Now that the Bulls have officially drafted Derrick Rose (Bulls! Rose! Woo!), not to mention Sonny Weems (woo?) let's take a look at how YOUR USED TO BE WORLD CHAMPION CHICAGO BULLS! will get back to the playoffs.
Most Successful Team Role: Energy and scoring off the bench, a la Jannero Pargo. Likely looking at another season just on the cusp of the active roster, but a valuable scoring guard to have in the arsenal in case of injury.
Most Successful Team Role: The Juice-25 minutes of pure scoring off the bench. When Ben Gordon is on the floor, his only responsibility is to put the ball in the bucket. Also the man with the best shot at hitting a game-winner. A better version of the Toni Kukoc role. Should easily bag 20 points a night. That is where his NBA value lies. HIGH TEAM VALUE
Most Successful Team Role with Rose: Starting off guard, defender of opponent’s best perimeter player. Should be scoring at least 14 a night on high percentages. Solid three point shooting, great leadership, can play both guard spots. DEFINITE STARTER
Most Successful Team Role: 15 to 20 minutes of rabid-dog perimeter defense. Don’t really need his scoring, and probably don’t have too many shots for him. His NBA value lies in his perimeter defense, which is top-of-the-line.
Most Successful Team Role: Starting point guard. Floor leader and organizer, team leader, main ball-handler and points-distributor. Not sure what kind of scoring we can expect from him at the start of the season, but certainly 14-16 points seems like an achievable starting goal. MAIN TEAM SCORING comes from Deng and Gordon (min. 20 each), with Rose, Hinrich, Noah, and Nocioni all chipping in with double figures. DEFINITE STARTER
Most Successful Team Role: A defensive hound dog, a rebounder from the guard position, the number one man to give Hinrich a defensive breather. Can develop a knack for guarding key division perimeter threats James, Hamilton, Redd, and Granger, as well as other East perimeter players Wade, Arenas, Joe Johnson, Pierce, Igoudala, and Jefferson. HIGH TEAM VALUE
Most Successful Team Role: Scoring, defense, and energy...if there was a question as to Shannon Brown or JamesOn Curry making the active roster, Weems pretty much knocks them out.
Most Successful Team Role with Rose: Starting small forward. Main scoring threat along with Gordon. High percentage shooting matched with fantastic rebounding ability and skills around the rim leads to more efficient possessions, which leads to more shots for everyone on the team, which leads to more points and more pressure placed upon opponent to match pace. DEFINITE STARTER
Most Successful Team Role: With Rose, Gooden is the starting power forward. Can be this team’s Horace Grant: physical strength from the power forward position, ability to score in low double figures on high percentage shots, near ten boards a game while providing strong interior defense. Plays well next to Noah, Deng, and Beasley. Hustle player, very valuable big. HIGH TEAM VALUE
Most Successful Team Role: Backup center. While giving Noah a breather, can be counted on for efficient low-post scoring. Provides six more fouls on Dwight Howard. GOOD TEAM VALUE
Most Successful Team Role: Starting center. Rebounding, interior defense, shot-blocking threat that grants perimeter defenders the freedom to play tight without worrying about having no help near the rim should they get beat. Should easily chip in 10 points a night on dunks, tip-ins, and put-backs. DEFINITE STARTER
F Andres Nocioni, 6-7, 225
2008 stats: 82 G, 24.6 mpg, 13.2/4.2/1.2, .432/.364/.807
Most Successful Team Role: The Nocioni provider. Key, key bench igniter. 15 ppg with a threat for 25 on the right night. Rebounding, hustle, team and one-on-one defense, good foul shooting, can stretch defenses with three point abilities, and can play either forward position depending on desired lineup approach. Effectiveness does not depend on minutes; in baseball, he would be a long reliever who can start if needed while also being trusted in tight, late-inning situations. HIGH TEAM VALUE
Most Successful Team Role: Another big body off the bench, also providing quick breathers for frontcourt mates. Better rebounder than Nichols, with better size. Defense, hustle, rebounding.
Most Successful Team Role: The Hawk. Defensive missile, shot-blocker, rebounder, with skills to finish around the basket. Can defend the rim or the perimeter, making him a largely valuable big man. Provides energy, athleticism, and excitement off the bench, and shouldn’t need much time to make a contribution. A Cliff Levingston for the next generation, and could develop into a guy who plays D the way Dominique played O. HIGH TEAM VALUE
Let's assume right off the bat that Curry, Brown, Nichols, and Simmons in no way figure into the final roster. That leaves seven guys in the backcourt and eight in the frontcourt, bringing us to step one...
1. Get rid of Larry Hughes in any way possible. If that means an Eddie Robinson-style buyout, fine. But unless Del Negro and Pax can convince Hughes that his best team role is 15 minutes of madman defense with nearly no dribbling nor shooting allowed, he needs to go.
