The G-Report is back, and The G is ticked.

Update from Dallas: Stu Jackson, NBA watchdog against acts of random violence (mostly because no sane team will let him coach), suspends Jason Terry for a half punch thrown while on his back in a pileup that a TV camera half-caught. Jason felt that getting his head pushed into the floor by Michael Finley demanded action. Of course, Finley got a pass. 

But Kobe Bryant gets a pass for belting Raja Bell twice in the head with an elbow. Reggie Evans get his hand under Chris Kaman's shorts and checks him for possible genital deformities. He gets a fine.

Got to love Stu's logic, "Certainly one clear difference is in the case of Reggie Evans we didn't have a clear view exactly what happened," Stu Jackson, the NBA vice president who handles such punishments, said Thursday. "We understand he reached underneath the player, but you couldn't see the end result. It's really an apple and an orange."

First Stu, it's more like apples and er, walnuts. Secondly, no one had a clear view, but the Spurs found a camera with the right angle and rushed it to the league in record time. Thirdly, when even Greg Popavich looked guilty at this Xmas present, just maybe you and Comissioner Stern (rumor has it Stu's mouth only moves when The David's hand is in his back) should take a good hard look at this "policy".

When training as a referee, I was always told one thing: don’t decide the outcome of games if you can avoid it. Let the players decide the game. Now league officials have taken on that role. I think our leaders in Washington have proven that the whole ‘resolute’ thing has not worked, so show some flexibility. I admit I’m rooting for Dallas tonight.

And if Phoenix can win a Game 6 without Raja Bell - on the road no less - don't think that Dallas will fold.

I think Antonio McDyess is still sitting on the Piston bench in deep shock.

It won’t be too long until I see a headline titled “BUSTED!” with Rasheed Wallace’s mug on it.

I’m not going to lie – I saw this as a 5 game series for the Pistons. Of course, so did Rasheed Wallace. Three games later, the Cavs have a chance to close at home in what would be the biggest playoff upset…ever? The only thing that comes close would be the Rockets taking down the Lakers in the dearly departed mini-series back in 1981.

LeBron James has been all that – as expected. The unexpected was Donyell Marshall dropping 14 and 13 in Game 5.

What was unexpected was the poise of the Cavs, who rallied and took a valuable life lesson from the loss of Larry Hughes who lost his younger brother last week. Said James, "We're all grown men, and this is just basketball," James said. "It's not life and death, and it's not like they're the big bad wolf and we're the three little pigs. We all lace our shoes up the same way."

Much props goes to LeBron for staying true to himself. He dished for the winning basket last nigh, a sweet feed to Drew Gooden after LBJ drew three men to him. You know damn well if Gooden blows the bunny layup, how many haters would be ripping James for not taking the big shot?

(Aside: the win takes Eric Snow off the hook for the unbelievably brain dead pass he threw with 5 seconds left, expecting to run out the clock. Lindsey Hunter ran it down and got the Pistons one more chance with 1.9 seconds remaining. What in the name of Fred Brown and Brett Favre was he thinking?)

And most unexpected? The loss of poise from the Pistons. Why wasn’t Tayshawn Prince dropping the glove on LeBron (or at least trying to slow him) from the opening tip? What was Chauncey Billups thinking when he committed a 6^th foul on a

breakaway with a minute remaining? Why did Flip Saunders have Rasheed Wallace on the bench and Ben Wallace on the floor in an offensive situation on the Pistons last two possessions, and why why WHY was Prince taking the big shot with 6 seconds remaining when Rip Hamilton and McDyess (who was red hot in the 4^th period) ready and waiting?

Unreal.

Flip Saunders got out of the first round once in eight years in Minnesota. If the Pistons blow a 2-0 lead, home court, and lose to an inferior Cavs squad…well, Larry Brown might want to take that buyout after all and head West…

Speaking of coaches under the gun, what in the hell was Mike Dunleavy thinking in Games 1-5?

Game 1 – Suns win, go on crucial run with Elton Brand on the bench (while racking up career-high numbers) taking a breather.  Shawn Livingston is on the floor while Sam Cassell is riding pine. Sam is more clutch than Indiana Jones in The Temple Of Doom – AND HE'S RIDING PINE?! Livingston commits a pair of pressure turnovers.

