Nothing else is working. Teams playing the receivers tight, teams playing the receivers loose, teams wandering aimlessly around the field doing the chicken dance. It's all been tried and none of it is working.
It is time to face reality.
The Patriots could finish 16-0, run the tables in the playoffs, take control of the government and come for our women. Not that they would like us saying they are "our" women, but you know what I mean. Do you really want to live in a society where Tom Brady shows up at your door and says "I'll take the tall blond one over there". I know your wives and girlfriends might not object to that, but where does that leave us?
There is precedent. In 2006 Coach Bill Bilichick was sued by the husband of a New Jersey woman for taking his wife's affections. He is now reported to be dating a woman with three children whose marriage evaporated into thin air at his approach. Plus, and this is only conjecture on my part, the guy looks like a vampire.
Some might say I'm over reacting to the threat. I say they are wrong. In the 90's we learned from movies that "greed is good". This is 2007. Panic is the new greed.
So what do we do?
Back in the sixties the counterculture used to have bumper stickers that said "imagine world peace". Didn't happen, but at least they were trying something. And it doesn't mean it couldn't work in this case. Imagine...
Imagine the Patriots completely coming unglued after a humbling loss to the Colts and finishing 8-8.
Picture all the defensive coordinators in the NFL watching the game, hitting their foreheads with their palm and exclaiming "It's so simple, now we can shut them down."
Visualize Tom Brady being dumped by Gisele Bundchen. During a game using the sideline phone.
Imagine Brady curling into the fetal position and refusing to go into the game, replaced by Matt Cassell.
Form an image in your mind of a crazed ex husband charging across the field and beating Bilichick senseless with a giant foam finger, before feeding what was left to a group of the commander in cheat's ex-girlfriend's and their lawyers.
Together let's chant, hold hands, and picture a world where Randy Moss is 10 yards behind the nearest corner back and drops the ball. Over and over and over again.
In your mind's eye can't you see Mike Vrabel coming in with the short yardage team, tripping over Brady's foot in the exchange and pulling every muscle and ligament in his body simultaneously.
We can get together on this people. We can stop the Patriots. It's like John Lennon told us....
Imagine the Patriots losing
It's easy if you try
No teams below them
Above us the Jets fly high
Imagine all the Patriot haters
Living for Sunday...
Imagine there's no Belichick It isn't hard to do
Nothing to film or lie for
And no Tom Brady too
Imagine the Bills in the playoffs New England giving up 9 TD's...
You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the Patriots will be done
Imagine no Randy Moss
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or plunder
Or spy equipment in vans Imagine all the Miami Dolphins Healthy at one time...
You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the Colts win 53 to none.
Thanks Tommy. Alot of obscure references. You may be right. I'm sure I'll here from Patriot fans on this one and the "hater" thing will get thrown around. I don't hate New England, in fact if they weren't so good people wouldn't react to them this way. At the same time, if they DID go 8-8 there would be some dancing in the streets. I don't think the Patriots will go 16-0, although with their division being so weak it is possible.
Hi Dudski, it's obvious you saw into my nightmare last night. As someone who grew up watching the Patsies lose to the Dolphins 52-0 every time they played and watching O.J. shred the defense for 240 yeards every time the teams met, which of course was twice a year, I've watched the last six seasons with #### amazement.
I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop, and it's not like there isn't precedent either. Back in the innocent days when the NFL played a 14 game season, the Pats hit the halfway mark at 6-1 one season, using smoke and mirrors or something. Joy reigned in New England, and then they had to go and play the second half of the season. Predictably the Pats went 1-6 to finish the statistically perfect, mediocrity-wise, at 7-7.
So take heart, all you out there in Patriot-dislike land (hate is such a strong word). Anything is possible....
Last edited by HalfBaked on November 3rd at 7:27 AM.
There's no need to imagine. Why waste your energy, which should be devoted to world peace, on the Patriots?
All it takes is a team with a strong, confident offense and a quick & punishing defense to cause the confident pseudo-Bostonians to let doubt creep into their minds. Or, lacking that, let Bob Sanders come creeping into their craniums and rib cages.
It all changes tomorrow evening.
Last edited by Dave_in_Indy on November 3rd at 7:36 AM.
SAVE THIS COMMENT I WENT ON RECORD AND PUT MY MONEY WERE MY MOUTH IS IN VEGAS ON DA RADIO THE LOSER OF THIS GAME(COLTS, Pats) WILL WIN THE SUPER BOWL... THINK ABOUT IT ... GREAT EFFORT WITH YOUR BLOG .. KEEP IT UP ....
1SouthernOnion-This is heretical to say, but I never much cared for "Imagine". Too, too, droopy sounding. Even more heretical, I don't think Lennon ever made a decent record without Ringo.
Tigervidmar-That's an interesting idea and it has the ring of truth to it. If they meet again in the AFC title game, the team that shows less of it's offensive and defensive packages (which might well be the losing team) has theadvantage. Very interesting.
Dear Coach Dungy, I have having trouble with my son. He is getting into drugs, and he isn't the same boy I raised. Can you help. - Feeling lost
Dear Feeling Lost, don't bother me I am coaching a super bowl contender! Wait maybe I can give you 1 week if it is absolutely needed .- Coach "Man of Inner Strength" Dungy
This is coming from the guy who wrote the post, "Patriot Haters Are Morons": AWESOME! Nice job as always, Dudski. And you're right about "Imagine" -- one of the sappiest hippie anthems EVER. Also thanks for the Ringo-love -- Lennon was pretty mediocre without "that other band".
By the way, isn't it funny how much hype there is for Colts-Pats this Sunday, when it's basically a meaningless game?? Yes, there's the rivalry and bragging rights and all that, but really -- they're both going to win their divisions, and they're probably going to play for the AFC Championship no matter what happens this Sunday.
Yard-I always liked the drummers other people seemed to knock. Michael Clarke of the Byrds was another. He was all over the place, but the feel was right. When the Beatles were good, Ringo was usually very good. He put that swing in there.
You are right about what the game means. I don't think either team wants to show too much to the other, so it will be pretty vanilla.
Well done Dudski. Well written. Belly Laughs!
But, I have sent for the heavy duty net to throw on you. Hide your woman or put the ugly ones in front. The Pats are MOST dangereous, when they think, they have somethings to prove. Colts beat them last three meetings. Double lock your chin straps colts. Every other game was only a warm up. Serious game on tap. Go Pats!!
Funny stuff, my man. Wonder what the oddsmakers are saying, since I have not followed the thing. Kinda too close to call, I guess, but I'm pulling for Manning and crew at home. Too, mebbe, just mebbe, my Steelers can find a chink in the Pats' armor for their game AT NE, IF Manning can get it done. Fuzz
