There was a man in Detroit who didn't have a clue. He made Lions fans' faces turn black and blue. Many of those same fans were really stewed. And then he decided to hire Martin Mayhew.
That man is named Ford. His figurative tires are stuck. And he clearly can't see his way through the muck. Looking at this, Downs says "Aw shucks!" 'Cause Ford is no good; no, he totally ####s!
I said Ford ###s, and that's a fact. His handling of this team had no tact. There are many things this 0-16 team lacks. And knowing W.C. Ford, losing is his knack!
I really lamented Marinelli; I thought he was over his head. But after today's presser, I knew what I thought had no cred. Because it is clear who makes fan's faces turn red That man is Ford; he should be forced to his bed!
The man seems like a clone of Donald Sterling. Who keeps the Clippers' wheels keep whirling and whirling. They seems joined at the hip; that has me stirring. Because neither one has a guy like Merlin.
Look at yesterday; the game at Green Bay. And much to the Lions' fans dismay. The Packers beat them up; a truly ugly display. And then I thought; they could lose to the Tampa Bay Rays!
The team was two players; Johnson and Smith. Other than them, the rest could probably jump ship. Poor coverage and broken tackles; plenty of blips. And a 31-21 defeat; 0-16 attached to their hips.
But let me be clear who is to blame. It is Ford who carries that flame. Until he sells the team, he can proudly claim That he is the worst owner in the game!
The message here is clear; William Clay Ford is directly responsible for the debacle that is the Lions. He needs to sell this team now; wtf was he thinking promoting Mayhew (a Matt Millen cronie) to GM? If Millen was his mentor, he'll stink, too! And not hiring a guy like Parcells to at least mentor Mayhew; Ford is pure genius! It's a shame that the only way this sorry team will improve is if a really bad thing happens to Ford, but it seems like that is the only way it will happen.
In an aside, I applaud Rod Marinelli; I have been his most vocal critic on these blogs, but he handled himself with class and diginity, and I hope that some team will hire him to be an assistant coach; he did the best with a no-win (literally) situation. And shame to the Detroit Lions, especially Ford. You deserve having your car company on the rocks, and scant support of "your football team". You really f####ng ####!
As the title of this post states, I'm here to shamelessly promote my new website, which, unfortunately had to be created without the use of money. Ah, I love my family; always looking to not spend a dollar! Anyhow, it's called, appropriately enough, "David Downs' Pro Basketball Zone", and the address is www.downsproball.weebly.com (I said I was cheap, so take that into consideration). Once there, you'll be bombarded by stats such as:
Each NBA and ABA regular season standings and every postseason game result Yearly and Career statistics leaders Every All-NBA and All-ABA 1st team A history section with all the useless stuff I included about the NBA Stock market tips... wait, never mind about that
I've also included a blog section devoted exclusively to basketball, and a page where I will profile past NBA greats periodically. Boy, isn't fun to know that I don't have any kind of dating life?
Back on topic: I just published the site, so if you have spare time, or you also don't date very much, or you just want a stats-filled version of my drivel, check out the site. (I'll be surprised if anybody replies to this post.)
Seeing as Thanksgiving, the day to stuff yourself full of turkey (or, as John Madden calls it, Thursday), is tomorrow, and I haven't done a list in some time, and I have some free time, and I just wrote the world's longest run-on sentence, let's go through a list of the ten things I'm most thankful for:
10. I'm thankful for the Detroit Pistons and specifically Joe Dumars: Yeah, I make fun of their coach, Michael Curry (just say it a few times and realize how ridiculous it sounds), and I question their heart, but at the same time, they usually win. Which is more than I can say about some other teams. Dumars is one of the best execs in the NBA for a reason; unlike fellow backcourt mate Isiah Thomas, Dumars didn't go willy nilly with cash to sign big-name, bad-teammate players (Starbury says it all); he traded Grant Hill at the peak of his value, and literally stole Ben Wallace for spare parts. The same for Rasheed in 2004. Dumars is a keeper, for sure.
9. I was thankful for Matt Millen: Without him, I wouldn't have had comedy material for nearly two years. Thanks, Matty! Maybe FOX will hire you back in the booth. Or not.
8. I'm thankful for Stephen A. Smith's mouth: (shifts to Smith mode) BECAUSE HE MAKES ME FEEL SMARTER! SLAVA MEDVEDENKO!
7. I'm thankful for half of Mike Illitch: As owner of the Red Wings, Illitch has built the ideal hockey franchise, and has taken a team from the depths of despair to four Stanley Cups during his tenure. Now, if only he could channel that for the Tigers...
6. I'm thankful for the Madden video games: Once you mute the commentary, the game itself is great. There's only one rule that I follow; never, under any circumstances, play as the Lions! Oh, I almost forgot; never play Franchise mode as Matt Millen (ZING! I knew I could find a Millen joke there!).
5. I'm thankful that I can mock other sportscasters: I've skewered Smith and Madden here, but I skewer other people too: Tony Kornhieser (little Madden), Skip Baseless, er, Bayless, Chris Berman, Kenny Mayne, etc. I'd go on, but (in Berman mode) I...DON'T...WANT...TO...GO...ALL...THE...WAY!!! The end.
4. I'm thankful I can mock sports channel lineups: The posterchild; ESPN Classic. Or, as it is now known, the 24-hour boxing, bowling, pool, poker and car auctions network! I'd rather watch when NBA TV or NFL Network shows a classic game; Classic should do what NFL Network does and show the game virtually unedited for time. That would be cool. But then again, how would some unknown fight from Showtime in 2006 get its due? Sike!
3. I'm thankful for being able to do this list: And I'm also grateful to anyone who reads it. Thanks to anybody who can tolerate this drivel and have fun doing it.
2. I'm thankful for the troops: I can have some bad days in my life, but I know that the troops overseas have it much rougher than I do. They have a truly hellacious job, and their courage and patriotism are unmatched. God bless all of them, and I earnestly hope you guys and gals come home real soon!
