Amazing. Simply amazing.

Down by 10, with a few minutes to go in the most critical game of their season, The Falcons QB decided that the breathtaking pain of a pulled hamstring was too much to bear, and took his spot on the sidelines.  Isn't it just like Vick to make sure that Schaub wouldn't see (for a real drive) the field until the game was essentially decided. Even though the great Ron Mexico later said he felt the pull in the 3rd quarter. Of course ATL was still in the game then.

This is yet another in the serious of exceedingly classless acts by the "most exciting player in the game", Mike Chick. I thought he had peaked with the Olympian style "double handed flip-off", but that almost pales in comparison to a QB quitting on his team because it doesn't believe he can pull the game out.

The stats will say Chick had another great game (another great loss), in large part due to ATL's ability to capitalize on the Boys' miscues. What the stats won't show is that a host of former greats questioned Vick's sitdown aloud, even Deion (I never met a black QB I didn't root for) Sanders. Just shows that given enough time and enough rope, every #### will hang himself .

Is it me, or does it look like the Saints are beginning to play up or down to the level of their competition? One week they lose to a Steelers crew on life support, next they lose to a Cincy team that should change it's colors to white with black pinstripes, then they crush ATL, SF and Dallas, and then get handled by the Redskins. Trap game? The trap was made out of the Redskins. Great teams beat the teams they're supposed to beat. I don't see NO going deep into January, unless they get a first round bye. A bye should get them one PO win by accident.

In Pittsburgh, where missing the playoffs one out of every three years is becoming commonplace, the team and FO refuses to admit the HC's status is an issue. It's an issue, a huge one at that. Right now, part time -players and Cowher's trusted vets like Joey Porter must be messing their drawers thinking about a new HC next year. Why?. For the same reason #### LeBeau's face masker on Anthony Clark, after a ridiculous showboat this sunday, was long overdue. Cowher runs his team like a country club administrator, but for the occasional scapegoat assistant or player (see "Taylor, Ike") Cowher is probably the least demanding coach in the NFL. How many other coaches would keep playing a KR/PR who fumbled more than half out ten consecutive chances? How many other coaches would keep starting huff and puff disappearing acts like Joey Porter every week? Is is an issue? Cowher's trusted vets are terrified.

Besides, Cowher has his  trophy. As hard as he tried to go home without the Lombardi last year, (by turtling his offense, playing prevent against one of the NFL's best offenses for the 2nd half, and then plunging choke-dog Bettis into the line  for a career typifying fumble, Big Ben simply wouldn't go home empty handed). So Cowher has his trophy. And he rewarded the franchise with the least ready to perform, least disciplined, least motivated Steeler team I have ever seen. After watching his team sleepwalk through weeks 1-12, even he must know he doesn't have it, never had it, and never will have it.

That in mind, here are the top ten reasons the Steelers will probably (I'm a sap, I know) not repeat:

10. OL is older, weaker and slower than ever. A diabetic guard and a one-legged center equals a jail break every week.

9. Any legitimate NFL QB can put up big numbers on Cowher's Okie ZB defense. The middle is always open. If you've just met your TE during the National anthem, you''ll still drop 330 and three TD's on him.

8. Fundamentals, schmundamentals! 14 games in, the #1 pick and PR/KR still only fields 50% of his chances witout a turnover. Sadly, the kid is a huge talent, but don;t they have anyone to show him how o field a kick?

7. The Old Gray LB's just ain't what they used to be . . . . . James Farrior has lost a step, Joey Porter is too used to half-steppin' and having the occasional big game against a doormat, Clark Haggans just can't beat anyone with technique or size, and I still can't figure how Larry Foote is doing anything but washing LeBeau's car.

6. Steve McNair in the AFCN means another 1-2 divisional losses per year. McNair owns the Steelers. Probably because he loves throwing to his TE.

5. We missed the Bus. Just kidding. Losing Bettis happened four years ago. The guy hadn't managed a full season in God knows how long, and his playoff performances against NE were the stuff that nightmares were made of. The problem is that the fat, lazy Steeler OL is used to blocking for a one and done slob like Bettis. They still aren't/can't hold their blocks long enough for Parker. Still Parker does well, but I can't help but wonder what he'd do in a stretch style scheme.

4. Our best WR is older and slower and wasn't that great in the first place. Sure the faithful celebrate Ward because he's a lunchpail guy, but there's a reason he averages about 25% fewer yards per catch than stud wideouts. When your #1 is actually just a good #2, you have problems.