2. Solve the never-ending Duhon-Gordon problem. The Bulls have had an identity crisis ever since the 2nd round pick Duhon beat out the 3rd overall pick Gordon for the other starting guard spot. Assuming the Bulls keep Captain Kirk (and let's hope they do), both Du and Ben are now on the bench. Now we have to figure out how to use each of them. And so...
2A. Re-sign Duhon and use him as Rose's backup and the leader of the second unit. It can't be a coincidence that Duke went to the next level when the freshman Duhon took Nate James' spot in the starting lineup and began running the point for Jason Williams, Dunleavy, Battier, and Boozer, nor can it be a coincidence that the Bulls broke their 0-9 streak in 2005 and moved towards the playoffs when the rookie Duhon was given the other starting guard spot over Gordon/Piatkowski. (To be fair, Deng was also moved in at the same time.) This team needs Chris Duhon. I mean, he's their Chris Duhon. And that's all I'll say on that. As for Gordon...
2B. Ben Gordon's problem has not been his game, but rather how the Bulls have used him. We all know his deficiencies: too small to guard most 2-guards, not a good defender regardless of size, poor point guard skills, can't run the floor, not a good rebounder, very streaky scorer. However, he still has a great deal of NBA value because he is a 20 point scorer who can go for 40. While his value to this team is significantly greater than that of Hughes, their situations are similar: each guy needs to be corralled in order to be of value to the Bulls. In Gordon's case, he needs to come off the bench for 20-25 minutes a night and have no other responsibilities than coming off screens, catching and shooting, driving and getting fouled. SCORE! SCORE! SCORE! That's it. If he can't deal with that, then he has to go...if he can deal with that, he will be a better version of Toni Kukoc. It's fitting that Gordon took Toni's #7. Change the height, color, and nationality, and you've got the same player.
3. Acquire a veteran forward/center. Joe Smith was doing a fantastic job for this team before they shipped him in the Wallace deal. This team needs one more big anyway...bringing back Smith or someone of the like seems like a must.
4. We took a lot of heat for choosing Wallace over Tyson, especially since Wallace bombed and Chandler has turned into a double-double near-Olympian with New Orleans. And while I am thrilled to see him playing well, I won't say that things are as black-and-white as to say "Pax F'd up by letting him go." Chandler has found a way to cut his fouls way down on the Hornets...he has been given more minutes...and, HELLO!, he has arguably the best PG in the League setting him up and an all-star 4 playing next to him down low. Which brings us to Rose...
...and the fact that he immediately makes everyone else on the roster more effective. He gets Tyrus and Noah (and Gooden) a ton of easy dunks. He creates open shots for Kirk, Ben, Luol, and Noce. He eliminates the possibility of Gordon ever being asked to run the point. He eases the pressure on Tyrus to be a big-time scorer. And he gives the Bulls one more defensive option at guard, along with Kirk for the 1s and Thabo for the big 2s.
Basically, Rose creates order. The Hinrich/Duhon/Gordon guard question is gone, Thomas is no longer a problem as either a player or an attitude because he will absolutely LOVE playing with Rose, and he eases the leadership problem which will allow Deng, Gordon, and Hinrich just focus in on the strongest aspects of their games.
LINEUP OPTIONS with ROSE
Best Starting Lineup
PG Rose SG Hinrich SF Deng PF Gooden C Noah
Best Second Unit
PG Duhon SG Gordon SF Nocioni PF Sefolosha C Thomas
Best Small Lineup
PG Duhon SG Rose SF Nocioni PF Deng C Thomas
Best Big Lineup
PG Hinrich SG Sefolosha/Deng SF Thomas PF Noah C Gray
Best Shooting Lineup
PG Rose SG Gordon SF Deng PF Nocioni C Noah
Best Defensive Lineup
PG Hinrich SG Sefolosha/Hughes (again, hopefully he'll be gone) SF Nocioni PF Thomas C Noah
Best Crunch Time Lineup
PG Rose SG Gordon/Hinrich (depending on need) SF Deng PF Gooden C Noah
Some friends and I were throwing around a question, so I figured I would flip it on here and see what people think:
Could the Bulls get a 1st round draft pick in this year's draft for Ben Gordon in a straight up trade?
I was the lone dissenter...no one else thought that we could get a 1st rounder for him, and under your standard "Any-Guy-I-Draft-In-The-First-Round-Will-Be-A-Supe rstar" pre-draft GM mindset, no one wants to be the club that drafted a short, streaky 2 guard who has only one NBA skill and gets paid lots. But under a realistic mindset, given the scenario that Ben Gordon--a guy who can be expected to score 20 with the occasional 40 (and the occasional 10)--can be drafted in the 2008 draft, wouldn't someone in the late teens/early 20's draft Gordon? Cleveland at 19 couldn't use another scorer who, with LeBron around, would never be asked to run the point? Orlando at 22? San Antonio or New Orleans or Memphis?