1. I'm thankful for my family and my health: As I said before, life can get rough. And though my dating life absolutely stinks, my immediate family is a huge comforting factor for me; my dad recently returned from upper Michigan, and it's fun to have him back (except when he sings). My aunt is only six years older than I am, so we relate very well and can confide any secrets we have to each other. And my grandmother, who recently turned 70, is the most caring individual I've ever seen; it's a shame they don't give medals for her kindness. And a special thanks to all the doctors who, in the past five years, took me from near death with pancreatitis to being almost normal (except for the bald patch on the back of my head, but that's a minor quibble); you guys are amazing!
Thanks again to everyone who reads this, and to everyone on the FOX blogs, have a safe and happy Thanksgivimg! Now, I must prepare for the Lions game I'm going to tomorrow; the key word for the game is "DUCK!"
Today marks my second anniversary of the day I decided to unleash my cynicism on these blogs. Yes, November 23rd, 2006, I signed up for this blog, and I remember the first post well. It was about the NFL, and it invloved the Thanksgiving day games.
That night, I wrote that the NFL should consider changing its lineup for the Turkey day games. At the time, the Cowboys were not playing spectacularly, the third NFL Network game featured the Colts destroying the Vick-less Falcons, and the Lions were, well, the Lions. They were the feature of my post, as I said they should not have a mandatory game on national TV when they lost frequently. The next day (which was Thanksgiving), Joey Harrington and the Dolphins ripped them, and the Lions showed no class by playing Billy Joel in mock of Harrington and singled him out for intro just so fans could boo.
Well, two years later, things haven't changed. And now, even the major sports networks agree with me. Today, Mike Ditka put the entire NFL in the doghouse for continuing to allow the Lions to dirty up Turkey day. So, the question I have is the same one I asked two years ago; should the Lions be removed from Thanksgiving?
The answer, in my opinion, is the same; yes, they should! Why would the NFL want to 'showcase' an 0-10 (soon to be 0-11) team? And against a team (Tennessee) who could be 11-0 that same day? It's a frickin' massacre waiting to happen! I don't want to see that! Give me a game with meaning. Please, not the Lions!
And this isn't my bias against the Losers, er, Lions here; the NFL shoud want to have the best matchups they can muster here. There's an easy solution to this problem; flex the Thanksgiving matchup! Here's how you do it; the week before the games, if (or should I say when) the Lions stink, you tell a better matchup (call the two teams therein) and say "You're playing on Thursday". This gives you enough time to save Thanksgiving.
It seems ironic that I celebrate two years by doing the story I wrote on that first night here. But, as the title says, some things never change. The sky is always blue, the taxes have to be paid, and the Lions will lose a lot. Until the Fords (who apparently can't run any franchise) get serious about this team, they'll remain a disgrace to the league. And, to recall my first title post, there are too many turkeys on Thankgiving, and that shouldn't be the case. It's time for a change.
There really hasn't been much going on in the world of sports that would inspire me to write a full post on them, so to shake off some rust, I'll just run off some questions that have eaten at my mind recently:
1. Can the Lions go 0-16!: The short answer is "yes". Their schedule (including home games with the Redskins, Titans, Bucs, Saints, Jaguars and Vikings that I, unfortunately, have tickets for) is brutal, and they have little left to play for; the coach is a goner, the GM is already gone, and many players may not be here in 2009. And I say "Please tank this year!", if only for a few laughs.
2. Was yesterday's Lakers/Bobcats preseason game really bad, or was it me?: Maybe it was good Kobe sat out with his knee injury; that game was disgusting to watch. Fortunately, it's only preseason, but I think that all sports leagues should reduce preseason games and rates charged, so that fans who normally can't afford it can go to a game.
3. Has anybody else gotten tired of the Cowboys-palooza?: First, it was perennial troublemaker TO. Then, it was perennial troublemaker Pacman. Then, it was the non-stop Tony Romo injury coverage. Then, it was the "should Wade go?" stuff. Now, it's Wade taking over as defensive playcaller. Enough, already!
4. Speaking of, what about Brady?: I heard so much about Brady's complications from his ACL surgery, that I think I could perform the surgery myself! Look, I know Brady has won three Super Bowl and dates a supermodel, but that doesn't mean I need to know every angle about his surgery. Enough!
5. Is Manny Ramirez worth $27.5 million?: No. Nobody really is. Only in baseball can we discuss this with a straight face, and Manny wants six years, which would make him 42 when the deal ends. Um, Manny, you better settle for three years max, because you won't be productive at 42.
6. Will I win in any of my fantasy basketball leagues?: Of course I will! If you go into a fantasy league thinking you'll fail, you'll, well, fail. Look out to all three leagues!
Well, that's it for the questions! Hopefully, I have some better material after I attend the Lions-Redskins bloodletting, er, game! Take care!
It's been awhile since I blogged on the old Fox blog, so I'll break that today with some random sports thoughts. Here goes!:
The Patriots destroyed the Broncos yesterday. And honestly, after that performance, I can say that... the Pats still aren't that good. Matt "Jon Kitna" Cassel went down faster than the stock market early in that game. Not a good sign.
The Bronco defense had more holes than swiss cheese last night. Apparently, they took tackling lessons from the Lions, since their 73% completion rate would top the old record (70% by last year's Lions). Shameful.
The 49ers fired Mike Nolan after a 2-5 start and hired Mike Singletary. Can he still play D?
Speaking of which; Nolan's canning was the third during this season alone. Why is that significant? Because Herman Edwards and Rod Marinelli still have their jobs with less wins than Nolan! Wtf!?
Big time PGs Baron Davis, Steve Nash and Deron Williams have suffered injuries in the preseason. On Nash, it was bound to happen. It's called the "curse of Shaq"! Or could it really be the "curse of getting old"?!
Pacman Jones entered a alcohol rehab center. With Jones, the old cliche "less is more" applys; the less production, the more we talk about him.
