Mark Lawrenson says that Newcastle Chairman Mike Ashley reminds him of David Brent.
And given that there is a shortage of good articles this week here is some stuff from Rick Gervais.
The first piece is with celebrity-Chef and former player Gordon Ramsey. The second bit I am sure most of you have seen but it is well worth revisiting. It's from the 2006 World Cup.
I like Rod Liddle's New Years' resolution for NUFC:
"Newcastle United supporters will at long last accustom themselves to the patently obvious fact that their team will never win anything, ever, regardless of who they employ as manager or centre-forward. You are overachieving right now, you Geordies. You should be nestling one place below Wigan, by rights. Forget the 1950s."
JONATHAN NORTHCROFT
More about EFC than THFC. The blue bit is fairly accurate. The change in the playing style (more goals) is not that simple. It’s a been a progression, and they’ll be more.
Like the fans reiterate; “In Moyes We Trust”.
FINK TANK
Always a refreshing way to look at football.
PAUL GARDNER
Commentators – have become a victim of their own success and over-massaged egos. What is wrong with a bit of understated, knowledgeable and appropriate commentary.
I watched some of the Real Madrid game today and couldn’t bear Hudson yakking on about badger’s backsides and majesterial this and that, turned it off.
Tommy Smythe – JUST SHUT THE SMEG UP – YOU ARE A SMEG! And like a certain Basketball commentator his vocals are purely an act. He doesn't actually sound like that when he's ordering coffee. SMEG!
Least annoying commentary at the moment by a mile is FSC doing Serie A. They don’t really package it well but the match commentators tend to be at least half decent. Particularly the ones who do it on their own.
The BEST commentary on TV at the moment is the FANZONE thingy. Two supporters talking over a taped game on a Monday night. Brilliant, refreshing, sometimes quiet, interesting and relevant. Especially if your team is being shown.
Bobby
Best and worst of the FA Cup 3rd Round for you?
Which is your favourite CUP?
Did you check out Mario Kempes' Perfect XI?
Read something about EFC working with some soccer organization in Canada - Is this still going on?
What will be your next live football match?
If Newcastle are dying of 'messiahitis', perhaps it's because the lethal level of expectation has made the club the sporting equivalent of 'messiah-nide.'
Nice to see Simon Barnes take time out to talk football. This from a man who lives with five horses and looks to prefer picking the seams of a cricket ball apart.
And how The Times of London punish their Tottenham constituents. Regularly. The score in Mr. Northcott's article is Everton 9-Spurs 2. Figured out why?
Who is Paul Gardner? Who will he ever be? Although I must agree about asking broadcasters to cut back. ESPN run the gamut from the sublime - Derek Ray - to the ridiculous - Seamus Malin and, the Harvey Keitel of 'sahccer', Janusz Mihalik. Career-killers for their co-hosts.
My wife hides the knitting needles when either of the latter two are on-air for fear of me puncturing my eardrums.
I met Tommy 'Onionbag' Smythe here in Toronto last summer and he cheerily confessed when asked that he and his ESPN crew call most of the Champions League games they cover from a voice-over studio in Bristol, Conn. They get to attend only the last two rounds of the CL, spending a week leading up to the final game on site. He sounded like someone who knew what a big bowl o' champ was.
I confess to enjoying the somewhat plush, plummy tones of Englishman Nigel Reed in calling Toronto FC games this past season, mostly on CBC-TV. Him, Craig Forrest and Scott Russell have been very good. Gerry Dobson at Sportsnet is good, too. And there's this McMahon kid at some obscure prairie broadcast skool who shows potential.
Last edited by flashman on January 7th at 12:05 AM.
BLUESTUFF & RINGO
Seems like DM has invoked the 14 day rule and will kepp Pienaar for the Chelsea game. Seems he asked nicely at first then went to the rule book.
PAUL GARDNER & FLASHMAN
Being a footnote to Arsenal or Chelsea is to be expected for a 'good cup team'; being a footnote to a 'small' northern club...
...that seems just downright rude.
COMMENTATORS
Smythe is kind of like Guinness brewed without the Liffey, Sparkling ozzie white or a nice Honduran Churchill.
THEY ARE JUST SUBSTITUTES FOR THE REAL THING!
CELEBRITY DEATHMATCH
Now that would be funny! Hudson V Smythe
Bretos V Wynalda
COMMENTATORS TWO
I can understand that most games aren't watched live, the cost is way too prohibitive.
On the Serie A broadcasts you will occaisionally hear commnetators calling other games in the background.
The image of some large Bletchly Park type room filled with commentators and the yells of "GOOAL!" springs to mind.
craigy - I think they should make our semi-final a one off game ,move it to Wem-ber-ley ,and call it the final.