Excerpt from "Bear Down and Get Some Runs"
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FEBRUARY 16, 2005
My phone rings.
“Hey man!” I say. I am greeted with a huff.
It’s Dan Lichtenstein, previous owner/wearer of my North Stars hat, and as soon as he huffs, I know what’s coming. Not the content, but the act: the Dan rant. Dan is one of the nicest, most thoughtful, most considerate people you’ll ever meet, and generally he’s pretty calm. But when something takes hold of him, it really takes hold, and that’s when you know a Dan rant is coming. The Cubs do it to him worst; Dan is one third of my Holy Trinity of Cubs fans, the other two being Ari and Jonny C. When Dan gets going on the Cubs, it’s chaos. “Let me tell you,” is his normal starter, and he says it in a stern and serious manner, and then he’s off, riding a Big Opinion to a seemingly overdone conclusion.
He’s silent for a beat after his huff, and then he begins.
“Let me tell you what…” And we’re off. I’m almost laughing already, giddy in anticipation. “If the Cubs get Barry Bonds, I’m done. I’m done. That’s it.”
I laugh. Dan’s awesome. “First off, why would the Cubs get Bonds? Is there talk? And second, what do you mean you’re ‘done?’”
“No, there’s no specific talk, but they were talking about him on the Score, and how would you feel if your team signed Bonds, and most people were cool with it, and it was just sickening. Have some class! The guy’s a cheater! If the Cubs signed him, that’d be it.”
“What would you do?”
“I’d become a Twins fan. I like the Twins.”
“You’d really give up the Cubs?”
“Oh absolutely. For Bonds? Absolutely.”
While finding a favorite player is like falling in love, finding a favorite team is different. There’s love with a team, but it’s a familial love rather than a romantic one. You’re born into your favorite team like you’re born into your family, which, of course, is exactly the case, because most people get their teams from their family. Your team is just like your family, in that you stay with each through good and bad…or, to be cynical: you’re stuck with it, so you’d better learn to like it.
Of course, there’s an element of romantic love as well, but that tends to be more on a year by year basis. I love the Cubs like family, but I fell in love with the 2001 Cubs in a more intimate way. They hooked me, and surprised me, and as that was the last summer I spent home before returning to camp, and as they made a serious run at the division title despite being a mish-mosh team that seemed to be held together by clothespins, and as I watched and listened to nearly every game that season…well, I fell in love. Plain and simple. I loved the 2001 Cubs. I love the Cubs. That’s as simple as I can put it.
Still, it always gets back to family, and because we are by nature a loyal breed, we stand by our family through all difficulties. When you’re a kid, your team protects you. You don’t know much about wins and losses and playoffs and championships. You just know these heroic players who live on television and in baseball cards and in yourself every time you pick up your glove or your ball. For a little while, at least, everything is great.
But then it happens. Something goes wrong. McMahon is sent to the Chargers, and the Cubs lose to San Fran, and for some reason the Bulls just can’t beat Detroit. That was the worst for me. When we lost Game 7 in 1990, I cried. It was May, I was eight and a half, and my team had just lost to Detroit in the playoffs for the third straight season. And I just started crying.
Why didn’t I pack it in right then and there, I wonder? Why didn’t I stalk out of Donny Burba’s TV room, head out the door, down the street, and never watch another Bulls game again? After all, when you’re eight and a half and something makes you cry, that’s it. You don’t ever want to deal with that thing ever again, be it a creepy carnival booth or a clown or the climactic scene of Lady and the Tramp or an orange Jolly Rancher. Crying as a kid is a tremendously lonely feeling, and when you’re eight and a half it’s even worse because you’re old enough to feel strongly that “crying is for babies.” And yet there I was, crying in clear view of my closest friends. I could have very easily decided to be done with it all, but looking back, I don’t even remember that as being anywhere near to a realistic possibility. I never even considered it. It wasn’t an “I’m-stuck-with-them” realization, as I was still far too young to be that bitter…I must have just had a sense somehow that this was my team for good or ill. I was given my teams by my family and by my region, and that was that.
