You'll have to trust me on this. It was the greatest blog entry in the history of bloggery. What Brittany Spears is to bad parenting, this blog would have been to sports writing.
And now it's gone.
An account of the Cowboys Giants game that made Alfred, Lord Tennyson's "Charge of the Light Brigade" read like an excerpt from "Clifford the Big Red Dog". Vanished. Consumed by cruel fate and technical difficulties on the FOX Sports website.
It wasn't just that the greatest masterpiece since Da Vinci was laying around wondering what to do with that empty space in the basilica was gone. It was the callous, even flip way they broke it to me when I clicked on "post to blog".
"Whoops. We are experiencing technical difficulties. Please check back."
OK, who says "Whoops"? We don't say whoops in blogging. We might say "bleep" or "blankety blank." Or "worthless no good blanker". But not "whoops". There's no whoops in blogging.
FOX. Put the helmet back on and get in the game. There are people working here. Crafting out little slices of life that future generations will gaze at in awe and wonderment (as in "aw bleep, I wonder why did anyone put that blankety blank on the web.") Call Terry Bradshaw in on overtime if you have to. Tell Howie Long you'll explain to him later how they make the robot dance. There are bigger things at stake.
The glitch must be stopped. The gremlins must not triumph.
It's bad enough that my entry vanished. What if it had been Lisa from USC? No Straight Talk From the Left Coast? I shudder to think of it. What if it had been Half Baked? (Well, it was sort of half baked). Or Carolyn T? What if this had been a blog essay of pictures of Brazilian supermodels? What if you had somehow managed to take out the entire Gerbil Sports Network?
Good grief, what if the FOX Funhouse had crashed?
Meanwhile, I leave you with this. My blog entry tonight would have made you laugh, would have made you cry, become a part of you. Reviewers would have written, "If you read only one blog entry this year, let it be this one." There was a description of Owens catching that 50 yard touchdown that people would be talking about for generations.
Now they'll never know.
Excuse me while I wipe away the tears, push "post to blog", and hope in the name of all that is bloggy that this uploads.
