To create a mock draft is to never say "I'm sorry"

The ritual goes like this. Six weeks of combine times, Wonderlic scores, then the draft, and then two weeks of the same "experts" grading the draft and giving low scores to the teams who made them look as wrong as Paris Hilton on a pig farm.

Not that everyone misses. This year's draft was more predictable than most. There were only six real impact players available, maybe not that many. A decent pool of a dozen mid first round types. And then? The stuff that dreams and delusions are made of.

So here's a quick rundown of what went according to plan and what cries out to be mocked in the first ten picks:

Jake Long (1) OT-Miami Everyone got that one. The signed contract gave it away.

Chris Long (2) DE-St. Louis. The experts and the Rams were in agreement. FOX's "The Big List" had Dorsey of LSU in this spot, and that is exactly the pick the Rams should have made. But the Rams bought into all the "Howie's Kid" hype and got a consistently good player from a pick that demands at least the possibility of greatness.

Matt Ryan (3) QB-Atlanta. Most mockers had Glenn Dorsey here. The Falcons went with Ryan. The pick was more about letting players and fans know they've moved on from Michael Vick, than about Ryan. When you see how far Brohm and Henne fell you want to use hindsight to advise the Falcons to take Dorsey and then trade back in later on to get one of those two. Unfortunately Atlanta neglected to bring a psychic to the draft room Saturday.

Darren McFadden (4) RB-Oakland. Did anyone in America not get this one right. McFadden carries more than just the football. He's got enough baggage to be the perfect Oakland Raider, on the field and off. Something called "The Sports Exchange" had Sedric Ellis here. The pick was wrong, but the lovely fruit basket they received from Ellis' agent made up for it.

Glenn Dorsey (5) DT-Kansas City. Nobody called this. Nobody, especially Dorsey, thought he'd still be available. I loved the live footage of Dorsey when he was selected by the Chiefs. He said the right things afterward, but his face gave it all away. He had that "Oh boy, I've always wanted to see the stockyards" look.

Vernon Gholston (6) DE-NY Jets. Most everyone had him a pick up or down from here. NFL.com had Leodis McKelvin. The same guys who start the closer panic runs in roto drafts always over rate cornerbacks.

Sedric Ellis (7) DT-New Orleans. Most had Ellis picked around 7 or 8, so no big surprise. FOX, writing from a laptop just outside the Saints draft room, even called the trade with New England that let them make the pick.

Derrick Harvey (8) DE-Jacksonville. Nobody had Harvey this high. On the broadcast the analysts showed Harvey in action and commented on his lack of size and strength. Those guys are good. Harvey seemed to actually grow smaller right there on my TV.

Keith Rivers (9) LB-Cincinnati. Everybody knew he was going to New England at #7. Everybody was wrong. The Bengals have the courage of their convictions going for them, and this time managed to draft a player without any.

Jerod Mayo (10) LB-New England. I suspect the Patriots are beginning to buy into the legend of their draft brilliance, taking a player rated as low as #32 by one expert. Mayo fits the Patrick WIllis (SF) pattern of a mobile linebacker who moved up on everyone's list just before the draft. Whether he plays up to Willis' level is the open question. As one of the many Belichick loathers I'm hoping he doesn't.

From here on down we mock the mockers...

Ryan Clady (12) OT Denver. Prisco and Judge over at CBS Sportsline-This one's for you. #5? You had a guy who played his career on blue Astro Turf at #5? Your "insider" status is now revoked. Rosencrantz and Gildenstern are dead.

Brandon Albert (15) G Kansas City. Show of hands from everyone who "knew" Alberts was going to Baltimore at #8. NFL.com, FOX. Raise them just a little higher, that's good. The live video of Albert was priceless. This is a seriously unhappy human being. Albert and Dorsey will have much to talk about in KC.

Dominque Rodgers-Cromatrie (16) CB Arizona. The draft nicks nailed this one. Except for Mr. Stuebel at FOX who had his at #11 to the Bills. He neglected to figure that a small market team like Buffalo could not afford to sew that many letters on a Jersey.

Joe Flaco (18) QB Baltimore. Did anyone even have Flaco in the first round? Did the Arena Football League guys have Flaco in the first round? OK, where were the experts on this one? The truth is, this may be one of the best picks of the draft. Batlimore once had another young QB not on anyone's list named Unitas. OK, Flaco's not Unitas, but at 6'6" he could do a passable Roman Gabriel imitation.

The "We're Just Not Into You That Way" award goes to DeSean Jackson, Limas Sweed, and Devin Thomas. Every mock draft I read had these three going in the first round. Thomas was even rated as high as (cough) #15. Maybe if Jackson had taken off those sun glasses while he was waiting with his family and friends he would have seen that he's too small to be much more than a slot receiver in the NFL. The NFL did.

Mr. Baker (OT-Atlanta), Mr. Johnson (RB-Tenn), Mr. Brown (OT-Houston), Mr. Jackson (DE-Seattle), I'm sorry we don't seem to have any reservations for you. You weren't on any of the lists the experts left for us. There has obviously been some sort of misunderstanding.

There you have it. A round that will in history or infamy or mockery.

My money is on mockery.