Some rants and raves from Latino wannabe SRM Genius who calls me an internet tough guy and tries to threaten me online when I'm a very easy person to find in real life. Here's how REAL internet tough guys articulate themselves online and express their inner most feelings in the most mature way possible. It's very easy to do on the internert because you can curse a lot and make the pretention of being HARD without having to actually man up to the individual you're speaking about. EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT THAT DIFFICULT TO FIND IN REAL LIFE SO IF SOMEONE REALLY WANTED TO SE ME IT WOULD'NT BE HARD TO GET UP WITH ME. So here's "Tough Guy 101" a class from SRM Genius on how to prove your toughness online:




Shut your fake #### up, you know nothing about me, and you'd be best served watching the way you speak to me lest I come find your wannabe ####. You think I ain't a real Hispanic come test me punk, I'll show you why your #### #### WANTED to be cool with all the chicos. See you have never been the only non-black person in a group, although from the look and sound of you, you are probably the LEAST black wherever you are. You wouldnt understand that black boys called ANY non-black person a white boy in my neighborhood you ignorant ####. Just like if a black hispanic was in a group of white people they'd call him the black guy, that is not a contradiction, ####.

Tu eres un maricon de mierda. Me cago en ti y la #### que te pario. Ben busca me si eres un hombre verdadero mariconcito. Tu habla mucho mierda de tras de una computadora.

Go get it translated from one of your "Latino Brothers" you piece of trash.


Come square up in person like a man punk. I wish you would but you're an internet tough guy like everyone else around this place. I spit in your face you worthless heap of flesh and bones.



If you haven't noticed, my absolute favorite team to hate on is the Patriots. You talk of fickle fans? You may be too young to remember, but nobody used to go to Pats games, they were the doormat of the AFC East along with (ironically) the Colts. And just a few years back you Bostonians were wanting to be rid of the likes of Manny Ramirez and Paul Pierce. Enough of the Hypocrisy.

I'm not defending Kobe, I just hate Shaq and he's a punk. He said he's better than Kareem, Please. Kobe probably knows what his #### taste for all I know or care. I just think Shaq is an overgrown ####.

     versus   
 
                                             When crime does pay

I met Darryl Strawberry once.

I was working the front desk as a night auditor at the Doubletree hotel in Norfolk, Virginia during one of Darryl’s journey’s to the minor leagues. His team was staying at the hotel, and after a game in which he showed why he was way too good to be playing “Triple A”, he and his teammates came through the front lobby. No bodyguards, no press, no legions of fans, just Darryl and a couple of his minor league teammates. I walked over to him shook his hand and told him that I was honored to meet him and that it was a pleasure to watch him play, both sincere comments. I mean, here was Darryl Strawberry a man who could do one of things that sports reporters for eons had said was one of the hardest things to do in all of sports, hit a major league fastball, and he could do it with ease, casually walking through the Doubletree hotel in Norfolk, wearing a pair of jeans, a jean shirt and some loafers, looking not like a god, or a legend, but just looking like Darryl Strawberry.

My man-love was obviously very evident as one of the young ladies working with me said that I was awfully excited to see him, and by the way isn’t he a drug addict; she would go on to ask. In my lifetime I’ve met a lot of drug addicts, as well as drug dealers, but none of the dealers and addicts that I’ve met ever won a World Series, that is, except Darryl Strawberry.

They say that which doesn’t kill you can only make you stronger.

If Darryl Strawberry was playing professional baseball today, he would certainly be the recipient of a one-hundred million dollar contract, easily. Darryl Strawberry was a natural. He was an athlete so extremely talented that he played a career worthy of hall of fame mention in spite of playing on what was probably the equivalent of half of a body. Barry Bonds on the other hand has been playing most of his career with the equivalent of a body and a half.

 Society is not made up of Barry Bonds’; it is made up of Darryl Strawberrys’. Most of society has to work for a living, often in jobs, or careers that we did not necessarily plan on performing when we were children. Our delusions of grandeur faced to meet head on with the realities of life and our own internal failures. Yet, we try to put on a straight face and go about our daily lives, with the hope that one day, our ship will come in and we can be rescued from the nightmare that is our ####-hum daily grind. Some of us enjoy rooting at sporting events and supporting our beloved teams as an escape from the harshness and struggle of trying to keep our jobs, and make a way for our families. Most professional athletes do not have to face those anxieties in their professional careers. Barry Bonds will not ever have to worry about how he’s going to feed his family, that is, unless he shops at the same supermarket that Latrell Spreewell does. Darryl Strawberry did manage to improve the quality of life for his family if not himself, even though he never received the type of salary that today’s juiced up sluggers earn. While that’s neither his fault nor the fault of today’s players, it just seems a little unfair, but then again that’s been the story of Darryl’s life.

