Arenas Arrested for Unlawful Breathing (AP)

By TAI SHAN

Associated Press

Washington Wizards star Gilbert Arenas and benchwarmer (but all around fun guy) Awvee Storey were arrested in Miami’s South Beach this weekend. The pair were charged with Unlawful Breathing of White People’s Air, a misdemeanor, and being Black in Public, which is a felony.

The pair were rounded up in a sting, dubbed by Police Chief Ray Cyst, “Operation Club Clean.” Cyst spoke of the program as an effort to “get white boys more lovin’, especially police chiefs.” There is an outside chance that Awvee Storey will be transferred to Guantanamo Bay because no one was able to eliminate the name “Awvee” from Homeland Security’s list of potential Muslim names. His fate will be determined later this week by a military trial to be held on the Moon.

Arenas expressed shock at his arrest. “Being African American isn’t illegal in DC, so we go out a lot. Sean Taylor told me not to come down here, though. He said that there was a lot of racism in the South. I thought, ‘there’s racism down South? News to me.’ I guess he was right.”

With all the fuss about LeBron “King” James these days it’s easy to forget about the only team that’s already in the conference finals—the Miami Heat. You may think of Shaq O’Neal first when you think of the Heat. But Shaquille is fading more into the role of icon than the role of center. His minutes are limited; he’s pulling a steady 31 minutes a game. Shaq’s points are pedestrian, just topping 18. His rebounding is slowing as the years and the playoff wear him down; he averaged just over 7 for the Nets series. Pundits talk about Shaq’s “presence,” but the Heat’s payroll department must be contemplating his absence.

Once again we’re ignoring the player who has stepped up more than any other in this playoffs. (That’s right, including LeBron who’s 8 turnovers and 2 missed free throws at the end of game 4 were not exactly clutch.) That player is Dwyane “Flash” Wade, Miami’s quiet superstar.

Nike hasn’t dropped $90 million on Dwyane and that means that the international hype machine that brought you the messianic “Witness” ads isn’t behind the Miami guard. Wade’s Converse deal isn’t going to get him 10-story Big Brother-like Witness posters that block out light in every apartment in Cleveland. Nor will it buy an Industrial Light and Magic ad that features several unfunny Wade clones. Rather, Flash has had to make his own noise on the basketball court--and it’s been a thunderstorm.

This year Wade has been unstoppable in the playoffs. His unprecedented quickness to the rim and highlight reel finishes have been his bread and butter for years. These playoffs he’s began to do what critics (such as myself) have cited as a hole in his game. Wade shot the three at a paltry 17% clip during the season. It’s not that DWade is not dropping the bomb so much these playoffs, he’s just hitting it more. Somehow he’#### 50% from three, which is enough of a taste for perimeter defenders to have to stick a bit closer. All the better to be victimized by Dwyane’s clever crossover or his straight ahead blinding speed.

Wade has also continued his playmaking from the regular season. Most people don’t even realize what a talented assist man that Dwyane is. With all of the mega-hype that LeBron gets about his passing, Wade averaged more assists this season. Flash’s highlight-reel pass in the lane was fodder for SportsCenter. But Wade obsessively breaks down defenses with his patented speed and guile, subverting the collapsing lane with a deft dime.

I think what has most sold me on Wade’s game is his over-arching athleticism. When I see #3 knifing to the peach basket I remember Michael Jordan—with hair. There is artistry to dunking, but it’s also a tool for psychological warfare. Wade’s throw-downs are beautiful and vicious. When Dwyane Wade drops from the rim, AmericanAirlines Arena explodes…or an opponent’s arena deflates. The relentlessness of his game takes mental toughness, something the New Jersey Nets had too little of. Wade didn’t end the Nets with a dunk however; he did it with a patented steal (he’s thieving more than 2 a game in the playoffs.)

What’s also forgotten is that Dwyane Wade has accomplished more than the highly touted “King” James. He won a playoff series his first year in the league as LeBron went home. He’s headed to his second conference finals, and LeBron still may not experience his first. Wade is the heart and soul of the Heat in the same way that LeBron carries the Cavs. It’s funny that such a special player is sneaking up on the playoffs, but somehow Wade is doing just that. Would a James/Wade Eastern Conference Finals duel be unbelievable theatre? No doubt. But for now we only know for sure that one of those players will be there; it’s time to get to know him.