After all ,that's what it really is.
Who's in the other semi anyway ,I can't remember.
"I have never seen Italy, Germany, Brazil or Argentina with a coach from another country. In fact, most of the best teams have a coach from their own country."
"...look at the international scene now. Which foreign teams are coached by English coaches? And where are the English footballers playing abroad?"
"It is essential to speak the language...You have to be able to motivate the players."
Unrelated, MARCA is calling Benitez "a dead man walking".
Blatter is a stooge and a gangster. Want to know the difference between England and Italy, Germany, Brasil, and Argentina? A whole bunch of World Cups.
England is not in the same category as those named. What is his point, other than insulting the English and trying to undermine Capello?
What about all the success the Dutch coaches have had around the world? Hiddink took S. Korea to the semi-finals. Whosit won Euro 2004 with Greece. Sepp's a ####!
RINGO: Yeah, really nothing to worry about in other semi. It features chimney sweeps, binmen and fishmongers on a scruffy cockney pub side against Her Majesty's Official Yoof Team, appropriately sponsored by the global truffle cartel.
Thanks for the articles. I was appalled by McDougall's piece on trade in young African players. Rather than sounding off on the tightness of female players shorts or who England appoints as its manager, perhaps Sepp and the rest of the FIFA hierarchy could bestir their fat #### to do something positive. It's something I expect falls under FIFA's baliwick.
craigy_f
Thanks for the Kempes XI. A great player and a great commentator. Speaking of which, I share your view on "Auld Onion Bag" Smythe -- he destroys the game for me, too. Which is irritating because I do enjoy Derek Rae's play-by-play so I can't turn down the volume to squelch that ####.
I agree with flashman that Nigel Reed was excellent as was Fox's Mitch Peacock, who called a couple of games. I despise the Sportsnet pair of Dobson and Forrest, obnoxious homers whose "analysis" largely consists of ####ing about referees' calls when they go against Canada (good or bad)and rehashing their Chestertonian prejudices about Latin Americans. They are equally terrible on Europe -- I'll bet their news feed comes from the Daily Mail because it's the same tired old cliched garbage from the 70s. They aren't the worst, though. That distinction is earned by The Score. Host James Sharman, Brian Budd and Neil Davidson are unwatchable and unable to be saved by the occasional insight provided by Paul James (who is very dull but knows the game -- something that can't be said about the other three prats). Non-Canadians should count themselves lucky that they are spared these fools every Sunday . . .
Last edited by albertagooner on January 7th at 11:12 AM.
BLUESTUFF FLASHMAN
Nowt wrong with working the bins. The greatest goalie Wales ever produced was a binman!
Pienaar is being sent to South Africa early. That F****** C*** Blatter flexing his muscles. Note in his recent release slamming England that he mentioned the importance of Country.
Still time for this to change though.
APOLOGIES, COMMENTATORS AND INCORRECT METAPHORS
A much better way fo describing dear old OnionBag Smythe would be thus :
An Englishman with an umbrella & Bowler Hat
A Frenchman wearing a stripy jumper, a beret, a string of onions
A German in lederhosen
A Scotsman wearing a kilt and eating a haggis
The man is a CARICATURE
I'm so sorry to have initially chosen a terrible way of describing him.
NORF SAARF DEVIDE / FLASHMAN
At least they have electricty @ White Hart Lane - they still use candles and vats of phospherous for night games Oop Norf! The scheduling also has to take into account 30 hour days down the pits!
BLATTER / GETZ76
Read it then forgot it.
Like it not England have actually won a World Cup. Which is more than the Dutch, the same as the French and more than the entirety of Africa, Asia, North & Central America, most of South America and most of Europe.
The past is the past and Capello is a step into the future - now if only Barwick and Brooking would go.
Last edited by craigy_f on January 7th at 11:30 AM.
FA CUP 4th ROUND
Arsenal get a doozy Parkin might give Toure and Gallas nightmares though!
Oldham get a nice reward
Swindon and the GAS would be a plumb tie
Almost a doozy for Chelsea
More banana skins at Anfield
Pretty easy for Man U - unless they get Reading.
Top Soutch Coast meeting - could be a cracking game
Derby could be in the fifth round
Watford and Wolves may be a cracker
Away banana skin for Curbishly or Sven
Ditto for Southgate
The possibility still exists for Robbie Fowler to play against his old club in the fifth.
BOBBY
Any ties that leap out at you for the fourth round?
TRAITOROUS SCUM & RINGO
Grew up with a lad, a lifelong red, hit his mid 20's and became a manc...
