CBS has a new TV show this season that stars Stanley Tucci as a brain surgeon. Kind of ironic, when you consider that Tucci has made a long career of playing 2nd or 3rd bananas, or 2nd rate crooks in 2nd rate films. I bet the show is a huge hit in Pittsburgh, though, where a 2nd rate pretender has been starring as coach of the Steelers for 15 seasons.

With about ten minutes left this Sunday, the Ravens sent in the scrubs and signaled not just a Steeler season killing victory, not just a SB run ended, but 50 minutes of complete domination.  Dan Dumbdorff had said, 44 minutes earlier; "you won't see this too often, but the Steelers are getting manhandled".  As usual, Dierdorff was way off the mark.

You do see it. If you're an honest and objective Steeler fan, you know you see the Steelers get outhit by all but the cellar dwellers more often than not. If you're willing to face the truth of Cowher's Steelers, you know that they get outhit often. The truth is, Cowher's Steelers have been living off the legacy of Noll's Steelers of the 70's for 15 years now. But that's supposed to be okay I guess, because Noll's Steelers of the 80's lived off of that legacy too.

Consider also that Cowher's teams are an impressive 45-65 when the oppnent scores first and 23-71 when trailing at the half. Loosely translated, that meant the black and gold should have just packed up and headed to the airport at halftime. Before you start talking about that comeback last week, remember who the Steelers were playing, the same team that was demolished by the 5-5 Benglas today. Cowher's gang is a scintillating 24-54 when they lose the time of possession battle and 23-59-1 when they lose the turnover battle.  You may not have known these facts, but I did, so when any decent team goes up 7-0, I pretty well know the gang is in for a long day.

But give the Devil his due. 9 sacks later, even I didn't expect the Steelers to come out this week and get so thoroughly punked by the Ravens. The dean of NFL coaches managed somehow to not just bring his team out flat and timid, he also must have broken out the double secret strategy of not allowing his players to block anyone. 

Leading 14-0, the Ravens dialed up another sack and crushed Roethlisberger. While the trainers stood over him on the sideline asking him what day it was, they should have been asking him if he wanted to throw in the towel. I can hear it now:

Q: What day is it?

A: What day is it? It's the day Harting gets his #### knocked backwards after every snap, the diabetic is auditioning to play a revolving door , and Marvelous Marvel is throwing lookouts every other play, that's what frickin' day it is!

But let's not just consider the offense, Cowher's assistant Dean of Defense, #### LeBeau just kept throwing the same slow developing, garbage blitzes at the Raven's he's been using since 1992. That LB crossover up the middle is a beauty, and it still works juts like ti did back in the 90's. Does anybody remember Alfred Pupunu? Steve McNair does. He just kept abusing the empty middle with drive building completions to Frank Wychek, no I mean Todd Heap or insert TE name here. Worse yet, he isn't throwing it with Kevin Greene or Chad Brown anymore. Now we get washed up James Farrior and undersized, under-talented Larry Foote slapping helplessly at 330 lb. Raven linemen.

Of course Dierdorff didn't miss the chance for commiserating with Cowher's pre- game statement that the Steelers "just haven't gotten consistent play" from the secondary. Here's a quick question for you sports fans. How do you get solid secondary play when you have your corners play 8-10 yards off of receivers and blitz your safeties every other down? The answer is, you don't. The short pass is always there and the middle seam is wide open. This is a big reason why the Steelers are a play from ahead team. Any offense that can afford to be patient will abuse them.

This week's debacle began when Cowher made the gutless move to bench his best athlete in the secondary, Ike Taylor.  True, Taylor got roasted a few days in advance of Thanksgiving by NO, but benching a guy after a season extending win? Why? Why do that? How about giving a struggling, but gifted young player a chance to catch his breath and get his confidence back. This was Cowher's pathetic way of demonstrating that was actually coaching the team, that's why.

But why not bench season long no-show, Joey Porter? Why not bench officially washed up Center Jeff Hartings, who has been getting pushed around every week like Greg Lloyd in SB XXX? Why not sit the fumble machine punt returner, Santonio Holmes? Why not start a WR that catches more passes than he drops, or at least sign one? Why not adjust your schemes to expose the other team's weaknesses, like your opponents do? Why not stop running the same plays on offense and defense you've been running for 15 years now.

I'll tell you why. It's like my psychologist often tells me, he has no answers.

But just like where there's a will there's a lawyer, there's hope in even the saddest of occurrences. This season is the long overdue baptism that Ben Roethlisberger  had coming (if he manages to live to week 16) and he should come back stronger. A 6-10 finish will likely allow the Steelers to get a few decent draft picks, especially at LB and WR. And best of all, it will likely force the Steelers FO to force the Dean of NFL Dipshits out the door for fear of losing both Ken Wisenhunt and Russ Grimm. Plus, I get the feeling that Art Jr. isn;t as much a fan of Bilbo as Dan Rooney was.

Now don't get me wrong. I think Cowher is a genuinely good guy and I was thrilled for him when the Steelers finally got that elusive 5th trophy. But that trophy was the result of Ben Roethlisberger strapping the team and Cowher to his back for a SB run. Until BigBen, Pittsburgh had 3 out of 4 AFCC flameouts at home, and was one hail-mary away from the o-fer.

Personally, I'm sick of the molly-coddling of underachieving, overpaid "trusted vets" like Joey Porter. I'm tired of watching broken down fat slobs like Jerome Bettis being called "leaders" even after they no-show in January and I'm tired of hearing about how pluggers like Hines Ward are the best Pittsburgh has to offer.

So while Steeler fans are enduring what is looking like the worst, post-SB encore in history, they only need to look at the guy in the headset to know whence it sprang. The great news is that he might have secured his exit with today's performance.