    We’ve all been there—puzzling as to why our team has lost a key piece, or was unable to acquire the prize free agent from the small-market team. It seemed as if your general manager was a major player in the negotiations then for some reason your favorite player was gone. The GM always “did everything they could” and the team really wanted said free agent. Then the player says the team had no offer that was close and had no interest in matching. (Then the player says the new contract wasn’t about money…but that’s another post.) What gives?
    Oftentimes your team’s owner and GM have no intention of signing the player they are supposedly bidding for. Whether it’s a money issue, cap room or a desire to go with somebody else (usually less well-known, but sometimes equally productive) the team just isn’t interested. Due to the pressure from fans to see the team actively attempting to acquire free agents (in the hopes of winning, of course) or to drive up the price of a player for your rival teams, the team will pretend to be a player in the bidding for a free agent. Here’s several types of fake bidding that occur:


“We Really Tried"

    This is usually done by teams to alleviate pressure to acquire a popular free agent or keep a local hero. It requires another team to play the bully, so your GM can paint your team as a helpless victim.     A recent case was Antwaan Randle El. The Steelers quickly resigned themselves to losing Randle El. No game was necessary; their fans were satisfied that the Super Bowl Champs were going to operate successfully within a limited budget. But a lot of noise was being made by Chicagoans (Michael Wilbon for example) that the Bears ought to bolster their receiving corps by bringing a hometown boy back to the Windy City.


    The Bears’ actions were strictly David Blaine. An $18 million offer was floated on the breeze as Randle El made his way to Redskins Park. Randle El turned it down flat before even meeting with Cerato, Snyder and Gibbs. Everybody involved knew that the Skins were going to come to the table with significantly more, especially the Bears. They slid in a nice low-ball hoping the Redskins would knock it out of the park, and they did.
    The Bears knew well that the Redskins reputation for “overpaying” would cover their #### on the low-ball. Plus, they would get the benefit of saying “We tried to get Randle El.” Furthermore, the Bears “never had a chance” because of the “overpaying” of the Redskins. What would have happened had the Bears made a serious offer in the neighborhood of what Randle El finally received? Maybe he’d still be in Washington, but maybe he’d be in Chicago. The Bears never wanted him. Instead they got exactly what they wanted without spending a dime.


    Johnny Damon was a similar “We tried” only in slow motion. The market for Damon was softer than expected. Damon was looking for 5 or 6 years, and had no takers. The Sox had floated a low-ball 3-year offer and almost got what they didn’t want: Johnny Damon in the outfield. There were a bunch of teams with similarly bogus offers on the table like the Orioles (who are always “almost” getting free agents) but nobody to take the fall for the Sox when their World Series hero left town.
    Then the Evil Yankees Empire stepped in. The Yankees saved the day, offering the 4th year, “overpaying” an older player and playing the big, rich, bully for the Red Sox to blame--even though the Sox have the 2nd highest payroll in baseball. The Red Sox float the “We tried” balloon and Coco Crisp is playing at Fenway a little too quickly to have not been the plan all along.


    Why do these teams “overpay” these guys anyway? Randle El can be worth at least $31 million to the Redskins, while maybe not being worth as much to the Bears in their situation. Washington already makes tons of money, but now the Randle El jerseys are flying off the shelves and Snyder can jack up ticket prices, which is just what happened.
    Steinbrenner is making money 18 different ways off of the Yankees. Not only Damon jerseys and fannies in the seats, but television deals that would make the Devil Rays drool. The Yankee product gets a big boost in the middle of the off-season, and Big Stein gets richer. Being the villain isn’t a problem when you’re making money hand-over-fist (and Darth Vader is the coolest character in Star Wars  anyway.)