BLUESTUFF
Auntie says Arteta is suspended for the game against Chelsea.
I understood that red card suspensions were for the competition they were issued in.
Somebody clarify this please.
I completely agree; there is always such an obvious agenda with Blatter's comments. I trust the president of FIFA as much as the head of any other cartel; inherently corrupt. They do not care about the health of the game unless it is good for the health of the net income for FIFA. Having a strong league, well produced and distributed, with a such a large contingent of international players (i.e., the EPL) is a threat to the product of international football that is FIFA's bread and butter. Whatever you want to say about the EPL, it is a financial superpower. Sure, FIFA still make money off of all of it, but they need that World Cup nut every four years to keep the coffers stuffed. Any threat to that must be knocked down a peg or two. What a racket.
I have said before, Wenger does not care if he wins these games. He can (1) afford to field his reserves because they nearly as good as the first XI, (2) he needs to rest his first XI for the other three races and (3) as with last year, this is were he finds players prove their worth for first XI duties. I think he is more interested in (3) than in winning the cup. I could be wrong.
As an Arsenal supporter, I am already happy with this season, regardless of how the race on these four fronts pan out. Most games have been entertaining, they are getting results, the younger bunch are showing promise, and the club is strong financially so any plans Wenger has will not be impeded by lack of cash. Silverware will be a bonus based on my expectations set in the summer. Arguing about Arsenal's pampered treatment? They get bashed constantly about their lack of English players, including yesterday's affair. Yet, it is hard to argue with a team that handles their finances responsibly and turns rough players into gems (usually). I am glad it takes more than money to guarantee wins in the EPL. It takes smart money (ManCity vs. Fulham).
Craigy, I thought bans covered all things domestic and the exception was Europe with European bans applying only to European comps. On the other hand perhaps Auntie is just plain wrong?
As for commentators, well thankfully that Gardner geezer of the NY Sun is not a commentator, but he could do well to find something he knows more about. Once more I am left wondering how anyone can get paid for such drivel. I hope, for Mr Gardner's sake, that an armada of Englshmen invades the commentary boxes of American football games to mis-pronounce names and mis-diagnose tactics. Then he could whinge with reason. As is his comments show a flagrant lack of knowledge and understanding (footballing and cultural) about the beautiful game. Bobby is like a breath of fresh air in Canada and thank heavens he is here cos Fox would be totally unwatchable with out him.
As the conversation of commentators and brown nosing bobby continues, I have to ask Bobby, how come you don't do any commentating on FSC? I know you have been asked this before, but I couldn't remember the answer.
Bolton supposedly turn down a Chelsea offer for Anelka.
Drogba says again he wants to move this summer.
Berbatov kills his own transfer speculation:
'Such hysteria seems to me stupid, I'm not worth so much money,' he said. 'I'm happy at the moment, we'll see what will happen. I know I can win trophies with Spurs.
'We (Spurs) are working to correct our mistakes and I think (coach) Juande Ramos is the man who can change things.
'He's very good as a man and as an expert, he can see details which are hidden from other people's view.'
we can now stop asking Bobby every blog how he fits in to team A,B,C as its fairly apparent now that 31m pounds is ridiculous and he doesn't seem like he wants to move... until the summer maybe ;P
If they are smart they sell Anelka for more then 10m on the last day of the deadline. 3 Prem games in Jan for Bolton are Blackburn, Newcastle and Fulham. All doable games with an Anelka who wants to prove his worth. Would be high comedy if he scores/wins all three to pump his value even higher and move Bolton safer from the bottom so they can sell him at the final hour.
Last edited by JayAlves on January 7th at 3:24 PM.
RINGO" Another team? Please. The glory will return. Glory that sounds like...
"Veeel-ya. And STILL Ricky Veel-ya! What a fantastic run! He SCORES!! a-MAYY-zing goal!!!
With that F.A. Cup-winnig play, with those immortal words from John Motson, with the overhead twirl of a scarf bought two summers earlier and worn with pride at both White Hart Lane and Led Zeppelin's final concert at Knebworth, was a Spurs Fan Forever confirmed.
I also became more appreciative of John Motson who, despite some hilarious verbal hiccups along the way, later added to his legacy with a great line describing yet another dazzling run in a Chelsea game:
"OHHHhhh, ZOHHHLaaah! The toes were twinkling there."
Last edited by flashman on January 7th at 4:32 PM.
RED CARDS & EX REDS
Ta Verbal et al.
So he'll have to get a bigger helicopter then!
SPURS / AG
Isn't that Danny Blanchflower, oddly enough a Spurs great.
Some great quotes and the balls to turn down Eamonn Andrews.
