As a Texas Longhorn, every year around Thanksgiving time I like to  think about all of the serious rites, rituals, and traditions that our Texas brethren, the Texas A&M Aggies, bring to the table in preparation for the big UT-A&M rivalry game (yet unsponsored name like Texas-OU ATT Red River Rivalry).  Let's once again examine our "special" siblings in College Station.  All in good fun.

1)  College Station, TX - I have to assume that "College Station", the name of the town, came after the college was established there.  You would think with an institution of higher learning, that they'd come up with something a little more creative.

2)  Reveille - A&M mascot miniature collie - Of all of the breeds of dogs you could have chosen as a mascot, you managed to choose the least intimidating.  You chose Baby Lassie!  It's not even like you decided upon a full-sized collie, you went miniature!  Why didn't you go for a tough breed like a mastiff or bulldog like UGA?  And, what's up with that little maroon drape or skirt it has to wear?  I'm sure that will strike the fear into opponents.  Finally, some Aggie friends let me in on this one.... apparently, when Reveille's handler attends classes with the dog, if the dog barks, then the class is let out early.  Two points on this: 1) If I'm that handler, I'd have that dog barking like it's a Vick family reunion. 2) Don't you feel you've not gotten your money's worth from that class if it lets out early every day?  No wonder Aggies seem like an uneducated lot.  BTW, Reveille is female and a 5-star cadet General.  Hmmmm.

3) Kissing your GF after a score - speaking of dogs...j/k... every time the Ags score they kiss their girlfriends.  It's not a bad ritual, which should be looked into at every other university.  It's still silly and pointless as far as football goes, but I guess it gets the crowd riled up after those long periods of not scoring at all.  A score for a score.  Good concept.

4)  The Gig'Em Thumb - Many universities have hand signals like gang signs to denote their school allegiance.  Ie. the hook'em horns devils horns at UT, the four-fingered bear paw at Baylor, the two-fingered peace symbol in southern cal, and finally the middle-finger salute at most Notre Dame games.  They must really love their head coach since they're always showing their fingers at the end of each ND game.  However, I digress.... the Ags use their thumb.  Yes, just a thumb.  Not fingers.  A thumb.  Like their mascot dog, it's not very intimidating.  It's like they're frowning at you, but giving you the "A-OK" sign.  Like "Gig'em! We hate your guts, but it's A-OK!".  Ags take credit for having the first hand signal in the Southwest Conference.  Funny how trendsetters could end up being so far behind the times now.

5)  Push-ups for Points - Much like the kissing your GF after a score, the Aggie male cheerleaders and maybe some cadets do push-ups.  This has a distinct ####-erotic connection with it.  Straight guys in the stands kiss their GFs after a score.  The cadets and male cheerleaders do push-ups.  I dunno.

6)  "Whoop!" and "Gig'Em!" - These are the traditional yells that Aggies make to support their team.  I'm not exactly sure what "Whoop!" means, other than being an annoying noise.  Maybe they're just trying to annoy their competition into submission.  Aggies are very successful in that venture.  "Gig'Em!" comes from a game many moons ago when the Aggies were going to play the TCU Horned Frogs in an old Southwest Conference battle.  Apparently a gig is a type of spear or stabbing-device used when hunting frogs in swamps, so that makes since.  However, the tradition has carried over to other teams not named Horned Frogs.  I'm not sure a gig would do much to a longhorn, other than #### it off to the point of mauling you with its horns.  Finally, when "Gig'em!" is yelled, it's usually accompanied with the thumb.

7)  12th Man - The fans are generally considered to be an extra player, ready to jump in the game at a moment's notice if needed.  This once was a literal 12th man named E. King Gill, who was a basketball player at A&M, asked to be available to play football on the injury-shortened lineup of A&M.  He was never used, but stood on the sidelines the whole game ready to go in.  Fans carry on this tradition today by standing for the whole game.  It's a cute and honorable concept, except that A&M took it to an extreme under Jackie Sherill and fielded a whole kickoff squad full of student, non-players.  They were actually good at it for a while, until it came under scrutiny that maybe some scholarship atheletes should take the blame when a kickoff is returned for a TD.  At least they've haven't tried to field 12 men on the field at the same time.  The refs wouldn't like that.

8)  Kyle Field - I've had the (mis)opportunity to attend an A&M game at Kyle Field before.  I can tell you that there is no more raucus place for a football game.  The Aggie faithful stand the whole game (leg and back killers), and at some point lock arms and start swaying back in forth together.  The whole stadium starts swaying nauseously, and I can see why there is an intimidation factor for visiting teams.  Kyle Field is technically a War Memorial Stadium, and is thus treated as sacred ground.  Members of the Aggie corp of cadets vigilantly surround the playing field, protecting it from intruders and people who shouldn't be there....namely, anyone not an Aggie.  On several occassions in the past, unruly visiting fans attempted to storm or run out on the field, and ended up in fights with the defending corp.  Unfortunately, on more than one occassion, the jarheads took the tradition and honor a little too far, and pulled their sabres on undefended visitors.  Classy.

9)  Midnight Yell Practice - Every night before a home game, the Ags gather to practice yelling.  I thought yelling was a natural human action like crying, farting, sleeping, eating, etc.  Since when do you have to practice it?  I know, I know, there are specific things that everyone has to chant cult-style.  However, I thought there was a 3 day Fish Camp that all freshman go to to learn that stuff.  Not 1 hour, not a half day, not an evening, but 3 whole days to learn how to cheer.  I guess something as important as chanting or yelling needs constant practice.

10)  Bonfire - Yes, I know, I better be careful with this one.  Tonight, the Ags will gather at their 55ft bonfire, to symbolize their burning desire to beat "TU".  About 10 years ago, the bonfire stack, being built, collapsed and killed and maimed a multitude of student-builders.  It was a tragedy for sure, and I'm glad how UT and A&M came together during that time to support each other and show it's not all hatred about beating one another.  Today the engineering project is more closely inspected by engineers, and the students are directed more on how to build it, thus making a safer tradition.  However, I have to come to the point..... which is, what is the point?!?! It's just a fire?  Go get some scrub wood, and roast some marshmellows and smores.  They turn this into a several month venture of engineering prowess.  For what?  A stack that will burn down.  They've killed some trees.  Put lives at risk.  Polluted the environment.  And still lose the football game!

I should note that the Ags have won the last 2 games against the Longhorns, despite being relatively much worse than UT going into them.  This shows that it doesn't matter how good or bad the teams are during a rivalry.  Anyone can win any year.  A&M has stopped UT dreams before, and vice versa.  This year's game takes place in Austin, and Texas is as much as a 36pt favorite.  Texas has everything to lose in this game, while trying to win stylishly to keep the Big 12 and BCS hopes alive.  A&M is just playing out their schedule in a losing year.  A 1-11 season is a success for A&M as long as they beat UT.

Good luck Horns and Ags.  It's always fun!  Hook'em and Gag'em!