New Orleans Saints Reggie Bush: "Yeah, yeah, tell coach I'll be right there." (on cell) "Man, why can't we park the Hummer in front of the Subway in the ad? It's called cross promotion. You guys are supposed to be pros. Focus, man, focus."
Tampa Bay Bucaneers Coach Jon Gruden: "Boys, it's like I've always said, chicks dig a man with a visor."
New England Patriots Coach Bill Belichick: "You've got to hold it steady or the image will blur."
New England Patriots Cheerleader (beginning to cry): "But I have to shake them, they're pom poms."
Seattle QB Matt Hasselbeck: "Come on guys, yeah we're down 10. To ARIZONA. Just don't turn over the ball and we'll be fine."
Dallas WR Terrell Owens "Just get me the ball. I've got this bit where I wind a handle on a camera in the end zone. It's going to be great."
Dallas QB Tony Romo: "But won't they call a penalty on that?"
Dallas WR Terrell Owens "You're not listening. I'm in the end zone. I'm cranking a camera. What is it you don't understand. Three years watching and holding that clip board and you still don't know what this game is about, do you?"
Giants Coach Tom Coughlin: "Ah, but the strawberries! That's, that's where I had them. Barber laughed
at me and made jokes, but I proved beyond the shadow of a doubt, and with,
with geometric logic, that, that a duplicate key to the locker room icebox
did exist."
Atlanta Falcons QB Joey Harrington: "Oh yeah, well maybe you should have thought about that before your pal ended up headed for prison. And just for the record, I get timed with a stop watch like everyone else. I have never, never been timed with a sun dial."
Indianapolis QB Payton Manning: "Marvin, does it ever seem to you that the sun is shining on us and the crowds aren't even there. And it's so quiet that all you hear is the wind moving over the laces of the football as it perfectly spirals into your hands. It's like it's all in slow motion and no matter what they do you just look over at Coach Dungy and have this feeling of contentment like nothing bad is ever going to happen."
New York Giants QB Eli Manning: "And I kept telling him, I don't even eat strawberries. And he's got this glazed look in his eyes. Then he leaves and I finally get to sleep and have this dream where Brett Favre is pointing at me and laughing. And my dad is telling Favre that he has a son who plays QB named Payton. But he doesn't mention me. What do you think that means?"
Oakland Coach Monte Kiffin: "It's just lightining. There is not a thing to worry about. Now everybody hit the field. (team files out) JaMarcus. Over here. Look, you'd better stay in here until after the game."
Steelers RB Willie Parker: "So I tell him. Look, I'll be running for 120 yards a game in the pros long after they've forgotten the name John Bunting."
Bengals Coach Marvin Lewis: "Now let's get out there and play some defense."
OK, I wasn't around on the original "black Friday". Stock brokers in the NYC jumping out windows, scribbed suicide notes on the back of worthless bonds, abject dispair. But New York has put on a similar display this weekend involving the New York Giants. Fans jumping ship, talk radio guys saying the end is at hand, players criticizing Coach Tom Coughlin.
Now I grant you that the 24-21 fall the New York Football Giants, as they were once called, took against the Tennessee Titans was fast enough to cause nosebleeds and compressed vertebrae. Losing a three touchdown lead in the fourth quarter may have side affects that include listlessness, loss of interest in normal activities (like playing football), and depression. But, here is the worst part. All these symptoms were present before the Giants touched down in 10-O-C.
To a southerner, at a distance, New Yorkers can seem an exciteable lot. Consider this article that appeared in Saturday's New York Times "An Erratic Manning Puts Giants on Blue Alert":
Is the third year pro a has been already? Is this as good as it gets for Manning? Is a change at QB needed (oh yes, please bring on Jared Lorenzen, that will fix everything)? How big an impact crater will there be after the crash? New York wants to know.
Manning went into the game with 16 touchdown passes and 13 interceptions. His completion percentage is up from 48% his rookie year to 58% this season, despite significant injuries to his receivers and to standout tackle Luke Petitgout. Just to repeat this for emphasis, Manning is just over half way through his third season. Tony Romo of the Cowboys has clipboards older than that.
Then there is Tiki Barber. When your name sounds like a rum drink the odds are you are neither philosopher or strategist. But there was Barber sounding off to the New York media about play calling after a 12 run/42 pass misfire against Jacksonville. Barber and tight end Jeremy Shockey have both taken time from their busy schedules this season to advise Coughlin through the media on the proper way to run an offense. All that was missing was Fred McMurray whisphering into Barber's ear that it wasn't really mutiny at all and that Captain Queeg Coughlin was going to sink the Giants ship.
Underpining it all is a fatalistic sense in Giants land that a lengthening shadow is forming in Texas and will soon darken the skys in Gotham. Darth Parcells has donned his helmet and the empire will soon be enslaved by the star boys. Tony Romo is Staubach with a quicker relase. The end is at hand. Doom, doom, doom!
In the middle of this madness you step back, unless you are the New
York media or apparently the Giants players themselves, and look at the
standings. If the Giants beat Dallas on Sunday (and they have once
already this season) they will be in a 7-5 tie with the Cowboys with
the tiebreaker advantage and 4 games to go. Three straight losses are not a positive sign, but the season is not over by a long shot. That is, unless the panic is so complete it causes a complete collapse.
This is where we find out alot about Coughlin, the coach, and Manning the quarterback. Coughlin has brooked minor mutiny throughout the season without resorting to the iron fist he was well known for earlier in his career. Now is not the time for kinder, gentler Coughlin. As for Manning, he will become a leader only by becoming a leader. It is time for him to make the Giants his team and to make sure Barber and Shockey are aware of his presence. No more Mr. Nice Manning.
As for the rest of us, the media included, it's time to sit back and watch. Don't predict the fall of Rome until at least the first fires by the Coliseum. Ceasar is not dead yet, but young Barber and Shockey have a lean and hungry look. This challenge had best be met soon, or the empire will have fallen before Manning the boy king can be crowned.