Pretty decent player by all accounts.
MORE SPURS & JAYALVES
Some reverse pychology from the Bulgarian perhaps.
TROTTERS
They paid 8 for him so anything less than 13 is bad business. I'd be whispering about Liverpool, United, City, Milan(s), Bayern, West Ham to the press. Sevilla, Barca, Arsenal anyone and everyone.
How's these for headlines? Perhaps in the Sun or the Mail or the Telegraph!
"Bolton turn down Couch & 10M for Anelka."
Megson manager slaps huge price tag on his star striker "The big clubs can ask, he's not for sale, not even for 20M"
INELLIGIBLE PLAYERS
What is the penalty for fielding an inelligible player? What has the FA, UEFA, FIFA doiled out as punishmnent in the past?
RICO
But does being able to provide a good analysis translate into being a good commentator?
Alright Bobby... Blackburn are now in a poor run of form, but surely you can now mea culpa on your "dissing" of Roque Santa Cruz? The man is toward the top of the premier league goal scorers and in all competitions looks a pretty decent goal scorer.
Hi Bibby,
U have bin tlking abt the gud and sweet football arsenal are playing. do u see them as a team to win the title this season?
I wil b listening ur program tonight.
RINGO: I was trying to make the point about supporting Spurs and Glasgow Rangers at a time when these clubs, and the cultures that surround and support them, could scarcely be less fashionable.
And to illustrate how it's a by-product of the sort of polarized thinking that results when ratings- or reader-hungry media instantly flock towards whatever is in vogue at any given time.
It tends to blur longer-term perspective. Winding up Arsenal fans is a simple matter of reminding them that despite their recent domestic success, they still trail Spurs - and Chelski - in total European trophies won.
Folks, is it good for the market that Bolton refused Chelsea's offer? Is a player like Anelka, who changes clubs frequently, worth more than Chelsea's offer? I'm not so sure...
Ringo... hilarious stuff! Love him or hate him Motty knows his stuff and is a legend who will likely never be surpassed and from S'norbans too.
Craigy, with Anelka off to the Chavs your undertaker might be able to offload fat yak for a few bob to Gary Megson. Trouble is you won't even raise enough to bid for Crouchy!
Medp you have to a tad the worse for wear eh? Who's Bibby?
Last edited by redfan2000 on January 7th at 6:11 PM.
RICO
Couldn't hurt. WHich one would work best
SPL
BPL
Serie A
La Liga
MLS
FA Cup
League Cup
International
And would Bobby be play-by-play or colour
Who would be his partner.
Actually I think LGB and I should do the Fanzone broadcast of the Derby!
FLASHMAN
Being into a club because it's fashionable. Changing the club you follow. It's like someone walked over my grave.
Long term perspective - a crucial component in the supporters arsenal. ('scuse the pun). Without it you are only as good as your last result.
oooo Two uefa Cup wins since 1972.... One against the mighty Anderlecht won on pens and a mighty win in 72 against... Wolves?
Wish Arsenal could crash out of the Champions League a tournament I don't think Sp*rs have participated in since it was re-modeled in 1993, and pad their European stats with Uefa cup victories.
Here lets use some more comparable stats.
FA cups Arsenal 10 > Sp*rs 8.
Leagues... Arsenal 13 > Sp*rs 2.
Wish we had a penalty shoot out win over Anderlecht instead of all those league titles... I honestly think I rather lose in the CL final to a world class team like Barca then win the Uefa cup.
REDFAN
Just spotted the latest Couch publicity photos. He looks very athletic.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikiped ia/commons/thumb/1/1a/Red_sofa.jpg/ 180px-Red_sofa.jpg
or
http://thefightspot.com/wp-content/ uploads/redcouch.png
or
http://www.fotosearch.com/thumb/UNW /UNW061/u30137742.jpg
He really looks overrated in red. Just wouldn't work in blue. Might work in Claret though or black and white.
Here's some pictures of a real Liverpool striker.
http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn :QJQGoQWg27-ZKM:www.noulakaz.net/we blog/images/20050127-fowler.jpg
or
http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn :HggeO4kPDSuFFM:www.liverweb.org.uk /rush.jpg
GOALS
Thanks Atleti! Cab you see any of those blokes leaving for another club in January?
2007/2008 GOALS / REDFAN.5
A piece of useless furniture - 7
Someone not freakishly tall or overrated - 11
The real thing in red (perhaps) - 16
As a user of the word Chav I thought these would be appropriate to you.
"In a February 2005 article in The Times, Julie Burchill argued that use of the word is a form of “social racism,” and that such “sneering” reveals more about the shortcomings of the “chav-haters” than those of their supposed victims.