Later, we recognize the feeling as responsibility. That’s what this is all really about. Being a fan of a team is a responsibility. If this were a movie, the sports fan would be Dustin Hoffman, and the sports team would be his son. All of a sudden Meryl Streep is gone, and now he’s got to raise this kid all on his own, obstacles be damned. I have to do this. That’s what it feels like to be a diehard. I have to root for this team. As a kid though, it’s different. It’s about the privilege. As a kid you get to root for your team. I started that way with the Bulls. But then things go bad as they eventually do, and you begin to feel responsible for them. That’s what happened with me; when we hit Detroit, I started aging like mad. In 1987, I was a kid and the Bulls were my team. They were big and fun and mine, a big red toy. Three years later, in 1990, I felt like a teenager forced into the burden of raising his younger brothers on his own because his father is dead and his mother is drunk. Everything had shifted. It was up to me. After all, if I don’t root for this team, who will? Sports teams only matter because people care about them. If nobody cares for the Bulls, then they don’t exist. I have to care for them. Somehow I felt like it was my responsibility to get them past Detroit, like it was up to me specifically…and yet, of course, I had no actual control over them, which makes responsibility rather difficult. How can you be responsible for something you do not control? Well, we don’t know. We just know that it’s what we have to do.
But maybe it’s less about responsibility and more about loyalty. Leaving the Bulls after Game 7 would have been like abandoning a friend upon hearing that he has cancer. It’s cruel. But then again, loyalty is about choice, and there was no choice. This was about a feeling of deep connection, as if the Team and I were physically connected, a feeling that I was tied to my Team in such a strong way that to purposefully break those bonds would be to destroy something that could not be rebuilt. Something within myself. If the Bulls are losing to Detroit, then I am losing to Detroit. There is no leaving, no escaping, becaue it’s you. You are that team, so even if you were to pack it in out of frustration, all you’d really be doing is hiding from yourself. The team still exists, and it’s still a part of you. You’re just ignoring it. You give yourself to your team for good or ill, and that’s that. It’s family. It’s like when your parents got really mad at you for doing something wrong, yet they tempered their anger by reassuring you that “even though I’m really mad at you now, I still love you very much. Even when we’re mad at each other, we’re still family, and we still love each other.” That’s what it was like after Game 7…like sensing that even though the Bulls had hurt me, they were still my team and I still love them.
It’s not that I didn’t have a choice. It’s that the feeling itself, the feeling of connection that draws me to the team, was and is stronger than the freedom to choose. I’m drawn to them, and I am connected to them. Even at eight and a half I realized this was true…
So to give up on your sports team, particularly after supporting them for 30 years, particularly when you’ve already found ways to get over Leon Durham, San Fran, Maddux going to Atlanta, giving up on Rafael Palmeiro and Luis Gonzalez, the Braves’ sweep in ’98, Woody not developing, Corey not developing, Grace going to Arizona, Stoney getting canned, Games 6 and 7 against Florida, Bartman, the ’04 collapse, and now this extended Sosa thing ending with him leaving on awful terms…well, to get through all that, and then be moved to abandon them, that’s meaningful. Will Dan do it? No, because the Cubs will never sign Bonds. I just can’t see how it would happen. But if it did happen, then would he? I think so. Most definitely. And we’d never get him back.
It’s a horrible thing to cut your sports team loose as an adult. To actually reach a point at which you can no longer stand the pain of your team, a point at which your team has betrayed you so many times that you feel it best to leave them completely…simply awful. The bonds have been broken, the team is guilty, and the fan is the helpless victim.
That’s the thing about the fan-team relationship: no matter what, the Team always holds the upper hand. Many fans give up on the specifics of their teams without much fight. There is no short term loyalty, and certainly no patience. Fans give up on and turn against players and coaches much too quickly and much too harshly. But they never give up on the Team, the actual franchise. For them, there is no shortage of loyalty or patience. That replenishes itself. But a little bit should go a long way, and when Teams begin abusing the never ending flow of loyalty and patience, that’s when fans turn. Maybe they internalize it, feeling that it is somehow their fault that things got so bad. Or maybe not: maybe it’s all betrayal and nothing more. But most things in life are judged based on performance. Your car stops working, you buy a new one. It’s raining with thunder and lightening and high winds, you cancel your golf game. Sports teams are no different: built on performance. Your quarterback can’t stop throwing interceptions, you cut him and find someone else. It’s not about loyalty. It’s about performance. That’s how you operate with your team.
But your Team, well, that’s different. Your Team is also judged by performance, but it’s not an athletic performance. It’s an emotional and ethical one.
After all, you stick by your Team through everything, riding all the highs and lows, and sometimes the highs are six titles in eight years, and sometimes the lows are no championships for almost 100. You roll with it all. You have no choice, and you don’t even want one, because the highs and lows are about the team, but the Team provides only Highs…that’s the idea, anyway. The payoff is the experience, the lifetime of rooting. That’s the gift. That’s the High. You judge your team based on performance, but you judge your Team based on love. So to actually cut ties with a Team…it’s awful. It’s giving up on someone you love in order to protect yourself, and it happens when the pain that comes with the responsibility of fandom is greater than the joys of living the Team. And that is something I hope to never experience.
