We never had this problem with Wilt and Jerry West. We also never had freestyle rap. Don't know what they would have done in 75', but I imagine it would have gone like this:

SHAQ
"Theme From Shaq"

Who's the big man rhymin' quick
That's a sex machine to all the chicks?
SHAQ!
Ya damn right!

Who is the man who would get a ring
For his brother Kobe?
SHAQ!
Can you dig it?

Who's the cat that won't cop out
When there's Celtics all about?
SHAQ!
Right On!

They say this cat Shaq is a bad mother
SHUT YOUR MOUTH!
I'm talkin' 'bout Shaq.
THEN WE CAN DIG IT!

He's a complicated man
Who Kobe ratted out to his woman
GOT THE SHAFT!

Got more rings than the scoring machine...
Got more rings than the scoring machine...
Shaq!
Shaq!

Four...


KOBE AND THE PIPS
"Midnight Train to Phoenix"

Kobe, proved too much for the man
So he left the wife he'd come to know
He said he's goin' back to find what's left of his game
The game he left behind oh so long ago

He's leavin' on that midnight train to Phoenix
Said he's goin' back to find a seat for his behind
I won't be with him on that midnight train to Phoenix
I'd rather he live in his world and live without him in mine

He kept dreamin' that without me he'd be a star
But he sure found out the hard way that dreams don't always come true
So he's pawned all his hopes and he even sold his thirty-two nicknames
Buyin' a playoff ticket back is the only way he'll have a finals view

Said he's leavin' on that midnight train to Phoneix
Said he's goin' back to find some words that rhyme with behind
I'm won't be with him on that midnight train to Phoenix
I'd rather he live in his world and live without him in mine

Oh he's leavin' on the midnight train to Phoenix
Said he's goin' try to find a way to score from the line
Next year he'll watch me, from a recliner somewhere in Phoenix
I'd rather he live in his world than live with him in mine

Get off the boards, get off the boards, get off the boards
On the midnight train to Phoenix
He got to go
He got to go
He got to go