3. 15 years and not a damn play changed . . . . It's true, but for a few adjustments, they do the same stuff now that they did in 1992. It gets embarassing when mushheads like Dan Dierdorf can see a formation and say, "they like to go to Ward over the middle on this one". Then they go to ward over the middle or the DB who also knows the play for a takeback.

2. Roethlisberger began to recover his trength, timing and football sense around week 10. Which would have been okay if he hadn't been starting in week 2.

1. Cowher simply thought the "bullseye rule" didn't apply to his Champions. Before he even noticed, the season was over.

In Chicago, they're 12-2 and playing in Chicago this January. For those of you who didn't anticipate Grossman snapping out of his slump; shame on you. A healthy Grossman means a healthy Bears team for a good long time, and Chicago is going to have little in the way of NFCN competition for a while, unless GB, Minnesota or Detroit signs Matt Schaub. As much as I'm amazed at the press's ability to forget that Grossman almost carried the team through its first 10 games, I'm amazed at their inability to remember the many failings of Ron Mexico.

But that's the press for you. They hate to admit when they're wrong, unless they think someone might notice.

Oh and Terrell Owens spit on D'Angelo Hall. Who cares? Have you ever seen two more classless individuals?

Ed Bouchette is only one of the legion of Pittsburgh Sports Sycophants who genuflect at the feet of Lord William Laird Cowher. But even so, Bouchette has probably been voted by his peers to be the reporter most likely photographed sucking on Cowher's teat. That's why Bouchette's typically supportive, second rate response to a question of Cowher's throwing Roethlisberger on the field in game 2, 3, and especially yesterday is so unsurprising. Ever since Cowher's agent hinted that he might threaten to take his show on the road and vault the Browns to mediocrity, the Pittsburgh Media has been lobbing softballs in his direction at every opportunity.

Bouchette embarrassed himself again today, defending The Lord's decision to put BadBen in the lineup against one of the true garbage teams in the NFL, one week after getting a 1-3 knockout punch a week earlier.

Here's a question for Ed and Bill. Why do you pay a backup a million or so a year, if not to sub for your thrice injured franchise player against the worst team in the NFL?

Here's another question for the dynamic duo. Why do Steeler players get flagged twice on consecutive plays for running their mouths.

Here's another question for my boys. Why do you think teams keep sitting on your 3rd and goal pass to the middle of the EZ and taking it back for TD's?

Oh, and how does a team that won the SB last year go out and get flat out handled by junk like the Raiders?

But here's the only important question. Are these guys even watching the games.

BumBen looks great until he starts getting pressure or needs to think fast. The KC and Atlanta games were an anomaly because we had guys actually getting open for a while and the OL gave BR some time. Until the 2nd half in Atlanta, that was.

It kills me, because the same guys who ran Tommy Maddox out of town for coming back scared after he was paralyzed can't seem to see or admit the truth about Roethlisberger. But I see it.

Toothlessberger is scared and defenses are smelling blood like sharks at a feed. It's 2003 all over again. Teams stack the box on 1st down and then run the jailbreak on 2nd and 3rd down. Maybe Cowher and Bouchette are willing to kid themselves about it, but #7 is shrinking from contact like he'll burst into flames if he gets hit. And he probably should.

The facts are pretty simple. An unready for camp Roethlisberger got too little work to be ready for the season. An unready Roethlisberger got too little healing time for an appendectomy and an unready Roethlisberger got too little time off from a KO two weeks ago. If I had spent my last 6 or so months healing from losing a fight with a Chrysler, having my appendix removed and then getting cold cocked by 900 lbs. of defensive lineman, I'd be gun shy too.

Right now, Roethlisberger says he wants to play because he's a stand up guy and wants to be a leader. He even takes the blame for playing terribly most of the time and especially under pressure.

He's also still too young to rent a car.

Big Ben says he wants to play, but then plays like he wants to at be home hiding under the covers. Cowher seems to have missed that. Bouchette has a season full of excuses for his column and 9 more weeks of softballs for Bilbo to boot.

But what's Cowher's excuse?

