1. The Cubs should tank and/or blow it wildly, letting the Brewers run away with it all.
2. Barry Bonds should hit 756, just to save our fingernails, our patience, and our sanity.
3. Pedro Martinez should not be called up to the major leagues until September 2nd, as to be ineligible to pitch in the playoffs.
4. All ESPN/FOXSports execs who think that the world HAS to watch BOS/NYY whenever they are on should be shot.
5. The Royals should go on a 15 game winning streak, yet fall 2 games under .500, just for kicks and giggles.
6. The Boston Red Sox should put David Ortiz on waivers for 24 hours, and see the Bronx Bombers pay him $250 million for 8 years.
7. Ichiro, Jose Reyes, and Vlad should all go to one team, and then hit 1, 2, 3. And then A-Rod 4th.
8. Dayn Perry should wear a wig. Or at least a toupee.
9. Ben Sheets, and/or Chris Capuano, and/or Jeff Suppan, and/or Yovani Gallardo, and/or Claudio Vargas, and/or Dave Bush should throw a no-hitter/perfect game.
10. Prince Fielder should hit 4 HRs in one game, one being a grand slam, one being a 3-run home run, one being a 2-run home run, and one being a solo shot.
11. The Dodgers and Giants should have an all-out brawl, suspending all active players and coaches for a week with no appeals allowed.
12. The same thing should happen to the Cubs and Cardinals.
13. The same thing should happen to the Red Sox and Yankees.
14. Another ball will hit a speaker in the Metrodome, giving David Ortiz an inside-the-parker.
15. The Brewers should have the best record in the NL.
Brewers 3, Marlins 2, 13 innings In one of the wettest games I've ever seen, the Brewers hung in in South Florida for that amazing 24 hour win against the Marlins. After 1 hour and 42 minutes of rain delays, the umpire for the game decided to suspend the game after 10 innings until Wednesday at 6:05 CDT. With another great outing from our bullpen, a combined 3 innings from Greg Aquino, Elmer Dessens, and Fransisco "Coco" Cordero, ultimately getting the save, made sure the Marlins would not win that game. Oh, and it didn't hurt that Rickie Weeks scored the run in the 9th to tie, and the winner in the 13th. Also, For the first time since Derrek Lee did it on June 13th, 2004, Prince Fielder had 7 plate appearances, not AB, and reached safely every time, on 4 hits and 3 walks. This is also the first time in nearly 21 months that the Brewers defeated the Marlins. Season Series-Tied, 1-1
Brewers 5, Marlins 2, 9 innings. In the second half of our "doubleheader", We won yet again, behind a great outing of Dave Bush. going 6 innings, and allowing 1 run, he recieved his first win (1-1). However, he would have never recieved without Rickie Weeks, who scored twice on hits by teammates, and even had a 2-run homerun of his own, which adds to the total of 4 RDI, or Runs Directly Influenced (My Stat), and his 2 RDI last night. Not bad at all. Oh and Coco got the save again (3), dominating his opponents yet again. Also, the Brewers have hit a homerun in every game without extra innings (1-0 in extra innings). Season Series-Leading 2-1.
Now, let's go to commercial!
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Thanks, Bill. Here in the NL, we have a logjam in the Central. With the Reds, Cardinals, and Brewers all tied at 5-4, we look to the weekend to sort this out, with the Cardinals hosting the Brewers, and the Reds going to the Windy City to take on the owner-hungry Cubs. Over in the East, we have both the Best and Worst team in the Major Leagues, with Atlanta up at 7-1, and the Alfonso-less Nationals at 1-8. Talk about the full spectrum! And over in the West, we have another dogfight, but with only 1 division leader in the D-Backs, but the Dodgers and Padres are only a half game back.
Thank you Rickie. Now, I turn it over to our Senior AL Correspondent, J.J. Weeks!
Thanks, Bill. Here is the granddaddy of them all, the AL East. Who would have thought that the Blue Jays would be the Divison Leader right now? Not me. Now, we move a little West into the AL Central, where arguably the toughest divison in baseball has the Twins, Indians, White Sox, and Tigers all within a game of each other. Then, we have the Royals. (Psst, Bill, where are the Royals from?) Finally, we have the AL West, where the talent is somewhat average, and another team from LA is doing great. I suggest that we have a tourney involving the two NY teams, the two CHI teams, and the two LA teams in a round robin tourney. Wouldn't that be cool? (Too bad it won't happen.)
