I think I have this "Blog of the Day" thing figured out.
Got home today and there it was. The Dudski avatar right there at the top of the page. A moment of sheer excitement rivaled only by receiving notice in the mail from the Publisher's Clearing House that I might be a winner. (I've left the porch light on in case Ed McMahon has trouble finding my house when they bring me the BIG check).
Now, this is the point where I'm supposed to say that I don't care about Blog of the Day. How I write for the pleasure of writing, for the wonderful friends I've met, for the hope that someone who is down on their luck will read my blog and step back from life's abyss and find a reason to carry on.
Not bloody likely.
Of course I want to win Blog of the Day. Picture a grown man punching his fist in the air and shouting "Blog of the Day....Blog of the Day", spiking his mouse into the keyboard, and doing the Lambeau leap into the recliner. OK, I'm not that man, but at the same time there is a reason there will never be a web cam attached to this blog.
If, like me, you could build a bonfire of your vanities (wait, I think someone used that already) and actually want to win Blog of the Day, here are a few suggestions:
Save your good stuff for a day when LisaH isn't posting. I can give you about 72,000 reasons why, based on the click counter on her blog. My site meter is up above around 60,000 but you have to keep in mind that about 59,000 clicks came when I accidentally learned the biggest BOTD secret.
Sex sells.
Posted a bunch of pictures of NBA cheerleaders with funny captions underneath. That got about 59,000 of my 60,000 clicks over a two day period. Why? Well, it sure wasn't the captions. Most of the comments I got were of the Homer Simpson variety. "Hmmm....cheerleaders". There was this one photo of a Boston Celtics cheerleader...well, here see for yourself http://community.foxsports.com/blogs/Dudski/2007/1 1/12/Shameless_NBA_Cheeleader_Photo_Blog_Entry
Truth is, she should have gotten blog of the day.
Where was I? Oh, yeah, how to get "blog of the day".
You need to pick a day hardly anybody is posting. This appears to be Saturday or Sunday (which explains my BOTD honor today). Many people spend time with their wives, (well somebody's wives), on the weekends. They shop, visit, have hobbies, attend games, and go to church. What they don't do is blog. That's why your best chance of getting Blog of the Day is on the weekend.
Most posting and blog reading occurs on week days. Ironically, on week days during business hours. When people are supposed to be working. Go figure. I've never actually seen the people who work for me posting a blog, but I am su####ious that some of the entries on the "My Boss Is A Useless Waste Of A Paycheck" website sound a great deal like things I've said at work.
Which brings us to timing. I post around 8 PM after I've gotten off work and burned what might have turned out to be an edible meal. No good. Since I got the site meter, I've discovered that most people are reading my blog between 11 a.m. and 2 p.m. That's especially true if you end up in the Funhouse.
The FOX Funhouse takes our blogs and moves them to part of the main FOX website with the real writers (and most of the real live readers). It is posted mid day when your prime audience (people googling cheerleaders-well, not literally googling them, but, well, anyway) is available, and is a great way to get your blog noticed. If you think they might be missing your best efforts you can even e-mail them at foxfunhouse@hotmail.com.
The Fun House gets alot of readers. Take this young lady for example. She was featured on a recent Fun House. Remember Rule #1.
Where was I again?
Oh. Timing. As I was pointing out, when I post late in the evening I don't see the old site meter clicker moving very rapidly. However, the over seas audience does increase. Which is why one of my next blogs is going to be called, "I Don't Know Why You Say Dubai, I Say Hello".
Which brings me to pandering to your audience. You should. If they hate Barry Bonds you should hate Barry Bonds. If they want the Nebraska coach fired, YOU want the Nebraska coach fired. If they want to take up arms against the government. Well, at least write another Bonds blog.
Finally, you must have a catchy headline for your blog. Look at the headlines on the papers you see at the check out counter when you buy groceries. Learn from them how to reach out and grab your audience. A few suggestions:
Steroid Allegations Cause Bonds Anorexia Relapse.
Brian Urlacher Cries On Sidelines After Learning Of Pet Adoption Snafu
Terrell Owens Abducted by Space Aliens-Then Quickly Returned
Secret Brady/Romo Pact-You Take Hollywood, I'll Take Nashville.
The Shocking Reason Brian Griese Was Voted Off "Who Wants to be the Bears QB"
With just these few tips you too can know the thrill of being "Blog of the Day". Start writing now. Today could be your day.
Dud: Even the extra-terrestrials don't want TO??? What a sad and shocking commentary (not).....
I think that you may, indeed, have stumbled onto the exact algorithm that we have all been searching for over the past two years (well, all of us who have been around that long, that is). I'm too busy working to write today, but I will probably be off this coming weekend, what with my natal day and all, so I will give it a try. Cheers!
We don't know how Fox Admin picks BOTD, yet I do know that one of the recent frauds with a lightly clothed Avatar(female form), may be a major internet spammer. That blog showed a link to a soft porn web site. GASP! Skin on the WWW. We're all shocked.
Hey there Dudski, there is actually one more and I'm trying that tonight - Pick a popular, Blog of the Day-worthy writer and ride his coattails to the top....hence you're featured prominently in my latest post.
It's not semi-clothed women or anything, but I'm willing to give it a shot....
Dudski - You just might have upset the natural order of things here at FOX. It is a very good thing that you posted this on Sunday night when nobody will read it.