Granted, he's never been able to coach at a high enough level to have two-dimensional teams until the blink of a Maddox and then Roethlisberger showed up. And granted, his teams have this annoying habit of playing down to the level of cellar dwellers and expansion teams. But come on Ed, what's Bill's excuse? Bill's not 23 and the dean of NFL coaches, even if he can't control his players on the field (see Joey Porter, Hines Ward, Larry Foote, et. al), can sure as heck decide which ones see the field at all.

Don't give us the "it's up to the doctors" rap fellas. The Steelers doctors ended Bradshaw's career shooting him up, denying him surgery and then rushing him back after he had surgery. The Doctors put Maddox back on the field three weeks after being paralyzed. Those kinds of decisions end player's careers either by shredding their bodies or destroying their psyches or both.

For God's sake Ed, grow a sac and challenge the Dean of NFL Underachievement, and ask him why he's playing a guy who has no business taking head shots from thugs who have nothing better to do than try to end someone.

And Bill, for once in your "One Seahawk Collapse away from" career of ignominy, be a coach for God's sake, instead of a simpleton cheerleader who cant control his players and gets befuddled by the easiest of decisions.

I'm not worried about 2006. 2006 is over.

I just want Roethlisberger to survive until the next Steeler Coach takes the helm.

Sometimes the NFL is just plain funny, sometimes it's not. But this weekend's  action pegged the accidental comedy meter, the "I told you so" meter and the "WTF" meter all at the same time .

Some noteworthy accidental comedy:

Denny Green gets props for the most ridiculous outburst since Hal MacRae's underwearing, phone propelling tirade years back. Watching Green go from unwind to unravel in 4.9 seconds was one of the most hilarious scenes I have ever witnessed. Green now makes Jim Mora (Sr.'s) bouts with apoplexy look like Robert Frost's gentle musings. The guy who should be apoplectic is the guy who hired Green in the first place and didn't fire him last year. Green reminds me of Marty Schottenheimer in his ability to coach potentially awesome teams into mediocrity and eventual collapse.

Scott Linehan's request that we apply the ten second runoff to illegal formation penalties is the kind of revisionist history I expect from his worthy opponent Mike Holmgren.  You expect this kind of whining from Holmgren, but Linehan? Maybe it's just indigenous to the NFC West.

Has anyone else gotten half the mileage that I get out of Tony Kornheiser abusing Joe Theismann every Monday night? Up until this season, I found Kornheiser only slightly amusing. Now he's my second biggest hero next to Bill Simmons.

TO scored 3 TD's against the Texans and had the celebrations all ready. Hey TO, it was the Texans. You should be ashamed for not scoring at least 6 TD's.

And speaking of comedy, how about Fox's boys saying that ATL fans were booing the offense instead of naming the real target, Mike Vick. But it doesn't end there.

And "I told you so":

Thank you again Ron Mexico, for proving yet again that the one sure way to beat the Falcons is to make their QB play QB, unless it's Matt Schaub, that is.  What genius in Atlanta thought that running the option would disguise the fact that their QB still isn't a QB? At this pace, Atlanta is going to modify the offense for Vick's special abilities until they have to bench him.

I have long been sure that Donovan McNabb will never win a big game, ever. But he's taken it to a new level, being unable even to win a big game against the Saints.  I used to insist that McNabb and his cannon arm were a bad fit for the 3-5-7 yard routes in the WC offense, now I know that McNabb is a bad fit in any offense, when it counts that is. McNasbb under pressure is tighter than Jerry Jones facelift.

9 NFL teams passed on Matt Leinhart. That's hilarious. Nine teams thought there were better choices than Leinhart. No, really they did. That's about as dumb as the time ten teams thought they should take someone other than Ben Roethlisberger.  But I feel kind of sorry for Leinhart though,  playing for a USFL franchise and all.

Speaking of Big Ben, he played a little bigger this week. It became abundantly clear last year, and I said last year, that Roethlisberger had taken the team from Cowher.  Watching the Steelers buzzsaw the Chiefs last Sunday was proof of what even an 80% Roethlisberger does for the team. And I say 80% because he's still quacking the long balls.

And I tell you I told you so later this year when everyone sees how good the Bengals aren't. They can't run and they can't stop the run. They're five major gifts away from being 2-3.

RIP, Steve McNair's career. How far have you fallen when Kyle Boller makes an offense look better by comparison?

But WTF?

Larry Johnson, wtf? You hair tackled a guy, but did you have to pull it up and whip it around like a horse tail? Not good form.