Game 3 – Cassell spends all but 35 seconds of the 4^th period on the bench. Livingston runs out of gas and big plays. SEE GAME 1! I'M TIRED OF REPEATING MYSELF! Suns pull out a late win.

Game 5 – Clips rally from 19 down to win in OT. Sam I Am actually is on the court at the end, but Livingston throws away a crucial inbounds pass (I’ve lost track of the number of pressure TOs Shawn has complied in the series). For some reason unknown to anyone but himself, Mike D. brings in Daniel Ewing, who hasn’t played since gas was under 2.50 a gallon. Even though the Clips had a foul to give, Ewing doesn’t foul, and Raja Bell nails a 3 with 1.9 seconds left to force OT.

All through the series, in pressure situations, I look in Dunleavy’s eyes and see a little Peyton Manning. 

Twice in Portland, he was good enough to coach his team to the Finals, only to get seriously outcoached by Chuck Daly and Phil Jackson. There are worse guys to fall to, but you wonder if he’s learned anything?

 Sam Cassell has two more rings than his coach. His entire career, he takes the big shots, he MAKES the big shots. If you've seen that “Major League 2” celebration of his, you know he has, um...cajones grande? 

Repeat afterme: EVERY crunch time possession should go through Sam and Elton Brand.

Every damn possession.

In three different games - all Clipper losses - Cassell and/or Brand have been out of the mix. And that’s on the coach. Period.

I believe that one day, Shawn Livingston will be an All-Star. Today, the Clips are Sam Cassell’s team. In Cleveland, LeBron is going to see the ball every time down the stretch. Number 13 will have it in his hands for the Suns. Imagine Kobe NOT committing an assault on the court if he was bypassed for a big shot. Get the pattern?

Game 6 – Nothing unexpected here. The Suns are, as they say down South, “tie-ed”, as in “Lawd, my feet is tie-ed from walking all day. The Suns are the best conditioned team in the league, but a hard 7 game series with the Lakers, a short bench, and now another way with the Clippers, and is it any wonder that shots are going flat?

On to the G-Report.

Phoenix Suns - BUY!

• Steve Nash (98/105/Buy!) – The last few games have the Nash haters coming out of the woodwork. The guy has dead legs, as does almost everyone in the Suns top 7 except for Tim Thomas. Not playing until Monday might give his legs the juice they need.
• Tim Thomas (70/75/Buy!) – Watched the game last night at The Grand Lux in The Beverly Center. Good viewing (and not just of the game). Good food. Made a new friend. Homeboy (a Philly native) had the best line of the night, “Who stopped feeding Tim the Ny-Quil? He never balled like that in Philly!” I’m inclined to give him the bennie on Game 6. Look for him to man up on Brand in Game 7 and do something that 17 previous teams and 30 former coaches have never seen before – deliver.
• Boris Diaw (85/85/Buy) – Not a great game, but the Suns point center still came up with 14, 9 and 7 dimes. Better yet were the two sick up-and-under moves on Kaman and Elton Brand straight out of the Kevin McHale low post Handbook. Daym. He’ll have to play much better to get the Suns out of Game 7 with a win.
• Leandro Barbosa (90/87/Buy) – He’s 6’3”, but did you know that he has a 7 foot wingspan. No wonder he’s so dangerous in traffic.
• Brian Grant (0/2/DUMP!) – This is a series that was SCREAMING for his talents. Tell me that Grant could not have ####ed on a body or two down low. Either he really set off D’Antoni, Marcus Allen-Al Davis style (unlikely), or this great undersized warrior is truly done. Which is sad.
• Mike D’Antoni (95/100/Hold) – Game Six was a throwaway, as far as I’m concerned. Bad news was that this game stayed close. A blowout could have gotten him to clear the bench. He’s made the counter-adjustments whenever needed. Expect the same on Monday.