The dramatic Rays-Phillies series begins. This is about as exciting as watching a documentary on gingivitis, isn't it, Rick Reilly?
Did you see that umpire tackle South Carolina QB Stephen Garcia in the SC-LSU game? Sign him up for the Lions!
Is it me, or does "1st and Ten" suddenly seem tolerable without Skip Bayless? Of course, Screaming A. Smith is there just to keep things irritating until Skip comes back, so nothing has changed.
According to the News & Globe (Toronto; I hope I'm attributing right), the NHL is talking about adding a second Toronto team. Sure; like Canada likes keeping their teams, anyway. Two words, Toronto; Vancouver Grizzlies!
Finally: I enjoyed seeing Chris Berman say he's "disgusted" after the Mike Nolan firing. Wasn't that the most original thing Boomer has said in more than twenty years?
Well, that's all the randomness for now! Until next time, may you have a boss like William Clay Ford; one who will never fire you, regardless of your bad judgment! Take care!
As I woke up this morning, I had all the intention in the world to write a post about Rod Marinelli and why he should be fired. After writing two posts yesterday, I deemed it unnecessary to write a third. However, the events of recent days have made me decide to put aside that post and write one completely from the heart. Be forewarned; this might not be pretty, and it might upset some people, but I MUST write it.
Lately, there has been a concerted attempt by the site managers to 'gag' members and prevent them from being seen among the most commented blogs on this site. Personally, I haven't run afoul of the administrators yet, because I have been careful not to say anything directly hurtful or what they wouldn't like. I just don't like when hatred and bias comes into play, and that's where I make my stand.
Many of these 'offenders' are blogger friends of mine, such as gambit, SRM, Nique and Jokerswild. Look, I could understand if they had come out and said "I hope (said figure) would pass away!", but what exactly have these bloggers done wrong? I read all of their work every time they post and I log on, and I can say, without exception, that nothing I read was intentionally hurtful or biased in a negative way towards anybody! Joker does a political post, and it gets gagged. I'm sorry, but that's a load of ####! He wasn't advocating for a revolution! He simply stated his views, and that's bad. Bull!
And now, you're making these very talented people leave for other sites that don't have the restrictions placed upon them. That really sucks (forget the ####!)! I have to chase to keep up with my friends like gambit and SRM simply because you have a problem with something they said! And your tech support sure doesn't offer much support; I tried to figure out why my Youtube video didn't play in one since-deleted post, and all I got was the same message TWICE saying "We know your problem; we'll fix it" essentially! Wow! Thanks!
I don't want to make war, but this borders on old-fashioned communism. Restricting speech you deem offensive because you don't like them! Hell, Oliver Stone is about to release a George W. Bush film that ridicules him, and I don't see Bush saying "Ban it!". In a strange way, you acting just like Marinelli; he realizes the problem before him, but he chooses to do nothing to because he is too cowardly to confront and fix the problem! You are better than that, Fox, and I really feel sorry for those who have been gagged.
With that in mind, I'm going to ask anybody who is leaving/has left this site who likes me to try and keep up with me. I won't say that I'm leaving, but I will go where my friends are. I have a new blog up on "THE Blog" sponsored before I was there, and I'll contribute there and here. And to those I mentioned by name; if indeed you guys are through here, you can send me e-mails at davidadowns@msn.com. Thank you, and, to close, I make this earnest plea; reinstate these bloggers and be more open to other opinions. Because, as Marinelli will find out soon, not being cognizant of problems will eventually be your downfall.
Here comes another batch of my musings from around the wide world of sports (thanks, ABC!). It's time for more Random Sports Thoughts!
The Cubs lost 10-3 yesterday night. That's sad. Now pass me some more billygoat-black cat-Bartman stew!
It's just too bad that the Cubs or Brewers aren't playing in Arizona. After all, they're used to big holes.
Speaking of the Brewers, C.C. Sabathia finally ran out of gas. Now the know-it-alls are complaning that he's not money in the playoffs. Funny; it never stopped A-Rod from buying seventeen countries.
The Rays won their first ever playoff game. Let that be a lesson to all pro teams; the Houstons Rockets-lose a lot-get high picks strategy does work!
I've got a fantasy basketball league on Yahoo.com. I need ten more owners, so if you're interested (about one person), the league name is DDFBL, the league ID is 41368, and the password is nbapistons (yeah, I know that will turn off some, but I'm from Detroit, so I couldn't realistically do nbalakers!).
How come the NHL season starts before the NBA season? Makes absolutely no sense to me.
Tommie Harris of the Bears was suspended for the game against the Lions for violating team rules. The Bears got sad for a second... then remembered they're playing the Lions, and laughed.
I'll be at Ford Field for that game Sunday (insert groans, laughter and dismay here).
Chad Ocho Cinco said he ought to start drinking and acting a fool, since the Bengals won that way. Funny; didn't he act up without enhancers?
Chad also said he'd kiss the Dallas Cowboys star after he scored a touchdown Sunday. Never mind he's only scored once this year, and Carson Palmer may not play. I'm glad Chad's here, so I can make fun of him and his sorry #### team!
Wait, I just heard a Cubs fan scream and curse. Heard it a lot from near my house last night; damn drunks!
New Pistons coach Michael Curry said he liked what he saw from his team at their first practice yesterday. Never mind how funny it sounds to say "Pistons coach Michael Curry"; he already sounds like Rod Marinelli! Next thing you know, he'll say after a loss "We just need to practice harder and play better"!
Phil Jackson shaved his 'stache, while Gregg Popovich returned from his Mormon pligrimage with a mountain-man look. I didn't know Ulysses S. Grant coached the Spurs, and Alex Trebek the Lakers!
Saw parts of Pete Maravich's 69-point game from 1977 against the Knicks on NBA TV. See; even in the past, the Knicks played no defense!
Sam Bowie, er, Greg Oden, tweaked his ankle and was held out of practice. At least Michael Jordan wasn't in this draft. (Sorry, Orman, if you're looking at this later!)