Joe Gibbs, wtf? Your QB is 93 years old and can't complete a pass over 15 yards, your backup QB hasn't been able to learn the playbook for how many years now? Then you get beaten by a QB who's as dumb as Michael Vick and Jason Campbell combined. What's next Joe, signing Vinny Testaverde?

And best of all, Al Davis, wtf? I'm still torn as to whether this belongs in accidental comedy, I told you so or WTF. But the truth is, it qualifies for all three.  Al, if you're even remotely tethered to reality these days, take my advice. Art Shell is not an NFL head coach, Art Shell should be the name for the lethal injection used in euthanasia. I mean really, Al. I'm a Steeler fan, which means I have the genetic predisposition that causes one to despise the Raiders. But even I feel bad for them. Like I said, sometimes it's funny, sometimes it's not funny. Art Shell is not funny

Random Thoughts

0-2 without Steve Smith, 4-0 with Steve Smith. Is there any other receiver in Football who has that kind of impact?

Eli Manning is starting to look like Dr. Manning and Mr. Hyde.  It seems like he changes into one or the other every week at halftime.

Is anyone else sick of the Broncos being the "just enough" team?

Note to Bear's opponents:If Rex Grossman is self destructing, make sure you score 46 instead of 23.

I used to love Nick Saban's press conferences, funny how losing isn't so funny.

 

 

 

 

 

Excuses abound. They ought to re-christen the "Steel City" the "Explantion City".

There’s a legion of apologists that say the team misses “The Bus” and that the loss of Bettis’ “leadership” has had an effect on the team. I can’t understand whence that opinion springs. Bettis was great at turning gaping, 35 yard holes into eight yard gains. Aside from being a post season disappearing act, the guy who was supposed to get the tough yards spent the last five years of his career stumbling and bumbling 3rd and short and 4th and short carries into no gain or 2 yard losses. His disappearing acts against the Pats are #### (Hall of Shame) material. Was it any accident that Pittsburgh won their first SB under Cowher with their first breakaway RB? I don’t think Bettis is missing.

Those folks will also point to the less that 100% health of #1 wide-out Hines Ward. I’m sure Hines’ hammy is hurtin’, the guy’s a gamer and however bad he looks, he hurts twice as much. But it’s just as likely that Ward is another year older, another year slower and wasn’t very fast to begin with. Ward is not a receiver that strikes fear into the hearts of CB’s. Yes, the absence of a clear #2 makes it even easier to shut down Ward, but I never heard of Champ Bailey, Charles Woodson or Chris McAlister losing any sleep the night before covering Ward.

People should be talking about the ‘02-‘03 syndrome, where teams just abandoned the run game altogether, and we insisted on maintaining 7-10 yard cushions so our DB’s could allow those “confusing” Zone Blitzes to develop. What developed was 80-90 yard TD drives built on 10-15 consecutive 6-8 yard passes.  It’s happening in 2006. Our answer? Soft coverage and more blitzes.  The three and out’s don’t help any.

I haven’t heard anyone complain about the absence of Antwaan Randle El. Cowher just got a few new guys who can run backwards and fumble. But Roethlisberger had some chemistry with ARE. Maybe he misses him when Nate Washington drops the passes ARE used to drop.

Is it the absence of Kimo Von Oelhoffen that’s making those DB’s sit back ten yards? No. His replacement, Brett Keisel has played very well.

 

The fact is, this team is every bit as athletically gifted, probably more so, than last year’s Steelers. They’re doing the same things defensively, running the same offense, coaching with the same coaches and playing in the same division. Bettis was a role player last year, he’d been a role player for the last five years even though they called him a starter. Willie Parker is an upgrade. ARE’s 40 catches are easily replaced. Max Starks is a year more experienced. Ward will get his 90-100 catches because they’ll throw 150 balls his way.  Heath Miller would be a top 5 TE if they threw to him. Bryant McFadden is already better than Ricardo Colclough, Taylor is on the verge of stardom, and Joey Porter looks like he’s savings his half a season of work for the 2nd half. Haggans is healthy and productive and Polamalu is Polamalu.

 

The Steelers should be better, and they would be, if not for one fateful day last summer.

