SPRUCE HEAD, MAINE - If You All watch as much ESPN, ESPN 2, ESPNNEWS, ESPN Deportes ( yo no hablo espanol, either ), FSN, NESN, YES etc. as I do, you start notice things...

Like how there is a commercial for ED medication being shoved down our throats at nearly every first down, half time, end of each inning, and whatever the hell they call a commercial break in NASCAR. Actually, I suppose in NASCAR, they just sponsor the cars and events, right ? "The Merck car edged out the competition to capture the "Pole" in the Viagra 500..."

Jesus...

There is nothing better than seeing a former athlete pushing the stuff either. Raffy Palmeroid was hocking Viagra WHILE HE WAS STILL A PLAYER !!! What was the clubhouse like the day after that commercial aired?  Was there an assortment of rubber "junks" duct taped to his locker, along with a galaxy of different pills scattered all through his uniform pockets?

Anyhow, now that I've probably offended any male reader over 60 ( sorry Dad, I know you're the only one reading this anyway ), it's time to talk a little baseball. Empire, anyone ?

So with Hideki Matsui turning his wrist into a bowl of oatmeal last week, all the New York papers are buzzing with trade speculation like it's 3:30 P.M. on July 31st.  With names like Al Soriano, Torii Hunter, Shannon Stewart, Bobby Abreu, Ken (gulp) Griffey JR, and Miguel Cabrera (in a package with Willis, don't hold your breath on that one, fellow Yankee fans), fans are worked up into a frenzy over "who they'll have to pick"...

Bad news, brother Storm Troopers, it won't be that easy... 

The Yankees, free and able to correct any problem that may arise back in the late 90's and up to approximately Christmas 2004, do not have that luxury any more. If they can trade, say a bucket of balls, the hot dog vendor from the right field bleachers, and $10 M cash for Soriano or Hunter, then they would be set. However, the farm system is depleted, and the few good prospects they have, ( Phil Hughes, Eric Duncan, CJ Henry, Melky)  they claim they are saving for the future, which could very well be July, if Barry Zito or D-Train Willis become available. So do not expect the Yankees to snag a big, David Justice-esque name to fill the LF void, like it was yesteryear. Chances are, they will trade from their pitching depth when Octavio Dotel and Carl " is this where I pick up my check ? " Pavano return from the DL. The Yankees could trade a reliever to a team that has a backup OF they could move for relief. Names being tossed around are Kevin Millar (BAL), Craig Wilson (PIT), and my personal favorite, Eric Byrnes (ARZ).

Byrnes would give Damon a run for his money as the most gifted defensive OF the Yankees would have. He's in his late 20's ( which these days is considered young on the Death Star ), he has a little pop in his bat, ( typically a .275/ 10-15 HR/ 55-75 RBI guy, a perfect 7, 8, or 9 guy for the Yanks ) he's cheap ( D-backs signed him for 1 Y / $2M this past offseason ) and the best part is his nickname is Captain America, for being such a team oriented, gung ####, crash your face into the wall, coldclock and knock out the intruder in your apartment kind of guy ( true story ). He could be the shot in the arm the Yanks need both on the field and in the clubhouse. And he wouldn't require much, maybe a reliever Proctor or Henn ? That would be my bet...

Of course, the rumors will fly about the Griffey's and the Hunter's of the world. Perhaps Soriano, who reportedly is desperate to go back to the Bronx and still keeps an apartment in North Jersey, is another "high maybe" just because the Nationals new owners are so ready to dump him and would take a 3 or 4 pitcher, or a light load of pitching prospects in return. Soriano did say the only team he would willingly play OF for was the Yankees in an interview with Buster Olney a few months back during "Soriano-gate". At this point, it seems to me the owner of the Nationals " is just re-arranging deck chairs on the Titanic ", to quote Stephen Colbert.

As to what the heck is going on down in Florida is anybodys guess. Will Loria give the okay on trading Cabrera and Willis ? Would the Yankees mortgage the farm to acquire these two young superstars ? Heck yeah, in a New York minute ! The question is, is a package of Eric Duncan, Phil Hughes, Melky Cabrera, CJ Henry and say, Scott Proctor and $10M going to be enough ? Even with a healthy Matsui and Sheff, Cabrera could play LF, Damon CF, Matsui RF and DH Sheffield, if they even bring him back next year...

All in all, the stove is warming up for the Yankees... Just hope Cashman can do something to please Steinbrenner, and quick, or else he may be the next guy throwing a football through a tire in some ED commercial....

The Set-Up Man