We all watched as Darryl Strawberry continued to trash his future, place his and his family’s lives in jeopardy, and let illegal drugs suppress his god given talent. Yet he still managed to be a force at the plate wherever, and whenever he played the game, picking up a couple of world championships along the way, something that to date Mr. Bonds has yet to accomplish, and therein lies the paradox of Darryl and Barry.

I can imagine Darryl Strawberry living  in a small town similar to where my family lives in Windsor, North Carolina, working at the Perdue Chicken processing plant down the street, spending his summer  evenings grilling some hotdogs and burgers at the local little league games, telling all who would listen his war stories about the big leagues. I can picture it because he was almost doing just that. That’s what all of us Darryl Strawberry wannabees do everyday. I would sit there with Darryl, share some beer and burgers, and never once ask about the cocaine, the prostitutes, the spousal abuse or any of the decadence that went on his life. I wouldn’t ask him about it because I already know that story. I would just be enamored, and ecstatic that one of us got his fifteen minutes of fame, and has the hardware to prove it.

I would relish being his friend, the guy who picked him up off a nightclub floor one night when he was in drunken stupor. I would long to be the guy that Darryl would call to come bail him out of jail at three a.m. for a D.U.I. Darryl, in return, would teach my son how to hit a curveball, and allow me to pick his brain about other players he played with and against, and how it felt to play in Yankee Stadium, and I would be so thankful for the opportunity to be that close to greatness. I don’t think that I would’ve gotten the same type of bonding by being Barry Bonds’ chauffeur or butler.

Darryl Strawberry abused illegal drugs, so did Barry Bonds. The drugs that Darryl Strawberry indulged in forced him to play on only partial potential. His vices always ensured that he would never be able to play to his full potential. The drugs that Barry Bonds indulged in, allowed him to reach his full potential and surpass it. The funny thing about it all is that it appears that Barry Bonds still played on a more level playing field than Darryl Strawberry ever did. I don’t believe for one second that Bonds had an edge against, Mark Mcgwire, Jason Giambi, Jose Canseco, and Sammy Sosa among others. No in fact, I believe that those, as well as much of the current players on major league baseball rosters are all playing on a level field, which is why I don’t care if they are juiced or not, and I think that’s enough said about that. Baseball needed the Macquires, the Bonds’, the Sosas’ to save the game, because as I stated earlier, the kids of today don’t have time for real baseball, they are too busy creating their own rosters on a PlayStation somewhere.

In video game terms, Barry Bonds is like a player with a 101 rating out of a possible 100, unstoppable, un-pitchable, automatic. Darryl Strawberry would be like having a player with a 55 rating that you have to master his swing to hit a homerun, and that mastery will only come with hours upon hours of practice, but once you got the swing down pat, it too would be automatic.

I can imagine what it must be like to be like Darryl Strawberry, despite your best efforts always falling short of the mark, and disappointing all of the people who love you despite being given chance after chance to succeed, but being like Barry Bonds is somewhat different. I don’t know what it’s like to be like Barry Bonds. I will never have to go to work in front of thirty-thousand people every day, many of whom despise me, and compete against superstars with millions of dollars at stake. To do what he did at his age as well, is really unfathomable.  It is admirable, and impressive to see how a talent like Bonds manages to thrive in that kind of pressure cooker environment, even if it took a Popeye impersonation to get the job done. Unfortunately, as great of a player as Barry Bonds was, to me and many others, he’s no Darryl Strawberry.      

There are several bloggers who I regularly have give-and-take with here on FOX Sports. I think for the most part we write for each other's company since nobody at FOX seems to be paying any attention to us and I have'nt seen any inkling of another contest coming up anytime soon.

Nevertheless, we write and we write and we write, and we argue some, then we shout at each other, call each other morons and the cycle continues. Regardless, it gives those of us who actually enjoy writing and working on our craft an audience no matter how small and irrelevant.

I personally, love the blogging community. I think it's information exchange at it's finest and in several years as major news network anchors become more and more obsolete, people will simply choose which blogger they believe more and that is where they'll get their information from.

I have about 15 blogs and several podcast across the net under different names and subject matter. I'm like the blogging version of Prince (or rather the artist formerly known as Prince).

Lately, however, I see an increase in the number of people who have music on their blogs, a concept which I do not understand at all.

My personal favorite musicians or groups, in no particular order are, Kurt Cobain, The Aforementioned Artist who goes by different names, The Roots, Erykah Badu, Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Jodeci, KRS ONE and yes the Allman Brothers. In fact, "Midnight Rider" barely lost out to
Redman's "I'll Be Dat" as my personal theme song (see 'I'm Gonna Get You ####a'). And yes all of those artists are in the MP3's of the Caddy and the Range right now.