Haven't been here in a while...figured I'd drop in with some Stat Dork love.
As has been the case since the 2004-05 season, my Bulls have started slowly. Their 1-5 start is hardly anything new (0-9 in '05, 12-19 in '06, 3-9 in '07), but the expectations of a 49-win team that swept the defending champs and improved in the off season mixed with the possibilities of a Kobe trade have begun to drag this team down.
There is word that Scott Skiles might change the lineup for tonight's game at Phoenix, the first of six for the Bulls' annual Circus Trip, possibly moving Ben Gordon to the bench, Luol Deng to the 2, and Andres Nocioni to small forward. That would be interesting, giving the Bulls a lineup of Captain Kirk, Luol, Noce, Ty Thomas, and Big Ben. But consider the numbers of the past four years:
BULLS RECORD WHEN...
Chris Duhon starts
81-59, .579
Ben Gordon starts
50-50, .500
Ben Gordon as sixth man
82-63, .566
Andres Nocioni starts
57-54, .514
Andres Nocioni comes off the bench
71-56, .559
There is no question that Kirk, Luol, and Ben Wallace will start. The questions are then between Du and Ben at the other guard spot, and Noce and Ty Thomas at the other forward spot. To me, the answer to Du/Ben split is obvious: start Duhon. Du has won the job from Ben Gordon twice already, despite Gordon's higher draft status, contract, and ppg. I'd say run a lineup of Du, Kirk, Lu, Tyrus, and Big Ben due to the Bulls' success when Noce comes off the bench, but Noce's game does not seem to be affected by the start/not start split nearly as much as Gordon's, and Skiles has said that when he benches Gordon he likes to start Noce to balance out the scoring.
Part of the lineup problem stem from Ben Gordon's limits as a player. He is clearly not a point guard, but he gives up at least three inches to most 2 guards. He has become a good rebounder for his size and position (a shade under 5 boards per game), but he is a bad defender and an erratic ball handler. He is a scorer, pure and simple, and his streaky shooting means that his points are not directly correlated to his minutes. He's best coming off screens and going one-on-one with only the basket in his mind; when he tries to run the offense he often resembles a wind-up car that must be aimed PERFECTLY lest it crash into a wall. Perhaps there is an issue with Gordon and Thomas starting together, as they are both "energy guys" who can be a bit wild...
And that makes me wonder about Thomas. Has he earned his starting job? I think he can be a terrific player in this league, but he has not shown to be consistent enough as of yet. Meanwhile Joe Smith has turned into a terrific addition, consistent, steady, productive. But again, the scoring thing. And so perhaps the best lineup for the Bulls right now would look like this:
PG Duhon
SG Hinrich
SF Deng
PF Nocioni
C Wallace
BENCH order:
Gordon
Smith
Griffin
Thomas
Sefolosha
Noah
Gray
Let Thomas continue to earn his minutes. It will make him a much better player, and it will make the Bulls a better team in the immeidate. Deng and Noce are the primary scorers in the starting lineup, with Kirk chipping in and Du running the offense. Noce matches Thomas's energy but brings in scoring and more self-control; as much fun as it is to see Tyrus sky for a weak-side block or an ally-oop, he misses a lot of easy plays on both sides of the ball, so to speak. This is also a terrific defensive lineup, and it's always best to start with defense, particularly with this team.
Then, with the offense in a steady, productive pace and the defense clamping down, go to the bench. Move Kirk to the point and let Gordon shoot, shoot, shoot. Maybe go small with Ty Thomas at center (though actually, he's 6'9, just like Wallace, giving up strength and weight but picking up size, what with the hops), steadying and balancing him with Joe Smith at the 4. This Bulls team is very malleable. Take a look:
THE DEFENSIVE LINEUP
PG Duhon
SG Hinrich
SF Nocioni
PF Thomas
C Wallace
THE MOTOR LINEUP
PG Sefolosha
SG Gordon
SF Nocioni
PF Thomas
C Noah
THE BIG LINEUP
PG Hinrich/Sefolosha
SG Deng
SF Thomas
PF Smith
C Wallace
THE OFFENSIVE LINEUP
PG Hinrich
SG Gordon
SF Deng
PF Nocioni
C Noah
THE REBOUNDING LINEUP
PG Hinrich
SG Deng
SF Thomas
PF Noah
C Wallace
Think about the possibilities of Ty Thomas chasing guys on the perimeter, or Luol Deng posting up 6'6 2 guards, or Jo Noah, Thomas, and Ben Wallace teaming up in the front court. But nothing works if this team does not begin shooting the ball better. The Bulls have only cracked the 40% mark in field goals once this season, shooting 45.9% against Detroit, their lone win. In their five losses, they are shooting 36.6% from the field. Include the Detroit win, and that number skyrockets to 38.1%, worst in the league and way down from last season's 45.7%. Once they start shooting better (and why that will happen, or why they've shot so poorly thus far, is anybody's guess), things will straighten out, and we will see exactly how much fun this roster could be.