Finally, Cedric Benson signed with the Bengals recently. Perfect place for a player with legal troubles, isn't it, Chad?
Yesterday certainly showed that professional sports owners can be quirky people. For those who haven't paid attention to the bizzarro world of Oakland, Raiders owner/coach/GM/disaster-creator Al Davis canned coach Lane Kiffin in such a public display of acrimony that you half expected mafia hitmen to shoot Kiffin on the spot after Davis held a fiery news conference where he called Kiffin a "liar" and showed a four-page letter 'proving' that he warned Kiffin to stop the lies.
I don't know who is right here, but my opinion is that Davis, not Kiffin, is the biggest reason the Raiders stink. And after thinking about it for awhile last night, I decided to do a list of other owners who share Davis' (and Eric Bischoff's) belief that 'controversy creates cash'. Only, in this case, controversy creates... losing. Here are the top ten masters of that craft (and a return to a traditional "My List". Yay!):
10. Michael Heisley, Memphis Grizzlies: Not many people outside of Memphis know who Heisley is. But the Grizzlies have stunk for the last two years (44-120). The kicker? He felt that Pau Gasol for Kwame Brown was a good deal. Enough said.
9. Disney, Anaheim Ducks and ESPN: The company of Mickey Mouse is here for two reasons. First off, their ownership of the then-Mighty Ducks was spotty at best, and eveytime I thought about the team, I though Emilio Estevez was their coach! Is it a coincidence that the Ducks won the Stanley Cup after they sold the team? Then, of course, the way that ESPN has de-evolved in recent years since Disney assumed command needs no intro. If you hire Stephen A. Smith, you're not smart, period!
8. Wayne Huizenga, Dolphins and Marlins: Before you throw your Blockbuster rental at me, consider how haphazardly Huizenga ran two teams. The Dolphins have never made a Super Bowl since he became owner, and he treated the Marlins like a rental by destroying the team after their World Series win in 1997, simply so he could sell to the highest bidder. Simply put, I've seen used Kleenex treated better than those two teams have been under his watch.
7. Pittsburgh Pirates ownership: The reason I don't put the name of the current leader of the board of directors here (btw, his name is Bob Nutting) is because he's been on the job for only two years. The previous management was inept, to say the least. Hell, the last time the team made the playoffs, a pre-steroids Barry Bonds couldn't throw out Sid Bream and keep Atlanta out of the Series (that was 1992)! They haven't developed any cohesive strategy, and that's why their streak of losing seasons will be the longest in MLB history.
6. Al Davis, Raiders: The only reason Davis isn't higher is that, at one time, he was among the brightest minds in the NFL. Now, he's a dinosaur who still thinks that the old Raiders principals (throw it deep) work today. His handling of the Kiffin fiasco was a joke, and he hamstrings any potential coach by hiring the asistants! Even Jerry Jones isn't that meddling with the Cowboys! davis needs to step aside and enjoy retirement, for the sake of the Raiders going forward.
5. Bill Bidwell, Cardinals: The Cardinals are among the symbols for extended failure in the NFL; since Bill became the head of the team in the mid-60s, the team has moved out once, won only two division titles, and boast but one playoff win since their last title in 1947! Even the Lions have won titles during that span! Call it the curse of the Pottsville Maroons, if you will (btw, there's an excellent book on how that team was shafted out of the title); I call it bad ownership. Bid-fareWell, Billy!
4. Mike Brown, Bengals: Now we get to the heart of the inept; Brown, whose father Paul built the Browns into a power, then made Cincy a solid team, has been far less successful since taking over in 1991. The Bengals have just one winning season since then, and Brown has been his own worst enemy. The coaching hires (David Shula, anyone?) haven't been good, and the draft picks have been spotty at best (Ki-Jana Carter, Dan Wilkinson, etc.). Worse yet, the team has become an episode of Cops; there have been so many arrests in Cincy, I haven't even bothered to count. That's because the Bengals have the league's smallest scouting department, and boy does it shows the leaks! No oversight creates a mess, and Brown seems too cheap to correct it, so let the embarassment continue!
3. James Dolan, Knicks: Dolan is the head of the Cablevision group that owns the Knicks, and as the de-facto owner, the Knicks have been terrible. One hire says all you need to know about why he's here; Isiah Thomas. Worse still, he stuck by Thomas and allowed him to give out those ridiculous contratcs (Stephon "The Walking Advertsiment for Bad Deals" Marbury, Jerome James, etc.) that will continue to plague New York for at least the next three to five years. When you enable as much as Dolan has, you derserve to fail.
2. William Clay Ford, Lions: Speaking of enabling, Ford is the Dolan of the NFL; he too made a major mistake by hiring (and then sticking by until it was too late) Matt Millen. Since he became majority owner in 1964, the Lions boast just three division titles, one playoff win, and zero Super Bowl/NFL Championship appearences. In that same span, the Buccaneers, Seahawks, and Panthers have made the Super Bowl, and they weren't in the league in 1964! He's too nice and won't fire anybody until the uproar is too loud (Millen and Darryl Rogers stand out). To borrow and modify a catchphrase, think Ford last! Except...
1. Donald Sterling, Clippers: ... there is one man who is the cubic zirconia of the sports world. A man who, when faced with the chance of victory, instead prefers defeat. A man who has gleefully moved his team to become an afterthought to the Lakers in L.A. A man who has kept Elgin Baylor on for more than two decades! That's right; the Donald is #1! And Sterling figured out the dirty rule of sports long before the other nine did; he realized "Hey! I can put zero effort to build a winner, make the profits, and go home happy!". He actually is smarter than all of us, because he knows people will pay to see his product, no matter how few it actually is. And the results (one playoff series win; only two winning seasons since 1980-81) speak for themselves. Sterling is the standard by which all inept owners should be measured!
There's my top ten. Are there any owners you think that do a worse job than these guys have! There's probably at least one or two I may have missed! Let me know if I have made an error. Until next time, may Tom Cable (the new Raiders coach) rent rather than buy!