We'll be back with our last segment right after this commercial break!
When you're hungry, come downto Jimmy John's for a great sandwich!
And, we're back to BrewersCenter. Before we wrap it up, let's go to Prince Hall with "The Down-Lo on the DL!"
Thank's Bill. Today's patient, is 6'6'', 230 lb. SP for the St. Louis Cardinals, Chris Carpenter! Now, Carpenter was recently added to the DL, with mild arthritis and elbow impingement. While he is only supposed to be on the DL for 15 days, I expect it to be a possible 30-60 day DL trip, with rehab starts, and even possibly surgery. Now, many experts have said that if Chris will be out for an extended period of time, than the Cardinals will not have a shot at making the playoffs. Let's find out!
Sorry for my delayed absence from FOXBlogs (Though the fact that I can't remember the last time Rev wasn't BOTD is a good reason why). Sorry, Buffalo, for not returning your witty comments against my beliefs. And sorry, to everone who thought I was actually going to be right; I tend to screw up a lot. And I really don't need comments emphasizing that more. As I look on my many promises I made last month, they were all ruined. The Major League Top Teams would be way too time consuming, I forgot about the Forty-Eight, so all remaining contestants share the title, and the fact that I'm about a week and a half late on the Brewers is disappointing. Sorry.
For all those in ESPN Fantasy Baseball, a win/lose-lose situation happened. Apparently (Something happened, but I never noticed it.), ESPN had some problems with the Fantasy Baseball stuff, and things got screwed up. Ok...? So, because ESPN has to go all or freaking nothing, every transaction (And I have like 6 between 3 teams) is being nullified, every roster (bench->active) move, and whatever else happened since Opening Day is nullified. Apparently, this is all they could do to fix it. Oh, and all the scores are being changed retroactive to that Opening Day Roster. So, if half your starters were on the DL or didn't play half those days, too bad. Your Week 1 record just got screwed. However, they ARE giving us Free Fantasy Baseball INsider for the rest of the season, so, yeah.
Hey, when you get snowed out and your players are making snow angels in center field, come to your new home away from home, Miller Park!!! Cleveland, having a foot and a half of snow in their stadium, and 4 games with the Mariners being postponed (Till ???) (Also, wouldn't they have thought about this on day 2? Retards.), they decided to move the LA Angels of Anaheim... series to MP. Cleveland won, and their mascot got to ride the slide (I envy him). Oh, the first weekday Sausage Race between 2 AL Teams and either/or the First Sausage Race between 2 AL Teams in almost a deacade had America's Sausage, the Grand Ole Chorizo won. YAY!!!
Quick Note: As of Sunday's game (For the Brewers), 10 of our 31 runs came with the HR. Also, through Monday's game, we have homered in every game. Also through Monday's game, Geoff Jenkins has homered in 3 straight games. And we're only 3-4. I'm not surprised.
The NHL Playoffs (Go Sabres...?) are starting, so their goes ESPNews for the next 2 months. And, soon the NBA Playoffs (Go Suns...?) will start, so there goes SportsCenter. Great.
My 2 "Sense" for the day are that the NL Central is yet again the Division to beat in the NL, because the Braves can't win it all, the Mets may not get to the NLCS, The West is confusing, and the winner of the Central will be primed through the Dogfighting teams will be primed to take on anyone, as long as it isn't San Fransisco (I don't know why.) And, I believe that if you, being the commish of perhaps that best run pro sports league in the world, decide that everyone deserves to be blamed for one's actions, then take some pills, sit down with your the####, and give everyone free NFL Network, no matter how much Time Warner Cable will hate it, because you just made one of the stupidest decisions (I'm going to get something for that) ever, right next not getting the NFL Network on Time Warner Cable (God, I hate that.)
Thank you for tuning into THE Rundown. I'm Cho Rizo, and I wish you all a happy Bucks game.
In Vegas, you want to win. You plan on losing. Lucky for you, you start to win. Then, you start to win big. Then, you start raking (literally) in the money. Next, the big, happy free-fall.
