Today, the clouds finally disappeared. The suns drenched Ford Field in downtown Detroit, almost as if a heavenly event had occured. Indeed, such an event did occur for long suffering Lions fans, as the most inept GM this side of Elgin Baylor has apparently resigned. That's right; Matt Millen is finished in Detroit!
So, to 'honor' Millen in only the best way I know how (to completely ridicule and belittle him), and to get some more Millen jokes in before they're gone, I dug up some of my archived post material to send him out in style! Here we go!
From “Whose to blame for Lions’ Woes”, November 23, 2006: Today, in another display of Thanksgiving ineptitude, the Detroit Lions lost to Miami 27-10 as Joey Harrington burned his former team for 3 TDs. During the game, frustrated fans started a familiar chant of "Fire Millen!" in reference to the embattled president of the ball club. As a lifelong Detroit resident, lets put things in perspective. Yes, Millen's record as the prez is terrible (23-68 after today) and yes he did draft badly (Harrington, Charles Rogers, Mike Williams) but lets say he is fired after the season. Then what? I say when things are always bad, you must look at the top, which means you must look at the Fords in charge. That family has owned the franchise for 42 years now, and exactly how many titles have they won? Zero! And the team has just one playoff win in those years to boot. They've hired too many coaches to count, and they hired Millen despite having no experience as a executive and have allowed his reign of terror to continue into a sixth season.
(commentary on above: I blame the Fords here, but this was just my second post, so I wasn't in full bash-Millen mode yet!)
From “My List: Top Ten Worst Player-to-Executive Transitions”, March 2008: 1. Matt Millen: Millen is the posterchild for any team looking at ex-jocks on TV and thinking about hiring them to run the team. In short, don't believe the packaging! Millen has the worst record of any executive in the NFL over his tenure, and the Lions, who had a winning record before he arrived, have been no better than 7-9 over his tenure. His draft picks (Joey Harrington, Charles Rogers, Mike Williams, and now Kevin Jones) have tanked, his free agents have stank, and fans have been on the verge of mutiny in recent years. Millen may not have techincally been a star athlete, but his name must be included on any list of former players who haven't been good GMs/coaches.
(Now I was in stride, though my Millen jokes were featured in comments on other blogs, as you will see!)
From “Beating a Disgusting Dead Horse”: September 8, 2008: You may notice that I have not mentioned Millen much. That's because this perpetually inept franchise will NEVER fire him! And being a season ticket holder (just so I can spread the fire to a public audience), the Lions fans deserve better. Unfortunately, they will never get it as long as William Clay Ford and Millen run the team. So, now that the Lions are underway to another 10-loss season, I will continue to rip them at every opportunity. Because it's readily apparent that this team needs a front office overhaul, and until that happens, the digusting dead horse will continue to ride! Gotta go; the effigy is being set on fire!
(I guess I was right; he wasn't fired, though Bill Ford Jr. probably 'nudged' him to resign!)
A Response to Jokerswild’s blog about pep talk phrases: “Momma, don’t let your boys grow up to be Matt Millen!”
(Isn't it true? Look at the failure he is!)
From “A Petition for Common Sense: Sign Up En Masse”: September 15, 2008: This is a request to remove Matt "He Falls Splat" Millen as the general manager of the Lions. Mr. Millen has been found guilty of many high crimes while in charge of the Lions, such as;
1) Willingly engaging in unrelenting losing, and then blaming everyone else for his own failures.
2) Making mind-numbingly bad draft pick one after another (Charles Rogers, Mike Williams, Kevin Jones, etc.) and bad reaches when desperate (Gosder Cherlius).
3) Having an obsession with coaches who start with "m" (Marty Morhinweg (whatever his name was), Steve Mariucci, Rod "Gutless" Marinelli) and who shouldn't be head men in the first place.
4) Impersonating an NFL GM. Do I really need to say more?
5) And even you, Mr. Ford, are guilty of high crimes; you allowed all of this to occur without any attempt to stop it.
The most recent disaster occured Sunday at Ford Field against the Packers. Following the embarassment in Atlanta, the team continued to stink, as the Packers rolled to a 21-0 lead. Your offense was inept, the defense even worse, and the crowd began to serenade them with the "Fire Millen" chant. Things looked grim.
Then, in the 3rd quarter, the team had new life. Jon Kitna hit Calvin Johnson for two TDs, and the Lions led 25-24. Alas, they soon realized they were run by Mr. Millen, and the Pack rolled to 24 unanswered points to win 48-25, as Kitna threw 3 INTs (two returned for TDs) in the final five drives of the game. One of the fans even cursed out linebacker Alex Lewis after the game ended.
If you want to avoid having your team treated with antipathy and apathy, you must wake up and realize Mr. Millen isn't good as his job at all. Your team is a laughing stock of the NFL, and has the worst record in the league since Millen took over before the 2001 season. Even Al Davis is laughing at you. Do you honestly think that perennial losing will placate fans who haven't seen a winner since Wayne Fontes and Barry Sanders were in town? Hardly.
In summation, Mr. Millen should be sent out to pasture; I wouldn't even give him his old job at Fox after this disaster. Fire Mr. Millen, and at the very least hire some competent football people. Or, if you don't want to, sell the team. The lame efforts this team has given the suffering fans must come to an end, or else we'll call Clay Bennett and ask "Think Oklahoma City can support football?".
Sincerely, long suffering Lions fans and their supporters at Fox blogs
(See, bloggers? You can make a difference!)
From “Thank You, Captain Obvious”: Yesterday: With that Donald Sterling-esque resume (William Clay Ford’s), you legitimately question his desire to win. As so many Lions bashers from Detroit have said (and to all those bashers, I'm with you 100%, so don't blaze me!), the Lions have become a business. In the NBA, Sterling figured this out years ago; he said "Hey, why invest in a winner? If I can keep costs low and incompetence high, I can rake in the cash and go home!". The common thread with these teams; neither owner ever wants to fire the GM. Sterling needs Elgin Baylor to carry out his master plan, and Ford needs Millen to do the same.
(More Ford and Millen bashing. Little did I know this would be the final bash with Millen in charge)
There's my tribute. A poignant commentary to a sad sack loser o####M. Now the Lions need to find a real football man to run this team. And I emphasize "man", because the 'boys' who have run this team into the ground must go. While I don't believe they'll hire the right kind of guy, change is necessary, and Millen was just taking the life out of the Lions. Now, all together now:
"nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah nah, oh hell yeah, gooodbyeee!"