Clippers (Buy with caution)

• Chris Kaman (70/80/Hold) – One day, I’m just waiting for Geico to run a commercial that states “Our insurance is so easy, even a Kaman can use it.” I am a marketing genius.
• Sam Cassell (90/90/Buy) – The Alien lives for Game 7’s. Last time he was in one, versus the Lakers in 2004, Sam was too hurt to be a real factor and the Lakers buried the T-Wolves. He’ll be ready…
• Corey Maggette (90/85/Buy!) – 25 and 8 ballboards, while missing only one shot. That was the X-factor that the Suns had no answer for. That was the Corey we were expecting in the playoffs!
• Shawn Livingston (60/55/Hold) – Just one turnover in 19 minutes last night. Can’t see that happening again. Not wishing ill on the Stick Man, just wondering how Game 7 will affect him...
• Elton Brand (100/100/Buy!) – He went to Duke, but I like him anyhow. Game 7 will give this hammer the due he’s been denied for too long. If you lived on the West Coast, you knew how good he was. Now the rest of the US knows…
• Quinton Ross (60/40/Hold) – One shot told you all you needed to know about Ross last night. Last play of the first half, Ross catches a pass with his hands all wrong, between his legs, hoists the ball up and shoots in one motion. ####. No hating on Ross, but brotherman had pixie dust on him last night. Buy his lockdown defense, sell on his offense.

And now for the really fun part of the G-report:

Scottie Pippen (5/20/SELL!) – Talk about guzzling hater-ade. Last night, he ripped Nash, saying that he’s been “exposed” in the playoffs.

Look, I didn’t vote Nash for MVP, my vote went to LeBron. Kobe and Nash were fighting for runner-up. Kobe got plain shafted by some writers. But to sit around here and say in effect that Nash is overrated and getting “exposed”, well, that is textbook hating from Scottie. The Suns have played every other day for almost a month. The wonder is that the team has kept their legs this long. It’s amazing how Greg Anthony and Pippen come out the woodwork after a Suns loss. If the Suns make it to a Game 7, will it be another fluke?

Detroit Pistons (Hold)

• Chauncey Billups (80/90/Buy) – The single worst mistake he made was his 6^th foul in Game 5. He’s the man who has to steady his team at Crunch Time. He’s the man who takes – and makes – the big shots.
• Ben Wallace (70/85/Buy!) – heard a rumor that Shaq saw Ben’s 0-7 ‘performance’ from the line the other night, and offered him some advice for end of game situations. “Be seated”.
• Flip Saunders (70/85/Hold) – He’s taking heat. He deserves it. But the players were tired of Larry getting all the love. Now it’s time to step up and prove the naysayers wrong. But Flip, why did Tayshawn take the last shot?
• Tayshawn Prince (65/75/Hold) – I like most of his game, but why again, why in the hell was he taking the last shot?  And why wasn’t he locking down LeBron from the getgo?

Cleveland (Buy!)

• LeBron James (100/100/Buy!) – I may not think he’s perfect yet, but judging by that 4-step travel before the game-winner against the Clippers, the refs have already anointed him the next Jordan. Just what the NBA needs, another overprotected superstar.
• Zydrunas Ilgauskas (65/55/But – with caution.) I’ve seen Z-Man in a slasher flick, damned if I can remember which one. It took five games for Z to remember he actually made an All-Star team.
• Anderson Varejao (70/50/BUY!) – Sideshow Bob hair, and a Master’s degree from the Vlade Divac school of flopping. What is there not to like?
• Damon Jones (20/20/Hold) – I’d rate him a 40, except for the wardrobe.
• Larry Hughes (70/40/Buy!) – He’s supposed to return for Game 6. I expect an inspired player that his teammates will feed off.
• Coach Mike Brown (60/50/Buy) – OK. He looks strangely like Smart Brother from “Undercover Brother. The last three games, he’s been coaching like it. But can he teach his team to close the deal?

The G-Report looks at his plasma screen crystal ball:

Mavs upset the Spurs tonight. Josh Howard and Devin Harris will rise up in a big way. Why do I think Mark Cuban is going to hand out 20,000 "Remember The Terry" Towels with "31" emblazoned on them? Because I would?

I love Mike Finley, and I hear he's a nice guy and class act. But he'd better make a quick exit out of Dallas, win or lose tonight.

Pistons survive in a close one tonight to force Game 7.

I'm ghost...see ya in 40 hours.