It's time once again to sort out some loose junk in my head. It's time for Random Sports Thoughts (otherwise known as "Stuff I write when a really good topic isn't available/is written ad nauseum")!
The most talked about item clearly is USC losing to Oregon State 27-21. On the positive side, at least ESPN won't devote segments of their show to a hypothetical USC/St. Louis Rams matchup, huh?
Btw, doesn't this game show why college football needs a playoff? And, in another irony, it will also show why CFB won't do it; they love negative press more than TO!
Monta Ellis admitted he crashed and burned on a Moped to cause his ankle injury. Why should we be surprised? His adviser was Kellen Winslow Jr.!
Stephon "The Walking Advertisment for Bad Deals" Marbury said he will not accept any buyout from the Knicks and that "they're gonna pay me my money". That should quash all those 'rumors' that he is a bad teammate.
The baseball races are really heating up. The battle between the White Sox and Twins for the Central, The NL wild card, the Tigers' quest for last place...
Dustin Perdroia for AL MVP? Sorry, Sox fans; the MVP of the American League should be... chosen from a hat if that's the case.
The Lions fired Matt Millen. I'd just like to repeat that because it sounds vaguely important. The Lions fired Matt Millen. It just SOUNDS good, doesn't it?
Now, if they could only dump Kitna and Marinelli, they'd be onto something.
Kevin Garnett is the face of NBA 2K9. As long as he doesn't scream in the game, we should be fine.
Hank Steinbrenner is crying about Joe Torre's Dodgers making the playoffs and his Yankees staying home. Maybe you should hire him. Oh wait...
Then again, poppa George hired (and fired) Billy Martin 76 times, so maybe, eh, no.
Todd Jones will retire from the Tigers. Somewhere, I yawned.
Did you see Kimbo Slice interviewed on PTI yesterday? That had more BLEEP bombs than an Ozzy Osborne concert!
One more of these; the Chiefs are thinking about starting Damon Huard this week. In a related story, they've called Len Dawson and Steve DeBerg asking if they're available!
That's all the random junk for today! Hope you enjoy it! And I hope that the animosity hinted at earlier in the post dies down. Take care! (Damn; can't stop using exclamation marks!!!!)
Today, the clouds finally disappeared. The suns drenched Ford Field in downtown Detroit, almost as if a heavenly event had occured. Indeed, such an event did occur for long suffering Lions fans, as the most inept GM this side of Elgin Baylor has apparently resigned. That's right; Matt Millen is finished in Detroit!
So, to 'honor' Millen in only the best way I know how (to completely ridicule and belittle him), and to get some more Millen jokes in before they're gone, I dug up some of my archived post material to send him out in style! Here we go!
From “Whose to blame for Lions’ Woes”, November 23, 2006: Today, in another display of Thanksgiving ineptitude, the Detroit Lions lost to Miami 27-10 as Joey Harrington burned his former team for 3 TDs. During the game, frustrated fans started a familiar chant of "Fire Millen!" in reference to the embattled president of the ball club. As a lifelong Detroit resident, lets put things in perspective. Yes, Millen's record as the prez is terrible (23-68 after today) and yes he did draft badly (Harrington, Charles Rogers, Mike Williams) but lets say he is fired after the season. Then what? I say when things are always bad, you must look at the top, which means you must look at the Fords in charge. That family has owned the franchise for 42 years now, and exactly how many titles have they won? Zero! And the team has just one playoff win in those years to boot. They've hired too many coaches to count, and they hired Millen despite having no experience as a executive and have allowed his reign of terror to continue into a sixth season.
(commentary on above: I blame the Fords here, but this was just my second post, so I wasn't in full bash-Millen mode yet!)
From “My List: Top Ten Worst Player-to-Executive Transitions”, March 2008: 1. Matt Millen: Millen is the posterchild for any team looking at ex-jocks on TV and thinking about hiring them to run the team. In short, don't believe the packaging! Millen has the worst record of any executive in the NFL over his tenure, and the Lions, who had a winning record before he arrived, have been no better than 7-9 over his tenure. His draft picks (Joey Harrington, Charles Rogers, Mike Williams, and now Kevin Jones) have tanked, his free agents have stank, and fans have been on the verge of mutiny in recent years. Millen may not have techincally been a star athlete, but his name must be included on any list of former players who haven't been good GMs/coaches.
(Now I was in stride, though my Millen jokes were featured in comments on other blogs, as you will see!)
From “Beating a Disgusting Dead Horse”: September 8, 2008: You may notice that I have not mentioned Millen much. That's because this perpetually inept franchise will NEVER fire him! And being a season ticket holder (just so I can spread the fire to a public audience), the Lions fans deserve better. Unfortunately, they will never get it as long as William Clay Ford and Millen run the team. So, now that the Lions are underway to another 10-loss season, I will continue to rip them at every opportunity. Because it's readily apparent that this team needs a front office overhaul, and until that happens, the digusting dead horse will continue to ride! Gotta go; the effigy is being set on fire!
(I guess I was right; he wasn't fired, though Bill Ford Jr. probably 'nudged' him to resign!)
A Response to Jokerswild’s blog about pep talk phrases: “Momma, don’t let your boys grow up to be Matt Millen!”
(Isn't it true? Look at the failure he is!)
From “A Petition for Common Sense: Sign Up En Masse”: September 15, 2008: This is a request to remove Matt "He Falls Splat" Millen as the general manager of the Lions. Mr. Millen has been found guilty of many high crimes while in charge of the Lions, such as;
1) Willingly engaging in unrelenting losing, and then blaming everyone else for his own failures.
2) Making mind-numbingly bad draft pick one after another (Charles Rogers, Mike Williams, Kevin Jones, etc.) and bad reaches when desperate (Gosder Cherlius).
3) Having an obsession with coaches who start with "m" (Marty Morhinweg (whatever his name was), Steve Mariucci, Rod "Gutless" Marinelli) and who shouldn't be head men in the first place.
