judging, Section 33, paragraph seven, under Submitters: Unauthorized Explosions Of .)
If you're worried about being the NGFS (Next Great Fat Sportswriter), try the NGS Double Quarter Pounder Diet. It's working out quite well for me:
Buy someone else a Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese for lunch every day, keep the container, and write your blog postings on it. Even if you don't win the contest, you may be able to deduct the cost of the Quarter Pounders as a charitable donation on your tax return.
This might also help defray the medical expenses incurred if you decide to buy another Quarter Pounder for yourself every day, eat it for lunch, fail to win the contest, don't get the $5,000 prize, and end up exploding anyway.
---- The Colts are beatable, after all, and their defense is simply not as good as their early season dominance led us to believe. They have a terrific and balanced offense, but they are only average defensively, making a living off of turnovers, but not nearly as good at bread-and-butter defense: holding their ground and forcing their opponent to punt.
---- The Chargers, if they weren't already, should be considered armed and extremely dangerous if they make the playoffs. It would be a shame if they come up short for a wildcard berth. Any team that goes into the RCA Dome and beats the Colts deserves a shot to keep playing.
---- After throttling Tampa Bay to within an inch of it's playoff life, it is interesting to note how "defending Superbowl champion" has magically returned to its rightful place preceding "New England Patriots" in most of the post-game stories. The Patriots looked every bit the champion and are peaking just when you need to peak. Their make-shift secondary (four CB's and two Safeties on the IR) has stablized, and is getting a huge boost from the aggressive play of the the defensive front seven. Better pressure from the down lineman and effective blitzing from the linebackers has taken some pressure off the secondary. Richard Seymour looks healthy and is getting plenty of help stuffing the run. Linebacker Roosevelt Colvin is playing his best football as a Patriot, and Teddy Bruschi has returned to Teddy Bruschi form. With Corey Dillon and Kevin Faulk once again healthy and back together, the Patriots' offense regains balance.
Be afraid, playoff teams of the NFL. Be very afraid.
From the Stupid, More Stupid, and Stupidest Files....
Stupid - It may cost the four players charged in the Vikings "Love Boat" charter $1,000 and/or 90 days in jail? Hey, I've been on a party boat, and the only charges I remember were $50 for the rod & reel, $5 to get in the pool, and a couple of bucks for lost hooks and sinkers. Those Vikings sure must be lousy fisherman.
More Stupid - This category is temporarily out of service while we await T.O's first public statement since his apology to the Eagles on November 8.
Stupidest - It would seem that J. Whyatt Mondesire spoke for absolutely no one but himself in his racially-tinged tirade against the ability and character of Eagles quarterback, Donovan McNabb. Too bad the media had to attach "President of the Philadelphia Chapter of the NAACP" to his name. They would have been better served (and the NAACP as well) if they had simply attached "Private Citizen" to his name. He represented no one and nothing, except maybe the First Ammendment - and not very admirably at that.
They'll win if they lose. They'll lose if they win.
Nonsense, you say? Maybe so, but try untwisting the logic behind my cryptic forecast before you make up your mind.
If the Colts lose one of their last three games, the pressure of being perfect will be lifted and they'll be able to focus on one prize instead of two - the real prize - a Superbowl championship.
Going 16-0 will create an enormous and unprecedented amount of pressure on them heading into the playoffs. Obvious, yes, but beware.......this will not be your father's 1972 Dolphins media crush. What we're looking at here is a 21st-Century--24/7--high-speed--hi-def--on-demand- -broad-band--shock-and-awe--mega--giga--paparazzi- -blood-fest.
And a well-earned bye week will only compound the pressure. Even barricading themselves in the RCA dome for two weeks will not be enough to stem the tsunami-like tide of hype and pressure that will come with perfection.
Winning the Superbowl takes the ultimate survivor. The Colts would not survive perfection - no team could in this day and age.