“Bid Them Up”

    Ebay is a dangerous thing. You’ve bid on something and someone with a evil-sounding screen name outbids you. You bid against each other a few times and now you’ve reached your limit. Then the devil on your shoulder whispers, “bid him up.” So you put in a few extra bids just to cost him a little Cabbage Patch Kid collection.
    Teams do this with free agents all the time. Every extra dollar tied up may cost your rival a player down the line. This is very popular in the American League East.
    Toronto had entered very credible negotiations with Marlins hurler AJ Burnett. As they neared the end of reeling in Burnett, there were still teams hanging on somewhere near the Toronto number. Baltimore and Boston stayed in the mix to drive the price up another $5 million at least. Toronto got their man, and Baltimore and Boston got to squeeze their division rival for the price of a quality utility man or middle reliever.

“The Phantom Offer”


    If you really want to play it safe, this is the way to go. Atlanta mastered this maneuver years ago. The Hawks always have acres of cap space and no intention of using it. Two years ago when Kenyon Martin was a free agent, the New York Times reported that the Hawks were expected to tender Martin a max deal offer. This would have been a bold addition for the hapless Hawks had it been a real offer.
    But it never materialized. This “Phantom Offer” had a little bit of the “we tried” (if you weren’t paying too close attention) and ultimately “bid up” the price to a max deal for Denver.  The beneficial effect of this non-bid is a bit less than tendering an actual offer. The financial risk, of course, is zero, so any benefits are free. We’ll see whether there’s a bid or a no-bid on Harrington this summer. I’m guessing non-bid.

    Owners and GM’s play a lot of games because, like it or not, sports is a big business. The same brinksmanship and deceit occurs in high-stakes business deals around the world. I think it is important to realize that just like when David Blaine supposedly holds his breath for nine minutes, nothing is what it appears to be.

This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, 'Doc, uh, my brother's crazy, he thinks he's a chicken,' and uh, the doctor says, 'well why don't you turn him in?' And the guy says, 'I would, but I need the eggs.'

                --Woody Allen

 

Okay, Wizards Nation isn’t exactly Lakers Nation. (One’s The US, the other is Micronesia--I’ll let you figure out which is which) But they do speak with one voice on this issue. The fans, coaches and players say “Gilbert, you do whatever you have to do to. If you need to change all of your clothes including your shorts and your…um…shorts then do it up. (Arenas changed every part of his uniform during halftime.) If you want to play the second half in a wedding gown, go for it.” Arenas put up 20 points in the fourth quarter of Sunday Night’s game to knot the Wizards-Cavaliers playoff series at two games apiece.  

You may not be familiar with Arenas’ quirkiness, dubbed “Gibertology” by Coach Eddie Jordan, but you’ve probably seen his free-throw “routine”: basketball three times around his back, wipes right hand on his shorts, then up and usually in. Steve Kerr kept babbling about (among other things) Gil coming up with the routine to “slow himself down”. Okay, maybe. Then there’s his halftime activity of choice: internet poker. That’s what a captain is for, right? Antawn Jamison isn’t so sure. “On the court he's been phenomenal, he's done everything you can ask of a captain. But off the court? We've still got a little bit more work.” Antawn’s being diplomatic.

Gilbert’s showered with his uniform and sneaks on for “motivation”. (He scored 25 points in the second half of that game.) He wears size 13 shoes on his 14 1/2 feet to make his feet look smaller. He put baby powder instead of powdered sugar on his teammates’ donuts. Then again, after the Wizards lost the series to Miami last year, he was practicing the very next night--very late.

Is Arenas a bit crazy? Possibly. But how many bright and creative people are? If he needs help down the road, I hope that he gets it. But the Wizards need help right now, and I hope Gilbert can deliver, whatever he wears.

 

  

Unfortunately, there is still a stigma attached to mental illness, as if it makes someone less of a person. It's not a sign of frailty. Getting help is a sign of strength.

        -- Jeff Zillgitt, USA Today

I don't believe professional athletes should be role models. I believe parents should be role models.... It's not like it was when I was growing up. My mom and my grandmother told me how it was going to be. If I didn't like it, they said, "Don't let the door hit you in the #### on your way out." Parents have to take better control.
                    —Charles Barkley

    Charles Barkley’s statement about athletes not being role models and Nike’s subsequent commercials on the subject generated a lot of profitable controversy in the 90s. Since then many athletes have been living up to his low expectations. John Rolfe, of Sports Illustrated For Kids talked about having difficulty picking out athletes for the magazine in 2004:

…Here at SI For Kids…we had a litmus test for athletes before we admitted them into our pages: a clean record and positive life message. We were quickly down to a pair of backup goaltenders, three utility infielders and a member of the PGA senior tour.