See the article at
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/articl e/0,,7-1488120,00.html
The writer John Harris argued along similar lines in a 2007 article in The Guardian.
See the article at
http://www.guardian.co.uk/comment/s tory/0,,2027396,00.html
I think Pompey tried to lure Güiza to England a few days ago, but the offer was turned down.
Not sure about Diego Milito. I think he'll stay put this January as well. I have a feeling he'll leave the club in the summer, though.
Morientes will be shown the door either in January or, more likely, the summer.
Luis Fabiano has said that he would eventually like to leave Sevilla for a big club-- during the summer, maybe. In January? Probably not.
Everyone else, I think, will stay put.
Bobby, I sit back and smile about your regular opinions. However tonight you have excelled yourself. Running down Peter Crouch, where do I start. Firstly you would give your left testicle not only to have him playing for one of low level Dundee jokes let alone Scotland. His goal scoring rate at international level excedes both of your heroes...Kenny Dalglish (twice as good) and Dennis Law also. Both of whom scored some of their goals against poorer, less accomplished, less fit and amateur oppositions.
Crouch is loved by top coaches (with more 'soccer' knowledge than you could eever dream of having) and fans globally, especially at major clubs like Liverpool, Southampton and Portsmouth.
Where next, oh yeah 'Richard Cresswell was causing Newcastle problems', Bobby no he was not - he was completely ineffective.
Next 'Kevin Phillips was no threat in the Prem', he was his club's top scorer on repeated occassions and was the last player to hit an amazing 30 prem goals in one season.
Then James Beattie (same comment as Phillips)...er Bob, he scored almost 100 prem goals less than 300 games. He joined Southampton as a raw young forward and by the time he had played the same amount of games as Alan Shearer (who also started as a raw young forward at Saints) he had netted over twice as many goals - same league - same level of opponent etc
Bobby, try and be a little more professional and a shade less ill-informed and opinionated without an ounce of analytical back-up.
A bit about me so that you just don't blow me off. I am in my 30th competitive season of coaching, I have coache
Last edited by TijuanaTim on January 7th at 8:28 PM.
...continued from above...
..of coaching, I have coached/managed at all levels. One of my former players won six full England caps and played for your countries greatest club, another was involved in million pound transfers and scored winning goals at Wembley....I am not sure whether this was before or during the time you have been an 'expert' or have been an author of a 'blog'.
Otherwise keep up the good work, it would be cool if you could interview or meet some football people 'in the know', it would add to your insights. BTW, your team Carlos - Jeremy etc are awesome. Happy New Year
Crouch, among other things, is horribly inconsistent, lacks pace, has poor touch, very rarely creates goals for other players, and is a weak finisher. ...You don't need to coach 30 seasons or have a former player who has been capped 6 times with England to know that.
He's an average player at best. To be honest, I'm surprised he plays in the Prem.
EDIT: Then again, my opinion of Crouch is even lower than Bobby's.
What's TT boy on!?
Last time I checked Crouchy had started 4 matches in the Prem this season and is yet to find the back of the net. He only started in about half of Liverpool's matches last season. Crouchy isn't even getting any "love" from his own manager, and is way down the pecking order these days.
I couldn't tell if TT thinks that Crouch is better than Dalglish and Law? I don't have three decades of coaching experience, but I'll respectfully disagree anyway. Crouchy may have a great "scoring rate" for England, but he's only scored a couple in competitive matches. The hattrick and robot-dance against Jamaica shouldn't really count. Maybe Kaka' should try that dance, so he can raise his scoring average and be as good as Crouchy.
Stoke's Cresswell forced Given to make two excellent saves last Sunday, and also miss-hit another great chance from a good position. In a cup tie against a lower league club (which finished 0-0), all that could be considered "causing problems".
I can't wait to hear what Bobby would give either of his nuts for, but I'm sure it would have to be something better that Crouchy playing for Scotland.
Bobby is opinionated, that's why we like him. If we just wanted stats, including scoring rates, we could look those up ourselves. Again, if TT thinks Rafa Benitez is wrong about Crouchy, that's fine, but TT is the one in the minority, no matter how many goals he's scored at Wembley, or coached at Wembley, and transfer fees, and 30 years, and 6 caps, and all the rest of it.
I am the soccer analyst for the Fox Soccer Report and appear twice a week - every Monday and Friday at 10:00 EST. I have also been a regular contributor to the Fox Soccer Channel website since the summer of 2004. Over the last twenty years I have contributed to various radio and television programs throughout North America as well writing about the game for newspapers, magazines and websites.
Thank you to all who take time to visit this blog and especially to those of you who post your comments and thoughts.
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