You might recall that last week, we here at $8 Beers rolled out our choices for the best uniforms in college football. This time around, we're going negative.
Yes, it's the 10 most vile, hateful fashion crimes in all of collegiate tackle football. Without further ado ...
10. Delaware
I don't care who had this look first: it belongs to Michigan. On anyone else it just comes off as hopelessly derivative. Walk around on the
street like that, and you're liable to get your #### kicked by
Appalachian State.
9. TCU
I'm not sure when purple and black--colors that were once upon a time
the province of contusions and grapes--became de rigueur in football,
but it was a bad day. The Baltimore Ravens generally get blamed for starting the trend, but those clay-mation California Raisins were inflicting this look upon unsuspecting Americans long before.
8. Iowa State
Yes, this amateurish look is on the way out, but right now it remains
too much with us. It makes them look like the team your high school
used to beat the snot out of every homecoming.
7. Clemson
Clemson looks perfectly fine when they stick to orange jerseys and
white pants. However, when they rock the purple they look like Grimace.
A Grimace whose fans will rush the field in celebration of a three-yard
fullback trap.
6. Florida A&M
Orange and green--good colors for a dinner salad, bad colors for a football team.
5. Hawaii
All black unis = mailing it in. They look like the Green Lantern going to a Morrissey concert.
4. Rhode Island
Like the St. Louis Rams, but with extra sissy!
3. Wyoming
This arrangement is far, far too evocative of bodily fluids.
2. Oregon
A famously bad Nike concoction that's worth its weight in WTFs. It looks like a spinach omelet. Or Kermit with a bum liver.
1. San Diego State
The predominant use of black is bad enough, but what really seals it as
the worst uniform in all the land is the helmet that calls to mind an
airbrushed van. An airbrushed van owned by a guy named "Chico" or
"Slater." It all comes together to make the SDSU players look decidedly
like Oompa Loompas.
I said it once and I'll say it again. The winged helmet does not belong to michigan! It was first sported by princeton, and michigan stole the design. Okay, I see where you're coming from with the colors though.
I would've added Miami or Florida to this one. I'm sorry, but orange and forest green? C'mon.......and blue and orange? I guess that Florida sun has damaged everyone's retinas down there. I like the old school classic uni's like Oklahoma, Penn State, Nebraska......keep it simple. Gucci has no place on the gridiron.
Never been big on Florida for color scheme, and I think Northwestern should have made the good list, but if I am a coach, the one thing I do not want to see coming at me through the tunnel in a big clump is RED - Alabama / OU / Nebraska (not so much lately but we'll see)... no idea why that is... Go Penn State...
You have to add the current Miami Hurricanes uniforms to this list. They are horrible. Time to bring back the classic retro uniforms. They look way better!
Almost all of the University of California Campuses who have athletic teams use some shade of Blue and Gold/Yellow as their colors as they are more or less the official colors of the UC System. If memory serves me correctly, UC Santa Cruz and UC Davis are the exceptions.
When the tigers break oout the all purple uniforms i do admit it looks bad. But when worn with the orarnge or white pants it looks shasrp with the helment
I agree with Nitany Lion, Syracuse's all orange (& blue numbering) uni's make them look like: a) highway barrels b)prisoners on weekend work realease c)my son's pee-wee football team. Either way S'cuse, ditch those hidious uni's & get something decent.
My High School was Purple Black and White like TCU and it made us distinct, we are the only team in West Virginia with those colors, everyone hated it at first until we ####ed out 4 straight years of undefeated then purple was the color of Kings!
I like the Wyoming and Hawaii uni's. There are two that bear mentioning, I think it's Virvinia Tech and Miami that have a uni where one arm is bright orange and the other is a different color. What's the deal with that? By the way, Utah State and Oregon have the best uni's of all time!!
no real football teams wears any shade or type of orange, and any team that comes close to baby blue should be laughed off the field. real teams wear red.
Although Oregon can without a doubt kick butt on any Saturday their uniforms are still ugly. But my vote for the ugliest, most boring, most uninspiring uniforms(practice or otherwise) is Penn State, hands down!
Good Crimony did you not see the Syracuse unis last week when they played Washington. Cripes man, I know you are called the Orangeman but come on that is horrible.
I thought his list of GOOD uniforms was diluted! This list is ALMOST as bad...
1st - OREGON is the BEST and what college team has more alternate looks than Oregon? None.
2nd - HAWAII is awesome! Black in anything looks good. That's 1 reason Oregon looks good as well.
3rd - TCU is cool. Real confident men wear purple.
Looking back this "Blind" writer Perry places UCLA as a cool uni but has Rhode Island as bad? Can he not see the same "Powder Blue Nightmare" color similarity? Open your eyes dude!
Last edited by rainnorshine on September 5th at 12:28 PM.
what about the all orange with the oversized S Syracuse Orange. Not only was it ugly it they are horrible. And to pull off a uni like that you need to be good
Utah State University has one of the strangest uniforms quirks in college football. The uniforms themselves are fine, but every jersey says "Aggies" in over-sized font along the back of the uniforms.
What is wrong with a classy blank--ala Penn State--uniform back?
being that im from wyoming and the university's colors are basically the state's colors i do have to say they are somewhat "interesting" but at the same time they are unique...who else usesd brown and gold?
as for oregon...you ahve to love them!!!
hawaii? you dont like the stripe across the leg? the solid black? its not that bad, is it?
has anyone seen oregon states new uniforms, please it looks like a nightmare from olivia newton johns i wanna get physical, these guys are wearing orange sports bras, you need to redo the list, its obvious you havent seen these womens workout clothes yet
Welcome, weary traveler, to the intersection of Stupid and Cool. And by "Stupid and Cool" we mean, mostly, "Stupid."
Anyhow, my name's Dayn Perry, and, as the Video Professor is wont to say, "Try my product."
Delaware
TCU
Iowa State
Clemson
Florida A&M
Hawaii
Rhode Island
Wyoming
Oregon
San Diego State