Many of you probably do not like all if not any of those artists for all I know. So I will not burden you with having to endure my personal favorites when I'm priveledged (sic) enough to have you stop by my blog to pay attention to what I'm thinking at any given moment.

We meet up here for sports talk, this isn't MySpace!

So what gives with all of the musical pages. There are several things to consider when you decide to blast us with your musical faves on your sports blog:

#1. What if your reader happens to be at work or at home late at night while his/her family is sleeping and all of the sudden we click to your page and ...Mama don't let your babies grow up to be Cowboys!!!!
What if your boss, who is in the office next door, actually likes Cowboys?
What if my wife doesn't like country music disturbing her sleep?
What if that's the song me and my ex broke up to?

Can you see the hysteria you may be causing?

#2. What if I pull into my driveway and my wife and daughter are on the front porch with a little bird they found in the front yard, and I spend the next hour online trying to figure out exactly what kind of bird it is and playing various bird sounds to see if I can get a reaction out of the bird when I shift gears, go to FOX Sports, click your blog and I get...Music makes you lose control!!!!

I guess I might be too old school for many of today's younger bloggers, judging by my musical tastes, that's probably a safe assumption, still, if you want me to hear your tracks, just give me a hyperlink to your MySpace or Facebook page and I will happily check them out.

As for the sports blogs, unless it's a vintage Cossell - Ali verbal sparring session, a classic Harry Carey or Billy Crystal 'take me out to the ballgame' rendition, or a hilarious Mike Tyson ear or children eating montage don't you think that we could find our own way to hot tunes?

Just my opinion.

Bonds indictment brings MLB and NHL a little closer together

Somebody call the Baseball Hall-0f-Fame and tell them to go to Wal-mart and buy a bunch of sharpies. They have a lot of asterisks to draw.



After years of public scorn and abuse, Bonds can finally strike back

Whether Barry Bonds knows it or not, the Feds just did him a favor.

You see thanks to the classless Marc Ecko, the Hypocritical Bud Selig, the lying Mark McGuire and the legions of haters worldwide, Barry Bonds has been painted sports Public Enemy #1.

Now, finally, Bonds will have his day in court. If he's smart.

If I'm Bonds' lawyer I do not take any plea agreement whatsoever. Bonds will be a first time offender if convicted so at worst his sentence would end up being no more than 365 days in jail and trust me, Bonds jail stay would not even resemble the type of stay most prisoners are forced to endure.

Plus there are book deals, television appearances, paid speaking engagements and all type of memorabilia to be sold ensuring that Bonds would be immensely more popular after a brief jail stint than he ever was before one.

As for his baseball legacy, Bonds will be hated by baseball brass immensely if he gives them the one thing they've acted like they have wanted for so long...the truth.

If I'm Bonds, I go straight to court, look the judge in the face and say "I'm sorry I lied, I was trying to save baseball."

You see, as giddy as many sportswriters and so called fans are about Bonds' indictment, those of us who have watched the sport with an ever growing cynicism will finally be vindicated as well when the world finds out that baseball is a fraud and has been for years.

I hate Major League Baseball. Don't get me wrong I like playing it on my X-box and I still root for the Yankees to clobber the Red Sox every year, but that's about it.

I don't like the way the MLB teams have spent untold millions of dollars developing talent in third world and Asian nations by building multi-million dollar training complexes, while ignoring the steady decline of the sport among African Americans, particularly inner city kids.

I don't like the way the sport coddled an obviously drugged up Mark McGuire when he chased the single season home run record and then turned around and made Bonds out to be some sort of pariah to the sport.

While I'm at it, I don't like the DH, Inter-League play, Managers wearing uniforms, players making 20 million for half a season, spitting tobacco on the field, corked bats and getting a huge contract for getting 3 hits out of every 10 at bats.

But that's just me.

What I have been waiting for is the Mitchell report which I keep hearing will blow the lid off of MLB's steroid problem (did I just say 'blow the lid? sheesh).

What happens when Bonds start naming other superstar big leaguers who have been juiced up for the past decade or more?

What happens when George Mitchell's report drops the names of more than one Hall-Of-Fame player who has been beyond reproach?

Baseball almost died a slow death after it's labor strike in 1994. Do you know what saved it? Steroids of course. They say when you lie down with dogs you get fleas. If that's the case then MLB is infested.

Now that Bonds and Mitchell are front and center maybe the sport can take it's place alongside professional hockey as a sport that nobody cares about.

While Bonds is in jail, insulated from the daily hordes of media bloodhounds, we will get the opportunity to watch Selig and several other 'baseball royalty' squirm.

All of this less than a year after breaking the home run record with a 'kiss my a**' attitude.

You know what they say "He who laughs last..."

Get 'em Barry.