I know, I know. It's March Madness. Don't worry, I flipped the calendar, but I would argue that May has much more pro sports Madness than March. Last night at the bar (how many times have I typed that?), we had from left to right on the televisions, a Yankees no-hitter, the Rangers/Sabres playoff game, the Mets/Marlins game and in the corner TV over the pool table, by special request from my volleyball friend Robin, the Nets were on.

There was a constant drone of cheering mixed with groaning with a panorama of sports (and beer) around us. That's way more madness than just NCAA hoops.

Intense Rangers fans outnumbered and out-cheered the rest of the bar fans. The Yankee fans, though holding onto a 9-run lead, were quiet, focused, praying the Rosary, nursing along the no-hitter. The Rangers fans were breathless from the excitement and far too many fans weren't paying attention to their dates.

The Mets fans, us, were squinting to see the score on the far TV but weren't too happy when we finally deciphered the deficit in runs. Robin, the only Nets fan, screamed like a woman possessed when they Nets closed the gap and...nobody cared.

I learned about this crazy "dropped stick" rule in the NHL when you're not allowed to pick up some guy's stick if he dropped it. Why you would is beyond me. I think if women made the rules, it wouldn't have to be a rule because a woman would just give the poor person their stick back and then play on. Men have to state, specifically, you may not touch the other guy's stick (read: so you can't beat them with it, break it in half over their heads or toss it willy-nilly into the crowd). Then again, if women made the rules, there might not be fighting in which case there'd be no actual game, as far as I understand the game.

Which is to say, not so much. Take for example...icing.

I thought the icing rule was gone in hockey. NOT! The guy who told us the "don't grab my stick" rule told us that rule, too...and, I might add, did not even touch the whole "grab my stick" double entendre opportunities in our discussion. That's how much these guys were into the game. I was so ready with the comebacks, too. Crickets. I've never felt so invisible.

Then we learned about the "no goalie in the net" thingie when they leave the open net, like a full court press, which was pretty cool but insane. And hey Rangers fans, uh, that was definitely a goal. **ducks flying debris**

The Rangers "won" after the controversial Sabres non-goal and we swiftly begged for the Nets, not Mets (raining and losing, not good on the HDTV) to move to the big screen. It was for naught - Nets lost.

And over there in the corner, the two lone Yankee fans looking desolate after another pitcher went down with an injury and a blown no-hitter. I felt the need to tell them the cause of their woes: Robin the Nets fan.

She said very, very outloud,  "Oh, they have a no-hitter!" So, it was her fault. Email me for Robin's phone number. Six weeks on the DL for the pitcher and the Yankee "performance enhancement" coach got the pink-slip.

My neck hurts from all the whipping around to see the action. But I feel satisified sports-wise. If I smoked, I might have desired a post-multiple game cigarette.

A Mets loss is easier to take when Ranger fans are happy (unhappy Rangers fans in a bar = not a good thing) and the Nets nearly won. And the Yankees? Well, I feel for you. Really, I do. Really. No, seriously.

Little League report:

Big night for my son as recounted by my husband, since I was at volleyball (bad mommy!)...

The little league games are 6 innings, so the other team scored 4 in the
bottom of the 6th forcing the game into extra innings.  Jeremy started the
game as the lead off hitter playing left field.  By the end of the 6th, he
had 3 at bats and was 0 for 2 with a walk and 2 strikeouts (both caught
looking).  No one scored in the 7th inning and in the top of the 8th there
were 2 outs with bases loaded when Jeremy came up to bat.  Normally you
would let a few pitches go to see if the pitcher will walk in a run, but
Joe the coach told Jeremy that the pitcher was throwing lots of strikes and to
be ready to swing.  Jeremy swung at the first pitch and missed.  Then he
swung at the 2nd pitch and hit a hard grounder in between short and third.
The shortstop manage to knock it down backhanded, but struggled to grab
it.  He threw it to third since he had no other play, but all runners were
safe.  The next batter made out and we were ahead by a run.  Pitcher
Tyler D. made it a nail-biter by loading up the bases in the bottom of the 8th with
2 outs, but then struck out the last hitter.

So my son hit in the winning run...and the coach gave him the game ball!

A great night in sports!