1. I believe that I will spend the rest of my natural life kicking myself for not drafting Adrian Peterson in the 2nd round like I considered. Me, the Super Genius, like Wile E. Coyote figured that Ned Flanders, uh I mean head coach Brad Childress would be married to the dreaded Chester Taylor/Peterson time-share, and I chose the legendary Tatum Bell instead.

(Insert the Florida Evans, "Damn! Damn! Damn!" right here.) Mind you, this was AFTER I told everyone that A-Pete had Canton potential.

2. While I’m on the subject, I also believe that A-Pete just moved into the Top 3for MVP consideration.

3. I believe that Randy Moss should be ranked higher in the MVP voting than Tom Brady. Yeah, I said it.

Two plays sum it up for me – those two ridiculous TDs against the Dolphins. Don't listen to Ron Jaworski's babble about Brady's placement of the ball - he threw it up into double coverage, and Moss hauls it in. No other human being can make that catch. Randy Moss did it twice. Then on Sunday Moss beats Indy's vaunted Cover Two (designed to stop the deep ball) for a momentum-changing 55 yard pass.

4. I believe I found common ground with Jason Whitlock. Randy Moss is the most physically gifted wideout - EVER. Jerry Rice, Cris Carter, and Fred Bilitenkoff had better hands. Bob Hayes may be faster. Steve Largent ran beautiful routes. But none of them combined 4.28 speed, the 6-4 height, the vertical and the  ability to adjust to the pass in midflight.

5. I believe that Jason Whitlock needs to end the Chad Johnson madness. Chad’s endzone celebrations have nothing to do with the Bengals inability to stop the run. Ocho Cinco’s Hall Of Fame jackets have nothing to do with Odell Thurman’s unwillingness to obey the law.

I had a huge problem with the silly gold teeth (since removed), to all but call Chad an Uncle Tom (“Mr. Bojangles”? Come on Jason…) is hitting low. Yeah, I know that being The Black Scold is good business – especially with an organization as conservative as Fox, and it is sometimes necessary. But I despise hypocricy, and Keyshawn Johnson attempting to condemn The Chad – well, Mr. Pot, meet Mr. Kettle. It is NOT ok because Keyshawn is in the media. Shame on you Jason.

6. I believe that no good quarterback has every possesed the hideous body language that Peyton Manning displays in clutch siutations.

I’m sorry, but when the pressure is on, he looks like Rex Grossman on caffine overload looking for a fix. No one who is so allegedly cerebral as Manning should be as frenetic. When the Colts started that last drive, and Manning dropped back, his body language screamed “Gottathrowitfast gottathrowitfast”…and those two fumbles while being sacked? Grossman-esque.

7. I believe that we can expect more media heads to experience multiple Farvegams in the second half of the season. Brett Favre is experiencing a renaissance because he’s shown consistently better judgement than I have seen from him in a few years.

Simply put, for the first time in years, coach Mike McCarthy has gotten Brett to limit his boneheaded throws that are always ALWAYS glossed over by the media (i.e. “Favre-gasms”) with “Brett is a gunslinger”, “Brett sure is having fun…”

By the way, why wasn’t the game stopped when Brett threw his record-breaking 277th pick? 

8. I believe that the San Diego Chargers lost their first November game in four years on Sunday, and it won't be the last. Marty has got to chuckling.

9. I believe that Hines Ward is a man's man. He blew up Ed Reed and Tom Scott in the SAME GAME? Tell me the last time you saw a 190 pound receiver drop a couple of All-Pro head-hunters in the same CAREER, much less the same game?

10. I believe that Brian Billick has lived off his offensive genius rep for at least five years too long. Blame Randy Moss. Remember, Billick was the offensive coordinator for the record-setting Vikings with the rookie Randy Moss catching 17 TDs, and the team scoring a record 556 points, which may go down in flames to this year's Pats squad.

Since The Offensive Guru moved to B-more, the Ravens have ranked 26th, 21st, 31st, and 24th in yardage the last four seasons. They've never been higher than 14th in the Billick era in any offensive category except once.

Bonus belief: Sebastian Janikowski just missed a would be NFL record 64 yard FG, hitting the upright on a bomb that would have been good from at least 70 yards. And unlike Jason Elam's kick, the stadium in Oakland actually sits BELOW sea level. 

