This is why I don’t waste my time screwing around with mock drafts.

The Houston Texans signed Mario Williams in advance of the NFL draft last night, setting themselves up to be the most savvy or stupid team of the modern draft era. In doing so, they passed up Heisman Trophy winner Reggie Bush, the most explosive player in college football in the last 20 years whose incredible speed and moves had scouts comparing him to Marshall Faulk and Gale Sayers. Heady company to be sure.

You have to give the Texans credit for testicular fortitude though. Either Super Mario had better be the second coming of Reggie White or Deacon Jones – or Reggie B. had better fall horribly flat on his face. That is almost the only way you can justify this pick, right?

The case for Williams: You had the 31^st ranked defense in the NFL. You’re switching from a 4-3 to a 3-4. There is a DE available whom scouts are comparing to Julius Peppers. Mario Williams fits the bill. He’s a wrecking crew that can almost immediately push your D into the Top half of the league. Moreover, he’ll play every down, you aren’t sure that Reggie Bush can. After all, you have David Carr, a solid QB who has played behind awful offensive lines. You signed a Pro Bowl wideout in Eric Moulds, who would go nicely with Andre Johnson, who seemed as affected by the general malaise as Carr. Do remember that Domanick Davis is a 1,100 yard back behind this sorry excuse for an O-line line. Give him a better offensive scheme, which coach Gary Kubiak should provide and what can he do then? Who needs to pay big bucks for a back that can't carry the ball 20 times a game, who isn't even on the field on short yardage?

The case for Bush: Back in 1983, the Houston Rockets had the 1^st and 3^rd pick in the NBA draft. The first pick was a no-brainer, Ralph Sampson of Virginia. With the 3^rd, the Rockets felt the pressure – tons of it - to take a hometown boy from University of Houston, Clyde Drexler. Bill Fitch had other ideas. A defensive minded small forward from Louisville caught his eye nice fella named Rodney McCray. And the Rockets drafted Rodney Mac. And he was a solid, hardworking forward for over a decade in the NBA.

Alas, Rodney was no Clyde. Drexler finally wound up with Houston in 1995, just in time to help them win their second consecutive title. But imagine a Houston team with Hakeem Olajuwon, Clyde, and a healthy Ralph in the second half of the 1980s. Bling bling baby. 

The Texans drafted Rodney McCray in cleats.They went safe. Why take Michael Jordan when you have Clyde already? Except that Domanick Davis isn't that good.

Hey, I know Reggie Bush carried the ball 20 times just twice in a game his career. I know he goes 200 pounds. I know he doesn’t move the pile.

No, what Reggie Bush does is that he moves the ball. In huge chunks at a pop. I’ve heard wonderful things about Mario Williams, but no one – I mean no-body has claimed that this guy reminded them of Bruce Smith. Or Deacon Jones. When is the last time that a college player was ranked this high and compared to ####le Sayers, and did not deliver? Exactly.

Overall, this works for both men. New Orleans with the second pick has the ability to trade out to a team that could use Bush (and the list is longer than one might think), and that team is likely to have a solid offensive line. The worst thing for Reggie is to play for a bad team and a bad line that will give him few creases. Bush in a Raider, Eagle, or Bronco uniform? Think Tony Dorsett with the Cowboys. Would he have had as much success had he started his career in Seattle or Tampa Bay? And remember, Dallas had their Domanick Davis, a nice solid running back named Robert Newhouse.

Of course, things get really interesting if New Orleans takes him, especially given that they have a gimpy Deuce McAllister and holes elsewhere. More than anything, Reggie needs to be with a coach who has offensive imagination. Is that present in Nawlins? Sean Payton does have experience with Tiki Barber (a similar style back) in New York. But if you buy the hype, Bush is a level beyond Tiki.

And if you think today is strange, what happens if the Saints pass on Reggie for D’Brickashaw Ferguson? Or take Matt Leinart? Even though the Jets have issues elsewhere, can they pass on Bush? If they do, will the Titans deviate from drafting Vince Young or Matt Leinart? Hard to believe, but possible. Expect one other player to free fall out of the Top 10.

All because the Texans went safe. Good luck.

I'll admit that I did not see much of Mario Williams. However, I saw a ton of Reggie Bush. If Pete Carroll played him at wide receiver, he'd been All-American. He has the fluid moves of Gale Sayers, and no one - NO ONE hit him flush. He takes kicks back to the house.