Let’s face it, folks. Roethlisberger is the difference. The guy who the Steelers counted on to bail them out again, and again and again last season is now the guy who buries them again and again and again.  I watched Roethlisberger bailing out repeatedly against Jacksonville and I wondered why he was out there. Then I watched him jam game killing picks into Bengal DB’s (blowing a winnable game) that would have made Brett Favre proud and I wondered what he was thinking. This week I watched him under throw a flea-flicker into triple coverage, then later bail out under pressure and loft a flutter ball to a Charger LB (again, blowing a winnable game).  The difference isn’t Bettis, it’s not ARE, not Ward, not anyone but Big Ben.  Roethlisberger was the difference last year and he’s the difference this year.

Ben tells us he’s having “brain cramps”. But when a guy bails out like he’s been bailing, the problem is a little further south. It’s kind of frightening when I think of what happened with Tommy Maddox. Maddox replaced the legendary Kordell Stewart and came out guns blazing. It looked like the Maddox Steelers were going to score 35 points a game, every game. Then he got knocked out against the Titans and never quite recovered. Maddox was okay after a few weeks off in 2002, but came back at less than full speed. By 2003 he had obviously taken some time to consider his health and played scared from there on.  By 2004, he was benched and eventually out of football.

I’m not saying Roethlisberger will share Maddox’ fate, but he could. There are a lot of great athletes in the NFL that never make it big, many never make it all.  Why, because some of them play fearlessly, and some do not play fearlessly.  The #7 we’ve been watching kind of reminds me of the Kurt Warner we saw after his big concussion in NO. Same looks, same size, same uniform, much different style of play.

I think of it like this. My father was a very unemotional man for my entire childhood.  Then, when I was 16, he had a heart attack. He cried often after that. At the time, I didn’t know what changed, but I do now. He faced his mortality and it scared him. I think Roethlisberger faced his mortality this summer, and it scared him too. My father dealt with his fear until the day he died, and it changed the way he approached the world. I’m wondering if Roethlisberger will do the same.

“It’s things like this that really help you put things in perspective”. That’s what they’ll say. “Football is the last thing on our minds right now”. “His health is all that matters”. You’ll hear those more than a few times as well. As a matter of fact, millions will be mindlessly reciting airy platitudes when discussing Ben Roethlisberger’s recent two wheeled train wreck.  

The fact is, there is little chance that any of this will be seen in perspective. More than one 24-year old will plow his or her motorcycle into a car, or a tree, or a guardrail this year. It’s possible they’ll make a local news spot for 30 seconds or at least get a few column inches in the B section of the local rag. But they won’t have an entire legion of adoring fans hoping their hero will be okay. After all, none of them were the youngest quarterback ever to win a Super Bowl.

 

 

Let’s try to be realistic here. Retired Roethlisberger at age 45 would draw a quick byline and a few hundred cards and letters. Benched Ben, had he not worked out so well since taking over for Tommy Maddox, would draw a few concerned team mates, cards and callers. But take Big Ben out of a Steelers Jersey and his legion of worriers shrinks to 10 or 20 family members and friends. If “his health was all that mattered” the legion of selfish (self included) Steelers fans wouldn’t be peeing their pants at the mention that Roethlisberger had seriously injured his knees. If things were really put in perspective, the Steelers organization wouldn’t be crapping their drawers over their $9mm bonus baby.

Not to mention (although I’m mentioning) the fact that this one crash will do more to reignite the motorcycle helmet-law controversy than any driver’s-ed smash film, as well as re-open the Cowher commentary on the subject.  Heck, even Bradshaw told Ben to save his hobby for retirement. Of course, Brad’s probably jealous because Chuck Noll would have cut him for even having a picture of a motorcycle taped to his locker.

So here’s some perspective for you. 24 year-olds do stupid things. Rich 24 year-olds can afford to do more stupid things because they have more resources and leisure time. Superstar NFL quarterbacks must be off the charts when it comes to the probability they will do something stupid. What did we expect when we heard that he was hot-rodding without a helmet?

So call it by its right name. It’s a terrible accident but not a tragedy, whether he plays ball again or not.  Big Ben’s crash is no more or less important than that of any 24 year old mother’s son, but the fans and media won’t treat it that way. And because he’s the youngest SB winning QB ever, and literally elevated a losing team to a champion in 2 seasons, there is no shot that this story will ever be put in perspective. There’s too much ticket and TV revenue at stake, too many Jersey’s and bags of jerky to be sold, to many fans hungry for a command performance.

 

So now we sit and wait to hear if Big Ben will be okay. The minute we know he’s out of intensive care, then we can take a deep breath and start worrying about what’s really been scaring us all along. How’s that for perspective?