I did a running diary a year ago when the Blip was running on nuvo.net, and since a good friend of mine is currently canoing in the Canadian wilderness, I figured I'd do one for him, since he enjoyed my NBA All-Star commentary so much from 2006. And since I was going to be doing it anyhow, I figured I may as well just put it up here.
6:01 PM-Ben and I are discussing the Bulls' possibilities. I still like Noah, while Ben loves Hawes. But what if we trade the Bens and somehow scoop Brewer AND Noah? That would be super cool. And where will KG end up? My guess is that he'll be moved some time tonight. Exciting stuff...
6:04-Steven A. is already annoying me. Along with the mute button and the SAP button, how bout an annoying announcer button? That would be excellent. The Crew from left to right is Jay Bilas (annoying), Steven A. (beyond annoying), Mark Jackson (tolerable), and Mike Tirico (underrated annoying).
6:05-Oden to Portland is apparently done, as of yesterday, which means that Portland now has a frontline of Randolph, Aldridge, and Oden. Yikes.
6:06-Ric Bucher, who broke the Oden to Portland move, says that KG will not be traded tonight. So how in the hell can Minnesota draft when they don’t even know if they will have their biggest star?
6:07-Andy Katz says that Seattle is ready to ship Ray Allen to Boston for Delonte West, Wally World, and the #5 pick, giving Seattle Durant and the #5. Yowza. If that goes through, it sounds like Seattle will take Jeff Green after Horford goes third to Atlanta and Conley fourth to Memphis. ESPN also says that Atlanta will take Acie Law at 11, and that somehow, that is a done deal. What??
6:11-There are billboards in Portland that read “HONK ONCE FOR ODEN…HONK TWICE FOR DURANT.” Excellent.
6:12-First Dickey V appearance. He compares Oden to Ewing, Hakeem, Zo, and Duncan. He is yelling.
6:13-Bilas’ Top Five Available: Oden, Durant, Conley, B. Wright, and Horford. According to Bilas, Jeff Green has “size, can pass, and can make the extra pass.”
6:15-Yi is apparently pronounced without the “Y,” and more than apparently does not want to go to Milwaukee, which is, apparently, where he is headed. This should create some fun tension between the republic of China and Milwaukee.
6:20-Joakim Noah is dressed like the lost member of OutKast, all in the name of “representing my city (New York) the right way, and I think I did it.” He is wearing a huge pinkish-redish bowtie with his hair parted down the middle and a cream #### suit. Hotness. Meanwhile, our other roommate Ryan and our good friend Rashaun show up.
6:23-Ben has flipped to the Simpsons. It’s the one where Lisa takes Homer to the hippie joint and they lay in the large relaxation coffins, the one that Ralph mistakes for a whale egg. Should I ask him to flip back?
6:25-First appearance of two of my most annoying ESPN personalities: Rachel Nichols and Jim Gray. Fortunately, they are bookending one of my favorites: Sal Pal, reporting, as always, from Philadelphia. I love Sal Pal. And now over to the little weasley schmuck himself, Jim Gray reporting with the Lakers. And now, in Oakland, there are reports that Golden State has entered the KG trade.
6:29-Ben flips to Star Wars on HBO during a commercial. Leia tells Luke that Han has to follow his own path. Ryan: “Aren’t they brother and sister?” Me: “Yeah, but they don’t know it yet.” Ben: “When Luke found out, I bet he thought it was pretty gross.” Me: “Yeah, he probably beat it to her a couple of times.” We flip back to the draft, where Goldberg the Goalie is starring in a Pennzoil commercial.
6:32-The Commish is in the house. “Welcome to the 2007 NBA Draft, here at Madison Square Garden, home of the Knicks and Liberty.” Nice. Stern is stuttering for some reason. He seems flappable.
6:33-Portland is now on the clock. Five minutes…that’s all they get. No #### NFL posturing with their 15 minute first round picks.
6:34-Tirico smirks as he refers to Oden as “the new centerpiece of the Trail Blazers.” (“How’s that working out for you?” “What?” “Being clever.” “Good.” “Then keep it up then.”)
6:36-Here comes the Commish. Ben: “Al Horford…” Nope. It’s Oden. Big round of applause from the fans in New York. Durant looks excited and legitimately happy.