    I’m not going to run down the list of troubled athletes because I don’t want carpal tunnel. But there is another tough-as-nails, undersized forward who, unlike Barkley, is passionate about being a role model. That’s because his “…role models [as a kid] were pimps [and] drug dealers.” Caron Butler followed the lead of the worst of street culture and almost wasted his life.

    Butler copped to being arrested 15 times before the age of 15 on an Oprah appearance. The bust that finally sent him away was Caron being caught with an unloaded gun and a small amount of cocaine. Initially he was sent to an adult prison, but then he was transferred to the facility that tested his will and ultimately changed his life.

    When Caron was transferred to juvie jail at the Ethan Allen School for Boys in Wales, Wisconsin, things got bad immediately. Caron was in solitary confinement within a week when an “old friend” from Racine wanted to scrap. Fifteen days in solitary gave Caron a lot of time--time to think. Caron recalled his quandary: “I had to decide whether to shape up or spend my life in the prison system.” Sometimes your own life and future isn’t enough to pull you out of a spiral, though. That’s where Caron’s mom stepped in to do what moms do best.

    "Seeing my mother cry from the jail cell was disturbing for me," Butler said, "As a child the worst thing you want to see is your mother cry.” Caron needed a way out. He was a tall, athletic kid who never took advantage of athletic programs at school. Caron started to perfect his cold-blooded game not in an AAU program or in high school ball, but on the lawless asphalt of juvenile prison.

    Upon release, Caron got his act together with the help and goodwill of the George Bray Community Center. Eventually Butler went to a Maine prep school to regain the year of eligibility lost when he was arrested and expelled from Case High School. After two years in Jim Calhoun’s tough-love UConn Huskies program, Butler was drafted 10th overall by the Miami Heat in 2002.

    Caron’s career has been far from a steady progression towards greatness. His stellar rookie effort landed him third behind Amare Stoudamire and Yao Ming in the Rookie of the Year voting (he collected 13 first place votes). But his sophomore campaign for the Heat was marred by injury and he was soon sent to the Lakers as part of the deal that landed Shaq in Miami. He regained his footing in season three but once again was packaged for a big man, this time Kwame Brown. His new team, the Washington Wizards, were ready to make this a long-term relationship and inked him to a 5-year, $46 million deal immediately.  Butler responded by upping his totals in points, boards, and assists. More importantly he has become what Antawn Jamison has described as “the glue” on a team that has turned around a horrendous run of NBA bottom-dwelling matched only by the also recently resurgent Clippers.  

    So as the Wizards and Cavs continue what has been a thrilling and hotly-contested playoff series, you can watch Caron draining shot-after-shot to keep the sometimes-neurotic Wizards from losing hope. Or see him rise over LeBron to hit, even though the sickly-talented King James can slap the shot clock before dunking. Caron’s fearless game arises not from just learning to ball in the most dangerous pickup games on earth (though that helps); Caron will tell you why he can play without fear--He plays for the kids.

    Butler receives letters from troubled kids all over the country who are trying to turn their lives around. They’ve seen his courageous moves on the court, and his greater courage to fess up to bad decisions and choices on a national stage. Caron considers it a mission to be a role model for these kids. In his own words:

There might be a kid out there who has been through some bad things and maybe seeing me, someone who has been through the things I've been through will help them…I don't necessarily mean playing in the NBA. It can be school. It can be music. It might be helping other people. There are so many better things that you can do with your life. We all go through some difficult things, but once those things happen, the question is: How are you going to respond?

    I hope that Charles Barkley is an in-studio analyst for as long as I’m alive. He’s either hilarious or controversial or both and he always makes me think. But I also hope Barkley is wrong on this one. Howard Tractman in the American Journal of Bioethics explains where Barkley might have gone astray:

When Sir Charles dropped the role model ball, I think he did that because he did not want to be burdened with the need to lead the discussion of how basketball could make society better.  

    Caron Butler’s bears that burden lightly because the strongest muscle in Caron's body is his heart.

"We don't choose to be role models, we are chosen."—Karl Malone