Welcome to "THE List".  Today, I feature "10 Ways Bobby Cox Should Celebrate His All-Time Ejection Record."

1.  He should throw the rosin bag like a hand grenade a home plate, but actually put a grenade in before the game.

2.  He should go up to the PA guy's booth and personally thank the home plate ump.

3.  He should punch the gatorade cooler  like he's boxing.

4.  He should 'steal' 2nd base.

5.  If he's shifty and quick enough, he should 'take' 3rd, too.

6.  He should break out his cell phone and call Bud Selig, requesting a big ceremony in Cooperstown.

7.  He should break out his cell phone and call Barry Bonds, mocking him that he got to his record first.  (Defunct only if 756 is reached.)

8.  He should break out a can of spray paint and mark the point on the ground where he was ejected.

9.  He should sign it, too.

10.  He COULD take it like a normal person, but where's the fun in that?

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Mr. Barry Lamar Bonds is closing in on one of the most microscoped event in a very, very long time.  The Home Run Record.  Let's take a look at what's surrounding this very unique event.

ESPN: The Worldwide Leader in Biases is at it once again.  I'm sorry, but when I'm HAPPY the Brewers are playing the Giants and Bonds, something's wrong.  Why?  I know for certain that the Brewers are pretty much guaranteed somewhere in the first 5 minutes of Sportscenter and every single edition of ESPNEWS.  Between this and the OCD-like love of the Yankees-Red Sox on TV every single night they play, I don't know which they like more. '

Mr. Henry "Hank" Aaron: He chose to not attend Mr. Bond's game in which he hits 756.  After watching "The Best of Mike and Mike in the Morning", I'm thinking that there's more than the smog around Mr. Bonds.  He just doesn't want it broken.  He wants to be the All-Time King, although with Mr. Fielder, Mr. Pujols, and Mr. Rodriguez coming, that won't come true.

Mr. Allan H. "Bud" Selig: I don't know what he's planning.  Maybe those kayakers in McCovey Cove are in one of those weird cults that, with Allan's help, will kill Barry right as he hits 754.  Wouldn't that be something?

Mr. Barry Lamar Bonds: The center of the newest soap opera: "As the Ball Turns." With each pitch, we sit on the edge of our seats to see that ESPN contraption that counts things go up 1 or 2 or 3.  He just quietly sucks in all the attention, kind of like a deaf T.O.  He knows it's there, but it's not like working out on a driveway.  He takes a backseat to his own TV extravaganza.

Now, there's the famous radio call that will come.  Here's a good idea for a contest.  Who has the best pretend 756 call?  Comment with your answer.  Here's mine.

"Could it be? Could it be? COULD IT BE?  IT IS!!!! IT IS!!! NUMBER 7-5-6!!!  I CAN'T BELIEVE MY EYES!  HENRY, MOVE OVER.  BASEBALL HAS A NEW KING, AND MR. BARRY LAMAR BONDS HAS THE CROWN!  Folks, I  have truly lived to see it all.  Good night folks, and never, EVER forget this moment.  Oh, I'm getting something now.  It's only the first inning.  Sorry."