6:37-Tirico just referred to Seattle as the “Seattle Sonics.” I pain to think that my children will grow up in a world where the Sonics aren’t Super. They’re getting New York Knickified. It’s sad.
6:38-The guys in the Trail Blazers war room are shown congratulating themselves. Yes…very impressive scouting fellas. They hold up an Oden jersey, which is #52.
6:39-Steven A: “At the end of the day, YOU CAN’T-TEACH-7-FEET! YOU REALLY CAN’T!”
6:39-Oden tells Stu Scott that he got some hand sanitizer so that he wouldn’t give Stern his cold. If Purell is good enough for Greg Oden, then dang nabit, it should be good enough for campers. First awkward question, from Stu: “Who looks older, you or LeBron James?”
6:41-The Boston-Seattle Ray Allen/#5 deal has gone through, and Boston will select Jeff Green for the SUPERSonics.
6:42-Durant is officially taken by Seattle. Durant’s mother is very proud of her son and her super genes. Atlanta is on the clock.
6:45-Bilas says that Durant will lead the league in scoring “at some point, and it will be sooner rather than later.” Durant’s favorite quote: “Hard work beats talent when talent fails to work hard.” Uh…
6:47-Portland GM Kevin Pritchard says that their game plan on determining the Oden/Durant pick was to “follow the process, keep an open mind, and find a conclusion.” This man is a genius.
6:48-As expected, the Hawks take Horford, which gives them five forwards selected in the first round in the last four years (The Joshes in 2004, Marvin Williams in 2005, Shelden Williams in 2006). The thinking is that you can never have too many players who do the same thing. Or something. And they have now passed on Chris Paul, Deron Williams, and Mike Conley.
6:51-Ben, having seen that the Cavs have no picks today: “I’m glad I’m not a Cleveland fan today.” And then, quickly realizing what he’d said: “Or ever.” Mark Jackson says that the Hawks should not have taken a point guard, nor should they have taken another forward. Thanks Mark.
6:52-The Commish announces that the Grizzlies have taken “Michael Conley,” and so, naturally, Tirico follows it up by calling him “Michael Conley, Jr.”
6:56-Some dumb announcer broad, to Mike Conley, Sr: “You have never been an agent before. What makes you the right person to represent Mike Conley and Greg Oden?”
6:57-Boston takes Jeff Green, who is on his way to Seattle with Durant. They still have Rashard Lewis, who they must be moving. All of a sudden Seattle and Portland are potentially loaded. Green is talking to Stu Scott while wearing his Celtics hat despite both saying that he will soon be wearing a “different shade of green,” and Stu is asking him about his excitement to play with Durant. Why even give him a Celtics hat? All in the name of proper procedures, I suppose.
7:02-I get a text from my lone Trail Blazer friend: How do you like the draft so far
My response: How do you like the Sonics snagging Durant and Green and still having Lewis to shop?
Let him suck on that.
7:04-The Bucks take Yi. So far, this draft that was supposed to be so crazy has gone pretty smoothly, but I expect things to pick up some now with Minnesota on the clock. 32% of the ESPN.com online pollsters think Yi will be a bust. Interestingly, GM Larry Harris has not seen Yi play.
7:10-T’Wolves still haven’t picked yet, even though their time is up.
7:11-Wolves take Brewer, and now Charlotte is on the clock with Noah, Hawes, and the Wrights on the board. Ben wants Hawes. I want Noah, but I’d be happy with Hawes. Bulls baby! Bulls!
7:17-M. Jeff is on the board, and sounds interested in doing something good. ESPN reports that Jordan is “actively interested in the Draft.” Good to know that the team president is interested in the draft.
7:18-In a shocking turn of events, M. Jeff selects another Tar Heel in Brandan Wright. And that means…YOUR CHICAGO BULLS ARE NOW ON THE CLOCK!!!
7:22-Bulls fans in the house with signs that read THANKS ISIAH and IN PAX WE TRUST. Spike Lee is in the house. He looks smiley yet agitated.
7:25-And one year later, Joakim Noah is a Bull. Florida is now the first school to have three players drafted in the top nine. I’m happy, even though Hawes would’ve looked good. Are we going to keep Wallace? What’s going on with Ben and Noce? We shall see…
7:33-Back from the break, with Hawes going 10th to the Kings. Just found out that Hawes as a GOD BLESS GEORGE BUSH bumper sticker on his car. I’m not so upset now.
7:38-Despite the endless comedic possibilities, the Hawks do not go for another forward and take point guard Acie Law. ####s. Now we find out that Law is Ernie Banks’ nephew. Nice.
7:44-Steven A says that Billy King now has a chance to build the 76ers in his image…(incompetent? Balding? What?)