I was thrilled when I got a small box in the BOTD category except that I was using a photo of myself as the avatar. God forgive that my anonymity be compromised. I changed it immediately.
the new saying in OREGON INSTEAD OF THE CURRENT ONE (KEEP OREGON GREEN) AFTER THE civil war game saturday (KEEP OREGON CELEBRATING HALLOWEEN) ORANGE AND BLACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BEAVERS WIN
Blog of the Day sure is a great feeling, isn't it? I remember the one time I made it. My late cat's face on the front page of the blogs was a sight to behold. The Flying Jenny doesn't look too bad there either.
Not surprisingly, it was for something I posted on a Sunday. I didn't have any scantily-clad women though. I just wrote that I was rooting for the Indians in Game 7 of the ALCS (and mentioned that I wasn't too fond of the Red Sox) and it got featured on the main page of the FoxSports website. With Boston fans being the trash-talkers they are, I was flooded with comments. If you want a lot of comments it never hurts to say something bad about one of Boston's teams.
I am not eligible for BOTD* but if I were none of you would ever see your blog there again. I've started a policy of one nearly nude nymphet per blog to keep pace in what I call the Space Race of popularity here at Fox. Or to put that in Dudski-ese "The Jiggly Bits Olympics"
Dudski,
This is classic. Now the site will explode with blogs entitled "Bonds Admits Injecting Powdered Jimmy Hoffa to Break Home Run Record" emblazoned with hot chicks...job well done.
*Actually I am that was just a great sour grapes topic sentence.
Last edited by edhardiman on November 25th at 11:36 PM.
Hi Guys, I've missed you all... Dudski, I even read an article if there is a cute chick, just to see what you have to say.
Ed- you always crack me up.. Jiggly Bits ah funny.
Dudski
It's all about what Fox and their people deem supposedly acceptable as they say. But I'd like to think that most of us are just contributing to the site for the fun of it more than anything else.
Is it me or has no one within the Broncos' organization not figured out that you don't punt the ball anywhere near Devin Hester during a game. And as for Todd Sauerbraun he shouldn't be on the field trying to tackle anyone under any circumstance. He looks effeminate when trying to do so.
kjk,
But you're the Gators cheerleader of my dreams! Good to see you, stop by my other blog or this one which I write under the name Dudski...OK that's a lie too, I'm not Dudski, yes I am...no I'm not!...am so...am not...(no one said this schizo thing would be easy...)...am so! are not, touch blue...no touchsies!...am not...am so...Doh!
Well done. You forgot one tip: Just use the words "Brea sts" or "Hot, Hot Women" in your title...bam - 300 hits a day. Or in your case, 17,000 - in an hour. Even if you're arguing that men shouldn't be asking women to flash their brea sts...it'll get 300 hits.
= )
Ian-Sorry to hear about the cat. Great picture though. And, in all seriousness, it is fun to see your avatar next to BOTD. But there really isn't much way to predict when it will happen. It just happens (or mostly doesn't).
Chandler Bing-There are still lots of good writers. Part of the problem is that depending on when you post your stuff may be up a long time or may be gone in minutes. So some of the good stuff doesn't stick around long enough to get noticed. In my case, rust never sleeps.
KJK77-You really have to start posting again. How will we know the next time someone invents soap with Expresso in it if you're not keeping us informed? Seriously, you should blog more often, especially with the Gators in full Tebow mode.
Tophatal-Go easy on the punters. I always thought that was the best position to play. Little danger of injury and you miss the pressure that the place kicker has to put up with.
Klvalus-The part I was serious about is the timing thing. I've posted often enough to know that what I said is pretty close to true. The ideal time to post is during the day, probably around 10 a.m. Better chance of the post not rotating out of the top 5 and more readers.
Lisa-Thanks for the kind comments. And most of all, thanks for not posting this weekend! (Just kidding). Pretty impressive numbers on the click counter. You've got Half Baked coming on strong behind you though.
Carolyn-That's the breast, ah, best advice I've gotten. The Dubai thing just sort of sings to me. Thinking of a whole middle east thing in the near future.
Carolyn-The Dubai thing just sings to me. Now, if I can only get Paul McCartney to record that one. Or, "Day Blogger", or "I Get By With A Few Clicks From My Friends", or "Eight Blogs A Week".
dudski - funny piece... but looking at today's BOTD, it's apparent that they really just choose it at random... i mean the featured blog is on "hockey" and has like 6 comments... wtf?
You forget my crack reporting on the PPFL, (professional pillow fighting league)
I have been busy and I have had a creative blockage.
TEBOW wow, 3/4 of our offense. Now has the broken hand, but should be ripe and ready for a bowl game. Next year the GATORS will chomp their way to the top.
Getting blog of the day would be a great honor, but tell us what is really important: How do I get to be on your list of favorite blogs? That would be the real honor . . .
Great writing--look for my next post (This Sunday of course) with the catchy title: "Michigan picks Pop Warner coach after Nebraska passes on him"
Last edited by Gaucho93 on November 27th at 9:01 AM.
Dudski
NFL rules 101. You do not under any circumstance punt or kick the ball within 30 yds of Devin Hester. How many times have we seen this guy just put the pedal to the floor and make the opposing team pay by scoring a touchdown ? I can't reiterate it anymore than that.
See my latest post titled Ocho Cinco Gets Thrown The Ball And What Does He Do ? I'll look forward to reading your comments.