Yet, when or if  the record gets broken, I believe there is something about Tom Demsey’s record-setting kick in 1970 – perhaps it was the posts on the goal line (which meant that Dempsey launched it from his own 37 yard line), the old-school kicking style, or the NFL Films shot from the side…it will always be number one in my book.

Until the next time friends...

Perusing the news on the NFL coaching firings (which felt a bit like a coaching obituary) gave me flashbacks to the climatic scene in “The Godfather” where Michael Corleone decides to handle his business and liquidate the competition.

Oh come on, dig if you will the picture... of Paul Tagliabue and the owners of the Texans, Vikings, Rams, Chiefs, Raiders, etc at a christening ceremony while Tice, Capers, Sherman, et al get whacked.

“Al Davis, do you renounce Satan?”

(Tice gets Donald Trump-ed on a cruise boat, Super Bowl tickets falling from his hand…)

(Mike Sherman on a rubbing table, redeeming a spa coupon from his friend Brett Favre – BLAM! In the eye!)

“I do.”

(Norv Turner gets it between some revolving doors, while Al Davis smiles grimly from across the street)

(Jim Haslett is ambushed in San Antonio, wandering lost as he forgot for the 923^rd time that he wasn’t in 'Nawlins anymore.)

(Dom Capers gets it while getting a parking ticket from a uniformed cop who looks a lot like Charlie Casserly…)

The only thing missing from this sequence is much-beloved (heh heh heh) Brian Billick as the treacherous Carlo Rizzi. Imagine…

Ozzie Newsome and Steve Biscotti strolls into Billick’s office, while Billick is frantically dialing on the phone, getting "Your number has been disconnected or is no longer in service" when calling Norv Turner

Ozzie: ”Brian, you still have Santino, uh I mean Kyle Boller to answer for…”

BB: (pale, sweating, whispering) “Noooo…I’m Brian Billick…”

Ozzie: You think you could fool a real football mind with that farce from Cal? Come on now…

BB: “I swear to you Ozzie, I thought he’d be the next Randall Cunningham…”

Ozzie: “Please Brian. Don’t tell me you’re innocent. It just insults my intelligence, and makes me very angry. I played with Bernie Kosar, remember?” Now tell me the truth, who pushed you to take Boller? Was it Barzini?

BB: Huh?

Biscotti: Who was it? Modell or Fassell?

Billick: Actually sir, you OK'ed it.

Ozzie: Don’t remind me. That will be fixed…now, get out of my sight…”

Billick rushes gratefully into the car.

Lurking in the back of the Ravens-purple Escalade…Rick Neuheisel.

Just then, Rick gets text messaged from Ozzie. “Nevermind. He’s gets another year. Why I have no idea.”

Rick: "Are you sure this is the guy anyway?"

Ozzie: Why do you ask?

Rick: He looks like our Brian, but I dunno... he looks weird... sort of ...humble...

Ozzie: "It's a start..."

---------------

OK, that was fun. But that is the thing about mass layoffs in any line of work, and I've been through a couple; You knew it would happen. It still doesn’t prepare you for the impact.

Monday, five coaches were fired, and #### Vermeil retired. Today, Norv Turner went down in flames. The bloodletting hasn’t ended either, as #### Jauron is an interim coach facing the likely axe.

Fact is, the NFL usually tends to be the most brutal of meritocracies. Turner couldn’t develop a consistent offense with Randy Moss, Lamont Jordan, and Jerry Porter.

See ya.

Jim Haslett might have gotten the rawest deal of all, given Hurricane Katrina, a wacky owner and the non-support of the NFL. However, the (S)aints have been chronic underachievers for the past few years.

Bye Jim.

Given four years to run the show in Houston, Dom Capers couldn’t keep David Carr from looking like a Crip crashing a Bloods picnic.

In the immortal words of the late commedian Robin Harris, “gotta go gotta go”!

For all of the offensive brilliance of Mike Martz, he constantly forgot that Steven Jackson and future Hall Of Famer Marshall Faulk were allowed to run the ball on consecutive plays - and we won’t even get into the political drama. The Rams may want to hire #### Cheney or Karl Rove for the front office if it gets any worse.

Mike Sherman had the backing of Brett Favre, but I’m not sure that is an endorsement you want. I mean, Brett led the NFL in interceptions, and is good for at least three really silly throws in a game. Clearly new leadership is needed on the frozen tundra.

Now we move to the next phase. The wooing and hiring.

Make 'em an offer they can't refuse.