4) Impersonating an NFL GM. Do I really need to say more?
5) And even you, Mr. Ford, are guilty of high crimes; you allowed all of this to occur without any attempt to stop it.
The most recent disaster occured Sunday at Ford Field against the Packers. Following the embarassment in Atlanta, the team continued to stink, as the Packers rolled to a 21-0 lead. Your offense was inept, the defense even worse, and the crowd began to serenade them with the "Fire Millen" chant. Things looked grim.
Then, in the 3rd quarter, the team had new life. Jon Kitna hit Calvin Johnson for two TDs, and the Lions led 25-24. Alas, they soon realized they were run by Mr. Millen, and the Pack rolled to 24 unanswered points to win 48-25, as Kitna threw 3 INTs (two returned for TDs) in the final five drives of the game. One of the fans even cursed out linebacker Alex Lewis after the game ended.
If you want to avoid having your team treated with antipathy and apathy, you must wake up and realize Mr. Millen isn't good as his job at all. Your team is a laughing stock of the NFL, and has the worst record in the league since Millen took over before the 2001 season. Even Al Davis is laughing at you. Do you honestly think that perennial losing will placate fans who haven't seen a winner since Wayne Fontes and Barry Sanders were in town? Hardly.
In summation, Mr. Millen should be sent out to pasture; I wouldn't even give him his old job at Fox after this disaster. Fire Mr. Millen, and at the very least hire some competent football people. Or, if you don't want to, sell the team. The lame efforts this team has given the suffering fans must come to an end, or else we'll call Clay Bennett and ask "Think Oklahoma City can support football?".
Sincerely, long suffering Lions fans and their supporters at Fox blogs
(See, bloggers? You can make a difference!)
From “Thank You, Captain Obvious”: Yesterday: With that Donald Sterling-esque resume (William Clay Ford’s), you legitimately question his desire to win. As so many Lions bashers from Detroit have said (and to all those bashers, I'm with you 100%, so don't blaze me!), the Lions have become a business. In the NBA, Sterling figured this out years ago; he said "Hey, why invest in a winner? If I can keep costs low and incompetence high, I can rake in the cash and go home!". The common thread with these teams; neither owner ever wants to fire the GM. Sterling needs Elgin Baylor to carry out his master plan, and Ford needs Millen to do the same.
(More Ford and Millen bashing. Little did I know this would be the final bash with Millen in charge)
There's my tribute. A poignant commentary to a sad sack loser o####M. Now the Lions need to find a real football man to run this team. And I emphasize "man", because the 'boys' who have run this team into the ground must go. While I don't believe they'll hire the right kind of guy, change is necessary, and Millen was just taking the life out of the Lions. Now, all together now:
"nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah nah, oh hell yeah, gooodbyeee!"
With all the anger going around about the Josh Howard disrespecting the anthem fiasco, I decided to take a more light-hearted (but still scathing) approach to descirbing my feelings towards Howard's actions. With further ado, here come the BoreStars!
BoreStars Episode 3: A Real American
Flasback scene (cue voiceover guy): When we last left our BoreStars, they had just defeated the monsterous Ted Thompson and Aaron Rodgers with the help of Brett Favre. Now, in today's episode, Tim Duncan, Roger Federer and David Beckham race to stop a nefarious evil that threatens to destroy America!
Title Music (cue band): BOREEEEESTARSSSSS!
(montage of a rare Beckham score): Beckham scores more than you know! BORESTARS!
(montage of Federer winning the U.S. Open): Federer weaves; viewers leave! BORESTARS!
(montage of Duncan's bankshot): Duncan wins; the NBA cringes! BORESTARS!
BoreStars! We put the 'bore' into immeasurable boredom!
Scene one: The Stars are waiting for their next assignment at their lair, where no one notices them; the Memphis Grizzlies arena!
Duncan: I hope we can get another case in before the NBA season starts. I need to do what I've done for 10 years; be myself and make SA a contender.
Federer: Me, I'm glad I'm not active. Between losing to Nadal and people thinking I got the easy way out at the U.S. Open, I need a break.
(Beckham returns, looking obviously drunk)
Duncan: What the hell did you do last night?
Beckham: I clebrted yessterday. The Galxy scoreddddd more than too goals!
Duncan & Federer: Great! (laugh to themselves)
(Just after that, Michael Jordan appears to give them an assignment)
Jordan: BoreStars, I need you to go to Dallas and investigate reports of unrest against the country.
Duncan: Cool! Let's go!
Jordan: But, there's a catch; Brett Favre wants to join you!
Duncan & Federer: Damn!
Beckham: Honest, occifer, I isn't drunk!
Jordan: Just tolerate Brett. With Becks so drunk, you may need him!
Duncan: Alright, let's go.
(The Stars meet up with Favre at the plane, and go down to Dallas)
Scene two: The Stars arrive in Dallas. Just then, Favre starts to waffle.
Duncan: What the matter now, Brett!
Favre: I just get the creeps coming down here; not many fond memories here!
Federer: Well, let's just see what the fuss is about.
(Just then, Josh Howard appears)
Howard: What's up, BoreStars?
Beckham: I ain't upsy. I just be drunk!
Duncan: O.K., just ignore him. Josh, have you heard about the unrest in Dallas? It's worse than the screams in the NBA office when my Spurs reach the Finals!
Howard: I haven't heard anything. Anyhow, I gotta run to the football game!
(Howard leaves)
Beckham: He plays foosball?
Favre: He sounds like he knows more than he's letting on.
Duncan: I agree. What about you, Roger?
(Federer says nothing. He secretly wishes Nadal was behind things.)
Duncan: Let's go to American Airlines Center (sidenote: Since Miami and Dallas share the same sponser, correct me if I'm wrong).
(They depart)
Scene three: The Stars arrive at American Airlines Arena.
Beckham: Isn't this the bar I was at last night?
Duncan: No! Let's scope the place.