Every time Reggie carries the ball, it was like Gale himself said once, "18 inches - that's all I need". Get Reggie to the second level, and you might as well get the extra point team up. If Mario racks up 11-15 sacks a year, and Reggie winds up being Blair Thomas, then the Texans win big.

Now, who REALLY believes that?

Perusing the news on the NFL coaching firings (which felt a bit like a coaching obituary) gave me flashbacks to the climatic scene in “The Godfather” where Michael Corleone decides to handle his business and liquidate the competition.

Oh come on, dig if you will the picture... of Paul Tagliabue and the owners of the Texans, Vikings, Rams, Chiefs, Raiders, etc at a christening ceremony while Tice, Capers, Sherman, et al get whacked.

“Al Davis, do you renounce Satan?”

(Tice gets Donald Trump-ed on a cruise boat, Super Bowl tickets falling from his hand…)

(Mike Sherman on a rubbing table, redeeming a spa coupon from his friend Brett Favre – BLAM! In the eye!)

“I do.”

(Norv Turner gets it between some revolving doors, while Al Davis smiles grimly from across the street)

(Jim Haslett is ambushed in San Antonio, wandering lost as he forgot for the 923^rd time that he wasn’t in 'Nawlins anymore.)

(Dom Capers gets it while getting a parking ticket from a uniformed cop who looks a lot like Charlie Casserly…)

The only thing missing from this sequence is much-beloved (heh heh heh) Brian Billick as the treacherous Carlo Rizzi. Imagine…

Ozzie Newsome and Steve Biscotti strolls into Billick’s office, while Billick is frantically dialing on the phone, getting "Your number has been disconnected or is no longer in service" when calling Norv Turner

Ozzie: ”Brian, you still have Santino, uh I mean Kyle Boller to answer for…”

BB: (pale, sweating, whispering) “Noooo…I’m Brian Billick…”

Ozzie: You think you could fool a real football mind with that farce from Cal? Come on now…

BB: “I swear to you Ozzie, I thought he’d be the next Randall Cunningham…”

Ozzie: “Please Brian. Don’t tell me you’re innocent. It just insults my intelligence, and makes me very angry. I played with Bernie Kosar, remember?” Now tell me the truth, who pushed you to take Boller? Was it Barzini?

BB: Huh?

Biscotti: Who was it? Modell or Fassell?

Billick: Actually sir, you OK'ed it.

Ozzie: Don’t remind me. That will be fixed…now, get out of my sight…”

Billick rushes gratefully into the car.

Lurking in the back of the Ravens-purple Escalade…Rick Neuheisel.

Just then, Rick gets text messaged from Ozzie. “Nevermind. He’s gets another year. Why I have no idea.”

Rick: "Are you sure this is the guy anyway?"

Ozzie: Why do you ask?

Rick: He looks like our Brian, but I dunno... he looks weird... sort of ...humble...

Ozzie: "It's a start..."

---------------

OK, that was fun. But that is the thing about mass layoffs in any line of work, and I've been through a couple; You knew it would happen. It still doesn’t prepare you for the impact.

Monday, five coaches were fired, and #### Vermeil retired. Today, Norv Turner went down in flames. The bloodletting hasn’t ended either, as #### Jauron is an interim coach facing the likely axe.

Fact is, the NFL usually tends to be the most brutal of meritocracies. Turner couldn’t develop a consistent offense with Randy Moss, Lamont Jordan, and Jerry Porter.

See ya.

Jim Haslett might have gotten the rawest deal of all, given Hurricane Katrina, a wacky owner and the non-support of the NFL. However, the (S)aints have been chronic underachievers for the past few years.

Bye Jim.

Given four years to run the show in Houston, Dom Capers couldn’t keep David Carr from looking like a Crip crashing a Bloods picnic.

In the immortal words of the late commedian Robin Harris, “gotta go gotta go”!

For all of the offensive brilliance of Mike Martz, he constantly forgot that Steven Jackson and future Hall Of Famer Marshall Faulk were allowed to run the ball on consecutive plays - and we won’t even get into the political drama. The Rams may want to hire #### Cheney or Karl Rove for the front office if it gets any worse.

Mike Sherman had the backing of Brett Favre, but I’m not sure that is an endorsement you want. I mean, Brett led the NFL in interceptions, and is good for at least three really silly throws in a game. Clearly new leadership is needed on the frozen tundra.

Now we move to the next phase. The wooing and hiring.

Make 'em an offer they can't refuse.