You end up winning 1 million dollars, but then waste it all away in an hour. You never win another roulette bet, you #### in up during Craps, you renamed the slot machines "slots to take your money". Your not too happy.
The Twins were like that this year. They sucked at the beginning, no one giving them a snowball's chance in heck. Then, they pull off this unforseen 2nd half, slowly passing all but Kansas City, who only TIED for the worst in Baseball. We didn't see it possible passing Chicago, but, we didn't think the Yankees were going to make the playoffs either until the Boston Massacre 2.
We saw the unthinkable again for like the 4th time in the past month or so, with the Royals sweeping the Tigers to give the Twins the AL Central. Of course, the others were the beer glass almost running out, the absolute #### formerly know as the Windy City, and the Brewers. Ok, not them. It was the Pinstripes killing (and ending them up in 3rd place) Boston Red Sox. (I mean, who'd a thunk the Blue Jays would end up in 2nd?
But, the A's swept the Twins, including two at what is arguably the best home field (or at least WAS) advantage in Baseball. I was really rooting for them. This sucks.
However, all is not lost. We still have the Packers to root for (Quietly, it's sorta unheard of in Wisconsin rite now) and the Bucks, but I really don't care about them. Oh yeah, we have the Badgers. They're sorta good. I hate Michigan.
Well, that's the end of the Road for right now, but you'll have another fork coming up soon. Pick it up, please, it was mine. I was eating sushi, never a big fan of the chopsticks. Oh, yeah, the decision. Please choice the road less traveled...
Welcome to NFL season, everyone. Apparently, that's the new slogan thingy for the NFL this year. Very amusing. Well, sorry I've been inactive for a week.
First up today. 3 are signed up for my contest. I really want more. 2 posts ago, I brought it up. Sign up here, or there.
Second. Brewers won a series. Oh my god.
Third. The Dodgers lost a series. Oh my god. (Those two might be relevant. Hint Hint.)
Fourth. I hate Spanish. Not the people, or the place, or that ####. The language.
Fifth. This is probably getting really annoying, isn't it? Well...It's time for the first spinoff of the spinoff of the Blue Collar Crew, I believe.
Sixth. The first instalment of "I believo."
I BELIEVO.........
I Believo...that Charlie Batch will win tonight. I Believo...Tiger Woods won't lose until he wins the FedEx Cup next year. I Believo...That less than half of you know what the FedEx Cup is. I Believo...That Area 51 will someday have a sports team. I Believo...That Area 51 will actually be the stadium name, and it will be in Maine. I Believo...That I really need a break from life. Like Hawaii, an all-expenses paid suite, and absolutely everything I want. I would be so relaxed. Until I see the Packers got shut out and we lost Favre for the year. Then, I'm lost forever.
Happy BLEEPing Maddenoliday. I wonder how many of you idiots, before, or after you read this, will actually attempt to click on the "link". Nice try, ####. I've always wondered if people would actually click on it, even if it wasn't a profane word. Back to the "Oh So Joyful" Maddenoliday. Every year, millions of couch potatoes and video game addicts camp overnight at the nearest Target, Walmart, Best Buy, or wherever you buy it. They wake up, Run like idiots, to be the first to get the game in the store. I feel bad for the employees. Anyways, they rush home to put the game in their PS2, 360, PSP, GC, XBox, PC, or whatever and play it. And if they are employed, they will call in sick today. Speaking of which, I predict 65% of all employed men aged 18-45 will have taken off sick today. Spending hours attempting to find glitches and codes, and whatnot, they'll have bloodshot eyes, a full bladder, and an empty stomach by the end. This, of course, will continue for 5-6 months until EA decides that enough online play is enough. Then, the Maddenoliday will end. Alleluia. Oh, I play Madden too, but....I get it only every other year and I am not an addict. And I also have a bad feeling that when the PS3 comes out, Madden will no longer be available on my soon-to-be-outdated-PS2.
Now, for baseball. The Brewers, as I type vigorously in front of a blinking computer (Or maybe it's just my light fixture, I don't know which) are 5.5 games back of the Reds for the NL Wild Card. With...About 15 other teams. Unless the Brewers tank it, this week, including next Sunday, should be 6-0. 5-1 if Dontrell plays and is good. Other than that, this is the most crucial week ever. EVER. We NEED, WANT, HOPE, whatever, that we sweep the Rockies and the Marlins this week. We need it. Otherwise, we are officially done. No stats, nothing. We are done. This was our shot.
