Hey, if chicks dig the long ball, then call me a Man-chick.

I dig the long ball.

I REALLY dig the long ball.

Yes, pitch selection and OBP is important. Speed kills. But in baseball, the power IS the glory. Forever and ever amen.

If it's not a 100MPH heater getting blown by an Ichiro or Ryan Howard, then it's Howard turning on said heater and terminating it with extreme prejudice. During the flight of said projectile, I know what a woman feels like while having a Death By Chocolate dessert - on my tab. 

(Pardon me while I regain my composure.)

Last night, I could overlook the absence of Barry Bonds while understanding just how good he is. Last night, you had Howard, Prince Fielder, and Justin Morenau - three lefty bombers capable of sinking a few kayaks in McCovey Cove. And they combined for zero, nada, zippo..nary a single Splash Shot. And that's with a friendly serving up meatballs.

His Barryness has 34 in actual game competition. There have been 58 total.

Barry has 34 of them,

You can't write all that off to HGH homeboys.

(And Barry, you should have taken some swings. With the crowd going nuts, Bud Selig would have had to have shown up for 755 and 756. The coward.)

...and why was not Ken Griffey Jr. invited?

Meanwhile, Vlad Guerrero did what he does with a swing that can stir the breeze on your High-Def screen. And Phat Albert Pujols launching bomb after bomb into the deep LF stands, once coming close to dropping a shot into the giant glove (and yes, it is made out of leather) about 500 feet from home plate.

And the Rockies Matt Holiday turned SBC into his personal Coors Field in Round 2 - Park effects you ask? Say it with a Jim Mora pitch - "PARK EFFECTS!?" It was sweet.

And mad props to Big Papi's showmanship by loaning Vlad The Impaler (of Baseballs) his special bat in a special case (no, not a violin case, that would have been perfect though). Only thing missing was Papi telling Vlad "This was your father's lightsaber..."

Sound and Fury are optional for Alex Rios. He was jacking 'em with a swing as effortless as Vlad's was violent. Yeah, I'm envious. I swing that smooth, and it's a groundout to short. Rios seemingly just went swish...and 470 feet later...

And overseeing it all was The Man. Stretch McCovey himself taking it all in, turning an ordinary plastic chair into a well-earned throne just by his immense presence. 

Yeah dammit, I dig the Long Ball.

See you next year - in left field with my glove. Don't get in my way.

Quote of the Week: At dinner Sunday night, I mentioned that final episode of "The Sopranos" killed the Spurs and Cavs last week in the TV ratings "war".

A dinner companion said, "They needed to kill SOMETHING!"

All Hail The King.

Not you LeBron.

I'm talking the San Antonio Spurs... The Spurs have moved into dynasty status with their sweep of the Cavs.

But I am SO not feeling the capital "D" dynasty.

Why? Shouldn't a dynasty team go at least back-to-back once? 

Don't blame them for being "boring" - that's a function of horrible Finals matchups as anything else. The 99 Knicks? Strike year. Ewing was hurt (which might have helped the Knicks that year), and the Knicks were outgunned. The '03 Nets? Offensively challenged, and I'll be nice and leave it there. The '05 Pistons were the most worthy competitor, but played as bland a band of basketball as the Spurs.

And you can read this entry to see what I thought of the Cavs, a team that made the '03 Nets look like the second coming of the Showtime Lakers.

It is not the Spurs fault that their stiffest competiton came within their conference, and they took care of business when they could. They have been the most consistent team of the decade, a tribute to their front office, coaching, and players. But their "dominance" hasn't been the type that inspires awe. The Lakers' pulled off a Thee-peat on Duncan's watch, as Kriegle misses that point.

Great organization.

Not a great dynasty.

But I'll be damned if I bet against them right now.

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Bud Selig just doesn't get it.

As any happily married couple will tell you, it never hurts to same "I'm sorry".

"We should have apologized back then and made sure we had a rule in place and gone forward ... Steroids and all that was a part of history. But it was a topic that everybody wanted to avoid. Nobody wanted to talk about it." -Jason Giambi

Speaking truth to power can get you in trouble. Speaking truth to no one in particular can get you suspended in MLB. Jason nailed it, and his reward?

Speak to George Mitchell - or get suspended.

If I was Jason, I'd tell Bud to stick it. The man shows a conscience, and THIS is what he gets? Barry Bonds looks smarter every day.