Fiddy Cent had 21 Questions...

Paul Simon had 50 Ways to Leave...

Jay-Z? 99 Problems. (alas for me, a woman IS one. )

I took the average, of the above, and came up with 57. So detail 57 Things I Believe In. If you believe in, oh about 85% of what I believe, you will be empowered. Men will envy you, women will desire you, and I'll wonder if you have a mind of your own.

Read on:

1. I believe that Notre Dame being good is good for all of us who hate all things Notre Dame. Ditto for the Boston Celtics and Dallas Cowboys.

2. I believe that Ty Willingham got ####, but that Charlie Weis is a better coach.

2a. I believe that U-Dub will pull the upset at South Bend next year.

3. I believe that USC has the greatest offense in college football history. I think that I couldn't duplicate those numbers on my XBox. With the cheat codes.

4. I believe that David Stern is not good for the NBA anymore, but...

4a. I believe that the NBA Player's Association doesn't have a clue.

5. I believe that the Phoenix Suns and Dallas Mavs are the best thing to happen in the NBA in about 20 years.

6. I beleve that the NBA dress code is a good idea done for the wrong reasons.

7. I believe that Hip Hop is something I'll look back on fondly having grown up in it, but ...

8. ...I believe that elements of hip hop is the 21st century minstel show. I can't see a big difference in Steppin' Fetchit and Lil' John on some days. And it breaks my heart. 

9. I believe that if the NBA really wanted to bring fans back, they'd widen and lengthen the court, and make damn sure that scoring stays up. If I want 78-69, I'll watch UConn and Duke.

10. I believe that Wilt Chamberlain would hand Shaq his head on the basketball court.

11. I believe that Marcus Camby is trying to channel Bill Russell. Lean, skilly, left-handed shot-blocker...

12. I believe that Shawn Livingston is the truth. Now please stay healthy kid.

13. I believe that Chris Webber has never deserved the beating he takes from critics, and isn't it funny how the Kings have played without him?

14. I believe that the Colts can go 16-0.

15. I believe that an AFC title game with Tony Dungy and Marvin Lewis on the sidelines will open the floodgates of black coaches.

16. I believe that no one knows that EVERY black head coach EVER hired has gotten his team in the playoffs within TWO years. Look it up.

16a. I believe that the above proves the adage that "You have to be twice as good get half as far" is still in full effect.

17. I believe that I am not the only man who finds intellect combined with humor incredibly sexy in a woman. 

18. I believe that Michael Vick is the NFL's answer to Earl Monroe and Doctor J. Vick has officially brought street ball to the NFL, and won with it.

19. I believe that Brett Farve is the most overrated great QB in NFL history, but he has more Teflon than Ronnie Ray-Gun.

20. I believe that Steve Young is the most underrated QB ever, and that Troy Aikman isn't even the best Cowboy QB ever (see Staubach, Roger)... 

21. I believe that Peyton Manning is a great QB, but enough already about how he changes plays at the line. Many a good QB can and has done it. They just don't make as big a show of it as he does.

22. I believe there should be no doubt about Warren Moon being in the Hall Of Fame, based off his NFL career.

23. I believe that Mike Martz is the worst clock manager since Cinderella, and doesn't respect the running game enough. But as an offensive mind, he belongs up there with Gillman, Coryell, and Walsh.  

24. I now believe that Reggie Bush just MIGHT be the next Gale Sayers.

25. I believe that steroids have no place in sports, but that the current hysteria is pathetic. Call it RoidSteria.

26. I believe that there is no drug on earth that can make Barry Bonds hit .370

27. I believe that in 15 years - at most, there will be legal drugs with no side effects that will make The Clear and The Cream look like Pez.

28. I believe that Mark McGwire used. I also believe that people who cheered him in 1999 and boo him now are hyporcrites.

29. I believe that Boston Sports Fans are the most narcissitic in the country.

30. I believe that Roger Clemens is the greatest pitcher of my lifetime. Caveat: I never saw Sandy Koufax or Bob Gibson.

31. I believe that Barry can hit 800 homers, but Hank Aaron will still get his long-overdue love, beacuse Hank Aaron is the most underrated player ever.

32. I believe that I should have tried to marry the girl who could break down the NBA better than I could, while she was working on her PhD in microbiology - and cute. I blew it. But it was a great date.

33. I believe that at least two of my big bro's kids will make money in sports. But the third kid will always have my heart as long as I get to teach her how to hit a baseball. Hell, who am I kidding? She's already my spare daughter.

34. I believe that dating a single mom can be, if nothing else, a growth experience for a decent man.

(back to sports)

35. I believe that Serena and Venus Williams will win another five Grand Slam titles between them.

36. I believe that Serena will also be remembered for bringing bodacious, brick-house black women into the so-called mainstream of beauty.

37. I believe that Lindsay Davenport gets hosed because she isn't as fine as the Williams sisters, Sharapova, et al...

38. I believe that men's tennis would benefit when the rackets are regulated so that true finesse can return to the game.

39. I believe that James Rodney ("J.R.") Richard was the Herb Score of my lifetime. He would have been in the Hall of Fame except for the stroke.

40. I believe that there are plenty of white guys in the US who could play in the NBA or as an NFL running back, but they've gotten psyched out by the images they see.

41. I believe that the irony of the above - that stereotypes can affect white people the way they do people of color in other areas of society is instructional for us all.

42. I believe that the current beer commercials with Gene Simmons and Flavor Flav are hysterical.

42. I believe that Pete Rose should be in the Hall Of Fame. But he should not get a managing job again. At least it would stop him pimping his gear at Cooperstown every damn year.

43. I believe that if you, the fan, throw something at a player, or use racial slurs or make otherwise henious remarks, you and the player should be locked in a room alone. John Green locked in a room with Ron Artest on PPV would pretty much end #### behavior at games.

44. I believe I don't like being put in a position to have to defend Ron Artest.

45. I believe that Dennis Rodman should have been on the NBA Top 50 list.

45a. I believe that Rodman is one of the five greatest rebounders in the history of the NBA. And I can prove it with stats.

Speaking of stats:

46. I believe that "Moneyball" was one of the great sports books ever.

47. I believe that all Billy Beane, Paul DePodesta, et al did was replace the Old Boys Club, with a Young Guys Club.

48. I believe that I could have been a baseball GM before I turned 30.

49. I believe that I should be a regular on The Sports Reporters.

50. I believe that Ralph Wiley was one of the great writers ever, not just in sports.

51. I believe that sports talk radio is pretty pale...and that I need to do something about it.

52. I believe that Bill Walton is the modern day Howard Cosell. Hoooorrrrible, but true. And it's good for the fans.

53. I believe that TNT's show with Barkley, Kenny Smith, and Ernie Johnson is the most fun since Monday Night Football had Cosell and Meridth in their prime.

54. I believe that "White Men Can't Jump" and "Diggstown" are two great sports movies that no one ever mentions.

55. I believe that Hillary Swank threw a more convincing left hook in "Million Dollar Baby" than Rocky Balboa. 

55a. I believe that Eddie Murphy was right - "Rocky" got people hurt in real life.  

56.  I believe that Tiger "Ali" Woods will get his "Frazier".

57. I believe that Roger Federer is so good, we don't have a real context for him yet. Like Wilt in the early 1960s.

And finally...

 I believe I'll win this blog-off, and I'll take a break, and do this again later.

-30-