(As the Stars search the arena, Mavericks owner Mark Cuban arrives.)
Duncan: Hi, Cuban! Not incurring fines with Stern, are you?
Cuban: No, just trying to figure out how to be more wrong with my team. Maybe I can trade Dirk for Shaq, huh?
Federer: Enough of that. Have you heard about the unrest down here?
Cuban: I have, but I can't put my finger on where it came from.
Favre: Could it be one of your players? I should know better than anyone that players can make situations uncomfortable.
Cuban: Perhaps. I've heard Josh said something bad the other day.
Duncan: Really? That fact never came out from Josh, much like the league never wants to mention my team winning four titles.
(The Stars begin to suspect Howard. Soon, they realize the truth.)
Scene four: After some fact-checking, the Stars confirm the worst; Howard has denounced America and wants to smash everything it stands for! The Stars set out to confront Howard.
Beckham: Do we really need another drink?
Duncan: Becks, just lay low here.
(The Stars dump Beckham onto a soccer field because nobody watches soccer. Then, they confront Howard on the football field.)
Duncan: Alright, Josh; you're under arrest for the good of the country!
Howard: Oh yeah? #### the country and it's ####ty anthem! You won't stop me!
(Howard gets into his attack vehicle, and soon after knocks Federer aside because he can't focus. Duncan and Favre hold back Howard, but they realize they can't do it alone.)
Favre: I'm thinking about retiring again!
Duncan: You better not!
(Just then, an errant beam of light comes through, and strikes Howard's vehicle. It explodes, and Howard falls on his rear and is arrested by Duncan and Favre. The blast comes from Beckham, who doesn't know what happened.)
Duncan: Dave, you did it! You scored a big goal!
Beckham: I scored? Wow, that never happens!
(The Stars return to AAA.)
Scene five: The Stars are met by the Dallas media.
Duncan: Never fear, fair citizens. We stopped the menace that was Josh Howard. (People nod off during his speech).
Federer: Great! Now I can work on beating Nadal.
Favre: It's great getting in my first case! I won't retire until at least next episode!
Beckham (stares at Favre): Victoria!?
(Beckham starts to chase Favre. Duncan and Federer just stare into the sunset.)
Voiceover: Tune in next time for another exciting episode of BoreStars!
Beckham: You can't escpae forever, Victoria!
Favre: AHHHHH!
What Josh Howard did was wrong, and he thoroughly disrepected many soldiers dying in Iraq and around the world for his right to say moronic things. While little can be done to stop his career (since it's obvious that Howard would land elsewhere if Dallas cut him), he can't evade the bad press he'll get for the time to come. And that can be a fate worse than death for many athletes (right, Latrell Sprewell?).
Well, time is running short. Hope you enjoy it, and until next time, may Howard be cursed to a terrible fate; playing for Matt Millen!
Well, the sports week has certainly been interesting so far, and we've barely gotten started! But, as far as I'm concerned, none of the topics stood out enough to warrant a full post to it. So, here comes some more random thoughts!
Tom Brady's season is over. But then again, so is the Detroit Lions, so he's not alone.
Speaking of the Pats, Matt Cassel is now in the saddle. Maybe he can get some tips on replacing a preferred QB from Steve Young, not Brian Griese.
I'm going to the Losers, er, Lions game against the Packers this weekend. Estimated time before first boos rain on them; I'll say right before kickoff.
Man, there hasn't been a Kobe-bashing blog in what seems like an eternity. Where are the venom-spewers? (Nique, I don't support them; it's just livelier when they're here)
Charlie Weis is getting some heat by saying "To hell with Michigan". Why? Michigan will find a way to lose, anyhow (Yeah, Rich Rodriguez, you can use that on the board, too!).
Michelle Wie is going back to qualifying school. Or is it clown college? Any way you slice it, she's in trouble.
Lance Armstrong will come back for the 2009 Tour de Farce, er, France. Brett Favre suddenly has a new best buddy.
Not to go off topic, but regarding the MTV Music Awards thingy, I have one question; who the #### is Russell Brand?!?!
Back on topic; Tigers manager Jim Leyland blasted the bullpen in general (and Fernando Rodney in particular) for not pitching well. Thank you, Captain Obvious! When did you first notice? I said it before, and I'll say it again; send the entire pen to Europe to minimize the damage they do here.
ESPN decided to have Mike, Mike and Mike (Greenberg, Golic, and Ditka) at the mic for MNF. How much further can they scrape the barrel for bad gimmicks?
Has NBA TV shown any low-scoring, dull 'classic' games this week? I missed that thrilling 70-69 action!
Speaking of which, NBA TV is going to let voters decide what game will be aired on Tuesdays during the season. I'd say that the Lakers game will win whenever it's featured on Tuesday. Just once, I'd like to see fans pick a Thunder/Grizzlies showdown just for laughs. Make NBA TV work hard for its money!
ESPN Classic = The Worldwide Leader... in boring, non-classic boxing. Enough of this #### already!
And, to end on a sad note; I drove by the remains of the old Tiger Stadium recently. I'll never forgive Mike Illitch, Dennis Archer, and Kwame "Love Machine" Kilpatrick for letting such a great stadium crumble like they did. That's as political as I'll get on my blog.
O.K., let's bring the mood back up before I go. That's the post for today. Until next time, here's a word of advice; Prospectivwe mothers, don't let your babies grow up to be Stephen A. Smith! Take care!
Here are the answers to today's "Stump the Dizzle", er, NBA Trivia Challenge (just kidding, Dizzle, but man do you know your stuff!):
Tier 1 Answers:
1. Who was the last player before Kobe Bryant to win regular season MVP? Answer: Shaquille O'Neal, for the 1999-2000 season.
2. The Lakers' division title last season was their first since what year? Answer: The 2003-04 season, when they went 56-26 and made the Finals.
3. Lamar Odom (everyone's favorite Laker) was one of three players the Lakers got for Shaq in 2004. Who were the other two? Answer: Caron Butler and Brian Grant. Both only lasted one season, as Grant was released, and Butler was traded to Washington for Kwame Brown.
