So here I am in the second round of the NGS II.  You notice I used Roman numerals.  When something in sports is really important you always want to lay some XVL on.  Lends gravitas.  Picture Ty Hildenbrandt sitting up in the box overlooking the arena waiting for Peter Schrager and the guys from 'Dime' to give him a nod so he can flash the crowd the thumbs up-thumbs down sign.   Come to think of it, has anyone seen the four eliminated contestants?  The lions didn't look hungry today.

At times like this I ask myself, "What would Ricky Williams do?"  I’ll admit that blowing town in the middle of the contest and heading for Canada does have a certain appeal.  Still, there are problems.  Could I really get a quarter million from the Toronto Star?  I don’t use drugs, so how would the whole marijuana thing work?  Do you take weed across the border or buy the local stuff?  Besides, I’m a competitor.  Sure, I’m a wild card blog, three analogies down with two paragraphs to go, but you strap on your keyboard and play them one blog at a time.

The European soccer plan.  I could try to develop a following among football (notice how I work the lingo in) hooligans.  Pretty soon voters begin thinking, how will this lot react when Dudski is voted out?  Will automobiles be turned over, fires started, store front windows broken?  Will my family be safe?  On the other hand, since this is also how they would react if I won maybe it isn’t such a good idea.

A talking gecko.  Hear me out, I know it’s been done.  But picture the cute little guy on TV describing my blog.  “You ask a bloke, you want humor and maybe some statistics?  Dudski’s blog, it’s like pie and chips.  You like pie.  Good.  Chips.  Good.  What’s not to like?”

The guys who do political ads are in their off season.  Maybe they would work cheap.  We get footage of the Naval Air Station hospital in Texas where I was born.  The American flag gently waves in the breeze as a flight of F-18's roars overhead.  Nearby a boy scout in uniform holds his mother’s hand as “Proud to Be an American” plays in background.

The voiceover.  “Dudski’s roots run Texas deep and American tough.  Have the other bloggers said where THEY are from.  How do we know that SUV hating, tree hugging extremists aren’t in this contest hoping to win and then use FOX blog space to demand that you drive a Prius and give up YOUR semi-automatic assault weapons?  Dudski believes in the right to arm bears and the right to bear arms.  He has no principles and deserves your vote.”

Celebrity endorsements.  I’ve been checking this out.  #### Van Patten works cheap, but nobody listens.  You can get Charlie Sheen at a discount, but the women’s vote is history.  Al Gore will do it, but only as part of a two hour infomercial that will leave voters too depressed to care who wins.  Anna Kournikova?

Maybe I’ll just keep writing.  Stumble through the assignments and then post the blogs I would normally write anyway.  It’s just crazy enough that it might work.  Then again, I wonder if that gecko would work for scale? 

This year's playoff teams are alot like the big Kentucky Derby fields at Churchill Downs.  There are a few picks that will get alot of attention, some solid entrees worth looking at, a couple of longshots, and alot of horses with no business in the race.  After careful review of the NFL team stats, here's how I handicap the field of 14 (allowing for all teams still in contention for a playoff spot):

CLASS OF THE FIELD

Denver Broncos  Conventional wisdom says the Colts, but in an environment that magnifies mistakes the Broncos don't make them.  Key stat lines- +18 giveaway/takeaway margin, only 28 sacks and interceptions combined (tied with Indianapolis), and 17 pass plays of 40 or more yards. 

Seatlle Seahawks  Other than a lack of playoff experience it's hard to find a flaw in the Seahawks.  Key stat line-28 rushing touchdowns.  Cause for concern-only 17 field goals and a 70.8% average.

Indianapolis Colts   Not a horse to bet on, despite being the early favorite.  Hasn't been stretched out by competition.  Key stat line-surprisingly only 13 plays from scrimmage longer than 20 yards.  Gives up 300 yards per game on defense and a 66.8% pass completion percentage. 

SOLID STARTERS 

Pittsburgh Steelers Why not?  Solid defense and field goal kicking can go far in the playoffs.  I worry that they are too predictable on offense.  Key stat lines-Runs the ball 58.8% of the time.  Eighty-four yards per game rushing defense.

Cincinnati Bengals  A ball hawking defense and potentially explosive offense.  Gives up more yards and pass completions than I'd like to see, but the offensive line gives Palmer all kinds of time.  Key stat line-31 interceptions.  Reason to worry-61.4% pass completion percentage given up on defense.  Can they get a Payton Manning off the field?

Carolina Panthers  A one good receiver team in a league that demands two.  I hesitate to place them this high, but their defense is this good and Jake Delhomme makes alot from a little.  Key stat lines-Only 677 yards in penalties on offense, 23 passing TD's, and 12 receptions for 40 yards or more.  Why worry?  Only 3.2 yards a rush.

Overrated

New England Patriots  Johnny Damon left town and so has the Pats mystique.  Lots of weaknesses showing up all at once.  Key stat-  Minus 5 giveaway/takeaway.  No team wins the Super Bowl with a negative in this category.  More bad news-231.5 yards per game passing by their opponents.  The Pats pass 57% of the time, which is a bad stat in the playoffs where most teams got there by putting strong pressure on the QB.

New York Giants  Eli Manning will be a fine playoff quarterback, but not yet.  Key stat-327.7 yards per game given up by the defense.  The Giants won't get Manning on the field and with 17 interceptions a 4 interception day against a tough defense isn't out of the question.

Save Some Money For

Jacksonville Jaquars  My insane long shot.  Rock solid defense gets opponents off the field.  Key stat line-65.6 average kickoff distance.  It's an arcane stat, but when the playoffs come around field position is king.  At no extra charge-Did you know the Jags only give up 31.9% of 3rd down conversions?

Dallas Cowboys Win one for the Tuna has a nice ring to it.  A team with line play this bad shouldn't last past the first round (if they make the playoffs).  But remember this key stat-The Cowboys ran 126 more plays from scrimmage than their opponents.  A team with an uncanny knack for snatching victory from the jaws of defeat.

Sucker Bets

Kansas City Chiefs  An offense that is hitting on all cylinders and a defense that couldn't drive a moped.    The only stat you need to know-339.2 yards per game yielded on defense.

Washington Redskins  With much respect due to Joe Gibbs, this isn't the Redskins year.  Key stat lines-  Gave up over 20 yards on 18 plays from scrimmage.  Minus 4 giveaway/takeaway.  Brunell will not give games away, but he also isn't who you want to see on the field down by more than a touchdown in the 3rd quarter.

Tampa Bay Bucaneers  What do they do well?   Not much.  What do they do badly?  Not much.  Key stat line-Only 275.9 yards per game by opponents.

Chicago Bears  An old fashioned Bears defense, and unfortunately an offense that recalls the glory days of Jack Concannon.  Key stats-Opponents have run 38 more plays from scrimmage, 127 yards passing, 28 giveaways.

Summary-Look for the Broncos to take the Seahawks in the Super Bowl.  Forget about the Colts, look out for the Jags, and keep an eye on the Steelers and Bengals.  The rest are pretenders.