7:46-76ers take Thaddeus Young, the sixth freshman taken in the first round, extending the record set at five with Hawes. I have a feeling that Young is going to be a real surprise considering how highly he was touted coming into college.
7:52-New Orleans takes Julian Wright, which makes the Hornets:
PG C. Paul
SG P. Stojakovic
SF J. Wright
PF D. West
C T. Chandler
…with Bobby Jackson, Desmond Mason, Rasual Butler, Devin Brown, and our boy Jannero Pargo coming off the bench. Not bad.
7:59-The Clippers take Al Thornton. I am officially bored.
8:05-The Pistons take Rodney Stuckey. So far, the only somewhat surprise of what was supposed to be a an exciting draft was the Ray Allen trade. I’m starting to regret taking work off for this. I could be making money right now. Bollocks.
8:10-The Wizards take Nick Young. I don’t care. All I’m interested in now is who the Bulls will take with their two 2nd round picks and whether or not any more trades will go down.
8:16-The Nets take Sean Williams. I still don’t care. In other news, Frost, Swiryn, and the Villa have just called. That’s always fun. Gotta love camp.
8:23-The Warriors take Marco Belinelli. Still don’t care. Continued phone call with Frost and Swiryn much more exciting.
8:29-Javaris Crittenton to the Lakers. No one cares.
8:35-Jason Smith to the Heat. Mitch Kupchak is talking to Jim Gray. I couldn’t care less.
8:42-My call with Frost and Swiryn is over. The 76ers take Daequan Cook. I won’t even say it. (So bored.) With the selection of Cook, the 2007 National Championship between Florida and Ohio State now has six first round picks, tying the record from the 2005 UNC-Illinois game in 2005 (Marv Williams, Deron Williams, Felton, May, McCants, Luther Head). Rod Thorn is talking to Mike Tirico. He looks like he’s been awake for at least 50 hours. Goo. In other news, Joakim Noah is still a Bull. Holla!
8:48-Jared Dudley goes to the Bobcats, giving Charlotte an overstacked frontline of Gerald Wallace, Sean May, Okafor, Brezec, Matt Carroll, Brandan Wright, and Dudley. Dickey V just called MJ “Michael the Magnificent.”
8:49-Meanwhile, the Knicks have sent Channing Frye and the Franchise to Portland for Zach Randolph, Dan Dickau, and Fred Jones. Spike is very excited. Kennison probably is as well. Still waiting to hear from him. Spike was just asked about the Knicks’ 23rd pick, and he is pulling for “the brothuh from DePaul” Wilson Chandler. Knick fans are going off, as is Steven A who says that fans have “every reason to have faith in [Isiah],” but only on draft night. ESPN tells us that Isiah has traded away 25 players and traded for 20 in his four year tenure with the Knicks. And here we go…
8:52-Knick fans are already booing before the selection. Wow. Stern just announced that the brothuh from DePaul will be going to New York, and now the Knick fans are excited. These people have officially gone crazy. The Suns are now on the clock, and there are indeed some interesting players still on the board. Uh…uh…
8:56-Well, that’s a new one. The Blazers have just bought the 24th pick from the Suns for cash. Not sure how much.
8:58-The Suns have selected Rudy Fernandez from Spain for the Blazers. Still no comment from Kennison. I will most definitely not be continuing on for the second round. This is too much.
9:04-Steven A says that the Jazz need “a shooter or a ####er.” I’m bout ready to 2-4-6-8 this thing. Here comes the Commish: Morris Almond from Rice. Cool. I have no idea who that is.
9:12 Aaron Brooks to the Rockets. When this first round is over, I am out of here. This is brutal. Why is that? I guess because it’s like moving from the NFL’s first round to the NFL’s fourth round in three hours but without the joyful absurdities of Mel Kiper. We now hear that Boston is also getting the 35th pick from Seattle for the Ray Allen/Jeff Green trade.
9:20-Aaron Afflalo to the Pistons, which means that Detroit has just drafted their Billups/Rip replacement duo if needed. Well done. Kennison is “not sure” how he feels about the Randolph move, despite agreeing that Randolph is “a loon.” Possible Bulls 2nd round picks: Big Baby, Alando Tucker, Marc Gasol. We will see…
9:25-The Spurs keep it international with Tiago Splitter, who was originally plugged as coming out during the ’03 draft. Well great. The Spurs now have another active 7 footer, but now I’m hearing that Splitter won’t come to San Antonio for another year because of his buyout with his Brazilian team.
9:36-Just got out of the bathroom. Alando Tucker is gone, off to Phoenix where he’ll come off the bench and score 15 points a night in 8 minutes. ####kers. Petteri Koponen from Finland has just been taken by the Sixers. The crowd at MSG is rather excited. And Jason Smith is headed to Philly for Daequan Cook. Facinating.
