(For those of you who don't understand the term 'literary device", the title is merely an effort to see how much enmity I can provoke and still get buried by the Fox webmasters)

The NFLN just broke the story that the Jacksonville Jaguars have reversed course and chosne David Garrard over the offseason anointed starter, Byron Leftwich. Not only that, Byron will be leaving town at the behest of the JAX FO.

Leave it to Rich Eisen to practically sob over Leftwich's ultimate trade or release, only 9 days before the opener. If that wasn't enough, NFLN "insider" Adam Schefter, when asked if it was a money issue, said "no it wasn't a consideration, but it was a consideration". Okay, that's not an actual quote, just satire.

But here's the secret folks, it was about money. Money and progress. Leftwich was scheduled to make over $5mm this season, and aside from his string of injuries an 50% on the field ratio the last few years, Leftwich simply wasn't getting any better as a QB. Too much money for too little progress. Forget the strories of him playing on a broken leg at Marshall. He didn;t play with a borken toenail in Jacksonville. Five years later, his release was still "sundial fast", his weight was still an issue, his energy and leadership were questionable and he just didn't put points on the board. So goodbye Byron.

Before Rich Eisen soaks another crying towel, let's not sweat for the helfty Leftwich. He'll instantly wind up either in KC, Minnestota, Oakland, Atlanta, NY (either one) Cleveland, Dallas, or maybe even Tampa Bay. I hear Gruden plans to keep 10 QB's this year. I fully expect the NAACP to hang Arthur Blank in effigy though, if he doesn't immediately trade for Leftwich and sign him to a 10-year, $150mm extension. Anything less would be racism.

Let's not start crying about how unfair it is to Leftwich, shall we? The guy collected mint for being a part time QB and never raising his game a single inch. Now some desperate team will throw another load of cash at Byron for five more years of mediocre, part-time performance. The sad fact is though, the Falcons, Vikings, Chiefs, Browns, Bucs would be  better off with Leftwich than what they have right now. Even if Vick wasn't rotting in jail where he belongs, Leftwich still is the better man in ATL. Quinn is not ready, and I won;t even mention the crumbums starting in Minnysoda, KC and the undersized retread in TB.

So big deal, the Jags cut Leftwich. They got tired of paying $5mm for an average QB who gets hurt a lot, and now they're gonna pay maybe a mil or two to a average QB who "can beat you with his arm and his legs". Translation: In a few years he'll be a backup punter or starting for an Arena league team.

They'll be a few surpirses before this weekend is over, but for me, this wasn't one of them. Players constantly hold teams hostage until the last minute with the cry "it's just business". So Wayne Weaver kept Leftwich until the 11th hour even though the FO and staff didn't have faith in him. Well, you reap what you sow guys.  Loyalty is no longer a noun in NFL parlance for either side. It's a business, you know.

One of my favorite NFL Network Commercials is the "time to get your story straight" ad. The one where they show the pre-season commentary from everyday fans that ends up completely backwards. Statements like, "Mark my words, this is Cleveland's year" come to mind.

Nonetheless, I have the same right to go out on a limb and embarass myself too. So with that in mind, I'm going to post my crow now and eat it later. So here are my predictions for noteworthy developments in the upcoming season of the greatest show on turf. (The NFL, not just the Rams).

McNabb McChoked

1. Donovan McNabb is auditioning for his next team. With a rash of injuries, hurried rehab, no contract extension, and huge cap numbers looming, McChoke is a ghost in Philly. Don't be surprised is Dumbavan struggles early and Felly/Kolb start splitting reps by week 3. Reid has ultimate confidence in Feeley. His decision to bench him for the playoffs a few years back cost the Birds a SB shot.

2. John Gruden will be the next big name coach to be fired. Tony Dungy's SB win last year solidified the fact that Gruden was a recipient of the Switzer (formerly known as the Seifert) Trophy in Tampa. That's the award you win when the coach before you builds a championship team that could win a SB with a blow up doll at HC. Gruden has put his stamp on the Bucs like Seifert did or the Panthers. Just remember, Jon, when you have seven QB's, you have no QB.

3. The Colts will not repeat. Their personnel losses mean they will score fewer points and other teams will score more points.

4. That "Write In" SB Trophy for the Pats is premature. The Pats have serious questions at RB and LB, two positions that tend to mean a great deal to playoff teams. Besides, Randy Moss never makes a team better. The fact that the Pats decided to retool via spending spree is a departure from what made them great anyway.

5. The Vikes are in serious trouble offensively. To paraphrase ex-ESPN analyst Joe Theismann; "the problem with having Tavaris Jackson as your QB is that Tavaris Jackson is your QB". The only thing more frightening than a season with Jackson under center is half a season with Brooks Bollinger under center.