The Packers had a brilliant game against the Atlanta Falcons last Saturday. While sitting in a camper on a fuzzy CBS station, I watched 2 Favre TDs, one being so NFL Street-like, 2 Rodger TDs, with one of them maybe not including, but sure may be like the Madden 05 Juke Glitch, and then an INT return by some guy that I've never heard of. Oh, and we had a FG. Whoop-dee-flipping-doo.
Now, for the first installment of idiots who care. They may not be idiots, but I don't like them. I may recieve the absolute worst comments ever on this post, and I will regret this in due time, but I need to tell people. I'm weird like that. I'm sorry, Ricko, and xrooster, it's not you, I've just never really liked you. I'll still read your posts from time to time, but I've just never really liked some people in the world we call FOXBlogs. Hate me all you want, Criticize all you want. Just know that it isn't your fault, it's just me.
Currently the best new quote idea I've heard, I'll sign off today.
I'll be BIG sOmeDay, JUST like KeviN mENCH's head.
So, the Question of the Week is back. Sorry for the layoffs. Anyways, let's get to the real reason I'm wasting my time typing this. This week, it's not just one question, but several! WELL, you only have to answer the main one, but the more extras you do, the more devoted I see you are.
For example, if one person does only the main question really well, but the second person does an average job AND does two extra questions, the second one wins because that shows to me that they can think really well and that they can handle a variety of topics at once.
So, let's get to it!!!
MAIN Question (Importance = 4): If, for one day, you had the ability to interview Barry Bonds, what would it be like?
Extra #1 (Importance = 3): How many consecuitive innings have the Brewers bullpen not allowed a run? (You can have fractions, it doesn't have to be the ENTIRE inning)
Extra #2 (Importance = 2): The Brewers are playing the Marlins this weekend. How will each day turn out? Give me scores.
Extra #3 (Importance = 1): Who is the Brewers current starting SS? (This is REALLY EASY)
Ok, that's it. But, like I said, quality, pictures, amount, and more will determine who will be honored with the Chorizo plaque. (There is no plauqe. You have imaginations. Believe.) To win, you will need to post this on your site, leave a comment, and e-mail me at chorizo245@hotmail.com, by August 25th at 12:00 PM CST. For those of you too lazy to figure out what time that is, it's 1:00 on the East Coast, 11:00 in the moutains, and 10:00 on the West Coast. So, good luck!!
Oh yeah. Bonus if you help me think of a new closing quote.
Well, the Playoff Race has officially begun. We all know that the Reds Brewers will make the playoffs, but how are they doing? Let's take a look!
IF: Offense- Tony Graffanino and David Bell are probably some of the greatest acquisitions the Brewers have made in a LONG time. Graffanino is in the Top 3 for several key categories offensively for the Brewers since coming over. David Bell also gave Jeff Cirillo a much-needed breather. Prince is still ROTH candidate, and with his Homeruns, he's got one hell of a shot. Oh yeah. Bill Hall still leads Mil & all ML SS's w/ HRs. I like that shorthand. Grade- A
IF: Defense- They were awesome the last 2 weeks. Except for the 3-error game that they had, they didn't commit an error. Well, we knew they were going to happen eventually... Grade- A-
OF: Offense- Kevin Mench is doing OK. They finally replaced Geoff Jenkins with a tag-team of Gross and Hart. Clark is in his 2005 mode. Not the greatest, but OK. OK at best. Grade- B-
OF: Defense- Like the IF, they didn't have the errors. The 3 were spread out between the dirt and the grass, but they are still going solid. Grade- A-
SP: The rotation's back. Everyone's solid. Few bad outings. I say that's a BIG improvement. Grade- B
RP: Again, everyone is solid. I guess getting Ben and Tomo back really rested the bullpen. Great job, everyone. Except for Dan Kolb and Derrick Turnbow, that is. Grade- B-
CP: Cordero has a 0.00 ERA since coming to Mill-walk-eigh. 1 run, but that was not his baserunner. Oh yeah, he hasn't blown a save yet. Grade- A+
get Aflac! "AFLAC!!"
to Jimmy John's for a great sandwich!