4. Who were the Lakers playing when Kobe scored 81 points? Answer: The Toronto Raptors. Who doesn't remember that game?
5. Who was the only player to play on both the 2000 champs and the 1988 champs? Answer: A.C. Green. The NBA's Iron Man returned in 1999-2000 after leaving the team in 1993.
Tier 2 Answers:
6. What playoff opponent in 1988 allowed James Worthy to record his only career triple-double (bonus point if you give me his stat line)? Answer: The Detroit Pistons. In game 7 of the 1988 Finals, Worthy recorded 36 points, 16 rebounds, and 10 assists as L.A. won 108-105 and claimed their second straight title.
7. When did Pat Riley win his only Coach of the Year award while with the Lakers? Answer: The 1989-90 season. The Lakers won 63 games, but were eliminated in round two by Phoenix, the shortest playoff run by a Riley-led Lakers team. How ironic.
8. Who was offered the coaching job of the Lakers after Paul Westhead was fired in 1981, only to refuse the post? Answer: Jerry West. West, who had coached the team from 1976-79, didn't want to coach again, but he did sit next to new coach Pat Riley early on to ease him into the job.
9. From what team did the Lakers acquire Bob McAdoo on December 25, 1981? Answer: The New Jersey Nets. McAdoo averaged double figures in points in four of his five seasons in L.A. and helped the team win two NBA titles.
10. What current Eastern Conference coach was a reserve on the 1982 championship Lakers? Answer: Eddie Jordan. The Wizards coach spent two full seasons and parts of two others with the Lakers from 1980-84.
Tier 3 Answers:
11. Who did the Minneapolis Lakers beat in their first ever playoff series in 1948-49? Answer: The Chicago Stags. They beat them 2-0, then beat Rochester (now the Sacramento Kings) and the Washington Capitols to win the BAA/NBA title that year.
12. Before Michael Jordan broke it in 1992, Elgin Baylor held the record for most points scored in a half in a Finals game. What was the record, and against whom did he set it? Answer: 33 points against the Celtics in game 5 of the 1962 Finals. The Lakers won at the Garden 125-121 but lost the series in seven.
13. When was the first year that the Los Angeles Lakers won at least 50 games (not including the Minneapolis years)? Answer: The 1961-62 season, when they went 54-26. The Minneapolis club did have a 51-17 record in 1949-50, though.
14. How many times has a Lakers/Celtics Finals gone the full seven games? Answer: Four times; in 1961-62, 1965-66, 1968-69 and 1983-84. Unfortunately for Lakers fans, Boston has won all four times.
15. True or false: Jerry West once led the league in assists? Answer: True. In 1971-72, West led the league with an average of 9.7 APG, one tenth of a point better than runner-up Lenny Wilkens of Seattle.
10-point bonus question
Name the four players the Lakers traded to Milwaukee to acquire Kareem Abdul-Jabbar in 1975. Answer: Elmore Smith, Brian Winters, Dave Meyers and Junior Bridgeman. Only Bridgeman had any true success in Milwaukee, while Kareem won five NBA titles, three league MVPs, and became the all-time leading scorer. What a trade!
Here are the scores from the three people who attempted all 16 questions: Ubershorty: 7 points goTo: 12 1/2 points (I gave half credit for the second question in tier 1) The Dominator, er, J-Dizzle: 36 points (gave out 5 points for getting two of the four playerds right in the bonus question)
And thanks to everyone who did attempt some questions; I'm just not trying to make anybody look and feel bad here. I really do appreciate the effort, and maybe I'll make this more of a bi-weekly thing to save some questions. But anyhow, thanks for playing, and join us next time for more "Stump the DIzzle!".
As I promised yesterday in a comment on another blog, I have some more trivia today. But this time, I'm formatting it a bit differently. After receiving some grief that my trivia was a bit too far back in time, I decided to have tiers of trivia worth varying degrees of points. The beginning tier is some 'easy' questions worth 1 point each, the second tier is a bit harder and worth 3 points each, and the top tier is harder trivia and worth 5 points each. There will also be a 10 point bonus question that will really put the head to work! To ease into this realm, I picked a category many are familiar with. Here goes!
Category: Los Angeles Lakers history
Tier 1: 1. Who was the last Laker before Kobe Bryant to win regular season MVP? 2. The Lakers' division title this past season was their first since what year? 3. Lamar Odom (everyone's favorite Laker) was one of three players the Lakers got for Shaq in 2004. Who were the other two? 4. Who did the Lakers play when Kobe scored 81 points? 5. Who was the only Laker to play on both the 2000 champs and the 1988 champs?
Tier 2: 6. Against what playoff opponent in 1988 did James Worthy record his only career triple-double (bonus point if you give me his stat line)? 7. In what season did Pat Riley win his only Coach of the Year award while coaching the Lakers? 8. Who was offered the Lakers' coaching position after Paul Westhead was fired in 1981, but refused? 9. From what team did the Lakers acquire Bob McAdoo on Decmber 25, 1981? 10. What current Eastern Conference coach was a backup on the Lakers 1982 championship team?
Tier 3: 11. Who did the Minneapolis Lakers beat in their first ever playoff series in 1948-49? 12. Before Michael Jordan broke it in 1992, Elgin Baylor held the record for most points scored in a half in an NBA Finals game. What was the record, and against whom did he set it against? 13. What season did the Los Angeles Lakers first win over 50 games (I emphasize, it does not include the Minneapolis years)? 14. How many times has a Lakers/Celtics Finals gone the full seven games? 15. True or false: Jerry West once led the league in assists?
10-point bonus question: Name the four players the Lakers traded to Milwaukee to acquire Kareem Abdul-Jabbar in 1975.
Well, that's the trivia for today. Hopefully, we'll get some more participants, but anyone who tries is welcome; it's not like I'll judge you whether you score good or not. This is just for fun! Take care!