6. Priest Holmes will come back successfully. Will he be the Priest of old, maybe not quite. Will he make Larry Johnson trade bait? Yes.

7. Just like Bill Cowher used to coach great teams into mediocrity, Norv Turner will coach a very good team into ineptitude. The wheels may not come completely off this year in SD, but if the Chargers win ten and even sneak into the second season, it will be a blessing to the town that gave us Jimmy Durante.

8. The same Dallas Cowboys who cursed Parcells on the way out the door, will be wishing for another new coach after ten weeks of Wade Phillips. Wade is not a winning HC. Watching him mishandle the talent that Parcells assembled in Dallas is going to be ugly. Jerry Jones is starting to look more and more like Dan Snyder every day.

9. The fear of the QB formerly known as "Joey" in Atlanta is earth-shattering overkill. Harrington has slightly better career stats than his predecessor and is sacked far less often. Few people bother to remember that, despite the NFL's best run game by a wide margin, Vick is the most sacked QB in the NFL. Sacks kill drives and give field position away, kids. With a QB at QB, even "Joseph", the ShitBirds are immediately better off offesnively.

Mike Vick's Next Training Camp

10. Mike Vick no longer possesses that "escapability" that NFL announcers so often waxed about. (Actually, if you look at Vick's sacks per attempt, even nearly-crippled Peyton Manning has much better "escapability".) Vicks' real escapability, though will start to be tested Monday, when at least one of his co-defendants will plea-out and (without doubt) offer replete and damning testimony on Ron Mexico's leadership in his dog-killing ring. He did esacpe one thing though, his Nike Contract.

11. Vince Young will struggle as teams begin to employ the Cunningham/Stewart/Vick defense against him. Despite the Tacks excellent ground game, Young will be forced to become effective from the pocket. I'm not saying he won;t learn how to play the position in the NFL, but his real learning curve wil decelerate as teams get to know him.

12. The Panthers will continue to be overrated. I don't need to explain this.

13. JaMarcus Russell is already benched until year two. With no contract in sight, the guy who most needs TC on the team that most needs a QB, can not even dare to play him this year. He'd have a better rookie year if the RayDuhs put him in a giant blender.

14. Nobody cares if Michael Strahan holds out. He's an aging star on a team in transition at many skill positions. Coughlin is done and Bil Cowher will either end up here or in Cleveland depending on Romeo Crennel's progress.

15. The Cro-Magnon in a cheerleader suit returns. Just when we thought cerebral guys like Mike Nolan were the new wave of HC's, look for some "I wanna win now" owner to hire the Missing Link to continue the commitment to mediocrity he pioneered in Pittsburgh. I truly believe that Cowher will end up in Cleveland, though. He's a Schotty Disciple from the Brown days, played ball there and knows like no one else, how to lose big games at home. The fit is perfect. It's clear that Al Lerner knows a good deal more about window-shopping than trap-blocking. Don't rule out Dan Snyder, though. I think Gibbs will finally admit that he never regained the edge he lost before his first retirement.

16. Matt Schaub will make the Texans better. Unfortunatley, that means they'll be mediocre.

17. The Steelers will have some growing pains under Mike Tomlin. It's likely that part of the transition will see the Steelers shedding  overpriced, over-the-hill and underperforming LB's like Farrior and Haggans along with the 52 Defense Cowher adored for so long. Don't be surprised to see a lot more 4-3 looks right away with either Woodley or Timmons in a 3-point stance, and eventually the combination of Timmons and Woodley on the outside with Harrison in the middle of a 4-3 alignment.

18. Byron Leftwich will play his last season in JAX. Despite DelRio's politically correct speak, he's clearly not a Leftwich believer. I don't think he's a Garrard believer either. The Jags aren't convinced Culpepper will ever be healthy, though. Don't be shocked if Jake Plummer ends up in Jagland, or the Jags draft a young QB and sign a make-due vet next year.

Old enough to QB, but can't buy beer.

19. The big problem in KC is not LJ, it's BC. Handing the QB job to a guy whose had two incredible preseasons is a risk. Handing the job to a guy whose had two pretty good preseasons is a symptom of psychosis. Hasn't Herm Edwards learned that the QB does matter. Did he forget about his job with the Jets?

20. Trent Green will start in Miami and get hurt again. Who's backing him up again? It may as well be Joey Porter, because Porter will at least enjoy running his mouth in the huddle.

Those are just a few insights into what I'm expecting in NFL 2007.

Let's hear your thoughts